Be yourself and be happy ne.
Had dinner at a japanese restaurant calld 'tomodachi' which is japanese for 'friend'. Am really enjoying having my own place and space. feel like i have my independence and integrity. Funny how much more i am remembering now about what happend with (t and j). The funny thing was, i wrestled with making that decision to leave. I did not want to come home. No being in another country was not a complete horrible experience I wouldnt have wanted to go back the 2nd time. I just couldnt teach. None of my family ever talk about half the stuff i have been through i think maybe it makes them feel to guilt, but they shouldnt I am not angry that my brother needed extra attention for god sake, they are treating me as if i am. I need to be firm and confident in my opinions and i wont be so easily intimidated i guess. I dunno
Anyway, on a brighter note. Work sems to be going ok. I have changed departments as i may have already mentioned, but yeah. It seems realy cool. Am donating blood again. Cristmas is coming up and I think maybe i need to ge into the giving spirit an appeciate meeting new people at the moment and that although my family may be a little testing at times, they are all i have and i know they love me in their own funny ways. Corny as that may sound. I really want to start being able to deal with th simple things in life and not have all this other stuff. It has been crises after crises for this family and its enough. PEACE. Don't really feel depressed. I should be happy. I have my own place, a good job. Am meeting some new people. Things are pretty good.
Read a couple of entries in my guest book and stuff too and wow. I really do sound pretty nuts at the moment i guess. Maybe not, maybe just weary. But I do actually feel confident things will improve.
