Sep 28, 2006 at 19:24 o\clock
Sep 21, 2006 at 06:19 o\clock
Nothing too great here but bad news as always...
So as you most know, my mother has pancreatic cancer and also had a fall which broke her hip, wrist and shoulder. I have been taking care of her since then during the day and my sister does at night. Anyways, she has been on chemo for some time and today was the dreaded day we found out that it isn't working anymore thus they have stopped treatment. It wasn't helping at all. Does this mean it is going to go fast or do I have to see her suffer and die in front of me. The doctor recommended hospice and so tomorrow the nurse is coming over to my mothers house to talk with all of us about that. This is such a heavy burden on my heart and body. I was thinking of checking into a psych ward just for exhaustion(sp?). I now understand why movie stars and famous people do that. I am so tired of having to do it all and it seems as though I am doing it all by myself. I don't have anyone to really talk with about it and so I sit here trying not to think so much!
This guy I hung out with when I lived in NY 19 years ago emailed me out of the blue and told me his father passed away last night. I was so sad about that. He(his father) had been suffering with dymentia for years I guess and is was hard on him and his mother to have to deal with that. I can only hope he is no longer suffering that horrible mess. So D and I talked for an hour and we both got a few things off our minds. No, don't go make this all into something it is not. He is just a wonderful person to talk to and he understands me, more so than my own hubby does. But no, there is nothing and never was anything between us.
So that is all that is going on here for now. I know I have not updated or commented and I think you all know why...I am just not available all day to sit and do this, but today I had to get it off my mind-so to speak.
Hope you are well and I send hugs and happiness to you all!
J.




