Load
Well a few changes happening at work. My co worker is planning on retiring as he has been doing the job 12 years, and his wife wants him too and they want to move near the grandkids etc. Lovely for him, but he is decreasing his hours which means I will probably be carrying most of the workload, which I feel like I have basically been doing since I started. My relief co worker only had 4 days training and I was having to still teach him while the guy was on leave, and now this. I have two days this week on my own which will be interesting. I have coped so far, but it is a shit load to do for one person. I was promised they would look at coverage (help) for the decreased hours. I was mainly annoyed at being left out of the loop about it all until the last bloody minute. Seems pretty frigging rude and a little unbalanced treatment. I was training the relief in other areas of the job today, because he will need to know it if something happens.
But anyways, I am going down the great ocean rode this weekend which I am looking forward to. Haven't done that since I was like 17 or so, which is a while ago now. I have been a little nostalgic lately. Just I guess resinging myself to the fact certain family dynamics are not going to change. I wish I had a better relationship with my brother, but half the time he doesn't even seem to register I am in the room. I know I shouldn't let it hurt me, but it does. I have tried having lunches with him, asked him to see Bill Bailey with me. Not interested. When he visits at mums place, it is like he just zones in on her. He barely even acknowledges my presence when I am there. Never mind the fact we hardly see each other or have conversations. If he is not talking to mum he will use the computer. He has a mental illness, fine but fuck it hurt, because all it tells my brain is that I am nothing to him.
Dad I haven't heard from in a while - not since we had lunch. Really, can't say I can be bothered making the effort when he and his wife have done nothing to be make me feel welcome or even attempted to be pleasant. No, it's ok to not answer doors and pick on me for not being able to have kids and send me to a hotel. I feel strange with mum as well considering the whole not selling the house thing. I don't trust her anymore and I don't when or if that is going to change. I don't know why my family hates me.
I just don't understand what I have done to have such damaged family relationships and I wish it wasn't the case.
Sorry the post wasn't so happy and cheery.
