Rambling

Last night wasn't as bad as I built it up to be. Things seem to be calming down. Maybe not perfect with mum yet but I am getting along much better with my brother and (t).

Did not let mum put words in my mouth about not getting a phone call for dinner. It was by all means a pleasant night. Things seem to be getting easier which is good.

All the 'noise' or confusion seems to be subsiding. I am not a punching bag for the rest of the families problems and I need to look after my feelings and needs. If i don't like the way I get treated. For example - how would dad's wife like it if i sat there and constantly niggled at her about her bad back, the fact she hates his family (she ignored my uncle and aunty when they came to the door as well and never sees any of his family or speaks to them) and all her problems and yet she has the nerve to one second pick on me for being frieked out about going to a shrink, crashing a car and not having kids, laugh at me for almost being raped and then the next minute expects me to help her choose a fucking mobile phone. FUCK she is a bitch and my father not only told me i was a nut when i pointed this out, he clapped her when she was giving me the fucking grand tour of the bloody house which I have seen several times previously. AND I am the only one with the problem. OK then. Am I not alowed to be angry about that and then my father will not hear a word of it because she is his darling wife. ARGHHHH.

Sorry, it just infuriates me every time I think of it. Interesting thing is she wonders why people just ignore her - hmmm maybe it's because you are a fucking rude bitch. I am not talking much because I am sick of being insulted by her. What I am finding strange is how I have never noticed it to this extent before.

I have the next two days off (well, doing overtime tomorrow for four hours but...) which I am looking forward to. Again, sorry not a more pleasant entry.