Well as everyone knows we just had the royal wedding. The bride looked beautiful. I enjoyed watching it on TV. The dress was just stunning. But anyways enough about that - it's all over the news as it is.
I have had an extended Easter Break which has been nice. Finished my assignment a few days ago - hopefully it passes. Don't know if I am going to do the 3rd subject I just want to get away from where I am. To make matters worse the older lady in the team stopped talking to me and the other guy in the team. I am just so sick of it. She was really mad at something he said and from this I gather she also felt obliged to take it out on me as well. He has been on holidays so I have been there for a week and a half of the silent treatment which sucked. I printed out and signed my resignation letter that week. Went to see a counsellor as well because I was just at a really low point. It didn't help much because she got really clinical as well "what tools did so and so give you for these situations blah blah" which I don't like that approach because it feels accusatory.
Had a meeting with the boss which was actually good. He put the performance review into perspective. The company is harsh across the board. Only 10 percent of people got a better rating which is about three people. So what I got is normal. Was nice not feeling like shit for once and actually being able to talk about something that is bothering me. He is aware the lady is not talking to either of us because the guy in the team said something before he went away on holidays. After that treatment from her I don't feel like talking to her anymore myself. From what I am hearing it is all stuff she is pissed off about with the guy in the team so I don't get it. She's just a bitch.
I am still searching for a new job.
You know I really just don't feel like I have succeeded at anything. I struggled through school, was terribly self conscious as a teen, I have not succeeded at teaching and not getting anywhere in finance. I have never had a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I am not getting any younger and it is depressing me. I am not really making any friends in ths city either. What is wrong with me. Am I just shockingly unlucky or plain stupid. I just feel really worthless at times and it is an awful feeling and really hard to shake.
The choir performance is ina couple of weeks and my birthday is next week.