Rambling

Interesting observation made by a friend at work today. I had left my bag down stairs at the lunch cafe and returned to my desk without it. I did not notice this at all until my final break for the afternoon. I got up and froze for a second and was exclaiming "I don't have my bag"  Feeling mildly alarmed I turned to head downstairs and find the bag. Excorted by my friend we asked at the counter if it had been handed in, and luckily enough it had.

Recapping the event I got upstairs and all I could do was feel relief. Phew.

My friend told me I was not showing a lot of emotion when she recounted her perception of this. I find this interesting because I was quite concerned, I figured it would be downstairs and to me I definitely did not feel the picture of calmness I supposedly looked. And yet i wasnt looking panicked or sad or stressed or anxious according to her.

Does this mean I handle stress well or am I a freak who has something wrong with her ability to express emotions on their face, because I have been criticised for the exact opposite thing in the past - being too expressive. It just seems weird. Maybe I wasn't showing it, but I was worried about what the hell I had done, it had been missing for 2 hours or so before I noticed.

I figured I had left it on the seat, but I still was not from what I would think, entirely calm about this when I realised.

What is wrong with me. In all honesty I really dont have the heart to get hurt again and put myself out there and keep trying if it is going to keep getting thrown back at me, this is why I am taking things at my own pace. I don't care about being cool anymore. I just do what makes ME happy. True at the moment I am lonely, but I am going to be a lot more choosy about who I let into my life from now on. I don't want anymore setbacks for a while.

 

 

Had a pretty fun day today. Was off the phones at work, we have lots of new people starting. I finished work today at 3.30 so have an afternoon free. Applied for some volunteering. All in all a pretty good day.

I have been thinking that perhaps i need to accpet that others are never necessarily going to understand my experiences....never going to know how awful (J and T) ended up making me feel and how how totally humiliated and stuffed up I feel. Nor are they going to understand the frustrating complexity of my family and how irritating I find certain hypocrisys. It is too hurtful that much I know.

Enough, more later.

 

 

It is true (J) is moving to my transfer city. How fucked up is that. I know I am not there anymore, and it shouldn't matter. But that is just sick to me. I hope they make his life as much hell as mine became. Cunts.

(K and Kr) are moving in together he arrives back in Japan tonight/today. Good for them. I hope they are very happy together. Part of me is still quite bitter I suppose, but maybe I have a right to.

Anyways, I at least don't have to rock up to work and be asked for sex or picked on for it anymore. Just wish I could do my job a little better. I feel like I am always stuffing up. Maybe that is a reaction or nerves from the past, but I do find my current job a little frustrating at times. I guess the work force itself is just something I have to toughen up to so I don't get walked all over.

I love the other consultants, but it just gets so hard sometimes when it is busy and I want to do a ood job and I suppose I get disappointed when I make mistakes because I know it all goes in our reviews and I want to impress them and do a good job. Not just for them, but for my sake as well.

I like my current TL a little better than the previous. She is a bit more approachable about stuff and easier to talk to.

Alright, bye for now.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Checkout Operator/Key Holder at Supermarket
2. English Language Instructor
3. Administration/Customer Service Consultant
4. Internet Technical Support Consultant

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Star Wars
2. Princess Bride
3. Dirty Dancing and Ferris Buellers Day Off
4. Stand By Me

Four places you have lived:
1. Blackburn, Fitzroy - Melbourne
2. Kanazawa, Yonezawa, Koriyama - Japan
3. Bundoora, Kingsbury - Melbourne
4. St Kilda - Melbourne

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Smallville
2. House
3. NCIS
4. News

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Kyoto, Nara, Osaka, Tokyo, Yokohama, Sendai, Fukushima, Yamagata
2. New Caledonia/Noumea
3. New Zealand - North/South Islands
4. Brisbane, Sydney, Central Australia, Tasmania

Websites you visit daily:
1. Hotmail/Yahoo/Gmail
2. Blogigo & Blogger
3. Bebo
4. google

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Risotto
2. Pasta
3. Roast Chicken
4. Chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Canada on my working holiday trip
2. In the UK with (L)
3. Interstate Australia
4. Noumea

Four of my favorite drinks:
1. Orange Juice
2. Vodka Lemon & Lime or Bacardi
3. Coke                                                                                                           4. Red Wine

 

What's Your Goddess Identity

Belinda, you're a Muse!

Known for your creative powers, you Muses are the poets and musicians of life, the patrons of the fine arts. It's funny, though — even with your inspirational prowess, you're probably not the type to boast about your guitar-strumming skills, or your latest published book of verse.

While it's great when people flock to you for ideas, there probably is a part of you that prefers to blend in sometimes — whether dressing in muted shades or staking out a one-on-one conversation at parties and social events. But try as you might not to hog the spotlight, others can't help but notice you. Must be hard to be such a goddess!

Despite any lingering modesty, you might be surprised at how much your mere presence can help improve the lives of those around you by infusing them with ideas and good thoughts. With that kind of healing energy, your inspirational ways have the potential to change the world, Muse. Whether you're scribbling sonnets, boogying with your friends, or drawing your own constellations — you're tapped in. So keep your eyes wide open to the possibilities and let that inspiration flow!

 

 

Saw the new Superman movie last night. It was pretty good. Strange without Christopher Reeve playing the part, but still not bad.  Good light hearted entertainment. I have reviewed it on 

www.juniorpromedia.blogspot.com

so if you care to read the review or visit the site I create, have a look.

Above is the traditional or original Superman himself, Christopher Reeve. A tribute to the character he made famous.  Now played by Barndon Routh below.

 

Have the day off today. I am feeling a little lonely. I got my annual leave approved yesterday though and should start looking into hiring a car for the two weeks. I plan to go on a little road trip. I am considering Batemans Bay to see Grandma et al. Who knows.

As far as work goes, I am on linkage forms at work because I have made three errors within 6 months. damn it. Not the end of the world I know, but.....

Just wish I could get off the phones a bit, which admittedly they are letting me do a little more often now, so that is nice.

Haven't heard if I am a 'funster' yet though. (Funster is the name of the social commitee or whatever it is classed as anyways).

Not much to do today except grocery shopping and I might head to the gym.

My laptop still seems to be working ok, virus software is working properly and firewall so all seems good after the annoying day spent fussing around with McAfee.

I have really found this week hard, been very tired. Part of it is just the up and down rollercoaster of a schedule that we get rostered on.  

I will leave it there, becuase this is sounding pretty dry and there is not a lot else to write at the moment.