Rambling

Jul 8, 2012 at 12:12 o\clock

Thinking Thinking Thinking

 I keep thinking of the things they said to me and what happened. Can't believe I put up with it for so long.....how did I feel safe and scared at the same time. 

"men like to dominate"

"men like innocence.......she has something she wants to keep and he wants to take it.....if she is innocent OMG he wants her"

"suck it"

"I'm gunna have to keep asking cos you're next"

"do you want to go home and f.>**"

"do you want to f** j?"

"do you swallow?"

"how often do you diddle yourself?"

"you do know I don't like it"

"are you a good girl or a bad girl?"

"can I touch your t**ts?"

" I'm gunna ask you a question....if..(m)..got his d.** out and put it in your face would you suck it?"

 "j said he's going to f*** your cookie, how do you feel about that?"

"punch me"...."I'm gunnna go like this (hands move towards my cructch) and I'm not gunna stop until you punch me

"I want to go there"

"Am I going to get to kiss you...ever?"

"dingo"

"(y) you look good on your knees"

"Oh I wanna f** (a)"

"I'm d....k...g his wife"

- offering me a choice between his student or me as a booty call

- trying to grope me.

- "who do you want jumping your bones right now"

"do something sexual"

- asking the office staff to go and f** in the toilets

-  me "it's not really going to stop is it"....... (t)"nope"

- nearly burning me with a cigarette lighter. 

- urinating on the bosses jacket

- trying to grope me in the back of the taxi

- telling me they would make the risk game a stripping game and that they bet I would be down to my panties. 

- Having a bet going beteween then as to which one I would end up sleeping with. 

- talking about their conquests in the office - in detail  "Oh oh I like gaijin oh god"..."I had sex with two women this weekend"...."I'm screwing a 32 year old at the moment"....."I had great sex last night"..."when are we getting married"...."she left a toothbrush......"have you ever been caught out cheating during or just after?"...."yep both". 

- taking my phone, enjoying making me uncomfortable and messing with me.

"grab my nuts".... "anytime you wanna grab my nuts, that's ok by me".

- other little things to try gauge my interest. Little private conversations about their target(s).

- not understanding I had celiac and that I couldn't eat certain foods. 

I just see a really cruel person who knew he was doing something awful, knew I was shy and that it would upset mel and didn't care.  It is 7 years ago now and I still think about it and what happened - it has had an effect on me. I haven't covered things in great detail but I do remember feeling frightened of them especially the night after playing risk and the night up at the school with (t) and (j) just before the 'hook up' happened. Feeling totally helpless in the taxi on the way to the movies. Being upset after the christmas party. 

On other notes, one more week left of work and then two more before I move back home again. 

Yay. Should be good. I am looking forward to it. My neighbour has been renovating the bathroom this weekend and I have a headache from the noise.