http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo Thoughts|Fears|Love|Tears .x. unveiling.the.inside .x. en happyemo happyemo Sat, 28 Jan 2006 13:05:57 +0100 daily 1 well yeah havent written in a while so here we go again lol another entry into this e-diary thing... jeez does this make me emo or what!?!?! *cries* lol anyways now thats over...! things are going....well! yes i said it - IM ACTUALLY KINDA HAPPY! :) well my mum is the biggest bitch in the whole wide world lol but its nothing new... just the threats and swearing and stuff as usual.... but with the friends department its kinda going well! me n josh are FRIENDS! finally!!! yes yes yes! thats all we ever wanted to be and now we are and its total yayness so woop woop! however, one of my very very very close mates  is thinking of giving up on her GCSE's so im trying to help... i hope she doesnt, she has so much potential. and shes not a quitter. i look up to her when i feel like giving up, if she gives up, what hope is there for anyone else?! In the boy department..well...its sloooooooooooooooooow lol but its actually kinda fun not having hassles for a while! Ben has his gf so we're... Sat, 28 Jan 2006 13:05:57 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/long.time.no.see/7/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/long.time.no.see/7/ .x. the.world.is.a.cold.place .x. Yeah....it doesn't feel like Christmas yet...I'm trying as hard as I can to get into the spirit of Christmas: I'm singing songs, decorating houses, wearing red, giving out christmas cards - none of it is helping. I've really screwed up...real bad...for something I can't even help. Sunday was a nightmare. I had a sort of an argument with someone i really should'nt be arguing with. Its stupid too - we both want the same outcome - to be happy - we just have different opinions on how to get there. I don't want to let something so 'teen' ruin my christmas holidays. I wana hang out with this person...but I'm not sure if I can now!God...I hope Christmas doesn't suck... On the same kinda subject, I'm getting over it, its not so much the person its me. This whole situation has just left me with no confidence in myself - which is totally unlike me. I guess now I just feel like second best in a lot of people's lives: my mum has her boyfriend, my best friend has hers,... Tue, 13 Dec 2005 17:27:44 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/.x.-tiring.mind-.x./6/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/.x.-tiring.mind-.x./6/ .x.top.of.the.world.x. dont you hate it when you mess things up for yourself. Seems this past week Ive done a lot of that. The first example is my maths exam - i walked out with a healthy F or ungraded....but i guess thats what mocks are for right?! My other exams are going okay though..surprisingly. and i actually understand science for once in my little life! woohoo! However, seems Ive screwed up big time for - get this - NOT being honest! Usually I get myself into bad situations for being brutally honest, but it turns out, in this situation, if Id just been honest about my feelings at the start, I could be enjoying something right now. A major hug and thanks to Kay for being; well...remotely honest, and even though I don't believe some of the stuff she said (and she knows this lol) i still appreciate her reassurance. I just wish I'd been honest and said what i thought at the beginning...maybe now it wouldn't hurt so much. But nevertheless, I've decided to let it pass over my head...what I... Thu, 08 Dec 2005 21:43:23 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/.Regret./5/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/.Regret./5/ .x. smiling secretly .x. Well....today i am extremely happy!! I know - isnt that strange!!! All of a sudden a wave of happiness has come over me and Im feeling fantastic. I had a bit of a rubbish night yesterday, but decided to screw that person and get on with life! Before you say anything - sure i still adore that guy, but meh - what can i do! If you come second, then take home the silver and go for gold next time! A big thnx to Chris for leaving me a cool comment - and josh - thnx as well!!! Be yourself mate - just ignore my stupidity! I am totally getting into christmas atm as well, which i think helps. The house is decorated, i've been writing cards out and listening to good old slade! Can't wait for the christmas spirit to kick in and for everyone to just have a smile on their face!!!! .x. sunshiny smiles to you all .x. Tue, 06 Dec 2005 18:26:10 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/True.To.My.Name/4/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/True.To.My.Name/4/ .x. can you hear the hysteria within .x. well...my life has been smashed into the ground once again, and pretty much in the same week. I guess i've sort of had a brain wave...its kinda weird; i had an amazing day, that ended up really sucking! and to make matters worse...its happened right in front of my mocks, so guess who's gonna fail. me and my mates have decided to become nuns after this weekend lol, guys are a lot of trouble and quite frankly don't treat you as well as they should. Well actually its not that simple...but i really wish it was. How do you just forget about someone that means so much to you? If i do manage to find an answer to that i'll write it down, but right now i can't see it happening very quickly. I sure hope it does though...its just gonna take me some time. .x.  let your heart live on .x.   Mon, 05 Dec 2005 15:43:44 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/hysteria.within/3/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/hysteria.within/3/ . x. hey there .x. well here we go again...another day another entry...I think today i've made a big mistake. Admitting to someone that you could end up falling for them in due course really isnt smart. And whats even worse is when its not just the one person you could fall for.. At school today i had a pretty good day...was just run of the mill laughter and fun, which i adore. You know how some days you just find stupid things funny..and then the joke lasts a life time....those kind of memories are those that i cherish. At the moment i have my friends to thank for pretty much everything, im not gonna mention names, you all know who you are, and you're all stars! ..x..until next time ..x..   Fri, 02 Dec 2005 21:00:18 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/Heartbreak.City/2/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/Heartbreak.City/2/ .x.so this is me.x. right now...im not doing much...sat at the computer, guitar on my left, phone on my right. i had a pretty bad day yesterday, parents sure can put you on a guilt trip can't they, but thankfully i have a lot of mates out there who know how to put a smile on my face and twinkle in my heart - and special mentions go to marie,kay,ben,josh s, josh p,and dave. if for some reason ive forgotten your name im sorry, i send you all my luff - im here for you always. todays been a pretty ok day. ive had a smile on my face pretty much the whole time, and life doesnt seem that bad. my guitar helps lol. today i did something i found really hard. refusing someone you like is terrible..I feel so bad about telling jon no..but my heart is torn in 3 right now, and i cant commit myself while i like others as much as i do. all 3 of you know who you are, and i adore you all. i dont know how you guys are feeling right now....but either way, your all amazing. so this has been my first blog, hope it... Thu, 01 Dec 2005 23:07:33 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/.x.Starting.Point.x./1/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/happyemo/.x.Starting.Point.x./1/