family frustrations
arghhhhhhhhhh.
yeah pretty upset after lunch with dad, but he wants to have fathers day with him me and my brother. You know what, even my brother thinks i am the one making things difficult with dad. I dunno. maybe i am. I am sick of feeling picked on by my family and getting so bloody frustrating because they never understand my point of view or it is offensive. I love my dad and i love my brother. I am sick to death of him being a bloody prick. I am the way i am because i get sick of trying to talk to him and not getting a straight answer. I know i have said this a hundred times before, but bloody hell. I am just so tired of the hostility. you kow i have done my best with them. If my brother thinks i am being harsh on dad there is not much i can do about it. I get sick of making the effort and never feeling like i can do anything right. Why should dad and his wife be taking it out on me - i am choosy about who i live with am i, no mum fucking offered. He didn't. If they had gotten the wrong idea about the email they should have taken it up with her. I wish to god i had not even bothered saying anything and just left it alone, because things with dad are really not good despite my efforts. i just get sick of nothing ever being simple with him and his wife.
Seems like no one wants to chat on msn with me. God i can't wait to start working and get away from sitting at this computer bored stupid with nothing better to do than email people. I am sick of not beng able to do anything right. I offended mum and tom more than i meant to and she doesn't want to believe i don't have a problem with men, then there is not much i can do except actually pick up and bring some home.......for god sake i get sick ofnot being bale to do anything right. It is suffocating and frustrating at the same time because the whole issue with my brother has had SUCH an effect on the family, and she bit my head off before even bloody understanding me for fuck sake. Anyway, bed time i suppose so goodnight and hopefully it is a while between entries - that is usually a good sign for me.
