Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon

DAMMIT! This always happens! I get so pissed off at my mom and then I feel so bad getting pissed off at her later... that woman drives me mental!

I talked to Aimee last night. I text msged her cell and congratulated her on graduating teacher's college and told her I'd like to buy her a drink sometime to catch up and celebrate. She logged online shortly after that and we caught up somewhat. She sent me pictures of her sister's wedding and she talked a bit about Kevin, her new bf.. it was really nice.. it wasn't so awkward and she was extremely sweet. I guess I really did miss Aimee.. I don't really know when, how or why we started to drift.. I guess when ur older, u just accept that this happens.. it's nice though that we are able to catch up.

I have to call Maria tonight, she's leaving for the Bahamas and I want to see her one last time before she goes.. she's going to be at Wonderland with Lisa today! I hope it doesn't rain today! I wonder if Lisa wants to come tonight too.. I think I'll ask Jobo to come.. she hasn't seem maria in a bit.. they always ask about each other to me.. yeah I think I'll do that...

Alright, other than that I really don't have much to tell you. My mom is being all sweet and nice to me because I think she feels bad.. that's how it is.. never apologize to me because I always end up talking back nicely.. and that's supposed to mean that I've forgotten about everything.

ugh. It's so weird... my mom is the woman I never want to hurt but end up hurting most and this irony does my head in.

Talk later
tchocky

I'M SO UPSET at my mom right now I'm crying. She's SO ANNOYING SOMETIMES! So the woman decides to open my credit card bill.. her excuse? it's been laying there for so long, she thought that she'd just open it cuz I didn't. HELL FUCKING O?? If I didn't open it for that long then fucking tell me I got something in the mail! I'm home all the fucking time!

Then she saw 942.55 $ Zoom airline oneway ( i don't know why they said one way.. I bought two way tickets.. I should check that out)

So I had to fucking tell her! I wasn't going to lie to her, I was just going to tell her I was going to Paris to see RAdiohead in August when all my bills were paid off and she couldn't do anything about it!

Then she was all lilke, how old are you to be spending all this money to go see a pop band... do you think I would even try to explain Radiohead's relevance to this woman? Oh no.. but I did.. I tried.. but she thought I was fucking crazy. My mother is like.. this woman with a type A++++ personality.. she's never made a late payment ever in her life and she's meticulous about everything.. her motto in life seems to be work 12 hours a day until you develop hypertension and if you're having fun then you must be indulging and therefore you are a bad person. fuck.

Then instead of trying to explain to her that I've been waiting since 2003 to see them on tour again I tried to explain to her about how passionate I am about the music scene in general.. but she just gave me a blank face.. of course.. what does this woman know about passion? She's not done anything for herself in the past 24 damn years.. probablyh never has in her life.. you know? I could have easily asked my dad for the money to pay off this bill but I was determined to find a job and pay it off myself. I don't think she has a right to tell me when I'm right or wrong.. especially when she has no concept of fun or passion...
So she wants me to be perfect like her? Perfect doesn't count for shit when ur life is non-stop tending to ur children and husband and everyone else is having fun except you. She is the single reason I refuse to get married and she thinks I should become more mature and be like her? and then what? want to jump off a bridge?!

I actually asked her, " what do you know about passion?" ... and i won't feel bad about that until after because I'M SO FUCKING PISSED OFF SHE WENT THROUGH MY FUCKING MAIL AGAIN! FUCK! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL MY PARENTS NOT TO OPEN MY LETTERS???

She called me irresponsible and shit.. you know.. I never usually spend money I don't have but I made an exception here.. ok? and if I had the choice I'd do it over and over again.. in fact.. once i'm securely employed in the future, I'd probably buy up EVERY ticket on ebay and travel every fucking where to go see them in concert! It's not her business and it's not her right to tell me what something should be worth to me! You know, I really didn't want to go to Detroit with Di because I knew I'd end up shopping a bit but I made a resolution to myself that anytime my friends asked me to go out, I'd go. So I'm a little more in the hole than I was last time but seriously 900 bucks should be coverable by mid August.. I never asked them for any money! SHIT!

sorry.. i'm getting really upset again.. I think I'm going to end this here

protect your mail
tchocky