Rambling

rest of this week has been fairly normal i suppose. not really anything eventful. have a few plans on the weekend and tomorrow night, but other than that am a little bored. Lunch with Dad tomorrow. Should be ok. Looking at my pics and wish I was in Noumea again partly, but am also glad to be in Melbourne again. Dont recall if i wrote or not but I am considering moving overseas if possible though work. Would be unreal if I could. We havea couple of Kiwis that have transferred over here so seems like it could be an option. I would say it is performance based though so probably will need to wait until my yearly review. Give myself time though. Got a mail from (K) he is going to marry (K) my replacement at the job in Japan. I arrived home and found this message ENGAGED. they sound pretty serious which is nice. Part of me is a little jealous still and hurt angry cheated that the job didnt work out. I feel like it didnt get a chance and now i dont have the energy or motivation to try again somewhere else. I couldnt take a nother failure but i will always feel uncertain if it could have been different and gone well in the teaching profession. I dont know if i have the personality for it though. At least not in Japan obviously anyways. I just wish it hadn't been the case, it is still hurtful to think about and i still feel resentful about the lost opportunity. I can't pin it all on (j) perhaps i need to accept that, but......far out. If i move this time, i have no idea what i would do with my stuff. storage again perhaps........Would it really be a bad thing if i tried again somewhere else for a while. There really isnt much keeping me here. I like the stability of what i am doing an if ANZ could present the chance i would take it but is it a bad thing if i looked at teaching again somewhere else? I guess i need to ask myself if i am genuinely motivated for the experience. I dont feel i would want to live in asia again. I need to establish a career path i am not getting younger i cant just keep shunting around in entry level stuff forever. It may not be my dream job but perhaps i need to stick with ANZ for a bit and see if an opportunity presents. If i bring it up nicely enough with management as to what i need tp do/improve on etc......anyways, enough for now. Too much work talk. need to stop that. Learn from the past.