Found this website and read it all and was shocked a bit, but it makes for an interesting read, huh? Please let me know what you think...I am not commenting on it yet, but will - after I read it a couple more times to see if I missed something...
Well...I went to the clinic and got two new prescriptions. A higher dose of antidepressants and adavan(sp?). I hope this helps me out. I had a panic attack last night just thinking about things and freaked out crying and could not control it. Hyperventilating and the whole get up. Thank Goddess for credit cards...it was the only way to pay for it. No cash till Friday. Man, I really hate living paycheck to paycheck. It is only for the next month because we had unexpected medical bills again. My mammogram and this and that. Insurance is great but damn, cover more for what we pay a month.
I went to the better after hours clinic and low and behold...new summer hours...they closed at 8 PM instead of 9PM. Pissed me off so I went to the evil hospitol across the street. YAY I was the last person they let in so I was there till half past nine. If I would not have gotten in I would have gone to the emergency room. It is cheaper and faster and I should have just done it. I really don't like the 'EVIL ' hosp. They are called Med Center One, but we call it death center one. I know I know but really it is not a good place. I have one doc there but will never go to another because I like her, my gynecologist. Had her for 17 years now and she is great!!
I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow(yay again for credit cards) because we have nothing left but ingredients for hotdishes. I can only handle so many hotdishes a month. Forget tuna...I refuse to eat that crap. I bought pre-chopped lettuce yesterday and that should be good enough for a couple of days...for me. I do have a roast I can take out and I took out two chickens. I am going to make one for the sister and nephew and my mom, the other is for US!!! I better put them in the fridge or ... SALMONILA...gross huh? OOOO... I just remembered I have bread crumbs and so I can make stuffing too. And chicken boullion too...YAY.
Thank you to those who just left me nice comments...really means alot to me now as I am going insane and need to keep it real...hee hee!
Well it is late and I need to take a pill or two nad go to bed!
Later all...
J.
Hello all you crazy cats...Bad news about my mother. 
A friend of my sisters called her last week and told her my mother talked to her and said she was going to refuse treatment, So I have been pretty much freaking out and crying alot. Especially at night. I really don't know what to do. I feel like I am going insane and all. I am going to the clinic again tonight and get some valium or something. I am having trouble with this. I can't sleep and food makes me sick. I know, I need to take care of myself too, but I am so very lonely. Yes I have my sisters, but we are not close. I watch my nephew, but that is about it as far as anything close. Hubby is great and I told him I may push him away at first, it is just the side of me I got from my grandmother...stubborn!!! lol I am crying here now because I can't stop. People are calling me and emailing me asking all sorts of stuff and I cannot take it, it is too much. I really hate to be the oldest child. My auntie emailed me and I just started to cry and hyperventilated really bad, the kids freaked out. I am only crying now.
This past weekend my sister and I ripped out the carpet in the basement. My mohter has decided to go all out and do it all. I have to go over there later and rip out a built in planter in the basement for her. So much work but it will be worth it all. Makes my mother happy so ... I will do it.
She took a spill down the stairs and got banged up pretty bad so my sister and I are going to have the internet hooked up upstairs for her so she won't have to go up and down. That damn morphine is killing her. She is having problems seeing and now she has a tick from the meds.
As some of you may know, my mohters' neighbor is battling breast cancer and now has lost her hair. I was at my moms this last weekend and I saw she had gotten a wig. Looks good I must say!
Man, we have to find out why so many people are getting cancer. Well those who smoke, I don't feel sorry for you if you get lung cancer so HAHAHA...it says on the label, causes cancer. If you are unable to read well then, ok, I forgive you but don't go blaming the tobacco companies if you get lung cancer or emphysema(sp?). There are warnings so you all should know! Ok, that was a bit of a rant huh? Anyways...my point is that we need to get busy on the cancer shit and get it all cured...ALL CANCER...!!!
I better go before I say something I may regret...lol
Take Care Those Who DO and Those Who Don't...
J.
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