*Like It or Not...This Is Me*

I am in such a good mood today.  Don't know why, just am!  I think maybe cuz I have a great new backround ... courtesy of the great and powerful Miss SHELLY!!!  YAY  She did that for me!  I needed a change and so she was gracious enough to do that for me!

I am at my mothers now as the carpet for the upstairs is being put in and she didn't want to be out there having to deal with them. 

I was sitting here checking my emails and saw this piece of paper on her desk and looked at it.  It was her obituary she has written out.  WTF, I am freaking out and all.  I emailed my aunt(her sister) yesterday to let her know she had her first round of chemo yesterday and I also put the pressure on her about why she hasn't  called or emailed her.  I know how pathetic of her not to call your dying sister.  She emailed me back to say she was too busy right then and would email me today...she did and she says she feels guilty now...GOOD, she should!  She is selfish sometimes.  She will regret it when the time comes.  Me, I am taking full advantage of her in a good way.  Trying to come out everyday to see her and make her lunch or do whatever she needs to have done. 

Hubby is going out of town today until like Sunday so it is PARTY time.  He has his all school reunion and will be basically drunk the whole time!  I decided not to go with as his sisters will be there as well.  I don't need their shit especially now ya know!?  Bunch of frickin' assholes.  I made zuccini bars with cream chees frosting for him to take up there.  His mom asked me too.

My sister bought a new little pool like mine for the nephew and it is so cute!  It is like mine but alot smaller.  Just big enought for him and mommy to sit and chill!

My aunt emailed me today and asked if it was alright to come  this weekend, her and my two cousins.  It ain't up to me, but it would be nice to see them.  I still have their Christmas gifts to give them...EEEEKKKKSSS huh?

The deer head on the wall is creeping me out!  Yes I know a deer head.  My dad used to hunt when he was alive and he caught this deer  with a bow...yep he was skilled huh?  My son would like to bow hunt too but that can get expensive, more so than a gun.  

 

Well better go

 

Later...

 

J.

A –       Artistic
B –              Busty

C –              Crazy
D –             DUH
E –             Enticing

F –              Fiesty

G –             Gutsy

H –             Humorous

I –               Independent

J –              Jealous
K –              Kinky
L –               Lonely

M –              Magical

N –               Nutty
O –               Organized

P –                Pale
Q –               Quiet

R –               Rustic

S –                Sexy

T –               Thankful
U –               Unusual
V -                 Vixen

W –              Witty

X –              X-rated

Y –              Yummy

Z –               Zealous

So hello to you all who care and to those who don't...lol  I have been busy with my mother as of late and it is getting hectic.  Tomorrow she starts her chemo, in case some of you didn't know she decided to do it.  It isn't to help cure as they said she is past that point, it is now only for the pain.  Last week she went in for her pain block and it sort of helped her a bit.  Now she is having major vision problems and I have to take her everywhere and do alot of things for her.  Last week she had me get her a new chair for the livingroom and a slipcover for the couch.  Her house is looking pretty damn good now.

So that is why I have not been on here much and as far as commenting to you all...it will have to wait till I have the time and energy.  I am also taking care of the neighbors yard for her while they are on vacation, I don't mind...I am getting paid!  Plus they have a husky purebred that just had pups a couple of weeks ago and they are adorable.

MEY---I didn't get my nails done as it is the same day as my mom starts chemo...lol  Loved your comment and I miss you so much!  I will get to b-net soon to see what has been going on with you!

SHELLY---Oh my G...thanks for being online the other day well night and talking with me...meant alot to me!  Miss you too!!!

TERI---Hope you're settling into your new place and fuck the nasty ass jealous people who have to be mean and tease...it just means they are jealous and they are pathetic!

ANGEL---I have yet to see you online,  I have MSN messenger too!  I hope you are settling in well in your new place as well...I would love to see pictures!

Everyone else...I miss you and will talk with you soon!

 

Later all you crazy cats...

 

J.

Ok, not the tv show, just stupid relatives as usual.  My sister in law comes over to get my daughter to babysit the evil nephews in her shiny pretty brand new Denahli(sp?).  Hair all perfect, toes painted a bright orange, nails done and so on and so forth...if you get the idea.

That reminds me, I have a nail appointment on the 29th of June to get nails put on again.  Haven't had nails for a few months now.  Just no time and now it will be the fourth of July soon and all relatives will be here for my daughters' b-day(on the 4th BTW), I have to look good...lol

Talked with my auntie today and asked if they were coming down for the day or week or whatever and she doesn't know for sure.  That is so sad.  They have to care for their damn dog that fell along time ago and can't go up and down the stairs.  Ok, they have to use a towel and put it under his backside to get him up the stairs.  Hello, the dog is old and what quality of life is that to have to do that to the dog.  Oh well, it is a part of the family, but me, I would have the thing put down just cause the quality of life is not so good for the dog.  No, don't get me wrong and all, I am an animal lover and all but it can't be good for the thing to have to lift the hind end up everytime he needs to go out and take a  pee. 

We did not get the wicked storm I had mentioned about in an earlier blog!  Sad, cuz it would have been nice to get a big insurance check again.  Last time we had hail damage we had to replace the shingles on the roof and the metal shed.  We did it all ourselves and ended up with a few grand left over.  Cool eh?  I even drained the pool cuz they aren't cheap so...it is ok as far as the water bill...only like eight bucks extra added when we fill it up .

Miss Nergeeder---Thanks fo r all the nice emails...love em!  Hope you feel better soon and let me know WTF is going on...ok!!!

SHELLY---CONGRATULATIONS and I am very proud of you for all you have accomplished so far.  Miss you much!!

Teri---Hope your move is going well and that the bugs are leaving you alone!  I hate this time of year with the bugs and now tree sap!

MISS ANGEL---Hmmm...hope your move is going well too...I would love to see your kitchen and who cares what people think...it is you and you expressing yourself, they don't like it, they don't have to come over and visit!

MIST---Thank you for your kind words...I am trying to relax and enjoy the time I do have by myself, hard, but doing it.

Well, if I forgot anyone---please feel free to bitch at me so I know!  I do love you all and miss you all.  Why isn't everyone updating more...I know, it is summer and we are all busy!  Get you butts on MSN MESSENGER already adn lets talk a bit!!! lol

 

Later...

 

J.

 

Could it be...I am actually updating and got on this site with no problems?  We shall see when I push the publish button...lol

So, went to my mothers' today and got the rest of her stuff done, as far as the garbage dumpster.  We have that thing so filled, it will most likly cost another hundred dollars to get it dumped. EEEKKKKSSS!!!  I took the other non-working dishwasher out and got it ready for hubby and his biddies to take down to the dump.  So all we have left is putting all the other crap back in the house and trying to figure out where it will all go.  We did pretty much throw alot of shit and I mean shit out.  Some my mohter doesn't even know about.  She will never know and she also said she doesn't care anymore, just so it is clean and will save us alot of time when going through when ...well you know.

She, my mother, goes in tomorrow for diabetes testing, which is most likely from the pancreatic cancer.  My F-I-L got that as well.  The doc did tell her she will be on insulin just to get it under control for now.  Man, I don't think if I got diabetes that I could inject myself.  Even though I was a cutter, needles are a whole nother ballgame.  Speaking of that...I have not even thought about doing that, in case some of you were wondering with all the new stresses I may go back to doing that...I have not...YAY right?

Ok, so there are like these freaks sitting across the street at the park.  Well, not really in the park, on the sidewalk.  Just sitting there and being stupid.  I really should be a bitch and call the po po but I have had three beers tonight and am rather calm.  If they disturb my sleep, that is going to be a bit different.  They were there one other night and just sitting there doing nothing.  I did open the windows just to hear what they are saying and I heard crap about 666 and other crap.  That kind of reminds me I have a healing spell to do for my mother.   Just a little help from the Goddess is all I need to ease my mind...thank you to ,       , for the help.  I won't divulge any names...hee hee.

Watched the World Cup today---the Germany/Poland match today and WAHOOOO...Germany won...sorry I love Germany...and  England...gotta love Beckham...*faint* 

I also watched the Stanley Cup and frickin Edmunton won...I despise that team.  Oh well.

Earlier today I put all of the lawn furniture and plants away.  We are expecting a huge storm.  Grapefruit sized hail and 80 mile an hour winds...yay...more damage to fix.  I am not looking forward to this as it is supposed to come during the sleeping hours of the night!

Decided I am getting a new monitor for the puter.  My mother got a whole new computer with a flat screen monitor and I LOVE IT!!!  So I need to start saving for that!  OH OH OH ... yesterday on QVC(like a home shopping channel) they had everything they sell for five easypay payments with a credit card and I bought this cool SPODE platter.  It is gorgoeus and only 12 dollars a moth for 5 months.  YAY...and it is an Italian style...so gorgeous!!  I will try and post a pic of it if I remember how! lol

Well it is about time to get another beer so I will close this chapter for now!!

 

Later...

 

J.

 

Ok, so I have not been around here lately.  Just feel crappy and been busy at my mothers doing this and that.  She rented a huge ass dumpster and we filled it in a couple of hours.  It is going to have to be emptied and then brought back.  She had so much crap in her house and garage.  Twenty years worth of SHIT!!!  I am hoping I won't be like that.  I am gettting better at throwing crap away.  I throw my old clothes out and we have a spring and fall clean up fix up week and we can just put anything out for them to pick up on garbage day.  So we get rid of our crap right away.

My mother was making me write out 'THE LIST' of things she wants to go to whoever when she passes on.  I found out I get two acres in the the backyard.  YAY...more taxes to pay.  But she wants us to have the land and not sell it.  It was my fathers' dream place so...I guess I will pay the taxes on it. lol 

The computer is freaking out so I must call the GEEK SQUAD.  I am going to have them bring the new graphics card I want to have put in as well. 

My son got his paycheck today and he spent almost al of it on a new PS2.  He needed a new one as our other one went to shit!  He also got the new GTR game, well I did as it is a MATURE game. hee hee  He still has quite a bit of it left(paycheck) and he is going to save it!  Tonight he is babysitting the evil nephews, but he likes the extra cash!

My daughter is spending the night at a friends for a birthday party so she will be back tomorrow.

Hubby is at work and will be going out afterwards to help his friend celebrate his thirty-first B-Day.  We went up to their soon to be home(sale pending, but buying from his ma and pa) to celebrate his wifes B-Day!  It was a fun time...got a steak for supper and had many beers.

Didn't have my nephew today and my sister is ill and throwing up and I just talked to my sister and she said he is now throwing up all over.  Great, I have to watch him tomorrow at their place.  Yukky poo...I better not get sick as well.

Oh, my mother has decided to do chemo for the pain.  It is a pill and you don't get as sick and your hair doesn't fall out.  She is going into the hospitol this week to have a block put in for the pain as well.  She should get alot of relief from that.

So there it is...an update and Miss Nergeeder...THANK YOU for the nice email...I appreciate it ALOT!!!  Get yourself better.

Oh dear...I just heard that Sawyer Brown is coming to the casino and also TESLA and a few other losers who can't make it anymore so they do casinos and small town bars...SAD M.F.'s  lol

Later all y'all...

 

J.

 

Found this website and read it all and was shocked a bit, but it makes for an interesting read, huh?  Please let me know what you think...I am not commenting on it yet, but will - after I read it a couple more times to see if I missed something...

 

http://www.satansrapture.com/6606.htm

Well...I went to the clinic and got two new prescriptions.  A higher dose of antidepressants and adavan(sp?).  I hope this helps me out.  I had a panic attack last night just thinking about things and freaked out crying and could not control it.  Hyperventilating and the whole get up.  Thank Goddess for credit cards...it was the only way to pay for it.  No cash till Friday.  Man, I really hate living paycheck to paycheck.  It is only for the next month because we had unexpected medical bills again.  My mammogram and this and that.  Insurance is great but damn, cover more for what we pay a month. 

I went to the better after hours clinic and low and behold...new summer hours...they closed at 8 PM instead of 9PM.  Pissed me off so I went to the evil hospitol across the street.  YAY I was the last person they let in so I was there till half past nine.  If I would not have gotten in I would have gone to the emergency room.  It is cheaper and faster and I should have just done it.  I really don't like the 'EVIL ' hosp.  They are called Med Center One, but we call it death center one.  I know I know but really it is not a good place.  I have one doc there but will never go to another because I like her, my gynecologist.  Had her for 17 years now and she is great!!

I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow(yay again for credit cards) because we have nothing left but ingredients for hotdishes.  I can only handle so many hotdishes a month.  Forget tuna...I refuse to eat that crap.  I bought pre-chopped lettuce yesterday and that should be good enough for a couple of days...for me.  I do have a roast I can take out and I took out two chickens.  I am going to make one for the sister and nephew and my mom, the other is for US!!!  I better put them in the fridge or ... SALMONILA...gross huh?   OOOO... I just remembered I have bread crumbs and so I can make stuffing too.  And chicken boullion too...YAY.

Thank you to those who just left me nice comments...really means alot to me now as I am going insane and need to keep it real...hee hee!

Well it is late and I need to take a pill or two nad go to bed!

 

Later all...

 

J.

 

 

Hello all you crazy cats...Bad news about my mother.      A friend   of my sisters called her last week and told her my mother talked to her and said she was going to refuse treatment, So I have been pretty much freaking out and crying alot. Especially at night. I really don't know what to do. I feel like I am going insane and all. I am going to the clinic again tonight and get some valium or something. I am having trouble with this.  I can't sleep and food makes me sick.  I know, I need to take care of myself too, but I am so very lonely.  Yes I have my sisters, but we are not close.  I watch my nephew, but that is about it as far as anything close.  Hubby is great and I told him I may push him away at first, it is just the side of me I got from my grandmother...stubborn!!! lol  I am crying here now because I can't stop.  People are calling me and emailing me asking all sorts of stuff and I cannot take it, it is too much.  I really hate to be the oldest child.  My auntie emailed me and I just started to cry and hyperventilated really bad, the kids freaked out.  I am only crying now. 

This past weekend my sister and I ripped out the carpet in the basement.  My mohter has decided to go all out and do it all.  I have to go over there later and rip out a built in planter in the basement for her.  So much work but it will be worth it all.  Makes my mother happy so ... I will do it.

She took a spill down the stairs and got banged up pretty bad so my sister and I are going to have the internet hooked up upstairs for her so she won't have to go up and down.  That damn morphine is killing her.    She is having problems seeing and now she has a tick from the meds.

As some of you may know, my mohters' neighbor is battling breast cancer and now has lost her hair.  I was at my moms this last weekend and I saw she had gotten a wig.   Looks good I must say!

Man, we have to find out why so many people are getting cancer.  Well those who smoke, I don't feel sorry for you if you get lung cancer so HAHAHA...it says on the label, causes cancer.  If you are unable to read well then, ok, I forgive you but don't go blaming the tobacco companies if you get lung cancer or emphysema(sp?).  There are warnings so you all should know!  Ok, that was a bit of a rant huh?  Anyways...my point is that we need to get busy on the cancer shit and get it all cured...ALL CANCER...!!!

I better go before I say something I may regret...lol

 

Take Care Those Who DO and Those Who Don't...

 

J.

Yep, I am going to the doctor again.  I think I  have an eye infection.  It is runny and hurts and is totally red.  I woke up with eye buggers this morning and had to soak it with a warm wash cloth to get it to open.  I really hate eye infections as the meds for it have sulfa in them and I am allergic to sulfa.  What to do, but it hurts so very bad.

Oh dear...there is no milk and the nephew is all whiney about wanting cereal and warm milk...yes I know warm milk eeewwww but he likes it.  I don't like milk as I get all sick to my tummy when I have it, so I drink soy milk which isn't too bad.

MISS MEY is back from holiday now and I have to go visit her bloggie and see how it was.  She is such a lucky ducky to be able to go on holiday.  I would, but there is nowhere fun to go to around here. :o(

Hubby had to work late last night-3AM he got off.  Well it is OT.

Made a homemade German Chocolate Cake a couple days ago.  Real frosting with the egg yolks and evap milk and all.   MMMMM it is very delicious.  I see hubby got into it and ate half of it last night.  I made him a hot dish adn left it in the fridge but he never ate it.  Oh well...the nephew like it and I will warm it up for him.

I have about three dozen chicken legs cooking in the over right now.  Later after they are cooked I will put barbeque sauce on them and cook them longer.  I find that if you cook the chicken first, the barbeque sauce sticks better when you cook them  more later on.  Can't wait to have that.  I may just barbeque them outside.

Man my eye is killing me.  I have to go get some visene(sp?) just to stop the itching.

It is supposedly going to be nice out today and this weekend.  I heard 90's on Sunday.  I hope so as I would like to go swimming.  I do have to go buy a cleaner thingy for the bottom of the pool though.  I noticed it is a bit grungy with those damn tree seeds.

Called my auntie last night, been meaning to for a week again and time just gets away.  I had to update her about my mom.  Thank you all for your kind wishes and all for my mother.  Means so very much to me.

Started another shawl today...that makes like 6 total.  I am a knitting freak.  Also Shelly---I still need your address as I tried to mail out what I said and it came back.  I was hoping you would get them in time for your walk-a-thon.  Oh well...I did email you about that so I assume you did not get the email.  Angel, I still have yours and will eventually get it out...lol 

If anyone would like one, just let me know the colour(s) and I will get started...takes a week or two.

Well it is time to go and take a nap and poke my eye out.  I really am hurting now.

J.