Rambling

Well, I am not sure I have written alot recently. Mum's partner (t)'s father died two nights ago. The funeral is on Monday. They called to let me know he was not likely to last the night and (t) said he would like me to go to thr Funeral so.....will be interesting. Very sad his dad has died though. His dad was a cool guy. Good sense of humor.

Had lunch with my brother. He has just gotten back from a holiday with (mum and t). I guess I need to accept things arent going to change. Mum is always going to be a control freak and my brother is always going to just not be considerate and (t) will always take mums side. It hurt yesterday when I went to see mum and she was kind of gloating I hadnt seen the baby yet (t's daughter had a baby about 8 months ago) then again they never acknowledged the card I sent to congratulate the birth of their son. I just get fed up. But this is not going to be a day to worry about that so I will put things aside because I am not heartless, just very hurt and exhausted from mums games. 

Other than that, work is ok. Didn't get the etrade thing but nevermind. Only a couple of months to go and christmas is coming very soon.  

Knew it would happen one day eventually. I turn up to work, log in to a pc open my email to check the breaks and low and behold, I am not rostered on for the day. Thats right. I went to work on my DAY OFF. I very prompty logged off and left the building before I could be talked into doing overtime.

Went to the movies to see The Prestige. It was cool. Very interesting twist at the end, although I was hoping it woul end well for Hugh Jackman and he gets the raw end of the deal (well....both the magicians are pretty stupid fighting and competing and stuff). But the twists and illusions are great. 

Alright, enough for now. May I just say I hope Jessica wins Australian Idol. For the first time EVER I actually voted because I thought she was in trouble last week. She made it though which I think is fantastic. 

Bye 

As I am sure people have heard on the news. The actress Belinda Emmett passed away. I can only imagine how distraught her family are. I just wanted to post this note as a condolence and well wishes. I doubt there is a lot anyone can say or write to make people feel better. It is tragic and another loss of a great Australian.

In other news I had an awesome day at the beach yesterday with (t and c). Great to spend time with them outside of work and to basically mix with some different people than usual. My brother has gone to Tasmania for 10 days. He is going on a walk there which sounds awesome. Hope he takes some great pictures to show when he comes back.  

I need to organise travel insurance this week hopefully for my trip. Just still waiting on my doctor to send the letter i need.

enough for now. more later.  

Lunch with dad tomorrow. YAY

Had some weird person calling me at home tonight from interstate - wrong number and dickhead called three times.

Work is busy and exhausting and boring and the same.

Had my doctors appointment last week, need to keep taking my vitamin d. didn't think I had to do it permanently, part laziness. levels were not good.

starting to organise travel insurance for my trip, which is good. will feel less stress once I have that out of the way.

I need to book a tour or something as well for a few days.

my brother is going to Tasmania with mum and her partner for 10 days - dad told me this. they leave on saturday. i give up. But I suppose it's not like actually telling me would change things. I will be working on christmas day and probably do something else with dad and my brother like usual around boxing day or christmas eve. something. It stinks, the longer it gets left the worse the rift become and the harder it is going to be to get over or put the relationship on track again. But she knows where to find me. Not like she has picked up a phone or comet to visit since I found out what was happening. She has hardly had the guts to face me and was not interested in talking to me at (my cousin As wedding). ok vent over. 

no other news really, life is pretty boring. funny about that. I read other peoples journals or blogs i should say and some of them are a lot less serious (especially the ones by people in my age group) and yet there are also a lot more sadder ones. People with serious illnesses, drug problems, bi polar, drinking problems divorcing....sometimes that makes me lucky but at other times i listen to people my age at work and from reading blogs and they all seem so much more easier and less baggage. I resent that and can tend to find these sort of people spoilt, and immature, maybe that is wrong of me but it probably does not help me try to relate to people my age when i think they are immature fuck wits with no problems (they may have....but you get my drift)

Derby was ok. spent the day in agony cos my shoes were uncomfortable and wouldnt stay on properly. We had two bottles of champagne between us which I didn't drink all of, I stopped drinking at dinner but the night managed to end with me being sick in a rubbish bin and rushing to the toilets to clean up my face. YUK. I was embarrassed, and felt bad but I honestly felt ok until just this moment where I felt I was about to faint and then it was like, no...I am going to be sick...run. At least I didn't do it in the line for the pub we were waiting to get into. (K')s response was to say I need to toughen up when I travel cos I hadnt had much...for fuck sake I am only little and I dont normally polish off a whole bottle on my own unlike her on occasion it is not something I am used to or that I normally do. I was very embarrassed.

This week has just been exhausting. I have had late starts and stuff to do each morning so I have had to get up early, kinda like burning the candle at both ends. 

I am taking it easy today cos I felt like a fucking truck hit me when i got home and went to bed. It is too long a day and I can't keep up with her. Not that I try to. Anyways over now.