Rambling

May 27, 2012 at 09:41 o\clock

Moving soon.....again.

Well,

Been a while since I updated. I made the decision a few months ago to move back to my home city. Just too lonely here. Had a drinks night after work and my old boss was there. The one I thought I fancied. Didn't really end up speaking beyond hi and bye. I got sick of people being really clicky and felt uncomfortable so I left pretty quickly after one drink. I think I wrote that he agreed to a lunch and then didn't reply ever again after I said yes. Well he ended up pretty much doing that to me twice so I was in no mood to make much of an effort to get his attention, I just ignored him. Cried going home and had a shit weekend feeling sorry for myself. Made the decision on the Monday when I got back to work that I had had enough. 

In happier news I performed with the choir again and it was so much fun. Such a great atmosphere when the orchestra and opera australia and the choir are all together. I will miss it. 

No man on the scene. Nothing new there. I am really at the point I have resigned myself to it just not happening for me. I'm 33 now. Sometimes I find it hard not to be upset that I missed the excitement of a boy asking you to the school dance, first proper kiss, first dates. Would be nice to find that special someone who actually wants to be with me and for once not do things all by my bloody self. I don't know what it's like not to be single. I try to stop dwelling on it though because it's too depressing. 

Perhaps when I have my own place - hopefully soon. I might look at foster parenting or something. Not like I can have my own kids anyway due to the turners syndrome.

In other news,  I have been home sick all week and most of the weekend. So the TV has had a good workout. I also started thinking heaps about T and J and what happened in Yonezawa. I checked out the facebook page dedicated to J (he died in a climbing accident while I was in Canada). Just wish things had been different. He was an a&*(L* to me, but there were moments I really felt like I could talk to him. In a funny way I did like him. I don't think he changed much though. He was still on and off with this girl he grew up with and shagging anything in a skirt. He did move to Nigata so I think they must have got a bit more serious. She must not have found out about the four he was banging at the same time as her when I was around. Or else she didn't care. I guess I keeo trying to make peace and find some good in him. Hard when he just did not care how upset and hurt I was. The stuff in Japan happened like 7 years ago and he died 5 years ago. I still think about it and I still end up crying out of frustration when I remember that time. Because I remember feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable and scared but I also remember funny times. It messes with my head. 

I guess having so much time to myself has made my brain a little overactive. 

Glad I am pretty much over my cold now. 

Not long til I quit my job. Probably 3 weeks or so. The tricky thing is my boss will be on annual leave so I am not sure how much notice to give. They will need to replace me, but I only have to give 2 weeks. She wont be around to do interviews for new team member. 

Other than that, I go in to hospital soon for my celiac. Must have been eating gluten unkowingly because I had some bad blood teast results. 

Anyways that is probably all for now. Oh I have been off facebook for three months now. Go me.