Tired of being Tired
Thankyou for smoking is an awesome movie, the lobbyist dude is hillariously brilliant and a bastard at the same time but you cant help liking the character. He may be spining bullshit, but the bullshit makes sense.....
Anyway, that is not really what I was wanting to post about. No, at 11pm at night I was wantint to post about being exhausted. I am at a stage where I dunno if it is the celiac, my roster, depression or a mixture of all of these things or none and maybe I have chronic fatigue or something.....maybe I should see a doctor about it....perhaps the main reason is dietry and a lack of exercise, although I went to the Gym today for 40 mins on the tredmil. Was also going to get a pool schedule, but they didn't have any printed to take away. I just know I am getting tired of being tired all the time. It perhaps still annoys (K) but if she brings it up I am going to let her have it. So what if i dont fucking want to go out til 4am waisting money getting on alcohol pretending to have a good time while I get drink spilt on me and elbowed in the face and am supposed to act like its all great bloody fun.
She can get very annoying because its like all she wants is someone who she can drag around to do whatever the fuck she wants and wo betide them if they want to do something else.
I am still really hurt by her calling me a freak after everythng I suppose, it just really doesnt make me feel as though she is very sympathetic with what I have been through.
Sorry, this wasn't meant to be a slagging bith fest post either. I just am tired of being tired all the time. And I am fed up with my laptop bugging all the time as well.
The stupid thing is, if I try go to sleep I will lay there for ages trying and will toss and turn. If I have my period then I will be in pain with cramps and uncomfortable and other nights I will be thinking about work or something or watching tv and just not be able to sleep. Perhaps it is too much caffeine I dunno. But I have decided regular hours may help the situation slightly.
If I get the job I am going for on Thurs, that will be a positive. But do I wanna up and leave it if I end up liking it, I will be there a year or so if I get it, so that will mean a year where I am now and then this job and then a stint OS again....I guess I can then cut some of my interim call centre jobs off my resume and I will then have Coles, Admin, Call Centre, Japan, Japan, current job and the new job if I get it. I have cut two call centre jobs out of the mix which i worked at in between trips to Japan, maybe it doesnt look so bad The first three where whilst I was in highschool and uni anyways. I am 27 though and still doing entry level stuff and part of that is frustrating, but the other part of me realises its not so bad because I took things maybe too seriously whilst in Japan and let it spoil other elements of that experience.
On the other hand, a new job would mean I don't constantly compare to the whole harrassment thing, because I do at times find myself thinking, now this time in my last job I was...certin dates and just little reminders that jolt the brain. Maybe that would ease a little because if I move on then I would be thinking about the job I am in now instead of the awful time in Japan that happened.
Wow my mind is wandering a fair bit. All I intended initially was a quick gripe about being bloody tired and not being able to sleep.
I have done a lot of travel and I am perhaps not as impatient about setting off as (K) who is not going in April/May next year instead of Jan 2008/Dec07.
Well anyways it's time for me to stop posting and at least try get some sleep......
