*Like It or Not...This Is Me*

 

Hello all you crazy cats...Bad news about my mother.      A friend   of my sisters called her last week and told her my mother talked to her and said she was going to refuse treatment, So I have been pretty much freaking out and crying alot. Especially at night. I really don't know what to do. I feel like I am going insane and all. I am going to the clinic again tonight and get some valium or something. I am having trouble with this.  I can't sleep and food makes me sick.  I know, I need to take care of myself too, but I am so very lonely.  Yes I have my sisters, but we are not close.  I watch my nephew, but that is about it as far as anything close.  Hubby is great and I told him I may push him away at first, it is just the side of me I got from my grandmother...stubborn!!! lol  I am crying here now because I can't stop.  People are calling me and emailing me asking all sorts of stuff and I cannot take it, it is too much.  I really hate to be the oldest child.  My auntie emailed me and I just started to cry and hyperventilated really bad, the kids freaked out.  I am only crying now. 

This past weekend my sister and I ripped out the carpet in the basement.  My mohter has decided to go all out and do it all.  I have to go over there later and rip out a built in planter in the basement for her.  So much work but it will be worth it all.  Makes my mother happy so ... I will do it.

She took a spill down the stairs and got banged up pretty bad so my sister and I are going to have the internet hooked up upstairs for her so she won't have to go up and down.  That damn morphine is killing her.    She is having problems seeing and now she has a tick from the meds.

As some of you may know, my mohters' neighbor is battling breast cancer and now has lost her hair.  I was at my moms this last weekend and I saw she had gotten a wig.   Looks good I must say!

Man, we have to find out why so many people are getting cancer.  Well those who smoke, I don't feel sorry for you if you get lung cancer so HAHAHA...it says on the label, causes cancer.  If you are unable to read well then, ok, I forgive you but don't go blaming the tobacco companies if you get lung cancer or emphysema(sp?).  There are warnings so you all should know!  Ok, that was a bit of a rant huh?  Anyways...my point is that we need to get busy on the cancer shit and get it all cured...ALL CANCER...!!!

I better go before I say something I may regret...lol

 

Take Care Those Who DO and Those Who Don't...

 

J.