Rambling

Sep 21, 2008 at 13:39 o\clock

Hmmm

Well had a fund night out last night with K from Halifax. Grand Final is soon. Hawkes made it, so my brother is quite pleased.

My pc is still playing up a little, so go figure what the problem is. Not speed, not security settings. It's probably just AVG going overboard scanning every page I want to go to.... Ping and DNS are fine. speed is fine. tracert for most sites is ok -except hotmail and ninemsn. Even my mum's computer had the same tracert result...

Anyways, K said she can come to NZ in January too, which is awesome. It shoud be heaps of fun. Anyways, going to leave it there tonight.   Oh  mum was wanting me to get my front teeth fixed. They were broken when I was younger and have a ting grey mark in the middle - only stans out if you stare...and she manages to bring it up as if she has only just noticed EVERY single time that she brings it up.  (it is not the first time she has brought it up almost annually since I was little). I will get around to it eventually, I have never been told there is a problem with the capping. The grey is nerve damage. 

Alright enough. 

Sep 20, 2008 at 01:23 o\clock

PC Problems

Have been battling with a internet connection issue the last few days. Ended up being WIndows Defender interfering with AVG progam by the looks of it cos I am having better luck now....

Getting over a cold as well. Wish I had had a few days off work, cos yesterday was a struggle as I was working the job alone. It was busy and I got confused by a couple of things. 

My brother actually seems abit happier lately. He invited me to the footy with him and dad. I am not going, but it was nice to be asked. I know my last entry was not a happy one. Perhaps I should just try not let things get to me. It's normal for families to have their own lives. This family just isn't close. I need to stop wishing for it to change cos it isn't going to. 

We had a couple of people leave work this week. A farwell last night but I didn't go cos I wasn't feeling good at all. Oddly I feel ok today.....Still going to take it easy this weekend though.

Some of you may remember the TV show 90210....well it's back and apparently from what I read in a magazine, Dylan and Kelly have a kid.....When you look back it really was a ridiculously tortured show. Brandon Dylan and Kelly    Dylan Brenda and Kelly.....  It's all about Kelly. I actually preferred Dylan and Brenda and stopped watching once "Valerie" started on the show, it just got so crap. 

 

 

 

Sep 1, 2008 at 13:26 o\clock

Load

Well a few changes happening at work. My co worker is planning on retiring as he has been doing the job 12 years, and his wife wants him too and they want to move near the grandkids etc. Lovely for him, but he is decreasing his hours which means I will probably be carrying most of the workload, which I feel like I  have basically been doing since I started. My relief co worker only had 4 days training and I was having to still teach him while the guy was on leave, and now this. I have two days this week on my own which will  be interesting. I have coped so far, but it is a shit load to do for one person. I was promised they would look at coverage (help) for the decreased hours. I was mainly annoyed at being left out of the loop about it all until the last bloody minute. Seems pretty frigging rude and a little unbalanced treatment. I was training the relief in other areas of the job today, because he will need to know it if something happens. 

But anyways, I am going down the great ocean rode this weekend which I am looking forward to. Haven't done that since I was like 17 or so, which is a while ago now. I have been a little nostalgic lately. Just I guess resinging myself to the fact certain family dynamics are not going to change. I wish I had a better relationship with my brother, but half the time he doesn't even seem to register I am in the room. I know I shouldn't let it hurt me, but it does. I have tried having lunches with him, asked him to see Bill Bailey with me. Not interested. When he visits at mums place, it is like he just zones in on her. He barely even acknowledges my presence when I am there. Never mind the fact we hardly see each other or have conversations. If he is not talking to mum he will use the computer. He has a mental illness, fine but fuck it hurt, because all it tells my brain is that I am nothing to him. 

Dad I haven't heard from in a while - not since we had lunch. Really, can't say I can be bothered making the effort when he and his wife have done nothing to be make me feel welcome or even attempted to be pleasant. No, it's ok to not answer doors and pick on me for not being able to have kids and send me to a hotel.  I feel strange with mum as well considering the whole not selling the house thing. I don't trust her anymore and I don't when or if that is going to change. I don't know why my family hates me. 

I just don't understand what I have done to have such damaged family relationships and I wish it wasn't the case. 

Sorry the post wasn't so happy and cheery.