Aug 29, 2006 at 14:32 o\clock

Tired of being Tired

Thankyou for smoking is an awesome movie,  the lobbyist dude is hillariously brilliant and a bastard at the same time but you cant help liking the character. He may be spining bullshit, but the bullshit makes sense.....

Anyway, that is not really what I was wanting to post about. No, at 11pm at night I was wantint to post about being exhausted. I am at a stage where I dunno if it is the celiac, my roster, depression or a mixture of all of these things or none and maybe I have chronic fatigue or something.....maybe I should see a doctor about it....perhaps the main reason is dietry and a lack of exercise, although I went to the Gym today for 40 mins on the tredmil. Was also going to get a pool schedule, but they didn't have any printed to take away. I just know I am getting tired of being tired all the time. It perhaps still annoys (K) but if she brings it up I am going to let her have it. So what if i dont fucking want to go out til 4am waisting money getting on alcohol pretending to have a good time while I get drink spilt on me and elbowed in the face and am supposed to act like its all great bloody fun. 

She can get very annoying because its like all she wants is someone who she can drag around to do whatever the fuck she wants and wo betide them if they want to do something else.

I am still really hurt by her calling me a freak after everythng I suppose, it just really doesnt make me feel as though she is very sympathetic with what I have been through. 

Sorry, this wasn't meant to be a slagging bith fest post either. I just am tired of being tired all the time. And I am fed up with my laptop bugging all the time as well.

The stupid thing is, if I try go to sleep I will lay there for ages trying and will toss and turn. If I have my period then I will be in pain with cramps and uncomfortable and other nights I will be thinking about work or something or watching tv and just not be able to sleep. Perhaps it is too much caffeine I dunno. But I have decided regular hours may help the situation slightly. 

If I get the job I am going for on Thurs, that will be a positive. But do I wanna up and leave it if I end up liking it, I will be there a year or so if I get it, so that will mean a year where I am now and then this job and then a stint OS again....I guess I can then cut some of my interim call centre jobs off my resume and I will then have Coles, Admin, Call Centre, Japan, Japan, current job and the new job if I get it.  I have cut two call centre jobs out of the mix which i worked at in between trips to Japan, maybe it doesnt look so bad The first three where whilst I was in highschool and uni anyways. I am 27 though and still doing entry level stuff and part of that is frustrating, but the other part of me realises its not so bad because I took things maybe too seriously whilst in Japan and let it spoil other elements of that experience.

On the other hand, a new job would mean I don't constantly compare to the whole harrassment thing, because I do at times find myself thinking, now this time in my last job I was...certin dates and just little reminders that jolt the brain. Maybe that would ease a little because if I move on then I would be thinking about the job I am in now instead of the awful time in Japan that happened.  

Wow my mind is wandering a fair bit. All I intended initially was a quick gripe about being bloody tired and not being able to sleep.  

I have done a lot of travel and I am perhaps not as impatient about setting off as (K) who is not going in April/May next year instead of Jan 2008/Dec07.

Well anyways it's time for me to stop posting and at least try get some sleep...... 

Aug 27, 2006 at 16:29 o\clock


Have a group interview for that job on Thursday.  Looked at the job description and advertisement a bit more and it actually sounds like a pretty good job i will find interesting. The lady emailed me, i sent her one saying I had called three times., go figure... but all is good now i suppose. But I need to remember there is only one position going and they are group interviewing......i am really going to have to knock their socks off. It would be doing stuff like preapring training documents and editing materials as well as some marketing projects. So we will see, fingers crossed.....

Had a nice day with (k) yesteday actually, was interesting I found myself telling her when to bite  her tongue on occasion or being more assertive anyways...we went to Belgian Beer Gardens and then onto a movie on Chapel St - was called Thankyou for Smoking and it was awesome.  based on the perspective of a spokesperson for a research company. which made it very interesting.

 ok enough for now will write more when I have more exciting news....


Aug 24, 2006 at 16:28 o\clock


Well, settling back into things here in Melbourne again. No big plans for the weekend at the moment, catching up with (K) on Saturday....then I have Monday and Tuesday off. Stupid work roster scheduling....oh well, they did ask nicely.....

Nice seeing some of the people again. Got a phone call for a job interview though have to call again in the morning about it. An interstate number which sucks....i will only try once because I called back and the woman was on another call or something and i didnt get called back....Still the job is in Melbourne and sounds pretty good. I would get to use more of my writing and it may just help me crack a newspaper one day....

I also don't think I can handle the up and down of the roster anymore. I want a set shift or regular hours. It really is getting a bit much to handle.  There are times it is good, but it does get exhausting and I wonder why I need a holiday so often. 

Not a lot of other news to tell really. Been a quiet week. More later when I have something exciting to tell you.






Aug 21, 2006 at 09:33 o\clock


Well, holiday is over.....canberra was interesting. Went to the national museum. Saw Pharlaps heart...and the first FJ Holden ever made along with other cool stuff. Saw Parliament House, Gardens, Museum and High Court....Empire Circuit.....so yeah was pretty good. Seeing the family in Batemans Bay was lovely too. Really good to see them all. I took a cruise aling thr Clyde River to Neligen which was absolutely beautiful..Am uploading photos as I write this....Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. It has been too nice having a break. Read some really good books as well. When In Rome and My Sisters Keeper and Odd One Out. During my bus/train trips.

Did a lot of walking. Grandma kept talking about how much weight I had lost....weird. I feel exactly the same.....but anyways. Didn't do a lot other than the cruise and hang out with family whilst over in Batemans Bay so was good to just relax. It is a very pretty area.

Canberra was interesting, but hell to walk around because it is centred around two major roundabouts and it is very difficult to navigate these busy spots on foot. There are detours to get around, but they add a long time to the journey.

Did boring stuff today like gorcery shopping and am about to hook up the printer to make some tshirts with a few of my designs....

Boy From Oz was UNREAL as well by the way. I highly recommend seeing it if you get a chance....Hugh Jackman was great. Very funny, great personality with the audience and great voice. Just a really good night and I had a fantastic seat.

Happy news all round.

Aug 11, 2006 at 13:24 o\clock

Sydney Update

Wow. The new look here is interesting. Well, it has been a few days since I posted last and man did I have a blast in Sydney. The only thing I didn't love so much was the train trip. Not much of a thrill unfortunately. 11 hours on a train as uncomfortable as heck.

But I had forgotten what a pretty city it is. No scrap that, Stunning. Hyde Park and the Botanical Gardens/Domain areas/ Not to mention the usual of The Harbour Bridge and The Opera House. I also went to the Zoo (did this last time as well, but wanted to check it out again and once more was blown away by the bird show I also went to Manly which is gorgeous beachside area and Darling Harbour - The Aquarium and Chinese Friendship Gardens and The Paddy Markets (this remined me of Vic Markets a little). Pretty much all of which took my breath away. The presentation of the shops is awesome as well......So all in all I had a great 4 days in Sydney. It is nice to be back in my aparto though and I am looking forward to Boy From Oz and then heading to Canberra and Batemans Bay. Just wanted to update.

The Tower was great as well, got to go up in the evening and see Sydney at night. Wasn't in the mood for clubbing and this was a grea way to look out over the city in the night lights and be safe about it as well. I took some great video footage at the Aquarium and fantastic shots all round. Caught up with (a) from Japan days as well, but that was just for coffee/tea so a little disappointing. Was good to see her but I felt a little distant....maybe that was me being jealous. She seems deliriously happy - things are going well for her, she looks stunning as always and has just bought an apartment in the Manly/Mosman area. Good Luck to her and I am glad she is happy, but just realised we were more like aquaintences than friends....But yes, I had a great time, tired from walking so much and broke from over spending for stuff, but hey that is what a holiday is for - to enjoy right...


My hotel was great with a beautiful clean bathroom and very comfy bed and near Hyde Park and most of the sights. Really glad I went.

One thing I like more about Melbourne though is that it is easier to find a restaurant.....Getting home by transport isnt crash hot though when a f****g taxi driver and group of protesters with him decide to block Flinders St and Swanson St for a protest. Ok enough for now. The holiday is going great so far. Will post more later.

Having a bit of fun exploring the new blogigo design. Interesting, but I already mentioned that. Just read back over this and I have barely bothered to punctuate anything. Hope it makes sense still.  

Aug 5, 2006 at 07:02 o\clock


Do you know I shudder to think of the amount of money i have waisted on absolute crap. My gym membership for one, when i never bloody go. I need to remedy that either start going or stop the membership. Clothes as well, granted my mother has bought a lot of clothes for me over the years, but clothes and shoes - an 80 dollar pair got eaten by dogs, clothes i throw out simply because I don't like the, My hockey gear. My bar fridge that dad has - true I can use it again sometime...money i have also waisted on cars in the past with services and stuff. Junk food and alcohol.....
I lost a months salary thanks to what happened in Japan - rent, cancelling my phone, bills, settling in and buying electical goods such as an iron and cd player and a new bike. I also spend exorbitant amounts on broadband for the internet.....I have thrown out old kids toys I no longer wanted and nick nacks when my stuff got packed away. Lost a shit load of uni and personal leisure books in a flood.
My holidays and travel (not that that is a waist, but it can get expensive).

Sorry grumbling today because I had to go pay rent and also needed to buy some tracksuit pants, which wouldn't have been necessary if I had kept the black pair I bought a year or so ago and have NEVER worn instead of throwing them out. I am more a jeans girl and have been getting away with some tracksuit material bottoms I bought in Japan until now. But the Japan ones whilst cotton and plain grey are a little more like winter pyjama bottoms and I don't feel comfortable wearing them to the gym when I go. I usually wear shorts and as it is Winter I need some tracksuit pants. I also needed to buy a charger for batteries for my digital camera because I am sick of paying for the lithium batteries. and the existing charger is for Japan.

It isn't the end of the world NOW, because I am earning pretty good money for what I do. It may not seem it but it is an important job. You realise that when you get more responsibilities. Resetting a password is not just a simple button click there is a lot more to it.
Fraud, browser settings, identifying people, making sure details are recorded accurately...etc etc etc. It can get repetetive though which is the downside, but I like the team and they seem happy enough with me.

I suppose i need to accept i do have a little anxiety when it comes to work but that partly generates from what happened in Japan last time.

On the other side I have accumulated things that I will be able to use when I get a place of my own. I normally don't think about how much money i spend i just make sure I am comfortable and happy. I have never really considered myself materialistic....I don't intend to come across like it if I am.

Ok enough from me for now. I need to get back  to packing for Sydney trip.

Aug 4, 2006 at 12:53 o\clock

Holidays are here

YAY.   home, settled. Just need to pay rent tomorrow morning and pack a suicase or backpack for the trip and I am ready to rock and roll.  Have a few people I am catching up with.
Got my wishlist gift for my award as well which is a nice platter. I really need to get a little coffee table or something for my place because I am starting to run out of space for things and I feel like I am always tidying up or trying to make room for something else.

My friend (k) just invited me to the wedding in Canada in August next year. I am very happy for him and (Kr) they are a lovely couple, but I am scared I will run into other people there from my past that I don't wish to and I think it would be a little inappropriate and to be honest I doubt I would handle it well if (j himself or s and her daughter or son in particular were there at the wedding). It is a possibility that s and her son & daughter may be there because (kr) is friends with the family....so is (j). And bless him, but (k) actually considered those bastards (t and j) his friends.

Anyways, enough for now. Cooking dinner so have to go.

Aug 3, 2006 at 13:09 o\clock

One More Day To Go

And it can't come soon enough. Had a crap day today. Locked out a customer the other night for using someone elses CRN she wanted help with a transfer didnt get that and I didn't get to register her and she complained and said I was rude to her.....

I remember the call and I did explain terms & conditions to her, and try telling her look, it IS a joint account I can help you but..... and she either just didnt hear me or wasn't interested at the time and unfortunately....it's come back to bite me. I wasn't screaming or yellnig or getting agro. I was telling her calmly.

I know I would have offered to register her because it is a standard thing and I always do check that stuff. I definitely remember telling her that although it was a joint account she still needed her own log in and I tried three times to explain that I still could help with the joint account she just wasn't having a bar of it. Just annoying because now it means I have three complaints on file. I have the one from June when I had to refer someone to a branch and also the call I had to escalate in May and now one in August.  Doesn't look good. But my TL said not to let it upset me or worry about it. She said absolutely none of my monitoring had picked on me for my tone or anything. If it happens again though they will need to look at things a bit more though I suppose which would be fair enough, it just doesnt seem quite fair because I remember the particular customers and the one I escalated YES I was bad, but the other two are rubbish I was doing my utmost to maintain a polite tone and have done ever since bloody getting screamed at infront of everyone.

Again my TL assured me I am a good team member and that there were no other problems (at present anyways). I guess that is consolation. I have had a lot of mail compliments which will reflect ok hopefully. I was just a little upset by getting called in to discuss this today. I don't want to have a fuck up like in Japan. I am not being harrassed on top of it all here so it will be quite crushing if this job goes sour. I asked her if other people had complaints happen like this and she siad not in our team, so that wasn't too pleasing to hear. But she said from walking the floor she wouldn't be surprised if others did get complaints....I was like well, what happens now and she was like nothing, we just needed to address it with you and it stays in your file, you're a great team member blah blah. DOH  bugger bum poop

Still getting put on mail so all is good.

ok enough ranting.  looking forward to Sydney and the birthday party  I am going to on Saturday.

Aug 2, 2006 at 11:12 o\clock

If You're Happy and you know it.....Part 2.

It is nice feeling happy. Hard to describe, but I do. I guess I am not used to not having a lot of stress around me. I got another Clover Award - it is a prize for the Quick Win achievement award I got a couple of weeks ago. I get a gift from wishlist. I chose a lovely platter which will come in handy for special occasions.

I have annual leave in two weeks time. I am really looking forward to going to Sydney - I know I keep saying it, but I am. I am excited. Need to get some batteries or a charger for the camera. May buy myself a charger so I can re charge all the rechargeables I do have....

I am probably going to end up taking a lot of pictures. Hyde Park, Parliament House, AIS and the Zoo maybe and Circular Quay, Batemans Bay.....I already have some pics of Sydney though, so not really sure I need more of the same thing.

Will figure that out when I get there.

(L) sounds like she is having a great time in the UK. I am a little jealous, but part of me knows I will head over eventually as well. I just need patience.

Have a party this weekend as well which will be pretty good night. It's a birthday but also some sort of concert to head to as well, I am looking forward to that as well.

I am actually enjoying myself when I do go out. It doesnt seem like occasions in the past. I am not being dragged somewhere I hate and getting picked on if I say no. I really do need to start listening to my feelings and standing up for myself instead of just letting everything slide.

Enough more later.

Aug 1, 2006 at 10:31 o\clock

Pinch and a Punch for the First Day of the Month

August is here. I have been in Aus again for just over a year. When I think to this time last year, I was writing entries about my parents and how frustrated I feel and I was really not getting along with mum....but I didn't understand why at that stage.

Now a year on, I am doing well at work, and am soon to go to Sydney for my annual leave. I have almost been in my current job a year. With the company 1 year, with the department 10 months.

I am catching up with (a) and possibly (e) from Japan days when I go to Sydney, YAY. Looking forward to that. I guess I need to forget about (j and k), that friendship was never a friendship to begin with.

I have spent this morning putting the finishing touches on some of my cards. It is a slow process because I am gluing ribbon around the boarder and then gluing beads onto the ribbon.....

Had lunch with my brother yesterday and that was really nice. I enjoyed spending time with him. Was nice to see him and dad on Sunday as well.

He apparently hadn't been to well, but interestingly enough dad and I seem to be the first one to be told. He had to have a few tests.

I know mum must have found it hard coping sometimes....doesn't meant the rest of us coped that well either. I can understand that she wants to focus on her own relationship now instead of her kids who keep coming back to the nest. I just don't understand her.

In more news, today is my last of the four day break. Love it when the roster works in your favour like that....No other news to tell. What with sponsoring a child, making my cards and shopping, seeing family it has been a nice long weekend.