Listening to: Ciara Goodies
The other day, I found out a fellow worker went into my blog that I asked her to erase off my history and spread things to other people at the desk. If you read my first blog, you'll find that I was sharing some guesses as to why my friend Ivy might have excluded me in a certain incident that occurred. The msg got twisted somewhere along the way and it was soon said that I was calling my friend Ivy ( also a coworker) some very mean things.
I'm a little annoyed at this. What I wrote was an isolated event that involved a friend. Yes, last time I checked, I was allowed to be a little annoyed at my friend and express my annoyance without people miscontruing my opinions as overall judgement calls. But in this event, my honest opinion at the time was completely twisted and spit out as a venomous, malicious entity. That really pisses me off. Two things about this piss me off. That the girl would go and bring this to where all of us work without a single thought of consideration. Plus, if you're going to read my blog that I asked you to delete, and that would otherwise be posted without my real name being used, don't make it your business to decide who should find out about it. It saddens me to see that there was nothing better to do than potentially harm a friendship.
Perhaps I shouldn't have written my thoughts.. but then what is the purpose of owning a blog if I can't get things off my chest? and is it too much to ask to get things off my chest harmlessly? It's as if the concept of ever being annoyed at your friend without hating her hasn't crossed the thoughts of a few.
In another case, where I believe honesty does pay off, is my relationship with Mani. It's not a normal relationship but it's lovely. This sweetheart of a boy flies from wherever he is stationed in this world ( as a diplomat's son) over to Canada to see lil ol me whenever he has time. And the bonus is, he's really cute. As you can imagine, this is not an easy relationship to maintain. Although I am harsh because I am brutally honest to a fault, I think subsequent events only prove why I should always be honest. My friends say, I'm too mean to boys and that I don't consider their feelings. That is a lie. I consider feelingS sooo MUCH. but I DO NOT hold back my thoughts that would otherwise eat at me and potentially wreck anything nice. So I'm in a bind here people. Which is it? Do you prefer sugarcoated jargon, or the deadly truth. I think many people would be tempted to answer the truth. But I ask you to rethink what you say. For example. Would it really be better to know that a guy/girl you were seeing was having problems.. like ex fantasizing about your sister/brother/best friend or vice versa depending on your sexual orientation? Or would you simply want him/her to walk away from both your lives using another alibi? Or even worse. Would you want to find out that your friend's bf/gf was leaving them because they had feelings for you and thus putting a strain on your relationship with your friend that you had no control over?
Seriously after living 23 years of my life and firmly believing that honesty is the best policy no matter what, I am stumped and would like some feedback.