Rambling

Feb 25, 2011 at 02:38 o\clock

Job Hunting

 

Well we found out on Monday that my boss is leaving. I also forgot to update that what I wrote about earlier and him having a girlfriend was not true, it was someone else being bitched about at work in that instance.....

I am still job hunting, and I guess kind of jealous he has found something before me. He did it because he was not feeling secure he would have a job still with the re-structure that is happening. It kind of explains his rude behaviour after christmas (he did not barely even acknowledge us or even bother with the ususal niceties of how were your holidays etc and was in a shit mood that whole week). 

I also found out at the Christmas party that he is actually gay which kind of explains some of his behaviour/mannerisms as well. 

I am feeling really emotional and I am not sure why, because this is a person I have just had real trouble clicking with. All the rumours at work (my predecessor leaving becuause of him, my other team mate going to HR etc and complaining at least 4 times that I know of) and another team member leaving because of him and then hearing he threatened her with termination despite the fact she resigned.  I have had my issues with him because he failed me on something and let it stay despite him not being able to remember the call well enough to explain to me what I did wrong and learn from it. I have tried to understand him, tried to do a good job and just have always felt completely disheartened. He didn't even talk to me about the fact I wanted to leave (and still do) when I was looking internally. I had no encouragement or interest in the fact I am studying the DFS. He says he will train us in stuff and never does. 

Get him away from work and there is a side of him that can be nice, but there is a side of him that can be just downright awful and rude. He has a job as a Team Leader elsewhere..... My experience of him hasn't been good because I am upset by certain things he has said etc (like making me take my leave, the failed quality check he didn't remember etc) and found them hard to let go of. He even admitted his approach is something he has been pulled up on by his bosses..... I am home sick at the moment and just keep bursting into tears. I can't figure out why - part tiredness/exhaustion, part relief, part jealousy.

Seriously this job had me seeing a counsellor for 6 months because of things with him and the other team member who was finding him difficult and going to HR etc. I have burst into tears twice. Taken annual leave as much as possible in little stints because I just can't face being there and around the rudeness.  Rudeness you cop on the phones and rudness from other people who wont take calls for questions about their cases. I am that bored I am introducing knowledge games into the team meetings I get to chair. 

I should be happy he is going. The person who is replacing him is the old team leader who hired me and him I actually find approachable and he is polite in the way he brings up feedback so I should be happy I guess, because it could mean things get better. The thing is he may be leaving soon too - rumours are flying he doesn't have a job when the restructure is confirmed/made official and the help desk could be changing so I don't even know if I will still be on the phones or get to do something else like processing or if they will add new people to the help desk from other areas as it is rumoured. One team member is going part time which I am not looking forward too because I will be the only 9 to 5 person in the team then. I wish I had never accepted this job, but for what I do it pays well, which I discovering because salary is proving problematic when I am searching. 

I don't know wy I keep crying about it all. Maybe the fact he is leaving is just making me think about everything over the past year and how difficult it has been. I was new and we lost a team member, lots of bitchiness, new people I had to help when I was new myself. I don't really have alot of friends there. I went to one girls wedding with a couple of the others. 

Anyway, on a brighter note  I am going to get to sing at the Opera House with a famous choir which will be exciting. I start rehearsals soon.

Not a lot else to add. I just needed to vent a little because I am home by myself and need someone to talk to. 

One of my friends is moving about 90 minutes from the city too, so I will not get to see her much anymore :(  that is making me sad too.