Rambling

> I invite the other teachers to my birthday and there seems to be an
> uncomfortable atmosphere in the air (By) says he is busy with (L). (Ia) says
> he will come, I also invite the staff (St and Mi and Mk). Two of them say
> they will come.
>
> It is during this week that i receieve the health insurance letter, but i
> did not open it at this stage.
> The night of my birthday I meet (e) at the train station and tell her how
> isolated I am feeling.
> She tells me  - "make friends outside, but you don't seem to be able to do
> that".
> We head to the bar (Mk) arrives and we meet another group of people one of
> whom is also having a birthday party.  I go and meet (k) and (kr) who are
> now an item. I take them to the bar. Everybody i invited from my old city is
> there and (M) the new girl and (P) are there, he has also invited some of
> his friends one or two (Ni and Jy) who i have met one night in april when he
> invited EVERYBODY including the other teachers of my company although noone
> came. (M) had a friend (Lu) coming to visit and i ran into her as i was
> going to get something to drink for (P's) waiting for him to arrive. All the
> teachers of my company call him to say they arent coming.
>
> Anyway I detect (m) is slightly angry at me she says "how is work?" I say
> "fine", she gives me a strange look and goes "yeah?".  I have a conversation
> with (Ni) he is going back to America and I say I am enjoying myself and
> tell him my family are planning to visit in August. (M) gives an annoyed
> sigh at this. I go to have a friendly chat with (Kr) and she asks me if the
> other teachers are coming. I tell her that (Ia) said he would come, and that
> reminds me so I call him but get no answer.
>
> We sing Karaoke most of the night after some dart playing. I am sitting next
> to (M) most of the night and singing away and then move seats and I am
> sitting next to (d) who is busy making out with someone. I ask (Kr) to
> choose a song for me. Some of the others join in. We head off soon after.
> (M) glares at me as she walks out.
> (P) and his friends stay at the bar. We go to a third bar which (e) meets us
> at later after not being able to find my apartment.
> I am detecting that (m) is angry at me when i am around (k) - note he is one
> person who was a witness to most of the harrassment and could back up a fair
> bit of the situation. She pulls me up to dance and throws/pushes me at one
> of the bar men, he starts trying to dance quite closely at which she gives
> me a strange look to imply "what are you doing". I back away and go and sit
> down with (k) again.
>
> She also seems annoyed when i talk to (Kr) she asks them both to stay in her
> apartment that night and glares at me. We have left (e) behind as she wants
> to stay and talk to the bar owners. I feel terrible and we stop on the way
> back to call her. (M) keeps walking but seems angry. We get back to the
> apartment eventually and (m) is still up we also see (p) and a friend of
> his. (Kr) needs to go to the toilet so we walk past and head to my apartment
> and i catch another evil look from (m) as they head into my place. I say
> something quietly to (k) while (kr) is in the toilet because i feel like
> something is up "I feel like a scapegoat" I say, but you were there "you saw
> most of it" to which he goes "i know....dont worry everything is
> fine....there's no problem, you're birthday was a good night".
> We go for breakfast after getting dressed. (d) has met us by then and we are
> to bring (m) back some McDonalds i kind of laugh at her and giver her a look
> meaning "you're going to have to open the door". I see (d) off at the train
> station after telling her about things. I bring up the feelings of isolation
> (j) is allowed to get on with things why can't i....it's too hard to get
> away from when the whole bloody new office knows about it and it just
> seems to keep being brought up". She encourages me to quit - give two weeks
> notice and see how you feel".
>
> The environment at work is hostile, at least i feel like it is. I arrive and
> (Ia) doesn't even apologise for not coming to the birthday party.  This is a
> tuesday and the area management is also down. I know something is up as
> none of the teachers are talking to me and the boss of my culture centre
> comes and asks if everything is ok. i ask to have a coffee with (m), she is
> hesitant at first but I give her a serious look as if to say "it's what you
> want" to which she nods.
>
> We sit down and have coffee and I say to her
> "at the risk of exacerbating things even further" to which she shakes her
> head, but i think she is lying. I continue " I am not sure exactly what is
> going on but I have actually had a word to (ma) about whats going on here
> and he admitted the yuki told the staff and that the teachers were told
> about my old city....I can't help the fact that people know... i have a
> reputation to live down i have to accept that". She replies "...you have
> noooooo reputation like THAT, let me tell you".  I continue and say "I feel
> like people are reacting to everything i do, it's little things like asking
> the date..I know people here know". She lies to me and says "no, the
> teachers finding out would be unprofessional of me". She continues " i don't
> talk to Na about it" i know this is a lie from the whole "crazy" and "stop
> it Na" incident and the dinner with (Yr) that she does and i haven't been
> theone who did it.
> We talk about who knows an she says " I know, management knows, and the
> people in the meeting at (.....) know, (jo) knows because you told us
> that night remember?" I say "yes". I say I don't want everybody knowing and
> I don't want to talk about what happened anymore" and she says "tell me the
> whole story..i only now some...it was totally like harrassment right". I say
> "it's a separate issue and i want it dead as much as you do. I am not
> running around trying to get everyone to quit ot turn the whole world
> against (j)". "i know" she says and smiles.
> I also add "I'm not an evil person...you have been panicking around me since
> (ne) observed me" she denies this, but i can tell i am right. She couldn't
> make eye contact with me that day. I say the other teachers seem worried"and
> she says "that you might use things against them". and i also add "I am
> sorry if I have upset you somehow, its not been intentional, but some of it
> has been to bait or test to see if you are actually worried about the email,
> I have no intention of suing or anything of the sort...". she says "i know"
> and smiles. Her mother had been worried about this
> when i was in sendai for the kids training so i knew it was partly true,
> they were trying to keep me happy, but i probably wasn't getting renewed.
> But i still wanted to know what was going on.
> She cuts me off and changes the topic.
>
> Instinct tells me that from what happened to (Br) that my birthday party no
> show by the teachers wasn't a coincidence.  I say to her "not everything i
> am doing is deliberate...but i think too many people know and the gossip is
> going around in circles". She tells me to relax and the conversation changes
> to more menial things. She tries to reassure me that nobody knows, which i
> know is a lie by the way they react simply to words like christmas or movie.
> I head back for class. (Ia) looks at me and gives me a disappointed 'hi'. I
> say nothing.
>
> The next day I call headquarters because i know (m) is lying to me, but i cant call her mother because its the bosses daughter i am having a problem with
> and i am tired of trying to get a straight answer out of her when i do ask
> her. I speak to (Ne - who's name is on the email) and tell him "look i don't
> know what you are hearing, but if you think i am running around threatening
> to quit again, it's not actually true I have never said anything of the
> sort. I feel like everything I am doing is being construed against me" to
> which he says there's no problem in the classroom"  He also adds "perhaps
> the other teachers are set in there ways" I simply go "sure", and he adds
> "you're happy right?" I reply with a terse "yes".
>
> I get back that evening and things have changed. The atmosphere is a bit
> better the staff seem pleased for me. The teachers seem ok, but things are a
> little awkward.
>
> We have a teachers meeting the following day and the tension between (m) and
> myself is quite obvious and its is obvious people in the room know about our
> discussions. Especially when the words pro development day and the name (ne)
> comes up as he is moving back home in August. I had lost a student (Iz)
> which i contribute to the fact that i was privvy to the knowledge she was
> sleeping with (Ia) - this is because (Br) told me while we were at the
> restaurant.
> Later they are joking "when is "Br" going to leave the office" - perhaps
> hinting at the fact that because i knew the same information i was disliked
> just as much.
> I leave for my culture centre shortly afterwards.
>
> That weekend I have a new lesson to teach I arrive for the first time in a
> while at 10.20 am
> and (Ia) arrives after me. He seems surprised to see me there and i notice
> him look at my keys strangely.
> Later that day I have a lesson to teach which the student is supposed to
> pick me up for. (Ia) had said he would walk me down. I ask (mh) where to go
> to meet the car and she tells me she doesn't know. this to me now seems a
> lie - she works there every saturday, she must know. I ask (Ia) as he walks
> out of a classroom and he gives me a long speel  mentioning an alley way he
> says it could be a mazda or it could be a station wagon. I go outside
> looking for the car and can't find it. I go back up twice and tell (Mh) that
> i can't find the car. (Ia) points his head out and says "he's right there
> and shows me the mazda" I apologise a few times feeling very frustrated at
> the tension that has been going on with all the teachers and he says "it's
> your problem with (mh), take it up with her.
> (mh) is on the phone to (st and management) I go back down the car has gone,
> so i come back up and (Ia) says "right in front of your face and you
> couldn't even see it, he's driven off". I am getting extremely upset by this
> I apologise and he says "don't get me involved in whats going on".
> I go downstairs looking again. I see the car driving off again and run after
> it and finally catch up to the car. My student from my last class had been
> there watching all of this commotion.
> Neither (Ia or Mh) actually told me to simply wait downstairs which is where
> the car always waits. They were being deliberately unhelpful. "i don't know"
> and "oh its.............".
>
> I come back from the lesson and (O - the manager of my culture centre) is
> there. I burst into tears and he and (mh) take me into another room. I have
> a lesson starting at 3. The student and her mother saw me crying just before
> i went to a separate room. I am crying a lot and (Ia) comes and talks to me.
> I have a go at him and say " i can't win, damned if i do and damned if i
> don't ", he says "can you teach a lesson? that's all that matters". and I
> say "the only way for you to prove I am not mouthing off would be to ask the
> students and people themselves...I'm sorry i went out with Br (because to me
> that seemed to be what this was about, i was getting the same treatment and
> isolation as him)".  In response (Ia) replies "i don't know what you are
> talking about".  I knew he was lying here because he had admitted it to me
> the saturday after the hanami party as i have noted.
> I continue that "if this is about (kr) she rang me, not the other way
> around". I had kind of twigged something was up here because the office
> manager gave me a funny look when i walked home alone with the new chick but
> again he denied knowledge. He went to teach his class I cried for a few more
> minutes went to teach and still burst into tears in front of the student but
> progressed through the lesson.
>
> That weekend (e) came down and I told her about the fight I had with (Ia)
> and crying in front of the students and she basically told me "you're
> leaving - write out the resignation tomorrow". I agreed. There was no point
> if i was crying in front of students. So i did this the following day.
>
> That Tuesday i went to work and asked the staff for a fax number to the head
> office. I had printed out two originals. I kept one and left the
> faxed copy on (Ms) desk. (Mh) came running in minutes later with my health
> insurance note saying it would take about two weeks. I gave the staff a look
> as if to say - don't tell me you weren't prepared for this already" and the
> staff manager nodded".
>
> Things basically got worse after that. I got no response or acknowledgement
> about the resignation whatsoever but i could tell they were pissed about it.
> They didn't like being made to look like fools and basically told me so.
> However i did not understand the problem when everyone had already been told
> i was leaving by (M). I was angry however because the words "I quit" had
> never actually come out of my mouth and they had nothing in writing until
> this day.
>  Sortly after this i was accused of throwing out a teachers gas bill, which if i did do i have no recollection of - the mail box had no lock it could have been anybody.

> It was unfortunate that the new teachers welcome party was coming up as
> well. The teachers managed to get there own back orchestrated a little by
> (S) in order to cover up for the new teacher who had twigged something
> pretty awful was going on from the minute she arrived.
> I arrive back from my day at the culture centre and (Ia) and (By) and (M)
> walk in angry at me. I am unsure why as i have not been in the office all
> day. (Ia) says hello to (Ba) but not to me. I am reading a book
> (Ia) almost drops his books and i ask if he is ok to which he gives me an
> angry (you bitch) look.
>
> The next day i have a sneaking suspicion crosses my mind that they have made
> 2nd harrassment claim to cover things up. (By) walks in and aks me about his
> tatoo "was he gentle" to which i smile and make a connection
> to what happened in my old city, i had complained "it's in the office as well".
> (Ia) arrives and is angry at me (By) looks at us both and gives me an angry
> look and I look at him 'whats going on?'.
> They start talking and i think well if i have done nothing wrong at i catch
> (Ia) out when i talk to him about australia and give him a questioning look.
> He isn't angry at me because he responds and then gets look of being found
> out and then he and (By) look at each other. I turn away later that night i
> get back in the office and they are talking to me normally but oviously
> feeling guilty about something and (By) even gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> I can also tell by the fact the new chick seems angry at me and they will
> not talk to me in front of her or if (M) is around.  You would have to be in
> the office to understand how i mean this.
>
> By is going to the city where headqurters is the night of the farewell party which i also connect
> to reversing the gossip chain of who i told in headquarters branch about what happened -
> (By) is friends with (mr) so it is likely he has told him.
> I walk into the office that evening and (Ia) is gloating when he looks at me
> and so is (M). (By) gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> Again I am only suspicious because of indirect comments and peoples
> reactions and knowing the politics i know i have stirred up trouble by not
> dealing with (m) directly anymore.
> But (P) in my apartment building tells me i am right.
>
> At the welcome party i am sat next to three students who are supposed to
> have complained - yet they bought me birthday presents and signed up again
> and hug me at the end of the night. One of them is sleeping with (Ia). I am
> also sitting next to (Ia) and he and (Na) wink at each other as they sit
> down and then look at me. So i know something is going on. (Ia) moves seats
> just before the end of the night.
>
> We leave and go to (p's) birthday party afterwards. I leave the party about
> 1 i think. I hear the next morning (By) showed up shortly after i left.
> I ring the boss after the morning after the welcome party and she will not
> let me come to headquarters to meet her face to face.
> Things have simply gotten very nasty since the resignation and my instincts
> tell me they are making up a 2nd claim.
> (m) starts joking in front of the new chick about how (By) is funny when he
> drinks - he does "hey baby" to everyone. I mention "i have never seen him
> drunk, he's never done that to me" she gives me a smirk and the new chick
> looks at me strangely. Later at lunch (m) says i am the running joke, so i am pretty sure it is what they have done and by now feeling pretty disgusted that they would make a joke of the first office.
>
> Teachers find out i am seeing a counsellor which creates more panick - my
> medical certificate says the words emotionally overwraught. From here things
> get worse.
> They definitely think i am up to something and from the way they are taking
> copies of everything and the incidences with the health insurance i now
> think something strange has happened. They are defintley worried
>
> I go to my old city  and tell them i think something is up. It has obviously
> reached back to my old city
> because (kr) my replacement has heard. She is friends with the boss (Ss) son
> and in contact with (m).
>
> Who is checking up on me to see if i am in my new city or not quite regularly.
> Even my old boss sounds relieved when i tell him i am in mynew city.
> Well if going to myold city was a problem then why did no one say anything.
> Hoever it is the implication i am receiving.
>
> My boss is down and seems to be hesitant to want to talk with me. But she
> sits down gives me a gloating look and says teasingly and i MEAN this "it's
> a completely different staff....". So i know the rehash/ running joke is
> true.
> I say the wrong thing about laying all the cards on the table - my intention
> was to get her to be honest because i know people havent been and i dont
> really understand what happened. She sees my anti depresents on the table
> and leaves after we exchange some harsh words. She tell me she moved me to
> give me a chance, which i dont believe and aks why i talked about it in my new office -
> i didn't and the only person who knows this for sure is me, the students and
> the other teachers themselves but they havent directly admitted it, but
> since my old boss has already told me, I am reminded of his words "you've
> walked into two unfortunate situations....." . I tell the boss that i think
> it is sick if she is making what happened in the first office a joke. "i
> tell her, if you honestly think being given a choice between punching and
> having your crutch grabbed is funny..." and she goes yeah it's hysterical.
> Shortly after this she leaves.
> At the very least it is bullying because i am being told by (M) to use
> different stairwells to avoid running into the new chick.
> (S) rings me while i am having breakfast about the new tenant. The landlords
> name comes up and as i mentioned before, she comes in speaking only japanese
> until the next day when she speaks english well enough to handle the water
> bill payment and wish me a nice flight at the least. (C) from shirakawa also
> comes up to check on things while the tenant is there, she was supposed to
> pick me up the day i arrived and didn't.
> Something doesnt add up - the wild goose chase for the car 'but it was right
> in front of you' - neither of them were going to help me, (Ia) not coming to
> my birthday party and the fact he was laughing at me when i started arriving
> at 10.30 again. I honestly feel like they are finding excuses to get me into
> trouble and since they have influence with the boss, they can say whatever
> they want. No one ever sat down and to tell me. If i was being fired for bad
> teaching they never sat down and told me this. Things were just nasty.
> The day I resigned (M) and (Na) took the new chick downstairs and told her
> everything about me and what happened in  my old city. I can only tell this from
> the fact that when the topic of movies (something happened with the boys at
> the movies remember) came up later that day in the office she gave me a
> sympathetic look and she actually texted (P) to check up on me.
> It's like the management is simply panicked about what i could say and
> trying to beat me to it instead of leaving it around. Little things like
> saying 'i forget' seemed to make people react with a gulity conscience.
>
> I have finally collected my last pay and am away from it, but it has been a
> difficult seven months.  But I am suspicious about a lot of things. I am
> also angry that i wasnt at least given a chance to be moved away from the
> fact everyone knew about the harrassment at the very least. Every time i
> tried dealing with the bosses daughter she wasnt honest with me - i put this
> down to her name being on the email.
>
> I am sorry it is such a long account, but to me little things dont add up -
> being told i could only apply for  3 months of guitar lessons, not putting
> the water bill in my name. The fact the staff were busy doing something
> dodgy with the health insurance while i was off for being emotionally
> overwraught. It at the very least was simply a situation where i would not
> have been able to do anything right. My conversations with my old boss who
> even acknowledged when i rang to say goodbye "it would have been simpler if
> you'd gone back to australia......i gave you some bad advice last time you
> were down (which was golden week)".
>
> To me it feels a little planned - she wasn't harrassed, she was moved to two
> offices and she still didnt work out. Well its a little difficult when the
> other teachers have barely had a conversation with me and things have been
> this hostile. Not all of this seems a coincidence - getting in trouble for
> arriving 'late' when it is the same thing that happened to the office staff. I was told it was ok.