Rambling

Just wrote a huge entry and lost it. Hate it when that happens.

Found a job at Starbucks for mornings - help me save some extra money for the trip to Nova Scotia.  

We move stores today. Should be good. At least the shop will be bigger. Friend here at another shop 

advised me to

try talking to (A) and apologising if Ihave upset her. Don't know if it will do much good. I am not going to see her at work anymore after this week as she will only be working weekends. My friend said she also noticed that I will go around and say hi to other workers in the mall whereas she doesn't. Maybe it's just her and I need to accept and move on from the fact she doesn't like me. There isn't much I can do to change that, but I am sorry it happened. I just don't want it to make things awkward at work and I don't want it to start into a bitch fight with her slagging me off to the new staff I am supposed to help train.

Enough for now.  

Am really not getting along with the girl at work at the moment and all over bloody facebook. Its is a shame considering we are the only company we have all day in that fucking shop and maybe that's why....we just get under each others feet. There is obviously something she finds irritating about me. I feel like I have at least made attempts to be civil and show an interest - obviously I have tried too hard....adding her to facebook did not mean I wanted to go out with her outside of work. I thought on the whole we got along but obviously not. I guess it's been a 'trying to keep the peace' situation. Which is a shame. Perhaps she finds me argumentative and like I don't listen which I haven't done deliberately. The boss isn't there much and I get confused with what new stuff she tells me (and which I have to pass on) a whole heap at once.  By the same token anytime I make an attempt to talk to her she has her nose in a book and is basically plain rude although this has only noticeably been the last week and a half. I guess I should have taken the hint sooner. I didn't mean to invade her privacy by adding her to facebook (she could have ignored the invite instead of taking me off it). I was just trying to tell her I liked working with her and up until now for the most part I did. I actually thought we had some good conversations. I am really bad at reading people. Not sure if I should bring this stuff up with the boss and by the same token don't think I can stand sitting in awkward silence with someone else in the shop.

maybe I shouldn't be, but I find it hard to understand people sometimes. Maybe I should try being more observant.

Have decided to go on a Road Trip in November....hopefully I have enough saved up to do it. If not I guess I can stay put and do a couple of weeks work and then take off again. I have until late Feb to finish it and can extend my flight, but don't think I will actually. I have so far planned 5 stops on the way. Regina - Winnipeg - Thunder Bay - WaWa - Sault Ste Marie - Ottawa - Montreal and then Halifax.

Looking forward to it. May stay put in Halifax or Montreal for a bit and work over there bfore coming home.

Would be great if I had someone to come with me.....or even meet up at one of the spots.....

Save my pennies for the trip as best I can, I guess.

Wish I wasn't s gullible..

Working all weekend and have Monday Tuesday off.  Which means no boxing this weekend, it will have to wait til next weekend. I might see if the zoo needs volunteers as well, cos the classes finish next week. Note sure if I will go, cos they are having parties in the class......I suppose I can.

 

 

Hmm.   the guy I thought was hitting on me at the Language centre - who told students he didn't have a girlfriend (well actually he said no he wasn't going away with his girlfriend.....stupid me) I looked him up on facebook and he has listed himself as being in a relationship. Am I that innocent looking for god sake. It is frustrating, what vibe am I generating for taken men to be thinking this is ok. O wasn't wrong wen he said I was gullible.

Saw a bear today on my way up to Lake Louise......Was a little freaked out. Backed away from the situation. Not long after the mama bear came down to the baby. I was pretty far away by that stage. Scary thing is they are so quiet. Got a taxi up to the Lake and the people at the shop in town called for me and they rang Parks about the bears as well. Lake Agnes and Mirror Lake are gorgeous. I am exhausted and falling asleep waiting for my bus to Calgary. Cannot wait to get home have a bath and just sleep. Have to work tomorrow. Which isn't going to be great. I am by myself. Today I hiked on my own, but it is a busy trail so there was lots of people traffic around doing the same thing. Wish I had someone to share this stuff with. feeling lonely and would like to know what it is like.

The wedding was lovely. You could just tell how much they mean to eachother. Really beautiful to see.  Was also really genuinely good to see them both again. It's like they know me good bad and ugly. They knew me during a really difficult time and whilst of course it didn't get brought up, It was just like all the time since we saw each other last was nothing. Just picked up from where we left off. Not sure if I am explaining that well, but it was great anyway and I am glad I got to share the day.

Well, today is K and K's wedding. It has been great seeing both of them agian actually. They seem very happy which is great.

I am waiting for a taxi. Haven't done much today except wait around for the wedding. I go home tomorrow, so might hang around coquitlam for a bit, but stop off at the shops for a while first. So I don't get too bored waiting for my bus home.

Will hopefully get to go and hike to Lake Agnes.

Not a lot of other news. Just got some pics taken of me in the lobby cos I was bored and want some nice pictures of me on holiday for once.

The hotel for the wedding has free internet. YAY.  Have been going nuts on facebook....probably not the best idea. But oh well.

The wedding is tomorrow. Need to look at a map and see if it is far from the hotel. I ran into K this morning was really good to see him. Neiter of us brought up the whole t and j saga......

It is also his birthday today which he forgot to remember.

I am getting excited about the wedding. I don't think anyone unpleasant from the past is actually going to be at the wedding. D and E both pulled out at the last minute as well.....sad, but it is a bit of a way to come and expensive.

Hope people remember the things I do for them.....arghhh. 

I am feeling a little better after a rest and bath in the hotel room. Which is really nice by the way. Didn't do a whole lot except go and look at ol Lake Burnaby which to me was pretty damn ugly, but that's just my opinion. I also had a look at the shops for a while and then came back and have used the computer for a bit. Funny I am missing O like crazy and I really don't think he could have given a flying f**. 

A couple of the WLL people have let me know they can't make meeting up, which is disappointing but at least they bothered to let me know.

Not a lot else to add at this stage. Feeling Happy actually.

 

Last day of the work marathon.....I am exhausted and the day has just begun. I am not volunteering this week. Too tired, and too bad if it looks rude. I need to be awake for the wedding and I want to pack and buy a book for the bus and go to the doctors before I leave. Haven't hard back from LL people if they want to catch up. I assume that means a no. Disappointing. Maybe they don't have the day off or just aren't sure if someone will be able to get them down to the village to meet me, bt they could still write back and say that.....I dunno. Whatever. If the bus stops at the lodge I might walk in briefly and say hi during the 2 minute stop the bus makes (so it will be a VERY quick hello and bye). Not going to bust a blood vessel if they are not interested. I still wanna go to the Lake and hike to Lake Agnes on the way back from the wedding.  

I made a mistake yesterday, I am actually on Day 5 of my 9 day stint. I head up on Thursday....

It is supposed to be a nice area, so I am looking forward to spending some free time looking around, as long as the bus ride isn't too crazy exhausting.

Will get my a into g and go to a boxing lesson when I get back as well. Need to do something to meet people and extend my network. I know I am volunteering, but that hasn't helped me meet some friends to go out to the movies or simple stuff like that...I feel pathetic. I am not even sure if the Lake Louise people will meet up with me when I stop off, who knows. Hopefully they will. Would be nice. Don't get me wrong I love working with (a) here, but she is 23 and has a boyfriend so probably isn't wanting to socialise with me outside of work. I know these things take time.....I also need to try really hard not to be shy and stop being so used to being alone.

We have a grand opening for the new store in September as well, which hopefully means I will get to meet some other people from the other stores........

Volunteering finishes on the 24th, so I need to find something else to keep me occupied and not going mental sitting at home.

I think I am doing OK though, not everyone would try those sort of avenues....It would be nice to go out on the town for once though. It has been ages.

This is my third day straight of 9 days working in a row. I must sound really dull. It is for the wedding though......and I am working a public holiday so I will get extra spending money which is good. A little scared about the wedding and who I am going to run into from the whole t and j thing. Maybe drinking will not be a good idea if I am going to have trouble controlling my emotions and get upset especially if it brings back memories of what happened.

Well I think I did blow it by being too shy....nevermind.  I just don't now why I can't be the girl that jumped in the lake that day and was carefree and confident in Lake Louise building inukshuks and going hiking. Why can't more guys see that side of me more (and NICER guys than O more to the point). I always ruin it by clamming up. When they don't or shouldn't have an agenda I am fine, but not otherwise.....

I always end up just looking lame because I don't have the gut to make the first move or am too scared of rejection to give my feelings or impressions away. Only I could manage to stuff something like this. I get my hopes up and then never know what to do and guys look at me with the expectation that I am sexually active because of my age which just makes it more difficult, because I give the wrong impression and say the wrong things or just don't notice things. I can tell that both teachers were sussing me out. But then we don't talk or make opportunities to talk outside the classroom. I dunno, am I supposed to make a bold move and go with them on their break do they want that? I would have thought they would ask me to join them if they were keen, so maybe I am just some eye candy and there is nothing more to it. Maybe I just have tickets on myself and maybe I am just lame because I am too quiet and guys don't have the patience to take their time to cut through that initial shyness before formulating an impression.  And maybe, I am too wary because of the t and j thing in Japan and this is a teaching environment. Maybe I imagined (IR) checking me out. My friend (t) thinks making it obvious is not a bad thing.....but I think I left it too late and have just looked or come across lame. I guess I still have two or three more weeks of term left.....I guess an initial response like what I got was simply an excited 'fresh meat' primal response and didn't mean anything. Maybe I think too much because I have too much free time.