Rambling

Mar 22, 2011 at 11:15 o\clock

My Brain Hurts

Title says it all. I am thinking too much.  Thinking too much about my ex boss, thinking too much about getting away from my job - the department is so understaffed it is awful, things just aren't being done on time. I am too anxious to hear back from my interviews....had another one today, see how I go - they have three rounds soooooo not expecting too much from that one. I guess I am just sucking at selling my skills at the moment or being too desperate and applying for the wrong stuff. 

Drinks after work on Friday....to say goodbye to the head of department that got retrenched....might go for a couple, will be something to do and beats sitting at home alone. I don't go out much in Sydney at all. That's the other problem, I am still lonely. The guy I work with is from Melbourne as well and we both make the same comment about how unfriendly this city can be and how rude and cliquey people are at work. So at least someone is on my wavelength. He is pretty much the only one I am really close to there in the whole department. We both find the other lady in the team a handful at times and are actually enjoying her being away. We are both glad the boss has gone and found him difficult and rude. 

Anyway, not a lot else to say tonight. I am just feeling really frustrated and feeling stuck I guess. I waited at a flight centre to check out trips overseas....so I am getting close to just simply handing in the resignation. But I know mum will kill me if I do. I have been job hunting since October with a bit of a break over Christmas....and still no luck. Haven't heard back about the internal role yet. Wish they would hurry up. If I don't get it that is going to make me really upset though cos it will be number 4 unlucky. Embarrasing.  I don't understand why I am finding things so hard. I loved being at the bank when I was in Melbourne and I felt like what I did was valued and important and I felt included and liked. I feel absolutely none of those things here where I am working now. I started this job really enthusiastic and excited and my treatment has just left me totally discouraged, deflated and like I am worthless and am stupid. We have another team member going part time soon which means I will basically be alone in the afternoons to over the phones which I am sooo not happy about. I seriously hope I find somethingh else before then. The other worry is that that back up person is looking for a new job so my team will have virtually no one and I will be carrying things. I am worried. 

Sorry I guess I am just quite stressed about work at the moment and dealing with narky pissed off planners on the phone  and then rude people all day doesn't help either. 

Alright that's me for tonight. This month has gone really quickly. My choir performance will be soon. YAY. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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