Is honesty really the best policy?
Mood: confused
Listening to: Ciara Goodies
The other day, I found out a fellow worker went into my blog that I asked her to erase off my history and spread things to other people at the desk. If you read my first blog, you'll find that I was sharing some guesses as to why my friend Ivy might have excluded me in a certain incident that occurred. The msg got twisted somewhere along the way and it was soon said that I was calling my friend Ivy ( also a coworker) some very mean things.
I'm a little annoyed at this. What I wrote was an isolated event that involved a friend. Yes, last time I checked, I was allowed to be a little annoyed at my friend and express my annoyance without people miscontruing my opinions as overall judgement calls. But in this event, my honest opinion at the time was completely twisted and spit out as a venomous, malicious entity. That really pisses me off. Two things about this piss me off. That the girl would go and bring this to where all of us work without a single thought of consideration. Plus, if you're going to read my blog that I asked you to delete, and that would otherwise be posted without my real name being used, don't make it your business to decide who should find out about it. It saddens me to see that there was nothing better to do than potentially harm a friendship.
Perhaps I shouldn't have written my thoughts.. but then what is the purpose of owning a blog if I can't get things off my chest? and is it too much to ask to get things off my chest harmlessly? It's as if the concept of ever being annoyed at your friend without hating her hasn't crossed the thoughts of a few.
In another case, where I believe honesty does pay off, is my relationship with Mani. It's not a normal relationship but it's lovely. This sweetheart of a boy flies from wherever he is stationed in this world ( as a diplomat's son) over to Canada to see lil ol me whenever he has time. And the bonus is, he's really cute. As you can imagine, this is not an easy relationship to maintain. Although I am harsh because I am brutally honest to a fault, I think subsequent events only prove why I should always be honest. My friends say, I'm too mean to boys and that I don't consider their feelings. That is a lie. I consider feelingS sooo MUCH. but I DO NOT hold back my thoughts that would otherwise eat at me and potentially wreck anything nice. So I'm in a bind here people. Which is it? Do you prefer sugarcoated jargon, or the deadly truth. I think many people would be tempted to answer the truth. But I ask you to rethink what you say. For example. Would it really be better to know that a guy/girl you were seeing was having problems.. like ex fantasizing about your sister/brother/best friend or vice versa depending on your sexual orientation? Or would you simply want him/her to walk away from both your lives using another alibi? Or even worse. Would you want to find out that your friend's bf/gf was leaving them because they had feelings for you and thus putting a strain on your relationship with your friend that you had no control over?
Seriously after living 23 years of my life and firmly believing that honesty is the best policy no matter what, I am stumped and would like some feedback.
Discuss
tchock disciple
Now then, This is how I feel. You and I are a lot alike. People say I am too honest to a point that I hurt peoples feelings and then because people can\'t handle honesty, Im the one that\'s put between a rock and a hard place. I think that you are *absolutely* doing the right thing when you tell the deadly truth. People have problems with it because 90 percent of the people in the world today say things because it\'s \'polite\' and you don\'t want to \'step on someone\'s toes\'. Well, how I feel is, I\'d rather be upfront and honest with someone and tell them the truth so that #1: I don\'t have to explain why I did or didn\'t say or do something about it earlier. #2 I dont have to explain why I didnt tell them as soon as I found out. #3 I dont have to offer any type of lies to cover up the truth and #4 why would I NOT want to tell my honest feelings? I want people to be honest with me. I can take it. The people that are big crybabies because they can\'t take the truth are the people that have been babied all of their lives. The real world isn\'t like that. When you go in for a job interview and Im talking about a decently paying job (not the minimum wage jobs and things like that) you will get the job or you wont. That\'s a form of rejection that people, on a daily basis, can handle. So, because the employer is saying \'you\'re not good enough to work for me because you\'re not qualified\' (or whatever) people can handle that because that\'s \'their job.\' So, I tell pepole this. If you ask me my opinion it is MY JOB to tell you my HONEST opinion and frankly if you don\'t want to hear the honest truth about my feelings or input about something, the either stop reading my blog or stop listening to me. GrRR I\'ve had to deal with this for months now b/c of my blog. I don\'t care. I said \"STOP CLICKING ON IT TO READ IT.\" and when ppl have a problem with my honesty face to face, I simply say \"dont ask me what I think if you don\'t want the truth.\"
I support you one billion percent for always telling the brutal and honest truth.
Wow, you awoke something inside of me that I\'ve not felt in a few weeks (b/c im on summer break from school and im normally debating in class). THank you!
*hugs*
~ Shel
We probably go around the \"assholes\" because sometimes, they can be so desperate that they get assholeish to get our attention.
That\'s my advice.
-Lilith
-Lilith