So it's been a couple of months since I wrote last. Have sent off for my audition for the choir....still waiting to hear back about when it is. Hopefully I hear back soon.
Work is annoying me. I had an interview for a job elsewhere within the company, but didn't get it. Kind of glad in a way, the fact it was with 6 planners worried me a little and I think they really wanted someone with a thick skin so I can understand they felt I was maybe too nice for putting up with 6 rude obnoxious people.
My boss didn't really say much when I told him I had the internal interviews (phone and in person). I think he was a bit shocked at first, but he simply wished me luck and tried to be nice about it. He annoys me sometimes because he is really obnoxious. I guess what I find hard is that I think if I knew him away from work I would probably think he was ok as a person, but I don't like him as my boss - he is not overly motivating. I got no help with enrolling for the diploma or any encouragement - he always forgot about me wanting to do it. But the main thing was him failing me on a call and not being able to tell me why and forgetting yet still maintaining it was a fail. Coaching sessions get cancelled and he was going to train me in transfers, but I have been waiting 6 weeks for that to happen. I guess some of it isn't his fault and he has other things to do as a manager, but f*&*, the fact he has no time for his team because he is always in meetings or busy dealing with other things like complaints about processing errors surely shows there is an issue with the amount of people on staff (we need more people I mean). I find the woman I work with a little difficult too. She gets given all the extra things to do and I don't understand why it ALWAYS falls to her and no one else gets a chance. She hates it, hates him but is nice to his face in front of us and then they argue in 1 on 1 sessions. She has been there 29 years and knows a lot which is great, but she just seems to like making waves and boy do you know if she is in a bad mood. The department doesn't have a lot of single people I can connect with either - everyone has families or is getting married, having kids etc and have flexible work arrangements so they work from home a lot or odd hours. There is a lot of bitchiness and gossip and just unhelpful behaviour between people in various teams as well which just makes doing the job itself a pain in the backside because there is no respect for our job. Being a team of 3 makes things hard when one is away and there has been a lot of leave so that hasn't helped things either.
I just get depressed thinking I am not ever going to get away from customer service. For heavens sake I spent 5 years at university and I just feel like career wise I have nothing to show for it. I don't want to spend my life tied to a damn phone whether it's low volume contact or not. I don't feel like I am contributing anything valuable and I don't feel I am using hardly any of my skills and I am just mind numbingly bored because there is no variety in what I do.
I had an interview for another job outside the company and they couldn't match my salary so I did not continue with the interview process. Grrrr. I applied for more jobs tonight. I am wondering who to ask to be my references because I have given up trying to keep in contact with people from my old job and I am scared to ask because I haven't heard from them in so long.
Other than that I had a friends Hens Party last weekend which was fun. It was in Double Bay, which was nice. Lots of champagne and pink. Good to talk to some new people. A few people didn't come, but it was a nice day all the same. Nothing over the top. I had a pretty bad hang over the next day.
Have seen some good movies - The Girl Who Played with Fire and also the animation Legends of Guardians - the Owls of Ga'hoole.
My cousin is having a baby which is exciting news.
I have been seeing a counsellor for 6 months because I am feeling lonely and getting frustrated at how hard I am finding it to meet people here. Also because of the work issue. I am just finding the bitching and boredom really de-motivating. I feel like a loser because I am now 31 and single, not that there is anything unusual about me being single. But it would be nice to NOT be for once in my life and having that feeling is probably exactly why I am still single. The counsellor tells me being my age and single is not a bad thing because I have lots of freedom. I don't bloody have any single girlfriends here though and I don't feel very positive about being 31 and single. I feel pathetic and like something is wrong with me. The fact people at work are rude enough to ask me when I will get married etc is frustrating too. I thought shewould be able to help me connect with people better because I have always struggled making friends and some of that is because I have been a really bad judge of character in the past (in some instances simply because I didn't want to be lonely so I put up with things most people wouldn't from so called friends). I find it hard to gage sincerity and trust people because I am very used to being alone and have been bullied in the past which makes things hard too. The counsellor really tried to get me to focus on the positive things I have achieved - my toastmasters, finding a job, an apartment etc. Helps a bit more writing out things though. Being sad about it isn't making me feel like putting any effort in to meetig people which is a bit of a vicious cycle. But anyways, I have probably droned on a bit too much.
Oh I went to Floriade the other week as well - very pretty.