Sep 26, 2006 at 03:41 o\clock

so far so good.

well day off again. had three days on one day off and then two days on and one day off. All split which is kinda not so cool but I guess I will deal. Was again thinking that the 24/7 roster is killing me and I am tired of being tired and not really being able to take up a hobby because of work, but it does have some benefits. 

I have noticed a crack on the windowsill of my apartment. The building must be moving, little bit scary when I saw it, but it's not huge. I have let my real estate agent know, so not a let else I can do. If they want it fixed or not.  

It is lunch time and I have spent the morning lazing around. I will head out in a moment. Maybe go to the gym for once and then into the city......

Grand Final is this weekend and I have had four different invitations for plans. I am working til 3.30 so have the 2nd half to enjoy or go and share a few drinks anyway. Will probably just go into the city....


alright more later/ 



Sep 22, 2006 at 14:35 o\clock

PC Trouble and Ipods.....

Well another interesting few nights with this stupis computer. I had to do a system restore again to fix my windows packages (microsoft word) because I deleted the desktop shortcut which it told me would be fine so click ok to confirm or delete basically and so I uninstalled and tried reinstalling and fucked that up but managed to get it back on and working. The I had to muck around with reinstalling itunes for the ipod becuase of the system restore so that buggered up as well and I did a 2nd restore fixed the windows installation and repaired itunes, but lost my song library so ended up neededing to re download my cds again from start. I now have used about 2.6G of the ipod.  I love the ipod though, so handy to have. I am listening to cool music I havent listened to in ages and enjoying it again and it is so small and easy to carry around...yada yada you probably know this about ipods already.

Other than that not a lot. I went to see The Devil Wears Prada tonight on my way home. Not bad, didn't really leave feeling like WOW that was awesom, but it was ok and passed the time.  

We had a fundraising BBQ at work which was a really nice day as well. I smelt like meat afterwards, but all good.   

I am over using certain descriptive vocabulary, sorry, just read my last post and every thing was either good or great. I need to try expand a little more yeah....

We will see. Funny you know, was tellin (k) at her birthday that it seems like years ago I was in Japan having actual conversations that I could understand and stuff with other Japanese people. Not just stuff like asking for milk in a shop, or ordering at a restaurant, but conversations about general things as well and now I would probably be lucky to remember a lot of it unless I went back there and immersed again...I do miss that side, not the teaching though, so if I so it would be a holiday and thats it. 

Still hoping to go to Canada next year for ski season. I am almost decided I dont want to uproot and live overseas though I feel settled here and NOW at least I wouldnt want to. I might feel differently next year, but may also be content with an extended holiday instead....I dunno I just don't want to pack up my life into boxes again any time soon and end up losing half my shit or getting it damaged.

One more year here at least, but it is going to be alittle lonely when (K) goes March/April next year...... 

In other news Grand Final is coming up. Should be interesting. No Victorian teams left in the finals now.

Ok more later.  

Sep 20, 2006 at 10:43 o\clock

Plodding Along

Well i have had a birthday party/drinking session and cool night at a hotel and relax in a spa. Had coffee with mum which surprisingly I just felt really detatched and empty. We chatted for about 20 minutes or half an hour and I just didn't really feel any warmth. The house has finally been sold she asked if i wanted to see it one last time...i saw no need. She is working part time...I guess I simply don't feel like I can trust her.....I was sitting there wondering how she was going to twist my words again. 

Bought myself an ipod the other day as well and have spent the last couple of nights downloading all my CDs onto it. Good to be able to compact it all and at least I have the music handy if I travel or loose the CDs or break them or something happens....It is 4G so holds about 1000 songs or so and the battery lasts an hour.

We had a lot of Hoax attacks at work today I was helping with....  6 different sources in one day which was not good.

(K's) birthday was pretty fun. the spa, the hotel was very swish and the night out was pretty good as well.  I didn't pike as I have in the past which was good. It was an enjoyable night though, i like the Nite Cat, which is a really funky Jazz club. Didn't like Copa's as much, but still not my night to decide where etc and all in all, pretty great for once.

Enough for now. Bye 

Sep 13, 2006 at 14:34 o\clock


Meeting mum for coffee tomorrow. Should be interesting. It has been 5 or 6 months pretty much....and I still have no idea what I am going to say. I don't  need to be messed with anymore or bullied or manipulated or whatever. I still haven't made any progress with my brother. Not once has HE suggested a get together and he is like oh you could go over and get your stuff. Not once has anyone even bothered to talk to me about why I don't see her and yet I am the bad guy. This is NEVER going to change so I am better off away from it because it is too heart breaking and eshausting trying to get something that isn't going to happen. I never understood that before, but now I don't have the added confusions it is a lot easier to focus and I regret feeling like I wasted my early twenties.

It is hard enough to accept I have probles without all this added shit on the bargain as well. I am very hurt at the rejection I feel.  


On a brighter note I have (k's) birthday to go to which I am looking foward to a lot. Should be a good party. More later.



Sep 9, 2006 at 12:30 o\clock

So Far So Good.

We have been really busy at work lately with all the upgrades and had a few hoaxes and stuff as well.......I have been actioning mail a lot lately so have been getting it all investigated by the right team.

It is nice to know you are doing something important......makes me feel good about mysel and my job anyways. Despite the fact it can get a little monotonous.

Have done several scans over the last few days and even ran the Windows Malware Removal Tool, it has all come up clean. My Anti Spyware is removing tracking cookies. The most likely one I am getting is from this site though when I log in so much to it. So seems all good. I have three programs to help me - Norton, Ewido and Windows Defender and the Removal Tool. I have also changed my settings to clear history and cookies every time I close the browser. Blowed if I know how I got the virus in the first place though, really not too happy. Maybe when I did the system restore it came back and I just hadn't scanned for a while. I have done 2 a day since Monday....So feeling a lot more peace of mind. Just hope nothing else happens because it really is starting to wear a little thin. I will probably get the hard drive formatted if another problem occurs because this is a new computer and it should be working properly and for the most part it does, but....anyways enough crapping about that.

Lunch with my brother on Monday and I am yet to contact mum. I may send her a message or call or something during the week. I still want to think about it, but feel I should give her a chance perhaps. I admit I am hesitant and wary....

Haven't heard from dad since Fathers Day.

Have a birthday party to go to next weekend......it should be fun because she has booked a hotel to have some fun at. It has a pool and spa and pampering so sounds great. Just the thing and I don't have to stay out til 3 which is good. Sucky I can't sleep all day Sunday though.....never mind. I am not going to need to be very alert.

Nothing on TV tonight - Sister Act (and I actually prefer the 2nd with Lauryn Hill if I am to be subjected at all).

Guess it beats football. and Funniest Home Videos.

What else, nothing actually so will leave it here because I am starting to get really choppy and random and all over the place with my comments and it probably isn't making a lot of sense. Hey, what can I say I have been up since 5am on a Saturday.


Sep 8, 2006 at 09:38 o\clock


The Crocodile Hunter - Steve Irwin and Peter Brock the racing driver have both died this week in very sad circumstances. Stingray and a car crash....very sad. I have never met them, but they were very public figures and it is sad. Steve was only 44. 

My computer seems to be coming up ok lately. I have Windows Defender working and Ewido sotware and Norton. I have done a couple of scans every day and they have all been clean so far.....


Had a panic attack at work today that I left the heater on. Caught a taxi home to check so was 15 minutes late to work despite getting there at bloody 6.30am for my 7am start initially. damn it. The early starts must really fry my brain.  It is annoying.

Didn't get the job, but think I already said that.

No other news. oh wait. I got a card from mum yesterday just saying she was thinking of me and would like to catch up for coffee sometime. I suppose I should respond. If things haven't changed then at least I will know we tried....maybe...I dunno. I will give her a call early next week sometime to organise it. Would be nice to get things on track, but i have a feeling the cycle is going to start. Dad and mum being jealous and just arghhh.


ok bye

Sep 6, 2006 at 09:50 o\clock

Not Happy Jan

Have spent the last couple of days running virus and anti spyware stuff to clean my pc. Despite having norton I still managed to get a backdoor trojan on the bloody pc and some tracking cookies. Nasty. Scanned my pc and it kept telling me the virus was gone, but I tried a different program that found it again (since found out the second program i tried was actually spyware....so FUCK). Had a techo guy come yesterday to check and all seems ok. I must have cleaned the pc proberly thankfully. Norton is doing it's job and I have 2 top grade anti spyware packages which have come up ok. Getting a little stressed that I seem to get somethng every time I connect to the web though.....really putting me off connecting and using the service as much, so I may not be posting as often.


Other than that. the footy was good the other day. I haven't heard back about the job so doesnt look good on that front. Work was busy and i am up at 5am starts all week. Bloody hell. The dude coming out yesterday cost $150 which I wasn't happy about either. But at least I have peace of mind things are ok. He checked manually and ran a heap of stuff that came up clean managed to find the mcafee stuff i hadnt been able to delete as well, so guess it was useful. Anyway enough posting for now. .


Sep 3, 2006 at 10:19 o\clock

Hawthorn vs Geelong...Fathers Day

Well, if I remember correctly posting this time last year, things were a little nuts and I was not very happy.

Instead of lunch in a restaurant this year we went to the Football which was nice. Got to sit near the cheering squad and behind the goal posts at the bottom so it was right in with the action which was cool Dad and my brother seemed to enjoy it immensely.

Not sure what (T...mum's partner) is doing this year, something with his girls I suppose. We all had dinner last year which was nice. This year is a different story. Looking back at that time they were too busy trying to lie to me and about me. I has no idea what was what. I have not had contact since April...that is about 5 months now. Feels strange not wishing him a happy fathers day though.....Didn't even get an invite to dinner, funny how that has stopped and I have been avoided/ignored since finding out the stupid house is getting sold. 

Have a preliminary task to complete for another journo job by the end of the week about mobile phones. Will probably visit some mobile stores in the city tomorrow if i get the time (should make the time really if i want the job.) Have to pay rent first. 

Want to go to the gym at some stage and grocery shopping as well so that may have to wait or get spread out a little. Part of me wants a day to myself doing nothing.....again I am tired and really dont feel like running around doing a hundred things or cleaning or stuff like that, but it needs to get done. I feel in some ways like I never stop. May not be true but.....

Have been working late shift to 11pm this week and last week and it really mucks up the sleeping pattern. I start on Wed at 7am....It is seriously is getting too much.