Moonlight Sleeping on a Midnight Lake
Mood: No better than yesterday and the day before - I should be doing other things
Listening to: 'Homeless, homeless, moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake'...
My sister found 'more neighbour wilting stuff' - this one a video clip of Paul Simon and Ladysmith Black Mambazo. It's 'We Are Homeless', if I remember right. My best friend at university hated it - she said it sounded like someone panicking, and it made her panic too.
Currently I'm trying to sort through boxes and files of paper and notepads from my house. It's a boring job and I really don't want to do it - except that I keep finding some strange things. There was a tiny hand-made book with mostly blank white pages in it. The names of countries were written at the top of the pages in my neatest tiniest handwriting. Not all of the pages are blank... there's an old Chinese stamp, and three old Indian stamps... all in very poor condition, and all quite old. I'm not a stamp collector and never really fancied the idea, so I was completely stumped. What WAS this?
Mum is the stamp collector - she took a look and said they had bits missing and are worthless. She must have chucked them away. I said maybe I made it for one of my... ah!! And suddenly a memory flooded into my brain... only it felt more like a realization than a memory. It HURT. I didn't remember it... it all just felt right. Just the sort of strange thing I would have done around the age of 23... I made it for one of my bears' children.
Good grief.
Even worse, I have just this minute found a blank A4 sheet of paper... blank, that is, except for something written at the top in my handwriting.
"Not heard from you for a while. Are you still alive, or have you been overtaken by the Saargataans and made to lose your memory of who you are and who you know?"
I don't remember it at all - and I don't remember who the Saargataans are. Perhaps it was me they caught up with?
Isn't it wierd how you can find older things and look at your own handwriting or work and be utterly stumped as to how and why they happened? I always found it a little disconcerting that I could so completely forget parts of my life...