I told Lisa I'd write about soca night and here is what I have to say about it:
In the early hours of the night, Lisa and I were getting dressed. She
said it's not even casual.. "ppl wear track suit!" " ppl wear HUGE
clunker runners" " ppl don't even brush their hair.. all you do it mosh
around and get dirty and sweaty"
ugh.. ALREADY unappealing to me.. the ultimate germaphobe.
WE GET THERE.. AND cops are swarming all over the place.. " what's
going on Li?" I was so scared.. I thought something happened.. and she
responds " it's a black jam.. where there is a black jam there will be
a sea of cops" It's so awful but it was true. The night was so young
and everyone came to have fun but there were cops everywhere.. i had
never experienced that before..
cut to the scene when we are standing in line.. most of them are guys
so far and then the first signs of girls show up... ALL OF WHOM ARE
WEARING HIGH ASS LEATHER HEELS, JEWELRY, MINI SKIRT, BELTS AND PERMED
HAIR.. like shit!
I looked literally like I was in pjs.. not only that, but I thought
that this place was going to be so dressed down, I opted to wear full
bottom underwear instead of a thong because.. at a place like this who
is going to care that you can see my underwear line!? right!?! WRONG!
LISA!!! WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME! EVERYONE IS DRESSED UP!
shh. it's ok tchock.. she says... we make fun of these ppl who come in
pumps and then are limping away at the end of the night holding their
shoes.. and she giggles to herself.. so here I am, giggling along,
thinking, yah.. more girls like us will show up soon.. stupid girls...
BUT OH NO! LEMME TELL YOU WE WERE BEING LAUGHED AT BECAUSE EVERY GIRL
THERE WAS DRESSED TO IMPRESS! AAAAAAAAAH! Lisa spotTED ONE GIRL who is
dressed "down" in runner but she was wearing way cute cargo pants..
pants taht I held up to lisa and asked if I should wear and she said "
no wear that tattered pajama bottom you brought instead" ( ok not quite
like that but you get the point).
I WAS SO FLIPPING EMBARASSED!
Ok so here we are inside, standing there.. I feel like a very awkward,
underdressed hobo. Lisa decides that we need to drink.. I DECIDE AS
Then after sitting cuz for the first 4 hours of the soca jam everyone
stands aroudn like it's a high school gym dance, we venture to the
front of the stage where the live performances will take place. I only
know one artist that will be on that night.. Destra. So I'm looking
forward to it.
As we are standing there, Lisa thinks that she's going to teach me this move
the song goes like this:
"cent (stick ur ass to the right) 5 cent ( stick ur ass out the back)
10 cent ( stick ur ass out the left) dolla (pelvic thrust!) ..cent, 5
cent, 10 cent dolla.. cent, 5 cent, 10 cent, dolla... cent, 5 cent, 10
cent, dolla.... DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA!
DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! DOLLA! .. entire room
of pelvic thrusting, nicely dressed ppl. I nearly fainted.
OK! So we are standing there.. and everyone at the front of the stage..
are these gorgeous girls all dressed up.. some in just bikini tops,
once girl tghat looked like beyonce and there I am.. frazzled pony
tail, confused look on my face.. AND THE RADIO SHOW WAS HOSTING THIS
EVENT so video cameras were all up in my face! I tried to hide behind
everyone.. but the cameras were all around the artist and the ppl at
the front ( that's me and lisa) and I couldn't avoid it..
I pictured all these ppl at home watching, laughing at the only asian
girl in a sea of black and indian ppl looking confused and furiously
scrubbing her arms down with her towel whenever someone sweaty touched
her. At one point someone threw water in the air ( or atleast Lisa
assures me it was water) and it lands on my neck and I'm about to have
a freak out because I thought someone's sweat dripped all over me... I
looked as though I would cry and Lisa said.. don't worry it's water)
OH! everyone carries a towel.. but not for practical reasons like for
removing the sweat of other ppl.. no.. they like to dance with it and
whip it and twirl it in the air.. I GOT WHIPPED IN THE FACE BY ABOUT 50
TOWELS THAT NIGHT! Not only that but this girl came and spilled BEER
ALL OVER MY UNDERWEAR-LINE-SHOWING ASS! stupid cow!
although.. Lisa got a big sweaty elbow in her mouth.. YUCK! hahahhaha u shoulda seen her face after.. so disgusted!
At about 1am the first act comes on. The first act was this cute guy, I don't know his name, but then he
picks a girl from the audience to do this dance move with him. What
they do is, put their respective right leg between the other persons
leg.. and then at the sound of the beat proceed to bang into each
others pelvises as hard as they can... there is a certain rhythm to it,
BANG..1..2.. BANG..1..2..BANG 1..2.. then suddenly BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG!... then suddenly! he lifts her legs up over his elbows and
shes in the air and he proceeds to bang really fast! WHAT KIND OF SHOW
IS THIS!? I think I was the only person who blushed... oh man I've
never been to a club like THIS before..
Destra comes on.. she put Janet Jacksons cleavage to shame. Her entire
performance I was so worried for her that her girls would fall out..
Finally the act that Lisa came to see comes on. His name is Maximus...
o m g... before.. the crowd was relatively mild.. well.. in comparison
to what would be happening next.. this dude with huge eyeballs comes on
stage and the entire crowd lose their minds and this entire club
becomes a big sweaty mosh pit.. my feet did not touch the ground, I was
falling all over the place, I felt like elephants were trampling on my
feet, Lisa did her best to hold me and keep me away from the hooligans
but mind you, she was a hooligan herself.. I was crying out for help
but no one can hear me because this music is SO LOUD!
after about 8 songs his set was done, and lisa and I decide to call it
a night.. which was very wise because I could not walk.. despite having
worn astronaut shoes, my toes were BUSTED. I hobbled all the way over
to coat check and then to my car.
I was so happy lisa had fun. I felt like she was so preoccupied by
showing me how to have fun that she didn't really have fun but she did!
so I was happy. i'm finally pulling out of the club when lisa is like "
wait! wait! there is a cop with flashing lights behind you"
i pull over and I'm like, can I help you officer?
This blond lady cop tells me that there was a shooting outside the club
the night before and that they're doing random checks ... (yeah because
Lisa and I LOOK LIKE SUCH GANGSTERS!) she takes my ID and lisa's
ID, goes back
to her car, checks our background and then returns them to us.. have a
good night ladies... THANK GOD! I'm pretty sure she saw that I had no
insurance cuz my dad cut it while I was away at school, but I think she
felt sorry for me and that if my evening ended with a big ass ticket,
I'd probably faint.
So! We chilled at Lisa's for a bit and I drove home at about 5:30 am..
50 towels to the face
26 ppl's sweat wiped off my arms
3 elbows to the head
6 broken toes
2 busted ear drums
1 wet ass
1 inappropriate touching
1 time getting pulled over
and 50 bucks later.....
I had fun :)