Rambling

As i was saying, things got nasty. My brother had a breakdown. I had trouble in highschool because i felt self consious and shy about my appearance - more so because of having turners. I even remember writing a story about it in english which i used for an assessment in VCE. It got full marks.

Anyways, my brother has a breakdown, I crash the car a few days later this is all whilst i am studying for my exams in year twelve. My dad and his wife start wanting to stop paying for child support. I find out  four years later that the whole of my dads family were encouraging him to do it. Mum was a wreck and ended up on anti depressants. I wasn't coping and was angry because i got poor exam results in two very important subjects (Chemistry and Literature) the assessments before that had been good....I move on campus to university to get away from things because home life is difficult and i think it might help me concentrate on my studies a bit more. I am also angry at mum for having taken a holiday for two months with her partner whilst i was in year 11. My brother and i didn't get along. I was also jealous because mum had been incredibly supportive of my brother and he had all the quiet time and space he needed to study - nothing was to much, he was smart and expected to do well. At the time i resented the perceived lack of support i got during the same two crucial high school years. I was overall a good student except when it came to maths.

Living on campus i came to decide i didn't want to study nursing. I hadn't had too many friends in highschool and things seemed to be going well socially - i had a 'Group' as opposed to one or two good friends. Things turned sour because i developed a crush on one of the boys, which wasn't reciprocated.

I changed courses after almost having a nasty car accident. People were supportive of the choice, but i was a little upset. My marks were fine. I just didn't want to do it.

I stopped getting along with some of the people i was living with and things really turned sour when i changed lodges the next year. We had a pretty big falling out - they had been ignoring my phone calls and the door when i came to visit. I was incredibly hurt by this, which resulted in me moving home and cutting off all contact with the group.

I lived at home again for about a year and started writing for the uni paper and volunteering and made a good friend there (L), who was doing media studies. It provided me with some social activities to get back into the swing of things as i was feeling incredibly lonely after severing ties with the group of people i had lived with. Moving back home was alright for the most part, although i know there were reservations as things had been pretty tense before this.

I decide to move out again eventually during my last year of university after i hear one of the girls has a spare room. My mum's partner had also moved in the week before i moved out as they were renovating his house, getting ready to move in together once it was finished.

For the most part moving out seems to go well. Again it gave me contact and a network with people my own age. So i was happy. The living arrangement again didn't work out and resulted in me leaving on rather bad terms with the two girls i was living with. (D) one of the girls had arranged for two other people to move in, didn't want to continue living with me and basically didn't know how to tell me. Her best friend moved in a month after i moved out. She had actually wanted to move in at the same time i grabbed the room, so i was a little hurt.