A really stupid error
Today my friend Julia called me. I haven't spoken to her in THREE
weeks. Well mostly because I kept dialing the wrong area code (stupid
me) but I should have noticed she hadn't called me either. Well I did
but I thoguht it was because she was so busy with her bf Luc.
It seems that she was upset at me but got over it and decided to confront me on it. Basically, I forwarded her an email that contained an email I wrote to another friend and I had mentioned in that letter, and I quote, that I hated Julia's bf.
She just got on the phone with me and said, " why do you hate luc?"
I was SO STUNNED. And then she told me about my forward and I just felt so bad. Really it sounds worse than it really is. My rants about things, a lot of them are exaggerated and so I pick on Luc because it's very easy to pick on him (because he did some really stupid things at the very beginning of their relationship that tainted him in the good books of everyone who loves Julia, her dad included). Then Julia seemed to be earnest and said, " I just want to know if it's something I'm not seeing. My dad doesn't like him either.. you would tell me right?"
How do you tell someone that their bf just doesn't measure up to them in ur eyes. I mean it's obvious because she's one of my closest friends and I am not close with him but really really, I know ppl always wonder how Luc got her. Ok. I just realized I made it sound like he either cheated on her or beat her. It was neither of those things. He's not evil or anything. I'm the first to admit that... he just fired her twice when she worked for him ( he was a phD student and she was volunteering as a bachelor's student) and he fired her because she wouldn't date him. This behaviour convinced me that he was a lunatic.. a very obsessive and selfish one at that. Since then, it's been really tough trying to get used to the idea that he's so important to Julia. I felt that it was selfish to express my... er.... disapproval because it seems I solely just feel that Julia is too good for him and that isn't something I thought my friend wanted to hear. Especially since she had/has such a hard time convincing her father and friends that he's a good guy. Her father's words were, " Julia.. don't you think he's a bit... off?" which was what I was thinking too but it's not for me to decide who she dates.
I just feel so shitty because I know she thoguht that atleast I approved despite her father's disapproval and ppl's disapproving looks. That is what I'm sorry about most.. that I made Julia sad.
In any case, I did get to know him a bit and realized he wasn't such a thoughtless selfish guy but I never really was comfortable and I exaggerated my disapproval of him and it somehow found it's way on paper... or e-paper.. which I MYSELF sent to my friend.
I feel like such an idiot.
But Julia is really cool and she understands how I am and I'm really lucky that she's cool with it now. I think I learned that I need to be more careful about how I express myself and I really should tone down on the melodrama. It sends wrong msgs and if Julia had never confronted me about this, she would have gone on thinking that I hated her bf more than I really did.
So take two things from this:
1.Reserve ur emotions and ur melodrama for not -so-public settings
2. Reread emails ur forward.
tchocky
feel like a heel
It seems that she was upset at me but got over it and decided to confront me on it. Basically, I forwarded her an email that contained an email I wrote to another friend and I had mentioned in that letter, and I quote, that I hated Julia's bf.
She just got on the phone with me and said, " why do you hate luc?"
I was SO STUNNED. And then she told me about my forward and I just felt so bad. Really it sounds worse than it really is. My rants about things, a lot of them are exaggerated and so I pick on Luc because it's very easy to pick on him (because he did some really stupid things at the very beginning of their relationship that tainted him in the good books of everyone who loves Julia, her dad included). Then Julia seemed to be earnest and said, " I just want to know if it's something I'm not seeing. My dad doesn't like him either.. you would tell me right?"
How do you tell someone that their bf just doesn't measure up to them in ur eyes. I mean it's obvious because she's one of my closest friends and I am not close with him but really really, I know ppl always wonder how Luc got her. Ok. I just realized I made it sound like he either cheated on her or beat her. It was neither of those things. He's not evil or anything. I'm the first to admit that... he just fired her twice when she worked for him ( he was a phD student and she was volunteering as a bachelor's student) and he fired her because she wouldn't date him. This behaviour convinced me that he was a lunatic.. a very obsessive and selfish one at that. Since then, it's been really tough trying to get used to the idea that he's so important to Julia. I felt that it was selfish to express my... er.... disapproval because it seems I solely just feel that Julia is too good for him and that isn't something I thought my friend wanted to hear. Especially since she had/has such a hard time convincing her father and friends that he's a good guy. Her father's words were, " Julia.. don't you think he's a bit... off?" which was what I was thinking too but it's not for me to decide who she dates.
I just feel so shitty because I know she thoguht that atleast I approved despite her father's disapproval and ppl's disapproving looks. That is what I'm sorry about most.. that I made Julia sad.
In any case, I did get to know him a bit and realized he wasn't such a thoughtless selfish guy but I never really was comfortable and I exaggerated my disapproval of him and it somehow found it's way on paper... or e-paper.. which I MYSELF sent to my friend.
I feel like such an idiot.
But Julia is really cool and she understands how I am and I'm really lucky that she's cool with it now. I think I learned that I need to be more careful about how I express myself and I really should tone down on the melodrama. It sends wrong msgs and if Julia had never confronted me about this, she would have gone on thinking that I hated her bf more than I really did.
So take two things from this:
1.Reserve ur emotions and ur melodrama for not -so-public settings
2. Reread emails ur forward.
tchocky
feel like a heel
