Mood: calm, pensive
Listening to: goo goo dolls
sometimes i totally get it, life, you know. i rock it crazy style. i'll have a job, go to school, work out at the gym, hang out with my friends, my apartment will be wicked clean, the boy and i will be getting along wonderfully, etc. then there are the other times, like now, where i feel like i am totally lost. it happens suddenly- i'm walking along being bad ass, then wham my life is falling apart and i am somewhere totally different, a crazy world of chaos. anyways, that's me, alice, whose fallen down the rabbit hole, in wonderland...
my parents are getting a divorce- i know it happens alot and often. it isn't that i am really stressed/upset about them not being together becuase i understand it is for the best, but i am upset that they are so different from who they were. my dad is really pulling it together and seems happier, but i can tell he feels shattered. then there is my self-absorbed, well intentioned, but flakey mom who has a boyfriend. my lil bro is having alot of trouble adjusting and i don't know how to help. oh yeah, and for some strange reason the divorce is making all of my family crazy and they now hate me.
then there is me! i had to drop out for the semester becuase i had EBV mono, and i've been having alot of anxiety issues. i had to go to the psych ward the other day. i am in the begining stages of being diagniosed as bi-polar. there is also my social-life, or lack there of. i don't really have any friends. i'm kinda stoic and noir. well i do have friends, but i only like and hang out with a few. i have trouble meeting people. i do have a bf who i've been with since jan. i love him, but i get scared. he is leaving in dec. for the navy and i will miss him alot. our future is very unknown. well duh, it is the future, but still, you know what i mean. so i am basically an un-employed gym rat who reads alot :) more later...
