Here is hoping 2006 is a lot more positive.
I have bought a printer to get my little venture into action. Spent last night printing out about 45 pictures. May do some more tomorrow on the artistic canvas type paper i bought. Fingers crossed it works. Because the cartridges and paper are expensive. So will be hiring the stall for market once I am prepared. Want to look for postcard paper as well though......There is a scanner on the printer which is just as well, because I am going to need to scan a lot of them that wern't done on digi camera. Maybe I should just do a selection at a time. It's exciting but this is probably going to take months, and patience has never been a virtue of mine.....?
Anyway, New Years resolutions.
1. Take time to relax when I need it (massage etc).
2. Try and save 100 per fortnight - 250 would be ideal but that is the minimum.
3. Spend more time with my brother.
4. Write more movie reviews/ articles.
5. Take time setting up the photography idea. Don't rush things becuase I want it to be good.
6. Concentrate at work. Focus on the task at hand. Home life is not the same as what happens at work. Try and separate the two facets of my life.
7. Possible buy a table for the apartment.
8. Accept myself for who I am warts and all, then maybe the family will.
9. Have fun - don't get pulled down/manipulated by other issues which are not your problem to deal with.
10. Be firm in your stance/opinions. Forget the contradictions. (this is my mantra for coping with mum)
11. Be proud of what I have achieved so far despite the fact there has been a lot to struggle through.
12. Treat others as you wish to be treated (this one is my mantra for coping with dad's wife.....)
I hate the fact that my parents seem pre occupied with bloody wills, and money and who has more or who gets what.... A big part of the reason mum and tom were annoyed with me is becuase THEY argued over who got the stupid couch and then all of a sudden it's my fucking fault becuase oooh she might like the couch - I had bever said a word about it, let alone even said anything about moving. I'd been home a fucking week. They all feel like I blame them well they do the same shit to me and they are just NEVER going to understand. Fine I have established that, but how am I going to get past it and find ways to cope so that it doesn't affect and control me so much. Is that not the reason I am going to bloody therapy for. Which actually annoy me in itself. Mum and bloody dad and his wife need to go. It's been 9 years for fuck sake and all of a sudden everything is my fault and I amthe one baring grudges. ARGHHHH. I guess i am the easiest scapegoat in the family aren't I. It was funny. Dad's wife needed a knife and fork when we were at lunch. She has a bad hip and had just got back from getting the food. My brother was sitting at the end of the table I was in a corner. Neither of us offered to get her a fork, which was rude I know. But dad came back and was pissed off with me for it. WHY is that MY fault. He wouldn't get upset with my brother for it oh no, only me because I am not mental. Well neither is my brother. He is doing beautifully. Maybe I sound nasty I dunno. But I am sick of feeling like this family constantly has to needle me.