Rambling

Jul 31, 2006 at 14:14 o\clock

Child

Well I just decided to sponsor a child with world vision. A gorgeous little 7 year old.  Kind of a spur of the moment decision, but it isn't like I have my own kids to save money for and send to school and buy clothes for and blah blah. I am never going to have that, so why not do a little something for a child who is not as privelleged. I hope it does help in some small way.  

Notice my gym member ship deducted twice from me this fortnight as well, which I need to get looked into.....


Is not a big deal because I eneded up getting paid back by the Amedee Island people as well for the double deduction, and that happened of it's own accord.

Fun and Games....

Anyways, am watching TV and want an early night so more another time.

Jul 30, 2006 at 09:24 o\clock

Bledisloe Cup

Well last night was ok. Wallabies lost to the All Blacks though. One of the women I went with is a Kiwi and she said you can normally tell if they are going to win by the way the haka is performed.....Still it was a close match and fairly exciting to watch considering I am not someone that really follows Rugby much. Needless to say my kiwi friend was very happy about the result. I couldnt have cared less and neither did the others girls......very much. I was just glad to have a night out.
 
Got asked for ID in the casino, which happens EVERY time i walk through to get from one end of the building to the other. People do not look at your face before they ask. It's like there is an alarm or something because they come running over, and it's like you can see/hear them going...
 
"...oh oh oh short person I have to ask for ID".....for fuck sake.

That is a very slight exaggeration but  I find it patronising when I do get asked anywhere, because the guy asking me is usually a bouncer in his 20s himself and being 27 that is upsetting because they all take this really childish tone with me as if I look about 5.

Usually I laugh it off due to the sheer ridiculousness now that I am about 10 years over the legal limit, and try to be good natured, but I simply don't find it a compliment. Men don't look at me in that way as it is and to have them treating me like that when I am out for the purpose of meeting men, doesn't put a good positive outlook on how the night is going to pan out and then I get fed up with being elbowed in the head by everyone or having my back dug into be people pushing past and people talking over me to pick each other up and ignoring me.

I get the same thing when I meet women, I get the once over and it feels as if they dismiss me and don't want to get to know me because I am not a man magnet who is going to help them find a mate with the click of my fingers...if that makes any sense.

I don't want to sound so negative, but I get fed up with feeling I am never going to get my shit together. One moment I am criticised for being too facially expressive and the next I am criticised for not showing any emotion.
I am not interested in putting myself out there anymore when things I have tried in the past have failed terribly. Not all of that of course was my looks. I understand that, but the hurts from the past have made me weary and cautious and a little jaded to the point I prefer to be on my own because I have given up trying to understand where I am going wrong. People call me reserved and yet half the time I feel like I am trying to show interest in someone and those efforts go ignored or are unreciprocated. If I ask about how someones holiday was for example, then I will listen while they tell me all about it. And yet when I mention I am going on holidays they are not even interested enough to fucking ask where I am going and then I get picked on for being too quiet for fuck sake.
 
Saw my dad and brother today....was ok. probably too hung over to be much company. We watched Team America -it's a movie made by the South Park Creators and is quite funny/interesting/perceptive.

I still have two more days off.

My computer is still freaking me out by installing updates for everthing under the sun. Windows, Firefox. Something mucked up and i kept getting a message saying norton did not recognise the repair key....no idea what it meant, but apparently files were corrupt. However I have checked it and everything says it is doing what it should. I called tech support for the pc covered by the warranty when i bought it and i followed their advice which was to restore to an earlier point when it was working and re install the updates. fuck i hate computers sometimes. Bloody antivirus software that constantly goes awry. I wasn't going to spend all day with it like the fiasco that happened and it seems ok now....so...hopefully the problem resolved itself....

Jul 29, 2006 at 03:15 o\clock

Australia vs New Zealand

Pavlova

The famous desert known as the Pavlova is named after a famous Russian Ballerina   Anna Pavlova......

Australia and New Zealand love to argue about where it was first made.

 The cake is made of merangue, marhsmellow and cream. The top is usually fruit such as strawberries, Peaches, Pasionfruit and Kiwi Fruit.

A biographer of Anna Pavlova, wrote that a chef, Bert Sachse, at a hotel in Wellington, New Zealand, created the dish when Pavlova visited there in 1926 on her world tour. Australians say the pavlova is based on a cake baked by Bert Sachse at the Esplanade Hotel in Perth on 3 October 1935, but Sachse's descendants believe that he may have come up with the recipe earlier, since Anna Pavlova visited Australia in 1926 and 1929 and died in 1931. The earliest known books containing the recipe were published in New Zealand.

 

VEGEMITE

Vegemite on toast. This is an Australian product through and through. Whilst popular in both Aus and NZ, Food technologist Dr. Cyril P. Callister invented Vegemite in 1923 when his employer, the Australian Fred Walker Company, had him develop a spread from brewer's yeast after war had disrupted the supply of imported yeast spreads. The name for the spread picked at random. It is also owned by Kraft now, which is an American company.....but that disgrace is for another time.

We're happy little vegemites
as bright as bright can be,
we all enjoy our Vegemite
for breakfast, lunch, and tea
our mummies say we're growing stronger
every single week
because we love our Vegemite
we all enjoy our Vegemite
it puts a rose in every cheek

 

CROWDED HOUSE

The band Crowded House is another one that is debated quite frequently.  Two original members were from Australia and one, the lead singer, was from New Zealand. People still love their music today. It was a sad moment when they had their farwell or goodbye concert at the Sydney Opera House.

RUSSELL CROWE

Born in New Zealand and moved to Australia when he was 4 years old. The claim to this well known celebrity is often debated and the answer can depend on whether his temper is getting him in trouble in the newspapers or if he is winning Oscars for his outstanding acting.

 

PRIME MINISTERS:

New Zealand has a female Prime Minister Helen Clarke. She has won two terms and succeeds the previous PM Jenny Shipley who was the first female PM in New Zealand.

Australia is yet to have a female in the top job. John Howard is the current Prime Minister. He is the 30th PM to run the country and at 67, pretty much about to be the oldest as well. Will be due for the poles again within a year.  

 

The population of Australia at present is:

20,090,437 to refresh this figure visit the population clock at the link below


http://www.abs.gov.au/Ausstats/ABS@.nsf/0/1647509ef7e25faaca2568a900154b63?OpenDocument

 

The population of New Zealand at present is:

4,035,461  to refresh this figure visit the population clock at the link below

http://www.stats.govt.nz/populationclock.htm

 

 

Jul 28, 2006 at 14:51 o\clock

Football

Here we go again.......


 

 Australian Rules Football

Essendon and Melbourne do battle.


Rugby......

 


The All Blacks

Man that is frustrating when you loose the stuff you are writing.

Above is a picture of the All Blacks, the New Zealand Rugby Team and the famous war dance The Haka.   I am going with some girls from work to see the rugby tomorrow and they are playing so will get to see it.  Still remember last year whilst on contiki actually getting to see the haka performed by maori men. It is quite amazing. A little intimidating as well, which it is supposed to be.

I was also commenting on how I am not sure what I will do with myself and all the free time I have coming up. I have four days off and aside from lunch with my brother and also going the Footy on Sunday with dad and my brother, i don't have any other arrangements. I have to do the shopping of course, but other than that.....

Anyways, I have had just about enough blogging for one night. I have been surfing other blogs to earn credits and it is really interesting some of the great and not so great stuff you get to come across.....people being accused of creating hostile environments for writing a blog....people blogging about computers, people blogging about gossip, diaries, sport, movies and everything and anything that they/we think is interesting.

For the sake of a few measly hits on your site it does seem a little time consuming. I suppos I have to question why I want to work so hard at getting people to read my stuff....especially when it is drivel like " I saw Superman Returns" or as above "I am going to the football" and so on and so on.

Before I get to philosophical I suppose I need to stop and look at why I started posting and it wasnt to get everyone to read. It was to vent, and using a computer these days takes up less space than a handwritten journal in a notebook. I have about 10 or even more maybe, of those from over the years because I have written a journal since my 9 or 10th birthday and I am a lot older than that now.

Alright enough.  gnight. gnight.

 

Jul 27, 2006 at 13:58 o\clock

If your Happy and you know it.........

sorry just an excuse to put some pictures here. I am in a surprisingly happy mood and feel like expressing it. What better way than with a picture like this.  Grin from ear to ear.

A Smile is infectious and makes the world go round. Sometimes it's all it takes.

This is just too cute.

Jul 27, 2006 at 11:25 o\clock

And again.

More people leaving. Two last night from a different department that I began training with. From my department one more last week and one today and my department has two more people leaving soon.
On top of that we have had a heap of new people start as well.....but anyways, enough about work.

Rugby/Football this weekend and drinks. Then I have annual leave and a birthday party the next weekend which I am looking forward to because we have been really busy lately.

My computer keeps installing updates and is freaking me out a little but seems to be running ok. Just gets a little annoying when you are in the middle of stuff like writing a blog entry and lose it so don't feel like writing it all again and have to restart the browser or the whole computer....

Will write more after the weekend. I have four days off all up to do stuff with. May actually head to Williamstown this time if the weathe r is good. Lunch with my brother as well will be good. Was surprisingly good to speak to him as it has been about three weeks since I saw him last.

Alright, gnight.

Jul 24, 2006 at 12:06 o\clock

humdrum

Another day, usual stuff.....nothing much new to write actually, just felt like touching base. Still feeling a little lonely today guess I have myself to blame for that. I have developed a Monday ritual and that is to read the gossip magazined to get my fix. SAD I know, but it passes the time when you are bored, and with me that happens a lot. Not every week, but a fair bit. If I managed to stop buying magazines I am sure I would be amazed at how much I save and probably have other things to put it to use with such as my trip to Canada/UK next year.

I am getting keen to travel and it is hard passing the time away, and yet at the same I have something exciting to look to with my cards and stuff...so, not all is bad.

More when I have something decent to write or ponder. til then bye

Jul 23, 2006 at 04:52 o\clock

Greeting Cards

Walked home from grabbing a hot chocolate in town and happened to see a craft shop with the perfect materials to get the Greeting Card plan into action. YAY. I have made up 11 small (standard B5 card size) and 4  A4 size cards. All I need to do now is insert the blurb or greeting onto some pretty paper and create a design for the border.  I managed to sit down and install my printer to the computer finally and printed off the photos to insert.

They still look a little plain at the moment but that will be sorted in the next couple of weeks.

I get totally caught up in it once I get started. I love seing it come together. I am one step closer to hitting the markets eventually.....YAY.  The finished product should look pretty cool. I will probably have to head back to the craft shop. Total random luck I found it. Maybe if I actually looked hard enough sometimes or made an effort...but yeah i want some beads for the border. I didn't think of that stuff when I was there yesterday, no matter I can go back next weekend or on my annual leave before I head away and take it with me to do on the train or something....

It is pouring here at the mo.....glad i am all warm and snug in my appartment.  Lazy i know, but hey. I am enjoying being creative today.


Jul 21, 2006 at 13:08 o\clock

Weekend

Just got home from my favourite restaurant. It was packed, which is a good thing. I like the Chicken Risotto, it is one of the best I have tried so far, and is part of the reason I go there. When I don't want salad anymore or gluten free pasta or beef/rissoles or fruit....i ususally crave risotto and this definitely hits the spot.

Have no plans this weekend although I do have a big weekend next week. A goodbye for three people on Thursday, The bledisloe cup on Saturday and a concert for work on Friday......I do tend to go through patches of nothingness though. Soon I will be on my annual leave though which is cool. Looking forward to going to Sydney. I should try and see my brother before I go I suppose, he never calls me, or initiates us getting together....would be nice if he did just once.

Am watching some silly TV movie at the moment because there is nothing else on that appeals and even this show doesn't.

Had some really interesting enquiries today at work. We are still being bombarded due to a few various reasons, so it has been pretty hectic. But I have been off the phones a lot which is nice not having to talk and repeat myself all day.....I appreciate the break.

Enough for now. Bye



Jul 20, 2006 at 13:23 o\clock

Appreciation Award

As if my star award for my multi lingual calls that I help with

wasn't enough.   TODAY I won an appreciation award for my process improvements suggestion(s). Basically you submit an idea for consideration as an improvement or change in process. I submitted three or four during June. Feels really good to be appreciated and to feel like what you do is of value somewhere.....Really nice.

 

Dunno if I told you I am on the social/fundraising committee as well so things really do seem to be going well.

In other mundane issues, sent my tax off to get sorted out by the family accountant, Dad brought a rug over for my apartment and it has definitely taken the chill off, so is pretty cool.

Anyway enough for now.

Jul 17, 2006 at 12:44 o\clock

Monday Monday.....

Monday Monday....... 

My family feud is still on my mind. I wish it wasn't the case, but....really don't feel strong enough to cope with the emotional abuse or watever it is and I don't need to.

I am a little empty though but I suppose that is to be expected.

On the other hand I seem to be doing Ok at work, my star award, helping with shutting down the hoax, mail duties and follow up for customers. It is enjoyable and I actually feel like I am doing something worthwhile which is nice.

I keep thinking about the night with (j) though. It makes me feel sick to my stomach sometimes to realise how awful he and (t) were to me and just the whole situation. A young woman on the overseas working holiday experience of a life time and all they gave a shit about was fucking it's cookie for a bet and humiliating and belittling staff and co workers. I should have walked off the job when I got the ear infection because it had started by then and I remember crying about what they were doing whilst waiting to get treated.

Still, it's over, done and in the past. I need to move on and cope with the present and what is good in my life at the moment and there does seem to be a fair bit that is good. My health, work, going to Sydney, my website....


Downloaded the Windows version 1.5 for Mozilla Firefox today. It is running pretty good. Very user friendly and the alerts are in laymans terms rather than jargon (ie - it even lets you choose your default home page once downloaded and import all your favourites or bookmarks). As a browser is very clear to understand. Pop Up Blockers are automatically built into the browser which is great as well. no annoying ads. It even asks you to chose if you want Mozilla or IE to be your default web broswer for access. So very happy with the download.


The image “http://store.mozilla.org/images/home/mozillastores.gif” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

For those considering doing the same, go to

www.mozilla.org

enough for tonight.



 

 

Jul 16, 2006 at 11:41 o\clock

Cartman - Ode to South Park and The Simpsons.

While I am on the subject of cartoons. I thought I would pay homage to a couple of other well known favourited.  Love him or hate him for his redneck views...Cartman and the southpark crew are normally good viewing. There is always a social message despite how crass it may be presented....Generally it is a funny cartoon and I don't get to watch it enough. My brother did get me the CD one christmas but I don't have it anymore. I only liked hearing Cartman sing 'Sailing'.  I started to not like Chef's songs whereas my brother loved Chef, that's probably why I let him have the CD eventually????? 

Another cartoon I like, and which is on TV more regularly here (albeit, maybe too regularly...but) it's quirky take on everyday life and interactions is still great comedy years later. Again, there is usually a social message be it totally blatant take on human interactions and values or a more subtle comment. Simpsons is in its seventh season now and south park its tenth i think but maybe not showing in Aus yet)

As you might gather by the nature of the last three posts I am rather bored.....Ok enough mindless crap for today......

Jul 16, 2006 at 10:47 o\clock

Ode to Astro Boy. - with theme song (keep reading)

Astroboy was called Tetsuwan Atom in Japan. The black and white series was created, animated and produced by Osamu Tezuka (1928-1989) through his own company named Mushi Productions. Tezuka, like his father, was a qualified doctor of medicine but was more interested in drawing. Astroboy was a successful comic strip in Japan in the 50’s. It was released in Japan between 1963 - 1966 and was shown on Melbourne TV in April 1966 at 5.30pm Sunday's on channel 0.The tv week described it as "Cartoon adventure series about a youngster in the 21st century." 


 

 

Don't ask me why NOW all of a sudden I felt the urge to blog post this, but it is a cartoon I grew up with and his birthday happened to be the 7th of April 2003. A Japanese cartoon, the merchandise is everywhere and it was all over Japan while I was there during 2003/2004 and again for 2004/2005. I even have a TShirt iron on applique.  I guess since I am in a reminiscing mood I may as well include this little reminder as  well.

NEW THEME SONG HERE

http://home.alphalink.com.au/~roglen/astronew.wav

 

Jul 16, 2006 at 10:14 o\clock

Desiderata & Footprints.

- when I was studying nursing and had to assess two people as case studies, one of my clients introduced me to this poem and it has remained in my memory, must have struck a chord at the time......

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

 

Another Poem that touched me, is from highschool. Read during a middle school assembly one year. I found it the most beautiful thing I had ever heard and from memory I may have even cried. Not normally someone who is highly religious, I still adore this poem for its simplicy and kindness.  There are a few different versions though..the first one being around 1936 by Mary Stevenson, but there also some similar adaptations and this is one of them.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, He looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

Jul 15, 2006 at 13:17 o\clock

Bus Trip booked.

Well, all booked for my trip to Batemans Bay. Took some time. I am going to Sydney and Canberra as well. Had to use three different services. Getting up there is long winded I get a train and bus to Sydney. Then I have a train to Canberra and then a special bus on the way up from Canberra to Batemans Bay through a different company. Realised I forgot about a certain concert though....

and felt very silly.  I have ended up making a detour and coming back to Melbourne to see it and then back up to Canberra. So i have about a day and a half less in Canberra. Only want to see Lake Burley Griffin and the AIS if possible so it's not a huge loss. I have about 5 or 6 days in Sydney and come back to Melbourne then from Canberra to Batemans Bay for 5 days. I should be able to change my bus ticket from Canberra to Batemans Bay to the next day if i call tomorrow though, so seems like it will work out ok.

I am not so sure I want to spend the whole 5 days in Batemans Bay I orginally only wanted three or four, but I suppose it will be alright. Be good to see Grandma and the others on my own without having to worry about other stuff.

It's winter, but I am sure it will still look beautiful. We normally drive over the birdge you can just see in the pic. If we come from Canberra though we miss the bridge.

Jul 15, 2006 at 02:56 o\clock

mistake

Had a quick drink after work with (k) last night and she brought up the fact i havent seen my mother in ages. She started rabbiting on abou how sad it is and blah blah which I started to get a little offended by considering she doesn't have any idea what the situation is like or anything about my family. I ended up telling her about my brothers suicide, what my mum said to the doctor, and the whole secrecy about the house and just how frustrated dealing with her makes me feel. She was still like oh you guys need to be locked in a room blah blah. For fuck sake, if I honestly thought that was going to be any help I would. But she blocks and disregards everything I say, it is like she doesnt want to acknowledge me as a person and that feeling is so hard to describe.

On the one hand she makes a huge fuss about me and oh poor....and on the other hand to my doctor it's "oh she's suicidal...she is so precious to me...." but to the family it's "oh she's angry about the house and blah blah blah...she's a bitch" when at the time i knew nothing about it. She lied to the family that i did know and there is just all this stuff floating around that I haven't done or said. It isn't true and I am fed up because people relate to me via her perceptions instead of actually listening to what i say. If I say I am not upset and then mum goes and says oh she is, then they will listen to her instead of me.

I didn't feel like going into it all so I just told (K), look it is too hard to describe but I don't need or want to be around it. I have enough trouble trying to get myself on track without the added complications of that shit. I just am not strong enough to deal with her.

I am regretting telling her any of it, but part of it was done to tell her to shut the fuck up about it when she didnt know very much about it.

Thinking about it, mum is the one who broke the communication. She has not had the guts to pick up a phone since i found out about various things.

(K) was then telling me to get my brother to mediate. I simply said NO.    There is no way I am dragging him into this more than he already has been. A fair indication she has no grasp on the situation and how much history or hurt there is floating around in ths family that just doesn't communicate. Because her next question was Does your mum drink? I said yes (which she does a G&T or wine every night) and her response was oh you guys should go out.....

I know she had good intentions with these comments and they probably stem from a well wishing desire things would improve between my mother and I, but.....it does display a certain level of ignorance.

Maybe I am bitter I don't know. Part of me just simply wishes I had been allowed to be anormal teenager instead of having to shoulder all the baggage from mum and dad's divorce. Aside from that, I don't feel like I got any emotional support from the family when I did come home from the hellish experience with (t and j). I was still getting over almost being raped. But oh no, I am not trying to deal with that at all - No No, instead I am supposedly angry about the house, suicidal and accusing mum of being after dads money. For fuck sake.  I just wanted to be left alone. It is something I am not going to forget in a hurry. All this going on and no one gives me the benefit of the doubt and asks me they simply listen to whatever mum says or lies.

Sorry if this is all sounding totally out there, but simply put frustrated deceived and hurt and disregarded is how I am feelings about it all.

I haven't made this break without considering the fallout. I know it is sad, and of course part of me misses my mother. But part of me is so hurt at having stuff thrown back in my face all the time and just not feeling accepted for who I am. Like I said earier, I am not strong enough to deal with her. Don't think my comments had very much impact on (k) though, but she left it alone eventually. "try and talk to her" and i was like , me trying to do that is what brought this to a head. She doesn't listen.

I do have to wonder what (t's) family knows about all this, it has been four months or so since I have seen them so it would be noticable by now and I never even got an acknowledgement from (j and r) when I sent them the card to congratulate them on the birth of the baby. Oh well. People know where to bloody find me. It is interesting i felt the need to justify it....

Anyway, I am sorry this entry is not lighter reading, but I needed to vent.

I am looking forward to my road trip. Although I am having second thoughts about hiring a car for it or not. May be safer to get the bus up......

I am going to the Boy From Oz next month as well which is pretty cool, looking forward to that.  I also was successful in my application for the social committee at work as well which is nice. Found this out on Thursday. We will see how it goes. Time off the phones which ic cool, although I have been getting that a lot lately. We had a hoax I found the other day as well so we had to get the analysts to get it shut down. If felt good knowing that what you are doing is meaningful and important to the company and in this case the public.   

 

Jul 10, 2006 at 13:13 o\clock

Try Hard. STOP

weird that the url keeps changing on me....but anyways.  I really need to stop torturing myself. Read (Je) blog again tonight (Ka) had her baby. I thought they were my friends and suprisingly she has written an entry about a girl in highschool her clique did not remain in contact with and were pretty nasty to and all of a sudden she has made contact with this girl out of curiousity and how the past doesnt matter. HUH. She is a bitch.  Well its clear we don't get along at any rate.

 I wasted all my time on them when I thought they were my friends instead of standing up for myself and making friends with other people there. I know it isnt all their fault and they got sick of me venting about work however I got sick of being the thrid wheel when we went out and they bitched just as much. Part of me wishes I could turn back the clock and that I had not wated so much effort on a useless friendship path. I do regret that things turned out like it. But I am not going to force a relationship they don't want. I remember trying to talk to them about it and they refused. Not much I can do if the cunts didn't value the friendship enough to try and work it out.

I am fed up with being lonely though, I really am. I am sorry if this sounds like a miserable entry, I am just really lonely. I would love to have someone special TO take on my road trip.....It is exciting, but there is still a void and I am not getting younger. I need to realise that I am not going to be in my 20s forever.

I had a great night out at the work farewell on Friday...and I like the people at work....just wish I wasnt so resigned to being alone. Yes, we have established I can do things on my own and thats all great and kudos and all that jazz, but there has to be something more.

Part of me is afraid of being hurt again because I have had a lot of shit thrown at me, I just want peace and to be happy.

 

Jul 8, 2006 at 04:18 o\clock

More Farewells

More farewells at work. Had a party last night for one of the guys that has just moved to a different department. He worked in Internet Banking for 6.5 years so it was a pretty major milestone. Anyways, I am at home now recovering as I have a slight hangover due to the amount of vodka lemon and limes I consumed.

We have two more people leaving soon as well. One of them started training when I did. So I guess it is fair to say the turnover is quite high. Suppose that is to be expected in this type of role. I myself am probably going to leave to go to Canada next year and then the UK. Don't see the point announcing that yet or changing jobs when if i did I would only be in the new job for a matter of months and that seems pointless.

Was going to go to Williamstown, but that is going to be tomorrow instead now. I will also check out the market.

Left my umbrella at the party as well. It was raining when we walked over there, so we all huddled under it and I forgot about it when I sat down for the party.

All in all a very fun night. A good turnout of people. Bosses included. Went with a few of the girls from work. We had drinks at (C's) appartment beforehand and some food to eat. Headed across at about 8pm and I left at around 10.30. Have to get someone to text me the time I start on Monday as I forgot to check the roster.

Had an interesting chat on msn with one of my co workers, and apparently a few people thought something was going on with me and one of the guys at work......he liked me apparently except that he seems to be with one of the other girls now - they have been sitting together all week and were seen out one night a little while back. I just found that weird, because my friend asked "oh whats going on with you and....by the way. I think you have competition" and my response was like "huh?" and she was like " He and....have been sitting together and sending emails back and forth and they were seen at Belgian Beer Gardens" to which I say "good for them". Her response was, " oh, I thought you guys were together" and I replied "not as far as I am aware". To which I was told "oh cos I kinda heard he was interested. someone mentioned something a while back" and I simply replied "I kinda twigged he was, but I haven't wanted to give him the wrong idea", 

That was pretty much the extent of it, but bloody hell. How have people had the impression we were an item.

It just makes me wonder what this boy has said to give this impression to others or is it simply stupid gossip. The point is, I have no idea where it generated from. Maybe I am too friendly or just plain naive at picking up on this stuff.

Anyways, enough from me for now. I am just enjoying having the day to myself. Left the heater on last night. Thankfully it turns off intermittently, still a little silly to do. But the apartment was nice and warm when I got home. Enough for now. More later.

 

Jul 7, 2006 at 02:19 o\clock

Dead Mans Chest

Pirates of the Caribean - Dead Mans Chest...

Saw this last night. First night out at the cinemas so it was packed.

Yeah the movie seems kinda silly, but the effects were awesome and the characters are pretty. I guess you can consider it kinda like Empire Strikes Back - the middle part of the story that doesn't seems to have an endor finish but perhaps in context with the final installment it will be great. Johnny Depp is funny as Cptn Jack Sparrow and plays the part brilliantly. With more rum jokes, the film is mainly about him trying to outwit Davey Jones, who he owes the debt of his soul. 

Keira and Orlando (Elizabth and Will) are trying to gain freedom from being arrested for helping Jack Sparrow.

Ok, just an excuse to put pretty pictures in my blog maybe......but it was a good light hearted fun. Geoffrey Rush even makes an appearance again towards the end if that isn't spoiling it too much....I saw the first one when I was in Japan in 2003. So this has been while coming. There is another installment as well, but not sure when that is due out. Probably a year or so.

 

 

Jul 5, 2006 at 10:27 o\clock

did it again

left my bag in the rec room on our level at work today. Twice in a row i have abandoned my bag. Passport, rent, license and ID all there......don't know what is wrong with me. Totally forgetful, maybe it is just tiredness, maybe I am stressed about something subconsciously I dunno. But very embarrassing and feeling very relieved the rent money was still there....

scatterbrain.....

 

other than that a non eventful day. not sure if i mentioned yet but we have had all the newies start on Monday, and as there first week things have been a little hectic. Nice to see some new faces though.

My weekend is decided. I am getting a ferry to Williamstown on Saturday. I have lunch with dad and a party on Friday and probably just relax on Sunday and read or do not much basically.

Below is a Poem I found that struck a chord when I read it.

 

Sleep

John Fletcher.
1579–1625

COME, Sleep, and with thy sweet deceiving

    Lock me in delight awhile;

    Let some pleasing dreams beguile

    All my fancies; that from thence

    I may feel an influence

All my powers of care bereaving!

 

Though but a shadow, but a sliding,

    Let me know some little joy!

    We that suffer long annoy

    Are contented with a thought

    Through an idle fancy wrought:

O let my joys have some abiding!