Rambling

Jun 29, 2005 at 13:09 o\clock

Getting back out there....again.....

Mum is in hopsital, so have been visiting her. Had a job interview this morning and my doctors appointment. So been a little busy.

mum is ok, she was in a lot of pain and was pretty nervous about the operation. We went in with her and have visited her a few times. She comes home tomorrow. The operation went pretty well.

was up at dads on the weekend before mum went in to hopsital and also the pair of us went to visit my brother. dad's bitch of a wife was not even going to open the door when i rang the doorbell and then started in on the email mum sent to dad. They had gotten it up their noses that she was after money again, which she never did. I have been telling them this and am furious that this crap spoiled my weekend away with dad. I give up trying to get through to him. he needs to stand up for his kids at some stage. The week shit. I know he's my dad and thats why i can say it, he is spineless.

The interview went ok. I was a little nervous, but it was good to get some practice and to help get past things. I don't know if me trying to move on still is upsetting mum. What does she expect me to be doing, moping around??? I am glad she is ok. She was in pain last night and pretty groggy from the pain killers.

I have joined a book club and my holiday is at the end of next week - a little nervous but excited at the same time. Anyways...enough for now. My doctors appointment helped.  I think she wants to keep seeing me for a bit though, just not as regularly.

 

 

 

Jun 23, 2005 at 12:36 o\clock

Moving on - the new career path????

Have one more visit to the doctor this month, she is confident i will get past the setbacks, which is good i guess.

had my last visit at the careers counselling centre ACER today as well. This has been helpful in making me see why i have found the decision SOOO difficult. Mum has been good, looking all day for jobs for me pretty much.

I applied for one and am going to take some time tailoring some responses for the other stuff Mum and Tom have been very good to me considering mum is sick. She goes into hospital on Tuesday. I feel a little guilty, but this is time i need to be selfish because i don't want things to continue the way they are. I want to improve my relations with peers. I have a few friends, but really need some self esteem boosting. I would like to try teaching again perhaps - especially since the course cost me so much......i guess it's provided me with some useful skils i can apply to something else though. I really don't like the whole being a performer 24/7 that goes with the job in Japan, whilst i love the country itself.......it just got too much while i was sick and dealing with the other stuff.

I am mainly glad to be home, i am trying to get back into things agian. I don't know if this is upsetting mum at the moment, it might be but she hasn't said it is and i have been trying - hugs, massages.....it's difficult when it's not you going through it i guess and i have been panicking i am schizo.....I am not, neither doctor has said i am. I simply need to talk and have some guidance. At least i took it upon myself to go and see someone. I knew things weren't right.

Writing this has been good. I can't believe how upset i have been. It is a problem however that i can never focus on anything else once i do get upset and that kind of digs my grave for me, because i am too hurt to be rational.

Anyway, better finish up. I have a feeling things may geta bit better. YAY.

 

Jun 21, 2005 at 16:26 o\clock

Tuesday.

Mum got the results yesterday and was a little better. I am glad she is going to be ok. Everyone is. She keeps saying her body is achy, this is from the exhaustion i guess. She was at the doctors today and they want her to have her ovaries removed next week.  I think she is upset, but feels better knowing it's not cancer and its been found relatively soon. She said today she hates hospitals and i realized today, i have been to hospital a lot. My health has really not been good. Tonsils, Adenoids, Broken bones, teeth, turners - all the tests and prodding - check ups. The gastroscopy and testing which found i have celiac disease and the doctors visits in Japan -pneumonia/bronchitis, ear infection.....

I am glad mum is ok, she seems to be alot better about things today anyway.

We went to visit (t's) mum and dad which was nice. I was glad to see them. They still seem to be a bit worried about me though, which i can understand. but now is not the time to talk about it with them i guess. I just wish they would stop worrying. It feels a little patronising having everyone telling me "oh, you look well....."....I need to try and establish my self again. It is hard enough without mum telling the family and all her friends that i might be a mental case, neither doctor has actually said it yet. I am not alittle kid anymore, does the fact i went and sought counselling myself not speak for something? All i want is to foget about it and move on.

I was simply pretty overwraught because things DID NOT GET ANY SPACE. and if mum would listen it wasn't ALL NIGHT drinking binges, and at the time i did not feel there was a lot of other options for me. I did do my best to avoid them. It was alittle difficult when you get scared of what will happen if you do say no considering they had a history of violence. 

One thing i know about me is that i have always thrived on my independence, maybe to a fault. It is one of the big things i loved about living in Japan. Being able to travel wherever i want, whenever i want and having everything (ie shops and stuff) so convenient and easy to get to. Not like here in Melbourne.  

dad rang, he had forgotten about lunch today. I had a good chat to him about things, because i was upset that i had dragged mum into it when she was stressed about the blood test results. He thanked me again for "clarifying" things about the email.  He said, yeah there had been a bit of confusion. He even said this and seemed relieved when i said i was paying for stuff myselt. So they had been concerned about money, but i really shouldn't have spent so much energy on  worrying especially at a time when mum is sick, and i told dad this. I also told him i was worried i might be schizophrenic and that (t's) family know bits about what happened in Japan hasn't helped. He seemed a lot more sympathetic but said "if you are you'll get through it....there's a reason you are finding things difficult at the moment, but everyone makes mistakes...you've found out the job isn't for you".  I started crying. He also said he didn't think i was schizophrenic, but he hasn't really lived with me for the past 15 years. I said to him "there has to be something to it. It is too many people...". he still didn't seem convinced. I don't know. But the fact he kept ringing me back (three times and counting) after me asking him if he was upset, yeah i was worried, but mum hasn't had the enrgy to listen to this and i guess she is not the right person to talk to about it and i shouldn't have said anything to her. But he is my dad, and like she said i need a realtionship with him.  I asked dad why he hadn't talked to me about what happened - not only that but he didn't call me when he knew mum was going out of her mind. he said he was waiting for me to talk to him about it.

I gave mum a hug tonight and actually cried. Almost losing her, and the reality of how scared she was kind of hit home. I am hurt i can't talk to her about the sex stuff. The doctor i saw in Tokyo thinks it was abuse, but mum tells me to take responsiblity for my own actions. At the time it wasnt as simple as that. Now all i want is to get on with things and have that shit left alone. I don't know if this a normal reaction....

i have two more doctors appointments. She is helpful, but i am a little scared. She hasn't said i am sick yet, but i am guessing i am not well if she wants to see me again. Perhaps i just have a lot of history and baggage to tell before she makes the assessment, i don't know. It was interesting she said she wasn't sure she had been sympathetic enough to what i was telling her. Our last session was about dad and the family. She said she liked the way i talked about what happened and found me "engaging".

I guess tomorrow will be about the shock of this weekend.

Jun 19, 2005 at 10:49 o\clock

Sunday Blues

Mum has just found out she may have ovarian cancer. So the family is in a bit of shock.  I rang to see if she was ok and left a message, she rang back and wanted to be picked up. I went with (t) to the doctors and to pick her up from work. She is in utter shock. The family has been calling to see if she is ok. I am upset but i dont think it has quite sunk in yet. I am doing my best to be supportive and show i care. She must be going through absolute hell with worry, waiting for the results. She's been really good to me. I know she worries out of concern but sometimes it's a little too much.  I cried alone in my room about it, but i haven't cried in front of her yet. I don't really want to create more worry for her. I want her to be ok, but i can tell she is pretty devastated and shocked. So is Tom.

SAT

I am a little upset today because mum seems to have upset dad and his wife again about money because of what happened in the past with my brother. I am also concerned dad has spoken to my brother about the boys phone message and the weekend and mum's email. The phone message made the realtionship with dad which was already strained bad enough without them worrying that i was asking for money again. So yes this was concerning me.

None of my family actually know ALL of what happened. They haven't really asked me - i am not sure why, is it that they are waiting for me to talk or do they just not care.  I did have other guy friends in Japan, i wasn't thinking they were all after me, it was only TWO that i ever felt a problem with, but i think at the same tiime i was a little curious.

I am tired and my brain is overworked, i am upset mum is sick and i am tired and frustrated at feeling like the mediator between mum and dad and her telling everyone i am mentally ill before i got home did not bloody help and dad reading the emails from mum saying how worried she was about me. She doesn't have the time or patience to listen to me at the moment which i am finding frustrating. No one here was in Japan with me.

I am not saying people are out to get me, its instinct and a perception of his reaction to what i said when we went for the walk to get the bread...at the time this comment was out of frustration. a 10 hour drive whilst on treanquilizers and just after a 10 hour flight and mum telling me to look for a job, the first night i am back in the country probably didnt help. "i can't deal with mum worrying so much, i have had to change the holiday three times so far. I pretty much had it booked and she wasn't happy..... and i would prefer to stay with grandma not (i and p). He was upset, i could tell, but oh i dont have the energy to try telling mum this anymore.  It doesnt even matter. What is more important is that mum is sick. I am EXHAUSTED which is probably why my mind is overactive none of the doctors have said i am mental. I am simply exhausted and have alot of baggage.

I am tired of being lonely and would love to have someone be there for me EMOTIONALLY for once.  I feel guilty thinking like this when mum is sick, because i love her, but i can't help feeling a little frustrated. I am not a baby, they don't need to treat me with kid gloves.

Jun 16, 2005 at 13:15 o\clock

Still more to go.

At the same time, uni was about to finish and it was serious job hunting time. I had applied to go overseas and teach for a year in Japan. I got the job. Mum was worried but excited for me. I had never travelled before and wanted to go. Mum's partner had been a referee for me. It had not been difficult to get the job.

I was still a little upset about the fight with the girls i had rented with and also had to pack up my room because mum and her partner would be moving while i was away and my brother had taken a teaching job in the country. I had sold him my car. I had been car shopping with dad as the first car had died after getting it back from being stolen.  He and his partner had also decided to move again while i was away.

My time in Japan for the most part i enjoyed. I was around people my own age, and able to enjoy seeing a new country and take off for weekends whenever i wanted. The same couldn't be said for my teaching however, except for the fact that i was not told i was getting complaints. This upset me a great deal when i found i had been given a false observation sheet. I felt embarrassed and angry at being lied to. It kind of soured the experience a little. I came home and dwelled on it a little. I missed Japan and the convenience, the familiar faces and being away from the family troubles. Four months later had the new job lined up and was ready to head back again. My mother and her partner had been to Vietnam during my first time in Japan and they had recently gone back there. My father and brother were still in town, but i was living out at mum and her partners place, my brother was now living at my mothers house. He had slit his wrists while i was away after the family cat had been hit by a car. I had offered to come home, but mum told me not to. I spoke to her on the phone and dad. they were all being very supportive. I even rang my brother. He was still recovering when i got home and looking for another job. This process was another thing that would upset him and make him depressed as well.

I will continue this later.

 

Jun 16, 2005 at 12:34 o\clock

there's more

As i was saying, things got nasty. My brother had a breakdown. I had trouble in highschool because i felt self consious and shy about my appearance - more so because of having turners. I even remember writing a story about it in english which i used for an assessment in VCE. It got full marks.

Anyways, my brother has a breakdown, I crash the car a few days later this is all whilst i am studying for my exams in year twelve. My dad and his wife start wanting to stop paying for child support. I find out  four years later that the whole of my dads family were encouraging him to do it. Mum was a wreck and ended up on anti depressants. I wasn't coping and was angry because i got poor exam results in two very important subjects (Chemistry and Literature) the assessments before that had been good....I move on campus to university to get away from things because home life is difficult and i think it might help me concentrate on my studies a bit more. I am also angry at mum for having taken a holiday for two months with her partner whilst i was in year 11. My brother and i didn't get along. I was also jealous because mum had been incredibly supportive of my brother and he had all the quiet time and space he needed to study - nothing was to much, he was smart and expected to do well. At the time i resented the perceived lack of support i got during the same two crucial high school years. I was overall a good student except when it came to maths.

Living on campus i came to decide i didn't want to study nursing. I hadn't had too many friends in highschool and things seemed to be going well socially - i had a 'Group' as opposed to one or two good friends. Things turned sour because i developed a crush on one of the boys, which wasn't reciprocated.

I changed courses after almost having a nasty car accident. People were supportive of the choice, but i was a little upset. My marks were fine. I just didn't want to do it.

I stopped getting along with some of the people i was living with and things really turned sour when i changed lodges the next year. We had a pretty big falling out - they had been ignoring my phone calls and the door when i came to visit. I was incredibly hurt by this, which resulted in me moving home and cutting off all contact with the group.

I lived at home again for about a year and started writing for the uni paper and volunteering and made a good friend there (L), who was doing media studies. It provided me with some social activities to get back into the swing of things as i was feeling incredibly lonely after severing ties with the group of people i had lived with. Moving back home was alright for the most part, although i know there were reservations as things had been pretty tense before this.

I decide to move out again eventually during my last year of university after i hear one of the girls has a spare room. My mum's partner had also moved in the week before i moved out as they were renovating his house, getting ready to move in together once it was finished.

For the most part moving out seems to go well. Again it gave me contact and a network with people my own age. So i was happy. The living arrangement again didn't work out and resulted in me leaving on rather bad terms with the two girls i was living with. (D) one of the girls had arranged for two other people to move in, didn't want to continue living with me and basically didn't know how to tell me. Her best friend moved in a month after i moved out. She had actually wanted to move in at the same time i grabbed the room, so i was a little hurt. 

 

 

 

Jun 15, 2005 at 04:44 o\clock

Moving on

It is interesting how much more i am starting to remember about what happened now that i am talking about it with someone who can put a professional perspective on what happened. I even had diary entries while things were going on. People keep telling me i shouldn't have kept going out with the boys, the problem was i hadn't at the time remembered the extent of things they were saying. Some of what they were doing at the time i thought, its ok, they seem to stop when you tell them or, oh thats just them mucking around, but they WEREN'T. The other teachers in the office KNOW this and it was still allowed to keep going. The shit teaching was a separate issue, but it was little difficult when the boys were doing it in the office as well.

I guess my problem is that when i am upset i find it a little hard to focus on anything else. And there has been A LOT i have had to cope with. I thnk me moving away from my family has been trying to escape the family problems, but then i have problems with my peers as well. I dont think i have dealt with things properly and its time to, because i dont want to end up lonely.

Dad left when i was in grade 6. I found out the same year i had a quite serious medical problem, meaning i needed growth hormone and that i can't have children.  Academically i have always had problems with maths and was a little lonely at school. I would fake sick days a fair bit.

My brother was accepted into a prestigous school that year as well. At the time i was jealous of the attention he was getting. He had not been happy at his first high school and some teachers were worried about his fascination for violence and blood.

We would visit my father every second weekend, i found this a little unsettling. I didnt like having to cart all my growth hormone and medication around. I was starting to feell like a guinea pig i had been to so many doctors whilst in grade 6 and year 7. Apart from that I was enjoying my first year at high school. Had made a couple of good friends. i never told anybody about the growth hormone treatment. I was angry at mum for telling some of her friends and i don't think dad understood the implications of what had been diagnosed. We have not really talked about it much apart from "you'll be right".

My brother started going to church once he moved high schools. Had a rough settling in period but seemed to like the school and made some good friends.

My father and mother both met new partners. Dad got remarried and my brother did not like her. We would have fights pretty much every weekend we went to see him. She had a daughter living with her and my father as well.

In year seven i had my tonsils out as well. More trips to the doctors. My best friend moved schools at the end of year 7 and i found things a little difficult after that. year 8 was ok. I made friends with two of the boys in my level, but one of my girl friends seemed jealous of the friendship and poisoned it a little.

In year 9 i made a new group of friends, but they had a falling out with one of the girls (R) and as she was the one who introduced me to the group i kind of felt a little isolated by them for supporting her. But i tried to stay loyal.

A lot of my social high school time was spent dealing with a problem i had with one girl (ka). We essentially didn't get along and she used to exclude me from things which would upset me terribly because it was a group of  four and the other three liked me, but they would always do what she said.

In year 12 it was exam time. My father had remarried by this stage. I had been appy for them I even encouraged them to take a honeymoon. My brother had met a girl and shortly after this he had a breakdown. This is where things got nasty.

I will continue this in another entry.

 

Jun 6, 2005 at 16:36 o\clock

doctors

not much to add yet here, will write about the drs apointment later.

it was good to talk. I kind of miss the doctor i saw in tokyo though, he was easier to talk to about it because i guess he was a male. The doctor today simply said 'no more sex talk'. She wants to get to the bottom of the bigger picture i guess......But mum is shouting me a holiday which should be good to get away from things. so hopefully next time i write it is on a brighter note.  Time for a new weblog diary perhaps.

Sorry if this one is a little confusing, but my other diaries are on a ship somewhere still coming home and i needed to get it out of me. It is surprising how much more detail i remember now. I was even writing things down after they happened. I am angry but moving past this is probably for the best. It was quite obvious the company didn't like the fact i was visiting my support network, the fact that so many people knew - indicating JUST how upset i WAS gettting and nothing was being done, and the fact that i had something over three people pretty high up in management (the email). The fact they were covering up things after i resigned made that pretty obvious. What happened were real events i didnt imagine what those two did and to isolate me and then make it the running joke once i resigned just made me sick. Why would someone put themselves through it again. Anyway, onto bigger brighter things.

Jun 6, 2005 at 04:23 o\clock

your best to start from the very beginning.

this diary wont make sense if you don't

i started it on the 4th of June and there are about 5 entries for that day.

Being home is not all it's cracked up to be, i miss (p) in particular because he is the one who made me confront the issues i was facing.  I think i have a rough road ahead of me for a while unfortuantely, but i will get on top of things and put the past in the past. It"s just difficult at the moment that's all.  But writing about it has been kind of therapeutic, i need to let go of it and move on and this has helped.

i miss being in japan. I LOVED having my independence and not having to deal with the family problems, but i need to face them at some stage i guess, which is what (p) tried to get me to do.

I like writing and have been doing heaps of that lately, am even planning on getting the aikido/kendo article i was doing while over there for (d and e) up and running. FINALLY. I have talked about it for months, but gotten too side tracked by things.

The aikido/kendo will be another blogg. So will my story of (p).  

 

Jun 6, 2005 at 04:16 o\clock

Home again

HOME AGAIN

The flight home was a bit of a blur. I watched two movies but was not really concentrating. I am still too upset thinking about what has happened.  I cried a little and tried to get some sleep.

It is a relief to be back home in some ways but i am also a little disappointed. I'm going to miss my independence and having my own place, but it's going to take me a while to get back on my feet.

I am on tranquilizers which mum is not happy about and having been to the doctors they want me to cut down on them. At the time iwas too upset at the first harrassment being made a running joke under my nose and not even realising it until my old boss and old city confirmed the "rumour" mill for me.

Anyway, will keep you posted. I am hoping to settle back into things. There are some family issues i need to deal with as well and i really need to decide what i want as a career. I guess i did learn something positive from this and at the least something positive came of it for the company as well, they might be better prepared for handling something like this next time. But at the moment i am a bit of a train wreck.

I have a holiday to see the grandparents for a bit with my father which should be good. But i am 26 and starting to hear the clock ticking in terms of career. Finding the answer is not going to be easy, my friend (p) already told me this, but there is a lot of emotional baggage i need to sort out first.

I know there is two sides to every story, but all i ever wanted was for the harrassment issue to be left alone in the new office and be able to do my job but they were too worried of the potential damage i could do if i actually DID say something. After what i went through the isolation and bullying and then to make the harrassment the running joke was just sick.........and they wonder why i needed to see a counsellor and couldn't handle being the only chick in the office.

Jun 5, 2005 at 08:37 o\clock

part 6

My boss is down and seems to be hesitant to want to talk with me. But she
sits down gives me a gloating look and says teasingly and i MEAN this
"it's
>a completely different staff....". So i know the rehash/ running joke is true.
>I say the wrong thing about laying all the cards on the table - my
>intention was to get her to be honest because i know people havent been and i dont really understand what happened. She sees my anti depresents on the table and leaves after we exchange some harsh words. She tells me she moved me to give me a chance, which i dont believe and aks why i talked about it in my new office - i didn't and the only person who knows this for sure is me, the students and the other teachers themselves but they havent directly
>admitted it, but since my old boss has already told me, I am reminded of his words "you've walked into two unfortunate situations....." . I tell the boss that i think it is sick if she is making what happened in the first office a joke. "i tell her, if you honestly think being given a choice between punching and having your crutch grabbed is funny..." and she goes yeah it's hysterical. Shortly after this she leaves.
>At the very least it is bullying because i am being told by (M) to use
>different stairwells to avoid running into the new chick.
>(S) rings me while i am having breakfast, to talk about the new tenant. The
>landlords name comes up in conversation and as i mentioned before, the landlord comes in with the tenant
speaking
>only japanese. I say "nice to meet you (finally)" in japanese" and she smiles uncomfortably.  The next day she speaks english well enough
to handle the water bill payment and wish me a nice flight at the least.
(C) from (city name) also comes up to check on things while the tenant is there, she was supposed to pick me up the day i arrived and didn't.
>Something doesnt add up - the wild goose chase for the car 'but it was right in front of you' - neither of them were going to help me that day, (Ia) not coming to my birthday party and the fact he was laughing at me when i started arriving at 10.30 again. I honestly feel like they are finding excuses to get me into trouble and since they have influence with the boss, they can say whatever they want. No one ever sat down to tell me.
If i was being fired for bad teaching they never sat down and told me this. I know they invented a couple of complaints after the personality quiz becuase if frightened them i was talking about the email.
>Things were just nasty.
>The day I resigned (M) and (Na) took the new chick downstairs and told her everything about me and what happened in my old city, simply because they wanted to get in first . I can only tell
this
>from the fact that when the topic of movies (something happened with
the
>boys at the movies remember) came up later that day in the office she
gave
>me a sympathetic look and she actually texted (P) to check up on me.
>It's like the management is simply panicked about what i could say and
>trying to beat me to it instead of leaving it around. Little things
like
>saying 'i forget' seemed to make people react with a gulity
conscience.
>
>I have finally collected my last pay and am away from it, but it has
been a
>difficult seven months.  But I am suspicious about a lot of things. I
am
>also angry that i wasnt at least given a chance to be moved away from
the
>fact everyone knew about the harrassment at the very least. Every time
i
>tried dealing with the bosses daughter she wasnt honest with me - i
put
>this down to her name being on the email.
>
>I am sorry it is such a long account, but to me little things dont add
up -
>being told i could only apply for  3 months of guitar lessons, not
putting
>the water bill in my name. The fact the staff were busy doing
something
>dodgy with the health insurance while i was off for being emotionally
>overwraught. It at the very least was simply a situation where i would not have been able to do anything right. My conversations with my old boss who even acknowledged when i rang to say goodbye "it would have been simpler if you'd gone back to (country name)......i gave you some bad advice last time you were down (which was golden week)".
>
>To me it feels a little planned - she wasn't harrassed, she was moved
to
>two offices and she still didnt work out. Well its a little difficult
when
>the other teachers have barely had a conversation with me and things
have
>been this hostile. Not all of this seems a coincidence - getting in
trouble
>for arriving 'late' when it is the same thing that happened to the
office
>staff. I was told it was ok. Which reminds me of another conversation i overheard between (Ia) and (M) when she had just taken over about the coffee fight and they both looked at me and gave a little startled reaction.

They have never spent time with me or included me to know if there IS or WAS any improvement. It was difficult when it was the bosses daughter i was having the problem with and she didnt want me making friends with anyone in the company. 7 months of this crap and i am still dwelling on things and a mess. 

Jun 4, 2005 at 12:05 o\clock

teaching experience part five

> I invite the other teachers to my birthday and there seems to be an
> uncomfortable atmosphere in the air (By) says he is busy with (L). (Ia) says
> he will come, I also invite the staff (St and Mi and Mk). Two of them say
> they will come.
>
> It is during this week that i receieve the health insurance letter, but i
> did not open it at this stage.
> The night of my birthday I meet (e) at the train station and tell her how
> isolated I am feeling.
> She tells me  - "make friends outside, but you don't seem to be able to do
> that".
> We head to the bar (Mk) arrives and we meet another group of people one of
> whom is also having a birthday party.  I go and meet (k) and (kr) who are
> now an item. I take them to the bar. Everybody i invited from my old city is
> there and (M) the new girl and (P) are there, he has also invited some of
> his friends one or two (Ni and Jy) who i have met one night in april when he
> invited EVERYBODY including the other teachers of my company although noone
> came. (M) had a friend (Lu) coming to visit and i ran into her as i was
> going to get something to drink for (P's) waiting for him to arrive. All the
> teachers of my company call him to say they arent coming.
>
> Anyway I detect (m) is slightly angry at me she says "how is work?" I say
> "fine", she gives me a strange look and goes "yeah?".  I have a conversation
> with (Ni) he is going back to America and I say I am enjoying myself and
> tell him my family are planning to visit in August. (M) gives an annoyed
> sigh at this. I go to have a friendly chat with (Kr) and she asks me if the
> other teachers are coming. I tell her that (Ia) said he would come, and that
> reminds me so I call him but get no answer.
>
> We sing Karaoke most of the night after some dart playing. I am sitting next
> to (M) most of the night and singing away and then move seats and I am
> sitting next to (d) who is busy making out with someone. I ask (Kr) to
> choose a song for me. Some of the others join in. We head off soon after.
> (M) glares at me as she walks out.
> (P) and his friends stay at the bar. We go to a third bar which (e) meets us
> at later after not being able to find my apartment.
> I am detecting that (m) is angry at me when i am around (k) - note he is one
> person who was a witness to most of the harrassment and could back up a fair
> bit of the situation. She pulls me up to dance and throws/pushes me at one
> of the bar men, he starts trying to dance quite closely at which she gives
> me a strange look to imply "what are you doing". I back away and go and sit
> down with (k) again.
>
> She also seems annoyed when i talk to (Kr) she asks them both to stay in her
> apartment that night and glares at me. We have left (e) behind as she wants
> to stay and talk to the bar owners. I feel terrible and we stop on the way
> back to call her. (M) keeps walking but seems angry. We get back to the
> apartment eventually and (m) is still up we also see (p) and a friend of
> his. (Kr) needs to go to the toilet so we walk past and head to my apartment
> and i catch another evil look from (m) as they head into my place. I say
> something quietly to (k) while (kr) is in the toilet because i feel like
> something is up "I feel like a scapegoat" I say, but you were there "you saw
> most of it" to which he goes "i know....dont worry everything is
> fine....there's no problem, you're birthday was a good night".
> We go for breakfast after getting dressed. (d) has met us by then and we are
> to bring (m) back some McDonalds i kind of laugh at her and giver her a look
> meaning "you're going to have to open the door". I see (d) off at the train
> station after telling her about things. I bring up the feelings of isolation
> (j) is allowed to get on with things why can't i....it's too hard to get
> away from when the whole bloody new office knows about it and it just
> seems to keep being brought up". She encourages me to quit - give two weeks
> notice and see how you feel".
>
> The environment at work is hostile, at least i feel like it is. I arrive and
> (Ia) doesn't even apologise for not coming to the birthday party.  This is a
> tuesday and the area management is also down. I know something is up as
> none of the teachers are talking to me and the boss of my culture centre
> comes and asks if everything is ok. i ask to have a coffee with (m), she is
> hesitant at first but I give her a serious look as if to say "it's what you
> want" to which she nods.
>
> We sit down and have coffee and I say to her
> "at the risk of exacerbating things even further" to which she shakes her
> head, but i think she is lying. I continue " I am not sure exactly what is
> going on but I have actually had a word to (ma) about whats going on here
> and he admitted the yuki told the staff and that the teachers were told
> about my old city....I can't help the fact that people know... i have a
> reputation to live down i have to accept that". She replies "...you have
> noooooo reputation like THAT, let me tell you".  I continue and say "I feel
> like people are reacting to everything i do, it's little things like asking
> the date..I know people here know". She lies to me and says "no, the
> teachers finding out would be unprofessional of me". She continues " i don't
> talk to Na about it" i know this is a lie from the whole "crazy" and "stop
> it Na" incident and the dinner with (Yr) that she does and i haven't been
> theone who did it.
> We talk about who knows an she says " I know, management knows, and the
> people in the meeting at (.....) know, (jo) knows because you told us
> that night remember?" I say "yes". I say I don't want everybody knowing and
> I don't want to talk about what happened anymore" and she says "tell me the
> whole story..i only now some...it was totally like harrassment right". I say
> "it's a separate issue and i want it dead as much as you do. I am not
> running around trying to get everyone to quit ot turn the whole world
> against (j)". "i know" she says and smiles.
> I also add "I'm not an evil person...you have been panicking around me since
> (ne) observed me" she denies this, but i can tell i am right. She couldn't
> make eye contact with me that day. I say the other teachers seem worried"and
> she says "that you might use things against them". and i also add "I am
> sorry if I have upset you somehow, its not been intentional, but some of it
> has been to bait or test to see if you are actually worried about the email,
> I have no intention of suing or anything of the sort...". she says "i know"
> and smiles. Her mother had been worried about this
> when i was in sendai for the kids training so i knew it was partly true,
> they were trying to keep me happy, but i probably wasn't getting renewed.
> But i still wanted to know what was going on.
> She cuts me off and changes the topic.
>
> Instinct tells me that from what happened to (Br) that my birthday party no
> show by the teachers wasn't a coincidence.  I say to her "not everything i
> am doing is deliberate...but i think too many people know and the gossip is
> going around in circles". She tells me to relax and the conversation changes
> to more menial things. She tries to reassure me that nobody knows, which i
> know is a lie by the way they react simply to words like christmas or movie.
> I head back for class. (Ia) looks at me and gives me a disappointed 'hi'. I
> say nothing.
>
> The next day I call headquarters because i know (m) is lying to me, but i cant call her mother because its the bosses daughter i am having a problem with
> and i am tired of trying to get a straight answer out of her when i do ask
> her. I speak to (Ne - who's name is on the email) and tell him "look i don't
> know what you are hearing, but if you think i am running around threatening
> to quit again, it's not actually true I have never said anything of the
> sort. I feel like everything I am doing is being construed against me" to
> which he says there's no problem in the classroom"  He also adds "perhaps
> the other teachers are set in there ways" I simply go "sure", and he adds
> "you're happy right?" I reply with a terse "yes".
>
> I get back that evening and things have changed. The atmosphere is a bit
> better the staff seem pleased for me. The teachers seem ok, but things are a
> little awkward.
>
> We have a teachers meeting the following day and the tension between (m) and
> myself is quite obvious and its is obvious people in the room know about our
> discussions. Especially when the words pro development day and the name (ne)
> comes up as he is moving back home in August. I had lost a student (Iz)
> which i contribute to the fact that i was privvy to the knowledge she was
> sleeping with (Ia) - this is because (Br) told me while we were at the
> restaurant.
> Later they are joking "when is "Br" going to leave the office" - perhaps
> hinting at the fact that because i knew the same information i was disliked
> just as much.
> I leave for my culture centre shortly afterwards.
>
> That weekend I have a new lesson to teach I arrive for the first time in a
> while at 10.20 am
> and (Ia) arrives after me. He seems surprised to see me there and i notice
> him look at my keys strangely.
> Later that day I have a lesson to teach which the student is supposed to
> pick me up for. (Ia) had said he would walk me down. I ask (mh) where to go
> to meet the car and she tells me she doesn't know. this to me now seems a
> lie - she works there every saturday, she must know. I ask (Ia) as he walks
> out of a classroom and he gives me a long speel  mentioning an alley way he
> says it could be a mazda or it could be a station wagon. I go outside
> looking for the car and can't find it. I go back up twice and tell (Mh) that
> i can't find the car. (Ia) points his head out and says "he's right there
> and shows me the mazda" I apologise a few times feeling very frustrated at
> the tension that has been going on with all the teachers and he says "it's
> your problem with (mh), take it up with her.
> (mh) is on the phone to (st and management) I go back down the car has gone,
> so i come back up and (Ia) says "right in front of your face and you
> couldn't even see it, he's driven off". I am getting extremely upset by this
> I apologise and he says "don't get me involved in whats going on".
> I go downstairs looking again. I see the car driving off again and run after
> it and finally catch up to the car. My student from my last class had been
> there watching all of this commotion.
> Neither (Ia or Mh) actually told me to simply wait downstairs which is where
> the car always waits. They were being deliberately unhelpful. "i don't know"
> and "oh its.............".
>
> I come back from the lesson and (O - the manager of my culture centre) is
> there. I burst into tears and he and (mh) take me into another room. I have
> a lesson starting at 3. The student and her mother saw me crying just before
> i went to a separate room. I am crying a lot and (Ia) comes and talks to me.
> I have a go at him and say " i can't win, damned if i do and damned if i
> don't ", he says "can you teach a lesson? that's all that matters". and I
> say "the only way for you to prove I am not mouthing off would be to ask the
> students and people themselves...I'm sorry i went out with Br (because to me
> that seemed to be what this was about, i was getting the same treatment and
> isolation as him)".  In response (Ia) replies "i don't know what you are
> talking about".  I knew he was lying here because he had admitted it to me
> the saturday after the hanami party as i have noted.
> I continue that "if this is about (kr) she rang me, not the other way
> around". I had kind of twigged something was up here because the office
> manager gave me a funny look when i walked home alone with the new chick but
> again he denied knowledge. He went to teach his class I cried for a few more
> minutes went to teach and still burst into tears in front of the student but
> progressed through the lesson.
>
> That weekend (e) came down and I told her about the fight I had with (Ia)
> and crying in front of the students and she basically told me "you're
> leaving - write out the resignation tomorrow". I agreed. There was no point
> if i was crying in front of students. So i did this the following day.
>
> That Tuesday i went to work and asked the staff for a fax number to the head
> office. I had printed out two originals. I kept one and left the
> faxed copy on (Ms) desk. (Mh) came running in minutes later with my health
> insurance note saying it would take about two weeks. I gave the staff a look
> as if to say - don't tell me you weren't prepared for this already" and the
> staff manager nodded".
>
> Things basically got worse after that. I got no response or acknowledgement
> about the resignation whatsoever but i could tell they were pissed about it.
> They didn't like being made to look like fools and basically told me so.
> However i did not understand the problem when everyone had already been told
> i was leaving by (M). I was angry however because the words "I quit" had
> never actually come out of my mouth and they had nothing in writing until
> this day.
>  Sortly after this i was accused of throwing out a teachers gas bill, which if i did do i have no recollection of - the mail box had no lock it could have been anybody.

> It was unfortunate that the new teachers welcome party was coming up as
> well. The teachers managed to get there own back orchestrated a little by
> (S) in order to cover up for the new teacher who had twigged something
> pretty awful was going on from the minute she arrived.
> I arrive back from my day at the culture centre and (Ia) and (By) and (M)
> walk in angry at me. I am unsure why as i have not been in the office all
> day. (Ia) says hello to (Ba) but not to me. I am reading a book
> (Ia) almost drops his books and i ask if he is ok to which he gives me an
> angry (you bitch) look.
>
> The next day i have a sneaking suspicion crosses my mind that they have made
> 2nd harrassment claim to cover things up. (By) walks in and aks me about his
> tatoo "was he gentle" to which i smile and make a connection
> to what happened in my old city, i had complained "it's in the office as well".
> (Ia) arrives and is angry at me (By) looks at us both and gives me an angry
> look and I look at him 'whats going on?'.
> They start talking and i think well if i have done nothing wrong at i catch
> (Ia) out when i talk to him about australia and give him a questioning look.
> He isn't angry at me because he responds and then gets look of being found
> out and then he and (By) look at each other. I turn away later that night i
> get back in the office and they are talking to me normally but oviously
> feeling guilty about something and (By) even gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> I can also tell by the fact the new chick seems angry at me and they will
> not talk to me in front of her or if (M) is around.  You would have to be in
> the office to understand how i mean this.
>
> By is going to the city where headqurters is the night of the farewell party which i also connect
> to reversing the gossip chain of who i told in headquarters branch about what happened -
> (By) is friends with (mr) so it is likely he has told him.
> I walk into the office that evening and (Ia) is gloating when he looks at me
> and so is (M). (By) gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> Again I am only suspicious because of indirect comments and peoples
> reactions and knowing the politics i know i have stirred up trouble by not
> dealing with (m) directly anymore.
> But (P) in my apartment building tells me i am right.
>
> At the welcome party i am sat next to three students who are supposed to
> have complained - yet they bought me birthday presents and signed up again
> and hug me at the end of the night. One of them is sleeping with (Ia). I am
> also sitting next to (Ia) and he and (Na) wink at each other as they sit
> down and then look at me. So i know something is going on. (Ia) moves seats
> just before the end of the night.
>
> We leave and go to (p's) birthday party afterwards. I leave the party about
> 1 i think. I hear the next morning (By) showed up shortly after i left.
> I ring the boss after the morning after the welcome party and she will not
> let me come to headquarters to meet her face to face.
> Things have simply gotten very nasty since the resignation and my instincts
> tell me they are making up a 2nd claim.
> (m) starts joking in front of the new chick about how (By) is funny when he
> drinks - he does "hey baby" to everyone. I mention "i have never seen him
> drunk, he's never done that to me" she gives me a smirk and the new chick
> looks at me strangely. Later at lunch (m) says i am the running joke, so i am pretty sure it is what they have done and by now feeling pretty disgusted that they would make a joke of the first office.
>
> Teachers find out i am seeing a counsellor which creates more panick - my
> medical certificate says the words emotionally overwraught. From here things
> get worse.
> They definitely think i am up to something and from the way they are taking
> copies of everything and the incidences with the health insurance i now
> think something strange has happened. They are defintley worried
>
> I go to my old city  and tell them i think something is up. It has obviously
> reached back to my old city
> because (kr) my replacement has heard. She is friends with the boss (Ss) son
> and in contact with (m).
>
> Who is checking up on me to see if i am in my new city or not quite regularly.
> Even my old boss sounds relieved when i tell him i am in mynew city.
> Well if going to myold city was a problem then why did no one say anything.
> Hoever it is the implication i am receiving.
>
> My boss is down and seems to be hesitant to want to talk with me. But she
> sits down gives me a gloating look and says teasingly and i MEAN this "it's
> a completely different staff....". So i know the rehash/ running joke is
> true.
> I say the wrong thing about laying all the cards on the table - my intention
> was to get her to be honest because i know people havent been and i dont
> really understand what happened. She sees my anti depresents on the table
> and leaves after we exchange some harsh words. She tell me she moved me to
> give me a chance, which i dont believe and aks why i talked about it in my new office -
> i didn't and the only person who knows this for sure is me, the students and
> the other teachers themselves but they havent directly admitted it, but
> since my old boss has already told me, I am reminded of his words "you've
> walked into two unfortunate situations....." . I tell the boss that i think
> it is sick if she is making what happened in the first office a joke. "i
> tell her, if you honestly think being given a choice between punching and
> having your crutch grabbed is funny..." and she goes yeah it's hysterical.
> Shortly after this she leaves.
> At the very least it is bullying because i am being told by (M) to use
> different stairwells to avoid running into the new chick.
> (S) rings me while i am having breakfast about the new tenant. The landlords
> name comes up and as i mentioned before, she comes in speaking only japanese
> until the next day when she speaks english well enough to handle the water
> bill payment and wish me a nice flight at the least. (C) from shirakawa also
> comes up to check on things while the tenant is there, she was supposed to
> pick me up the day i arrived and didn't.
> Something doesnt add up - the wild goose chase for the car 'but it was right
> in front of you' - neither of them were going to help me, (Ia) not coming to
> my birthday party and the fact he was laughing at me when i started arriving
> at 10.30 again. I honestly feel like they are finding excuses to get me into
> trouble and since they have influence with the boss, they can say whatever
> they want. No one ever sat down and to tell me. If i was being fired for bad
> teaching they never sat down and told me this. Things were just nasty.
> The day I resigned (M) and (Na) took the new chick downstairs and told her
> everything about me and what happened in  my old city. I can only tell this from
> the fact that when the topic of movies (something happened with the boys at
> the movies remember) came up later that day in the office she gave me a
> sympathetic look and she actually texted (P) to check up on me.
> It's like the management is simply panicked about what i could say and
> trying to beat me to it instead of leaving it around. Little things like
> saying 'i forget' seemed to make people react with a gulity conscience.
>
> I have finally collected my last pay and am away from it, but it has been a
> difficult seven months.  But I am suspicious about a lot of things. I am
> also angry that i wasnt at least given a chance to be moved away from the
> fact everyone knew about the harrassment at the very least. Every time i
> tried dealing with the bosses daughter she wasnt honest with me - i put this
> down to her name being on the email.
>
> I am sorry it is such a long account, but to me little things dont add up -
> being told i could only apply for  3 months of guitar lessons, not putting
> the water bill in my name. The fact the staff were busy doing something
> dodgy with the health insurance while i was off for being emotionally
> overwraught. It at the very least was simply a situation where i would not
> have been able to do anything right. My conversations with my old boss who
> even acknowledged when i rang to say goodbye "it would have been simpler if
> you'd gone back to australia......i gave you some bad advice last time you
> were down (which was golden week)".
>
> To me it feels a little planned - she wasn't harrassed, she was moved to two
> offices and she still didnt work out. Well its a little difficult when the
> other teachers have barely had a conversation with me and things have been
> this hostile. Not all of this seems a coincidence - getting in trouble for
> arriving 'late' when it is the same thing that happened to the office staff. I was told it was ok.

Jun 4, 2005 at 11:18 o\clock

teaching experience part 4.

the office manager was scared she'd get the blame if
> you fucked up", I ask him "why" and he says "because the staff and teachers
> were told". he later adds....."I'm sorry i really let you down.... I in turn
> ask  "why did he (j) get renewed, so many women have complained about them
> its not funny, someone is going to have to listen eventually".
> and he said "S likes J, she wanted to keep him, they (t and j) aren't here
> tonight, that says something....they're not nice people.....you can come
> here and no one would have a problem, you scared us sometimes, but
> anytime...there's no problem". He gives me a hug.
>
> Back in my new office
> No one really talks to me about the observation - Br tells me they were
> going through my files while i was gone though. I try asking (M) again a
> couple of times - once in the office and again when i visit her in her
> apartment.  I know something must be up because i have actually lost a
> wednesday night kids class, but at the same time i have signed up three new
> kids and an adult on saturdays. I seem to be making her angry simply by
> making eye contact and she doesnt want to give me much information. I get
> short answers when i ask her personal questions. and she never asks me any.
> I am not sure why she is distancing herself, but it is clear she doesn't
> want me around.
> She even seems to resent me making the effort to be friends with (Na) and
> perceives it as a political move to get a good word put in for me with (S)
> rather than sincere. They are quite good friends and I am not being accepted
> as a third basically. They take no interest in anything i say.
>
> Towards the end of april one of the teachers (Br) is leaving. He has invited
> all the teachers out to a students restaurant - mainly (Ba, By and Ia) for a
> boys night, but they decline and he asks me. I go.
> After the restaurant - singing karaoke and playing the flute we talk about
> why he is leaving - he had been interested in one of the teachers and told
> her he was attracted to her - she went to (Na) who in turn told (S) as they
> are good friends. Next, he meets a young japanese woman (who he is now going
> to marry). Her mother at the time complained to the school about the
> relationship and they weren't impressed. Her mother wrote a letter saying
> things were ok and the matter was resolved. (Ia - still boss at the time)
> told him to keep it as proof things were ok. (Br) missed a pro development
> day and afterwards (Ia) pulled him aside and told him (S) was pissed he
> didn't go and he was basically not getting renewed. Soon afterwards (S) was
> visiting (Na) for the weekend as she frequently does and (Na) called him to
> come and visit. He didnt go and he overheard (S) say "oh, i don't think Br
> is fitting in here...". After this the other teachers basically isolated him
> and stopped including him in things - this is according to him. I tell him
> about what happened to me and we have a bit of a whinge. Please note at this
> point this is a HIGHLY political company there is a foreign side and a
> japanese side shall we say and the two managers DO NOT get along.
>
> The next day at work i am given a gloating look by (M) as I am sitting at my
> desk, she is smiling or gloating looking down at me and i am not sure what
> is going on.
> I have a cigarette with (Na) on my way to work and offer to help set up for
> the hanami party.
> The next morning  (Na) and (M) hardly look at me and don't even acknowledge
> my help at the end of the day or during. Neither do the other teachers. They
> don't talk to me during the day and all back away when i try talking to
> them.  In fact i go and meet people at the bridge like a bit of a taxi
> service, i dont even get a thankyou for that.  One of the staff (Mk) had
> arrived early and the three of us were talking or at least i was talking to
> (Mk) and the other two weren't even acknowledging i was there, they simply
> talked to (Mk) or each other. I ask (Na) where they had their christmas
> party and she gets an angry look on her face but replies with a restaurants
> name.
>
> During the day i meet one of (Na's) students (Yr) she is a GP and has
> travelled quite a bit so we get talking. Na invites me out with the three of
> them. (M) glares at her.
> I overhear (M) telling the student and (By) that I am leaving. I assumed at
> the time that they meant me moving places to talk to other students.
>
> That night is (Je's) farewell party. (By) and (Ba) are there, but i dont
> talk to them much. My mum calls and i tell her i am feeling a little
> isolated and getting frustrated that (M) wont tell me what the problem is
> and that my efforts don't seem to be being acknowledged. I leave the party
> earlyish.
>
> I am intending to go to an onsen and text (Na) about where to go. I have
> also had a message from (Kr) my replacement asking me to call her to talk. I
> call her and she asks me about the situation with (t and j) I tell her a
> little bit of it hesitantly as she says that she understands where i am
> coming from the dynamic is a mess and she feels stuck in the middle and that
> she had a bad weekend.
> I end up going to visit (k) and (e) that night in my old city instead and see
> (Kr) there. We talk more during a walk to family mart. This seems to get me into to trouble as it obviously gets back.
>
> My new boss (M's) brother is coming to visit, he has been in Canada sorting out visa
> work. I know things arent ok at work because (Na) and (M) have stopped
> asking me to join them for cigarettes.
>
>
> That night i am having a cigarette as (na) and (ba) get out of a taxi and
> they laugh/look at each other knowingly and walk straight past me. Up in the
> office they ignore me and are talking about the dinner with (Na's) student
> and ignore me while i look at them as they are making plans about it.
>
> The tension is getting pretty obvious to co - workers especially (Br) and he
> advises me to try tallking with (M). I take his advice and go. This is a
> tense conversation. I ask her bluntly "I am detecting some tension with you
> me and Na", to which she lies and pretends nothing is wrong, I say - "is
> this about Br, because I have heard some gossip about why he is
> leaving". She says nothing. I ask her if people know what happened in
> (my old city) she says no, nobody knows, which i know is a lie - I can tell
> (Na) knows from her reaction to me saying the word christmas and dr. I
> say look, I appreciate the transfer i do, you know the history - which she
> did because i told her at the training and her mother had also filled her in. "
> she said i know bits and pieces of it. I say "look i want to be able to be
> open with you if there is a problem. I would like to keep my job" . She says
> things are fine i go out and meet her brother who seems angry at me also,
> but this passes.
> (Na) comes to visit as well and we make plans to meet for the student dinner
> that night. I can tell they don't want me to come.
> They also tell me they are planning on heading down to (my old city name) for a festival during golden week, which (D) had invited the whole company - all
> the branches too. The say yeah, we are meeting up in (city name), so lets go
> together. I say ok. They then start talking about (Ne) and say to me "you
> remember Ne right?" .  (his name was on the email) I simply say "yes". They
> then all start mucking around calling each other bitch.
>
> The next day at work  I am supposed to teach a class until 8.30 and we meet
> for the taxi at 8.40.
> I am sitting at the computer next to the staff. The students havent shown up
> and all of a sudden at about 8pm (St) the office manager asks me to stay
> back. I decline, saying i have a student dinner to go to with Na and M. She
> says nothing except that it is fine.
>
> I walk to the taxi with (M) and she asks me if i had a better day today. I
> say yes and again repeat that i appreciate the transfer. She says she is to
> observe me in may sometime. My old boss (Ma) and she says "yes he is a good
> AMC" (boss) and then says something which is verbatim from the email about
> him being open and direct.
> (M) asks me how work was today as we check the mail and I say (good) to
> which she gets annoyed at.
>
> (Na) seems surprised to see me at the dinner but i sit down next to (yr) the
> student. I am feeling alittle uncomfortable becuase i am detecting a lot of
> anger at me from them both, especially since they are ignoring me and only
> to talking to either (Yr) or each other. I mention that the students
> cancelled, a slight look of guilt passes over Na's face.
> I order a wine, while the others order beer. It is the first time i have
> drunk since the transfer having given up for lent and also simply because i
> just didn't feel like drinking. I had met (Yr) at the hanami party where i
> was drinking coke and she says "you haven't drunk in a while". Na says
> angrily "for lent right" and I say "yes" and give her a look to mean no i
> haven't said anything. So it is obvious she knows about the Yonezawa story
> and I have not at this stage ever said anything to her myself.
> The night continues and i do a personality test where you need to draw a
> picture. Certain things represent your family and partner and choices in
> life. (Na) and the student enjoy it (m) seems to get upset by it. I give her
> a look to say- i dont mean it like that.
>
> Note : I use this test in a couple of classes and the students seem to enjoy
> it. One of the students is sleeping with (Ia) and she cancels two weeks
> later. I use the test with one of (M's) students as well and (Na's) they
> enjoy it. I haven't twigged this is a problem yet. The students walk out
> happy, one gave me her email address. I et birthday presents from a couple
> of them and also presents from my culture centre students after golden week.
>
> The day after the dinner we help move things from (Br's) apartment into the
> new arrivals place. There is also a truck coming later to move the fridge. I
> help with the move. That afternoon she has some friends coming down to
> visit. One of the is (Jo) the young woman i spoke to first about things up
> at the business training where i had the meeting with the head boss (s). (Na and M) dont seem to want me to meet her again.

> We have coffee in (m's) apartment and they seem a little angry at me. (Na)
> tells me she is going to be away for golden week, I had previously offered
> to look after her cat for her, but she says nothing about it, so i dont
> bother to offer again. I tell them my birthday is coming up - may 7 i say,
> to which they say nothing.
> I also know that (Ia) has a friend coming down who is a psychologist.
> (By) is away in Thailand and no one can tell me when he gets back.
>
> We finish moving and shifting a few things in the apartment. The girls seem
> to want to be alone all of a sudden (Na) starts singing the words "crazy,
> crazy......"  to which (M) replies "(Na) stop it" they laugh a little. I get
> upset and go to my apartment. I tell them i have futons if the new girl
> needs them and to call me if they want them. They say nothing. As i head up
> to my apartment (m) looks at me and mimicks "cos i dont wanna be alone". I
> glare at her and get upset but head back to my apartment.
> I stay in my apartment the rest of the night. I know they don't want me
> around. Call it a hunch if you might but i think it was to stop me meeting
> (Jo) again, as she was the one who encouraged me to speak up about what was
> happening.

> (Br) has been giving me advice as well and we both decide that they are
> probably angry about going to the students restaurant - the politics - that
> student is sleeping with (Ia) and i know too much gossip that i could use.
> Considering what happened to him, it makes sense. He also says that "it's
> written all over your face that the politics are getting to you".
>
> Anyway, the next day is Saturday. I bring (Ia) his mail and tell him i
> helped move. The tension has been obvious and he says "thankyou", gives me a
> look and says "(Br) is the issue". I nod and say " I know". Later that night
> as i am leaving i wish him a good golden week and he tells me to take care.
> He can't tell me when (By) gets back from Thailand either.
>
> I go to (my old city) and my old boss is a little quiet towards me at first but
> detects there is a problem. We go for coffee and i tell him about what has
> happened - bring up the being ignored decorating and the fact that every
> thing i do seems to upset (M) and its not all intentional, I simply want to
> get on with things, but they are reacting to things i say. I tell him how
> frustrated i am. I say, I am not mouthing off, but people seem to know. I
> feel like every conversation i have is being used against me. I say i'm not
> drinking for lent". The other teachers seem be baiting me into it looking
> like I am its little things - if i forget something, then it means i am
> referring to one of the complaints here. If i cant find something in the
> bookshelf, then i am mouthing off about the fact it is right in front of my
> face and i could see it, no i never opened my mouth. I havent said anything
> to Na or Ba or By. I say  By knows because he and Mr are friends. Ia and Na
> know because (S) told them and I know the staff were told because you told
> me. But i said, "I am on the wrong side of her and I am not sure why and she
> wont tell me when i try asking her which only makes her more annoyed".
> I also happen to add here that Kr rang me and told me she had been hearing
> things about me and wanted to hear my side of things. He says "thats my
> fault she'd had a bad weekend"
>
> I said, it's like i can't win. "you guys wanted me here on Tuesdays for
> classes in March".
> He said "you will need to make your own life and friends outside of work,
> you don't need the other teachers, your personal life shouldn't be an issue,
> who cares what S thinks"
> I said "it's a no win situation, I am not a ...city teacher anymore, but
> ....city doesn't want to know me".
> I also told him about (Br) and that perhaps the teachers were upset i knew
> some gossip - it wasn't anything they didn't know. I also added "people are
> reacting to everything i say, i don't know if it is guilty consciences". to
> which he nods and i continue "I'm not actually angry but if people think i
> am then perhaps they think i have good reason to be". I also add that "if i
> haven't been motivated thats because i haven't really felt like I have been
> given much reason to be. I visit the teachers and they ignore me, if i don't
> visit then I am not making the effort..i feel like i am being forced into
> this".
> to which he agrees and says "it's politics".
>
> We go for coffee again later and i say "it feels like i am not allowed to
> establish myself or make friends with anyone connected to (M) or the company
> ". He nods and  again tells me not to worry, "you've walked into two
> unfortunate office situations". I give him a disbelieveing look. I say "I
> can't help the fact so many people know, but that also means there is a damn
> lot of evidence i was getting upset" he nods looking slightly guilty "i let
> you down, (j) was almost not renewed and if he thinks he is on an easy
> ticket he's wrong. He blew up at (Mh - japanese staff member) the other day
> for giving him another kids class and she wouldn't speak to him the whole
> day". To which i reply "then why doesn't he get introuble for this shit".  I
> also add, " i didn't feel like i was wanted around during golden week, tell
> him i helped move and didnt get a thankyou...they don't even acknowledge my
> efforts". I add " I can't help the fact people know, I am not deliberately
> mouthing off".  I continue to add " i feel like people are trying to bait me
> into it".  he acknoledges it is simply me being present that is bad publicity.

> I also say,  "if there was such a problem in the classroom down here, why
> didnt (S) or (Sc - the area manager) come and observe me?" At this stage it
> had only been (Y - the office manager and she is not a teacher and (ma)
> twice himself)." I add "no one high up busted a gut to get down here and
> watch me or tell me, I was the one asking for help with the toeic and
> business classes".
>
> I watch the festival and invite the teachers up for my birthday. I get back
> on the Wednesday and Spend the day in my apartment. I can hear the others
> meeting the new chick, who i haven't met yet. This is going to look like i
> can't be bothered making the effort I am thinking. The next day i introduce
> myself and she comes to visit that evening. We have dinner with (P) and (M)
> the boss comes looking for us.
>
> Afterwards I am having a cigarette on the balcony and (M) sees me we have a
> quick conversation and i say "I'm not smoking in my apartment as much
> anymore, it's starting to smell" she comes over and asks me how my holiday
> was and I say "good " I also add exasperatedly (d) invited everyone. She
> asls me what i did yesterday. I lie and say i went to Nikko, i don't feel
> like telling her anything.
> She points at the balcony and says. We talk about obon being the next
> holiday and she heads back to her apartment "we should get some chairs,
> we'll work something out" I simply glare at her. I have invited her, the new
> chick and (P) to my birthday party. She lies and tells me she didnt realise
> it was my birthday. I had told her twice before golden week and (Na) twice
> as well. I leave a note for (P) to visit me as i am upset.
>
> That Tuesday at work it is obvious they are trying to avoid me having alone
> time with the new teacher and none of the other teachers are spending long
> in the teachers desk area while I am alone. (Ia) takes the new girl to lunch
> that day which i notice is when we would have been alone in the staff room
> together when looking at the schedule.
>
> I invite the other teachers to my birthday and there seems to be an
> uncomfortable atmosphere in the air (By) says he is busy with (L). (Ia) says
> he will come, I also invite the staff (St and Mi and Mk). Two of them say
> they will come.
>
> It is during this week that i receieve the health insurance letter, but i
> did not open it at this stage.
> The night of my birthday I meet (e) at the train station and tell her how
> isolated I am feeling.
> She tells me  - "make friends outside, but you don't seem to be able to do
> that".
> We head to the bar (Mk) arrives and we meet another group of people one of
> whom is also having a birthday party.  I go and meet (k) and (kr) who are
> now an item. I take them to the bar. Everybody i invited from my old city is
> there and (M) the new girl and (P) are there, he has also invited some of
> his friends one or two (Ni and Jy) who i have met one night in april when he
> invited EVERYBODY including the other teachers of my company although noone
> came. (M) had a friend (Lu) coming to visit and i ran into her as i was
> going to get something to drink for (P's) waiting for him to arrive. All the
> teachers of my company call him to say they arent coming.
>
> Anyway I detect (m) is slightly angry at me she says "how is work?" I say
> "fine", she gives me a strange look and goes "yeah?".  I have a conversation
> with (Ni) he is going back to America and I say I am enjoying myself and
> tell him my family are planning to visit in August. (M) gives an annoyed
> sigh at this. I go to have a friendly chat with (Kr) and she asks me if the
> other teachers are coming. I tell her that (Ia) said he would come, and that
> reminds me so I call him but get no answer.
>
> We sing Karaoke most of the night after some dart playing. I am sitting next
> to (M) most of the night and singing away and then move seats and I am
> sitting next to (d) who is busy making out with someone. I ask (Kr) to
> choose a song for me. Some of the others join in. We head off soon after.
> (M) glares at me as she walks out.
> (P) and his friends stay at the bar. We go to a third bar which (e) meets us
> at later after not being able to find my apartment.
> I am detecting that (m) is angry at me when i am around (k) - note he is one
> person who was a witness to most of the harrassment and could back up a fair
> bit of the situation. She pulls me up to dance and throws/pushes me at one
> of the bar men, he starts trying to dance quite closely at which she gives
> me a strange look to imply "what are you doing". I back away and go and sit
> down with (k) again.
>
> She also seems annoyed when i talk to (Kr) she asks them both to stay in her
> apartment that night and glares at me. We have left (e) behind as she wants
> to stay and talk to the bar owners. I feel terrible and we stop on the way
> back to call her. (M) keeps walking but seems angry. We get back to the
> apartment eventually and (m) is still up we also see (p) and a friend of
> his. (Kr) needs to go to the toilet so we walk past and head to my apartment
> and i catch another evil look from (m) as they head into my place. I say
> something quietly to (k) while (kr) is in the toilet because i feel like
> something is up "I feel like a scapegoat" I say, but you were there "you saw
> most of it" to which he goes "i know....dont worry everything is
> fine....there's no problem, you're birthday was a good night".
> We go for breakfast after getting dressed. (d) has met us by then and we are
> to bring (m) back some McDonalds i kind of laugh at her and giver her a look
> meaning "you're going to have to open the door". I see (d) off at the train
> station after telling her about things. I bring up the feelings of isolation
> (j) is allowed to get on with things why can't i....it's too hard to get
> away from when the whole bloody new office knows about it and it just
> seems to keep being brought up". She encourages me to quit - give two weeks
> notice and see how you feel".
>
> The environment at work is hostile, at least i feel like it is. I arrive and
> (Ia) doesn't even apologise for not coming to the birthday party.  This is a
> tuesday and the area management is also down. I know something is up as
> none of the teachers are talking to me and the boss of my culture centre
> comes and asks if everything is ok. i ask to have a coffee with (m), she is
> hesitant at first but I give her a serious look as if to say "it's what you
> want" to which she nods.
>
> We sit down and have coffee and I say to her
> "at the risk of exacerbating things even further" to which she shakes her
> head, but i think she is lying. I continue " I am not sure exactly what is
> going on but I have actually had a word to (ma) about whats going on here
> and he admitted the yuki told the staff and that the teachers were told
> about my old city....I can't help the fact that people know... i have a
> reputation to live down i have to accept that". She replies "...you have
> noooooo reputation like THAT, let me tell you".  I continue and say "I feel
> like people are reacting to everything i do, it's little things like asking
> the date..I know people here know". She lies to me and says "no, the
> teachers finding out would be unprofessional of me". She continues " i don't
> talk to Na about it" i know this is a lie from the whole "crazy" and "stop
> it Na" incident and the dinner with (Yr) that she does and i haven't been
> theone who did it.
> We talk about who knows an she says " I know, management knows, and the
> people in the meeting at (.....) know, (jo) knows because you told us
> that night remember?" I say "yes". I say I don't want everybody knowing and
> I don't want to talk about what happened anymore" and she says "tell me the
> whole story..i only now some...it was totally like harrassment right". I say
> "it's a separate issue and i want it dead as much as you do. I am not
> running around trying to get everyone to quit ot turn the whole world
> against (j)". "i know" she says and smiles.
> I also add "I'm not an evil person...you have been panicking around me since
> (ne) observed me" she denies this, but i can tell i am right. She couldn't
> make eye contact with me that day. I say the other teachers seem worried"and
> she says "that you might use things against them". and i also add "I am
> sorry if I have upset you somehow, its not been intentional, but some of it
> has been to bait or test to see if you are actually worried about the email,
> I have no intention of suing or anything of the sort...". she says "i know"
> and smiles. Her mother had been worried about this
> when i was in sendai for the kids training so i knew it was partly true,
> they were trying to keep me happy, but i probably wasn't getting renewed.
> But i still wanted to know what was going on.
> She cuts me off and changes the topic.
>
> Instinct tells me that from what happened to (Br) that my birthday party no
> show by the teachers wasn't a coincidence.  I say to her "not everything i
> am doing is deliberate...but i think too many people know and the gossip is
> going around in circles". She tells me to relax and the conversation changes
> to more menial things. She tries to reassure me that nobody knows, which i
> know is a lie by the way they react simply to words like christmas or movie.
> I head back for class. (Ia) looks at me and gives me a disappointed 'hi'. I
> say nothing.
>
> The next day I call headquarters because i know (m) is lying to me, but i cant call her mother because its the bosses daughter i am having a problem with
> and i am tired of trying to get a straight answer out of her when i do ask
> her. I speak to (Ne - who's name is on the email) and tell him "look i don't
> know what you are hearing, but if you think i am running around threatening
> to quit again, it's not actually true I have never said anything of the
> sort. I feel like everything I am doing is being construed against me" to
> which he says there's no problem in the classroom"  He also adds "perhaps
> the other teachers are set in there ways" I simply go "sure", and he adds
> "you're happy right?" I reply with a terse "yes".
>
> I get back that evening and things have changed. The atmosphere is a bit
> better the staff seem pleased for me. The teachers seem ok, but things are a
> little awkward.
>
> We have a teachers meeting the following day and the tension between (m) and
> myself is quite obvious and its is obvious people in the room know about our
> discussions. Especially when the words pro development day and the name (ne)
> comes up as he is moving back home in August. I had lost a student (Iz)
> which i contribute to the fact that i was privvy to the knowledge she was
> sleeping with (Ia) - this is because (Br) told me while we were at the
> restaurant.
> Later they are joking "when is "Br" going to leave the office" - perhaps
> hinting at the fact that because i knew the same information i was disliked
> just as much.
> I leave for my culture centre shortly afterwards.
>
> That weekend I have a new lesson to teach I arrive for the first time in a
> while at 10.20 am
> and (Ia) arrives after me. He seems surprised to see me there and i notice
> him look at my keys strangely.
> Later that day I have a lesson to teach which the student is supposed to
> pick me up for. (Ia) had said he would walk me down. I ask (mh) where to go
> to meet the car and she tells me she doesn't know. this to me now seems a
> lie - she works there every saturday, she must know. I ask (Ia) as he walks
> out of a classroom and he gives me a long speel  mentioning an alley way he
> says it could be a mazda or it could be a station wagon. I go outside
> looking for the car and can't find it. I go back up twice and tell (Mh) that
> i can't find the car. (Ia) points his head out and says "he's right there
> and shows me the mazda" I apologise a few times feeling very frustrated at
> the tension that has been going on with all the teachers and he says "it's
> your problem with (mh), take it up with her.
> (mh) is on the phone to (st and management) I go back down the car has gone,
> so i come back up and (Ia) says "right in front of your face and you
> couldn't even see it, he's driven off". I am getting extremely upset by this
> I apologise and he says "don't get me involved in whats going on".
> I go downstairs looking again. I see the car driving off again and run after
> it and finally catch up to the car. My student from my last class had been
> there watching all of this commotion.
> Neither (Ia or Mh) actually told me to simply wait downstairs which is where
> the car always waits. They were being deliberately unhelpful. "i don't know"
> and "oh its.............".
>
> I come back from the lesson and (O - the manager of my culture centre) is
> there. I burst into tears and he and (mh) take me into another room. I have
> a lesson starting at 3. The student and her mother saw me crying just before
> i went to a separate room. I am crying a lot and (Ia) comes and talks to me.
> I have a go at him and say " i can't win, damned if i do and damned if i
> don't ", he says "can you teach a lesson? that's all that matters". and I
> say "the only way for you to prove I am not mouthing off would be to ask the
> students and people themselves...I'm sorry i went out with Br (because to me
> that seemed to be what this was about, i was getting the same treatment and
> isolation as him)".  In response (Ia) replies "i don't know what you are
> talking about".  I knew he was lying here because he had admitted it to me
> the saturday after the hanami party as i have noted.
> I continue that "if this is about (kr) she rang me, not the other way
> around". I had kind of twigged something was up here because the office
> manager gave me a funny look when i walked home alone with the new chick but
> again he denied knowledge. He went to teach his class I cried for a few more
> minutes went to teach and still burst into tears in front of the student but
> progressed through the lesson.
>
> That weekend (e) came down and I told her about the fight I had with (Ia)
> and crying in front of the students and she basically told me "you're
> leaving - write out the resignation tomorrow". I agreed. There was no point
> if i was crying in front of students. So i did this the following day.
>
> That Tuesday i went to work and asked the staff for a fax number to the head
> office. I had printed out two originals. I kept one and left the
> faxed copy on (Ms) desk. (Mh) came running in minutes later with my health
> insurance note saying it would take about two weeks. I gave the staff a look
> as if to say - don't tell me you weren't prepared for this already" and the
> staff manager nodded".
>
> Things basically got worse after that. I got no response or acknowledgement
> about the resignation whatsoever but i could tell they were pissed about it.
> They didn't like being made to look like fools and basically told me so.
> However i did not understand the problem when everyone had already been told
> i was leaving by (M). I was angry however because the words "I quit" had
> never actually come out of my mouth and they had nothing in writing until
> this day.
>  Sortly after this i was accused of throwing out a teachers gas bill, which if i did do i have no recollection of - the mail box had no lock it could have been anybody.

> It was unfortunate that the new teachers welcome party was coming up as
> well. The teachers managed to get there own back orchestrated a little by
> (S) in order to cover up for the new teacher who had twigged something
> pretty awful was going on from the minute she arrived.
> I arrive back from my day at the culture centre and (Ia) and (By) and (M)
> walk in angry at me. I am unsure why as i have not been in the office all
> day. (Ia) says hello to (Ba) but not to me. I am reading a book
> (Ia) almost drops his books and i ask if he is ok to which he gives me an
> angry (you bitch) look.
>
> The next day i have a sneaking suspicion crosses my mind that they have made
> 2nd harrassment claim to cover things up. (By) walks in and aks me about his
> tatoo "was he gentle" to which i smile and make a connection
> to what happened in Yonezawa, i had complained "it's in the office as well".
> (Ia) arrives and is angry at me (By) looks at us both and gives me an angry
> look and I look at him 'whats going on?'.
> They start talking and i think well if i have done nothing wrong at i catch
> (Ia) out when i talk to him about australia and give him a questioning look.
> He isn't angry at me because he responds and then gets look of being found
> out and then he and (By) look at each other. I turn away later that night i
> get back in the office and they are talking to me normally but oviously
> feeling guilty about something and (By) even gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> I can also tell by the fact the new chick seems angry at me and they will
> not talk to me in front of her or if (M) is around.  You would have to be in
> the office to understand how i mean this.
>
> By is going to the city where headqurters is the night of the farewell party which i also connect
> to reversing the gossip chain of who i told in headquarters branch about what happened -
> (By) is friends with (mr) so it is likely he has told him.
> I walk into the office that evening and (Ia) is gloating when he looks at me
> and so is (M). (By) gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> Again I am only suspicious because of indirect comments and peoples
> reactions and knowing the politics i know i have stirred up trouble by not
> dealing with (m) directly anymore.
> But (P) in my apartment building tells me i am right.
>
> At the welcome party i am sat next to three students who are supposed to
> have complained - yet they bought me birthday presents and signed up again
> and hug me at the end of the night. One of them is sleeping with (Ia). I am
> also sitting next to (Ia) and he and (Na) wink at each other as they sit
> down and then look at me. So i know something is going on. (Ia) moves seats
> just before the end of the night.
>
> We leave and go to (p's) birthday party afterwards. I leave the party about
> 1 i think. I hear the next morning (By) showed up shortly after i left.
> I ring the boss after the morning after the welcome party and she will not
> let me come to headquarters to meet her face to face.
> Things have simply gotten very nasty since the resignation and my instincts
> tell me they are making up a 2nd claim.
> (m) starts joking in front of the new chick about how (By) is funny when he
> drinks - he does "hey baby" to everyone. I mention "i have never seen him
> drunk, he's never done that to me" she gives me a smirk and the new chick
> looks at me strangely. Later at lunch (m) says i am the running joke, so i am pretty sure it is what they have done and by now feeling pretty disgusted that they would make a joke of the first office.
>
> Teachers find out i am seeing a counsellor which creates more panick - my
> medical certificate says the words emotionally overwraught. From here things
> get worse.
> They definitely think i am up to something and from the way they are taking
> copies of everything and the incidences with the health insurance i now
> think something strange has happened. They are defintley worried
>
> I go to my old city  and tell them i think something is up. It has obviously
> reached back to my old city
> because (kr) my replacement has heard. She is friends with the boss (Ss) son
> and in contact with (m).
>
> Who is checking up on me to see if i am in my new city or not quite regularly.
> Even my old boss sounds relieved when i tell him i am in mynew city.
> Well if going to myold city was a problem then why did no one say anything.
> Hoever it is the implication i am receiving.
>
> My boss is down and seems to be hesitant to want to talk with me. But she
> sits down gives me a gloating look and says teasingly and i MEAN this "it's
> a completely different staff....". So i know the rehash/ running joke is
> true.
> I say the wrong thing about laying all the cards on the table - my intention
> was to get her to be honest because i know people havent been and i dont
> really understand what happened. She sees my anti depresents on the table
> and leaves after we exchange some harsh words. She tell me she moved me to
> give me a chance, which i dont believe and aks why i talked about it in my new office -
> i didn't and the only person who knows this for sure is me, the students and
> the other teachers themselves but they havent directly admitted it, but
> since my old boss has already told me, I am reminded of his words "you've
> walked into two unfortunate situations....." . I tell the boss that i think
> it is sick if she is making what happened in the first office a joke. "i
> tell her, if you honestly think being given a choice between punching and
> having your crutch grabbed is funny..." and she goes yeah it's hysterical.
> Shortly after this she leaves.
> At the very least it is bullying because i am being told by (M) to use
> different stairwells to avoid running into the new chick.
> (S) rings me while i am having breakfast about the new tenant. The landlords
> name comes up and as i mentioned before, she comes in speaking only japanese
> until the next day when she speaks english well enough to handle the water
> bill payment and wish me a nice flight at the least. (C) from shirakawa also
> comes up to check on things while the tenant is there, she was supposed to
> pick me up the day i arrived and didn't.
> Something doesnt add up - the wild goose chase for the car 'but it was right
> in front of you' - neither of them were going to help me, (Ia) not coming to
> my birthday party and the fact he was laughing at me when i started arriving
> at 10.30 again. I honestly feel like they are finding excuses to get me into
> trouble and since they have influence with the boss, they can say whatever
> they want. No one ever sat down and to tell me. If i was being fired for bad
> teaching they never sat down and told me this. Things were just nasty.
> The day I resigned (M) and (Na) took the new chick downstairs and told her
> everything about me and what happened in Yonezawa. I can only tell this from
> the fact that when the topic of movies (something happened with the boys at
> the movies remember) came up later that day in the office she gave me a
> sympathetic look and she actually texted (P) to check up on me.
> It's like the management is simply panicked about what i could say and
> trying to beat me to it instead of leaving it around. Little things like
> saying 'i forget' seemed to make people react with a gulity conscience.
>
> I have finally collected my last pay and am away from it, but it has been a
> difficult seven months.  But I am suspicious about a lot of things. I am
> also angry that i wasnt at least given a chance to be moved away from the
> fact everyone knew about the harrassment at the very least. Every time i
> tried dealing with the bosses daughter she wasnt honest with me - i put this
> down to her name being on the email.
>
> I am sorry it is such a long account, but to me little things dont add up -
> being told i could only apply for  3 months of guitar lessons, not putting
> the water bill in my name. The fact the staff were busy doing something
> dodgy with the health insurance while i was off for being emotionally
> overwraught. It at the very least was simply a situation where i would not
> have been able to do anything right. My conversations with my old boss who
> even acknowledged when i rang to say goodbye "it would have been simpler if
> you'd gone back to australia......i gave you some bad advice last time you
> were down (which was golden week)".
>
> To me it feels a little planned - she wasn't harrassed, she was moved to two
> offices and she still didnt work out. Well its a little difficult when the
> other teachers have barely had a conversation with me and things have been
> this hostile. Not all of this seems a coincidence - getting in trouble for
> arriving 'late' when it is the same thing that happened to the office staff. I was told it was ok.

Jun 4, 2005 at 10:34 o\clock

teaching experience continued part 3

I had kids training that weekend as i was in
> trouble with a couple of kids classes and (M) the boss (S's) daughter had
> called me to come for the training.
> She walks in a little nervous and i bring up the email to which she says
> "what email?" at which point i tell her - "the one saying I'm weird" and she
> says "oh, THAT one".
>
> I spoke to (S) the head boss again about things told her some more of what
> (t and j had done) and that the email didn't help, which she acknowledged,
> but didn't aplogise for. She said, look "there are three issues here. the
> teaching, the harrassment and the email".
> I was pretty upset. She could see this and told me she had called around and
> i had the support of the other women in the office to back me up. She said
> that the email had been in reference to the eye contact problems i was
> having in the classroom. The earliest she said she could transfer me was
> April, but she gave me a choice and said "as a friend i would leave - you
> don't need this, but its your choice". We went through my options and she
> encouraged me to hang in there and said she had spoken to the girls and
> other teachers. At this stage i did not know she was going to ring (j) that
> night.
>
> That Tuesday he was furious at me and neither he or (t) were talking to me.
> (t) had already been unusually quiet towards me since fukushima so they must
> have known something was up.
>
> My boss (ma) had responded when i read the email on the monday "it was
> pretty harsh" and apologised- i told him straight away because i was very
> angry- he claimed that words were underlined for staff to use a dictionary -
> this was a ridiculous comment because it was peoples names and the words
> weird and strange that were underlined. The staff did not need a dictionary
> for these things.
>
> I was upset and had been talking to my mother who had also ended up ringing
> the head  boss (S) about matters, they had a discussion about things - the
> email, the boys and the problems in the classroom. Mum was worried  because
> i was quite distraught about the email. But (S) explained she had spoken to
> me about it and apologised for it over the phone.
> By this stage (j) had been spoken to and the boss had rung around to check
> with the other teachers what was happening. (ma) had also done some
> investigating with the other teachers and locals. I had a word to the boss
> (S) after she had spoken to my mother and she said that (j) had been
> "genuinely surprised that you were upset, because you were up at the school
> with them",
> to which i replied "they knew -"(k) has spoken to them on my behalf as
> well". She was pinning (t) as the ringleader and saying (j) is ok, he just
> follows (t) too much. Part of this was true as the lines (j) used were from
> the conversation i had with (t) after the movies. She wanted me to try and
> tough things out, but said it wasnt a gaol, if i wanted to leave i could do
> so. She told me i was being too sensitive and imagining things. But she also
> said we could work something out "i don't want a law suit any more that you
> do". I had mentioned i had contacted the labour office to her.
>
> The atmosphere in the office was pretty bad after this. there was silence
> for a while and then i had a word to (k) because i wanted things back to
> normal and said i didn't like the silent treatment. One of the office staff
> actually thanked me as she walked past me.
> They (t and j) were both furious at me, but the sex talk still continued -
> however not towards me and i was avoiding the office. I had to give a class
> i had lost to (t) and as i was giving him the files i said - i "i have tried
> ...........and they wanted a male teacher" to which he replies "yeah, I'll
> stick my dick in them". I said nothing.
>
> Things got worse because i actually tried talking to (t) about what had
> happened and said some very harsh things. I was observed at a company class
> which was the night i tried talking to (t). I was upset and probably would
> have spoken to anybody who was there. The management had no confidence in my
> teaching and things just werent going well. I was a mess.
> This only exacerbated their anger towards me. Because they wouldnt listen
> properly or even prepared to hear me out. I was not only upset about them,
> but being sick and all the other factors involved as well. I dont know if
> they interpeted this properly.
>
> The morning after I walked in and the boys started singing  "i hate you, you
> hate me......" theme song for  (school name). I walked away to get a coffee
> overhearing
> "so is dingo sex one word or two words?" - "no, it's one word".
>
> I had been talking to my boss (ma) about things and he was saying - its hard
> to come down heavy on them because you've been going  out with them. I had
> been out with them twice on my own the other times were as a group or (k)
> had been there.
> Don't forget (k) has been threatened with violence and put up with a lot
> from them as well. "You need to be able to separate your personal life from
> work".
>
> I had called the (city name) labour office twice around this time and posted on
> the "teacing in japan discussion forum" around this time as well at my
> parents advice and also because i was upset. They were just as angry for me.
>
> I had been visiting (e) a lot and talking things over as i was finding it
> difficult to make a decision - quit or not etc and was still raw from what
> had happened. I had physical reactions - not wanting to drink and basically
> feeling like something had been forced down my throat and wanting to be
> sick.
>
> At the same time i am ringing (S) about the problems in the classroom - and
> this is making the situation worse because (t) and (j) think it is about
> them. I am also having trouble feeling like i can't approach the office
> manager her response is always "I'm busy".  I know she is angry about the
> classroom problems, but i didnt know the full extent and didnt realise why
> she was angry with me half the time.
>
> They seem to be enjoying making fun of me
> " i kissed a boy but i'm, a defenseless woman and didnt want to". looking at
> me and then smirking and laughing at each other. Mainly silent treatment
> though.  However i still had to catch a taxi with (j) to the trains station
> on Tuesdays for a class and part of them was trying to find out what was
> going on and I am not good at keeping my mouth shut, which made things
> worse.
>
> After reading the email I was quite distraught and had been out with a
> student who (t) and (j) both happened to teach. Earlier that month she had
> asked me for their numbers, which i didn't give out. I told her how upset i
> was at work and started crying. She ended up panicking and ringing the
> office manager after I had gone home. Her and my boss had everyone looking
> for me. This was a genuine over reaction. I was simply very upset, but the
> student was concerned.  Two weeks later she complains about (t) harrassing
> her as well. She was the same student (j) had asked me to kiss at the
> christmas party. I don't know the full details of her complaints but (t) was
> no longer her teacher after it.
>
> I decided to resign because i couldnt handle staying and the anger and
> tension in the office was quite hostile. I rang my boss (S) to resign and
> said look I am digging myself into a bigger hole staying here. I can't get
> on top of things because i am getting too upset.
> I resigned and a few days later she rang me back offering me a transfer
> beginning in March instead.
> I accepted and was transferred. I am upset to be leaving but know i have to.
> I have dinner with the other teachers and some of (e's) friends.
> The boys are loving every minute of me leaving. I am hearing them talking
> about screwing one of the female replacements - (t and k are also leaving in
> a few months and my replacement is another woman). "one of them's going to
> have to be dumb enough to" and (j) replies "well its happened before". I am
> upset by this but only have a day or so left so forget about it.
>
> A teacher from Shirakawa is supposed to meet me, but the boss (S) meets me
> instead and is still convinced i was imagining things. This is because i
> tell her about a conversation i had with (j) about high school girls and
> kids games and sharing - it's how they think......if you heard the talk you
> would know what i mean. People in the office understand what i mean about
> this. She just thinks i am being silly.
>
> She takes me shopping to buy some things for the new apartment. I am
> introduced to one of the other teachers (N) and (S's) daughter (M) is also
> down for the weekend. They have helped set up my apartment. During the day
> (S) has a meeting with (I) my boss to be at the new office. I am also left
> in my apartment to set up a little while (S, Na and M) have a discussion
> about things.
> I am taken shopping by (N) to get some tables and chairs for the apartment.
> I have bought some things off (Je) one of the other teachers.
> Things seem fine for the first month i am in the new office. I gather that
> the staff and teachers know the full story. (By) one of the teachers is
> friends with (m) who i spoke to about the situation  at my old boss (ma's)
> birthday party. I also had to ring him about my apartment package as it was
> his apartment i had moved into in the first office. He says to  me that
> "(By) told me you were moving..." I say yes, ask him about the package. (Y)
> my office manager was angry at me because i want everything now now now.
> Again i couldnt help it. I was moving the next morning. I needed to be paid.
> Anyway. Basically the gossip chain made things difficult for me and while
> none of the other teachers have actually admitted it to me. I know they have
> been told the full story and so have the staff.
> I needed a map to get to the train station on my second day and (I) had a
> word to me and said don't worry, people were concerned because you were
> concerned - they were worried "is she flipping out again, is she quitting".
> So I know he was told by (S) when i was moved and they had a meeting.
>
> I think i should write some of the complaints in the classroom and also what
> the teachers were saying about me at the fukushima meeting when (S) was
> trying to get to the bottom of the teaching problem.
> (j) told her i was a little odd and that (t) had been quite beligerant and
> rude towards me.
> (d) said weird
> (ma) said weird
> "she looks down", "she always eats salad". "she laughs and smiles to
> herself"
> I was also blanking out in the classroom - not noticing when students had
> finished an activity and drifting off (when I had the ear infection and meds). Forgetting names also.
>
> What i am going to write next is difficult to put across, but to me it feels
> like they planned to recreate the first office to get rid of me simply
> because of the email. Something odd defintley happened. No one ever said
> anything directly to me - if it was complaints or if it was going to visit
> my old city. I only have instinct and indirect comments and a conversation with
> my old boss and the bosses daughter to go on plus the fact some very shady
> covering up was going on when i did resign. I started to feel like a
> scapegoat. But at the very least there was some nastiness going on which i
> didnt understand - getting sent on wild goose chases for cars, being accused
> of throwing out gas bills for example.
>
> 1. Health Insurance - i paid for one year in  my old city and again paid for one
> year when i moved. The receipt for the new city/ the date of payment is
> 17.4.19.  I received a letter from my old city hall in the last week of
> april basically refunding me 2,400 yen. This is dated 17.4.15. I hadn't
> opened
> this letter until after i resigned in wiriting on the 16 May. I get a note
> from one of the staff about my health insurance sayng it will take two weeks
> and they will give me cash because the post office can't accept the payment.
> I did not ask city hall to do this in either city and i did not verbally ask
> them to stop my health insurance and neither had i verbally expressed that i
> was quitting at any time until i gave the resignation in writing on may 16.
> After i resigned i had the last week of may off work for being emotionally
> overwraught. I was called to come in and bring the health insurance book. I
> thought nothing of it at the time. They kept the book. I got home saw the
> letter and looked at the date and thought something seemed odd - i went back
> to the office - this is about 10 minutes later and the staff are busy
> photcopying all the pages. I ask for the health insurance booklet back and
> they seem a little hesitant, but i get it back.
>
> 2. Water bill. We have a family who own the apartment building (the Nd's). I
> was never introduced to these people and usually you need to meet them to at
> least have your water bill put in your name. I was not given a receipt for
> this.
> I did not meet the landlord until she came to collect my last bill et the
> end of May. No one introduced me to them at any stage either despite me
> asking. The new girl that arrived at the beginning of the month and met
> them, she was waiting for them to bring forms to sign for the water service.
> I never did anything of the sort. Electricity and Gas were in my name but i
> have no idea about the water.
> When i move she brings a new tenant to th apartment - i have just spoken to
> the boss (s) who knows i havent met her at this stage. The lanlord comes in
> speaking nothing but japanese. I say nice to meet you in japanese which she
> simply nods at and smiles.
> The day she comes for my water she speaks perfect english enough to wish me
> a nice flight and collect the money for the bill. I say again, "nice to meet
> you finally", to which she says nothing.
>
> 3. I come into work after seeing a counsellor in tokyo this is the day after
> i have given them a medical certificate for being emotionally overwraught. 
> (m) and the staff see me at the photocopier and have nervous looks as i
> photocopy the apartment package list. Again (m) is a little jumpy when i
> hand her thelist and she sees i have a copy for myself.
>
> I will explain why these three points concern me in more detail
> later...first........
>
> During march we had to go to the boss (S's) daughter (M's) birthday party. I
> arrived and was met by her son during the party i was being watched like a
> hawk for my social skills - putting a drink down etc, and to see if i was
> paying attention to the conversation. (J) and (D) from my old city were also
> at the party. The last seat available was right in front of (J) and he
> laughed at me as i sat down. We didn't really talk except to pass food
> around. The night ended around 11 and i went back with the boss and (N) to
> her house. (j) had taken off. Neither of us went to the 2nd party.
> I went pretty much straight to bed and (S) and (Na) stayed up talking. I
> came down to get a drink of water and heard (J's) name being mentioned in
> their conversation. I went back to bed.
> The next morning (Na) and i went back to my new city by her car. I didn't
> say very much.
>
> Somewhere during my arrival - i think my first week. We had a small house
> warming at (By's) place when i arrived. All of the teachers were there. I
> wasnt drinking and was pretty quiet. I met (P) my neighbour this night as
> well. They were planning to go out afterwards, but i didnt want to go. (P)
> came to my apartment to see if i was ok, because i had kind of taken off. I
> told him briefly about things in my old city and he said "people have talked
> about you here". He left not long after to join the others.
>
> That weekend I was down for (a's) birthday party and happened to meet my
> replacement in the office (kr). I still had transfer forms to send her. I
> had been going to my old city on Tuesdays to teach as they had no one to
> cover my classes for the day. I asked for her number in case she needed to
> call me about the classes. I went back to (E's) house to stay.
> It was clear they didn't want me going to my old city because at
> first they had said i could stay over in my apartment while no one was there
> instead of taking the last shinkansen at 9.11pm - i finished teaching at 9pm
> and had to rush out the door. I had been visiting on the Mondays as this was
> my day off to see (k) and (e) who had been very supportive of me through the
> whole mess. I happened to tell the boss (S) when she rang me about (m's)
> birthday, that i would be staying over at (e's) on the monday in my old city to
> be ready to teach on the tuesday. and all of a sudden I am no longer able to
> go to my old city on Tuesdays until 4pm and must catch the last train home.  I
> was not aware of this and arrived one Tuesday as per normal and (y) the
> office manager says what are you doing hear? I said - "it is Tuesdays, I
> teach here". She made me ring my new office to see if this was ok. The staff
> and my new boss (I) had cleared it the friday before and said it was fine.
> I made a compromise and was allowed to catch a 3pm shinkansen to give me
> time to plan my lessons.
> The next weekend it is now april. I have a new boss, which just happens to
> be (M) the daughter of the head boss (S).
> I am down for (e's) birthday party and have a heart to heart with my old
> boss (Ma). I had just also been observed by the (city name) head management (Ne - who's name was also on the email) and told him i was a little concerned. He
> said that (S) had been happy with me and that i had found my niche in my new
> office he said "she is happy with the job you're doing".
>
> I said i was worried because (M - the bosses daughter) seemed panicky.  He
> said to me "(Y) the office manager was scared she'd get the blame if you
> fucked up, because the staff and teachers were told what happened
> here......I'm sorry, they were arseholes I had no idea just how much until
> this happened, i feel like i let you down terribly....They aren't here at
> this birthday party, that says something". I tell him " I still feel like
> somethings up...". He said "No, if you come here no one cares, it's fine. no
> one has a problem with it, we're all happy to see you". I acknowledge this
> but say "yes, but i think they are worried about the kids classes again". If
> they are or were, nothing specific was ever told to me except the parents
> want homework.
>
> I stay at (e's house) and she tells me not to worry so much.
>
> When (M) first arrived I had a welcome drink with (M and Na) on the first
> night that (M) arrived. things seemed ok, but i told her i was having a
> discipline problem with one particular student, she said nothing. We looked
> at her year book and things seemed fine. It is shortly after this that i am
> observed by (Ne).
> That same weekend (S) is down to help her daughter (M) decorate. I pop in to
> say hello, although no one had actually asked me to come. I was simply being
> polite and wanted to say hi to (S).
> I leave shortly after (Na) as i have work the next day. This is the day I am
> to be observed by (Ne). No one can tell me what time he is coming to
> observe. I ask the staff, I ask (Ia) and I ask (M) I even call (Ne) twice. I
> have a bus to catch. (Ia - the previous boss before M arrived) tells me to
> go. I happen to meet (Ne) in the street and we catch the bus together to my
> class.
>
> I am told there is a complaint about the parents wanting homework - this to
> me sounds strange because i have been giving them workbook photocopies and
> if they dont finish them in class, then they have it for homework. (S) gets
> upset i have been photocopying because the students are supposed to buy
> workbooks - they don't.
>
> As mentioned earlier after this observation.
> (S) the boss is down visiting her daughter for the weekend.  i ring on my
> way back from the swimming pool on saturday and they dont answer. I get back
> and they are all sitting there laughing and talking. I text (M) the next morning and
> head off to my old city for (e's) birthday party. I see (Ma) about whats going
> on, tell him things seem tense and that i have been observed by (N). He
> basically tells me  (Y) the office manager was scared she'd get the blame if
> you fucked up", I ask him "why" and he says "because the staff and teachers
> were told". he later adds....."I'm sorry i really let you down.... I in turn
> ask  "why did he (j) get renewed, so many women have complained about them
> its not funny, someone is going to have to listen eventually".
> and he said "S likes J, she wanted to keep him, they (t and j) aren't here
> tonight, that says something....they're not nice people.....you can come
> here and no one would have a problem, you scared us sometimes, but
> anytime...there's no problem". He gives me a hug.
>
> Back in my new office
> No one really talks to me about the observation - Br tells me they were
> going through my files while i was gone though. I try asking (M) again a
> couple of times - once in the office and again when i visit her in her
> apartment.  I know something must be up because i have actually lost a
> wednesday night kids class, but at the same time i have signed up three new
> kids and an adult on saturdays. I seem to be making her angry simply by
> making eye contact and she doesnt want to give me much information. I get
> short answers when i ask her personal questions. and she never asks me any.
> I am not sure why she is distancing herself, but it is clear she doesn't
> want me around.
> She even seems to resent me making the effort to be friends with (Na) and
> perceives it as a political move to get a good word put in for me with (S)
> rather than sincere. They are quite good friends and I am not being accepted
> as a third basically. They take no interest in anything i say.
>
> Towards the end of april one of the teachers (Br) is leaving. He has invited
> all the teachers out to a students restaurant - mainly (Ba, By and Ia) for a
> boys night, but they decline and he asks me. I go.
> After the restaurant - singing karaoke and playing the flute we talk about
> why he is leaving - he had been interested in one of the teachers and told
> her he was attracted to her - she went to (Na) who in turn told (S) as they
> are good friends. Next, he meets a young japanese woman (who he is now going
> to marry). Her mother at the time complained to the school about the
> relationship and they weren't impressed. Her mother wrote a letter saying
> things were ok and the matter was resolved. (Ia - still boss at the time)
> told him to keep it as proof things were ok. (Br) missed a pro development
> day and afterwards (Ia) pulled him aside and told him (S) was pissed he
> didn't go and he was basically not getting renewed. Soon afterwards (S) was
> visiting (Na) for the weekend as she frequently does and (Na) called him to
> come and visit. He didnt go and he overheard (S) say "oh, i don't think Br
> is fitting in here...". After this the other teachers basically isolated him
> and stopped including him in things - this is according to him. I tell him
> about what happened to me and we have a bit of a whinge. Please note at this
> point this is a HIGHLY political company there is a foreign side and a
> japanese side shall we say and the two managers DO NOT get along.
>
> The next day at work i am given a gloating look by (M) as I am sitting at my
> desk, she is smiling or gloating looking down at me and i am not sure what
> is going on.
> I have a cigarette with (Na) on my way to work and offer to help set up for
> the hanami party.
> The next morning  (Na) and (M) hardly look at me and don't even acknowledge
> my help at the end of the day or during. Neither do the other teachers. They
> don't talk to me during the day and all back away when i try talking to
> them.  In fact i go and meet people at the bridge like a bit of a taxi
> service, i dont even get a thankyou for that.  One of the staff (Mk) had
> arrived early and the three of us were talking or at least i was talking to
> (Mk) and the other two weren't even acknowledging i was there, they simply
> talked to (Mk) or each other. I ask (Na) where they had their christmas
> party and she gets an angry look on her face but replies with a restaurants
> name.
>
> During the day i meet one of (Na's) students (Yr) she is a GP and has
> travelled quite a bit so we get talking. Na invites me out with the three of
> them. (M) glares at her.
> I overhear (M) telling the student and (By) that I am leaving. I assumed at
> the time that they meant me moving places to talk to other students.
>
> That night is (Je's) farewell party. (By) and (Ba) are there, but i dont
> talk to them much. My mum calls and i tell her i am feeling a little
> isolated and getting frustrated that (M) wont tell me what the problem is
> and that my efforts don't seem to be being acknowledged. I leave the party
> earlyish.
>
> I am intending to go to an onsen and text (Na) about where to go. I have
> also had a message from (Kr) my replacement asking me to call her to talk. I
> call her and she asks me about the situation with (t and j) I tell her a
> little bit of it hesitantly as she says that she understands where i am
> coming from the dynamic is a mess and she feels stuck in the middle and that
> she had a bad weekend.
> I end up going to visit (k) and (e) that night in my old city instead and see
> (Kr) there. We talk more during a walk to family mart. This seems to get me into to trouble as it obviously gets back.
>
> My new boss (M's) brother is coming to visit, he has been in Canada sorting out visa
> work. I know things arent ok at work because (Na) and (M) have stopped
> asking me to join them for cigarettes.
>
>
> That night i am having a cigarette as (na) and (ba) get out of a taxi and
> they laugh/look at each other knowingly and walk straight past me. Up in the
> office they ignore me and are talking about the dinner with (Na's) student
> and ignore me while i look at them as they are making plans about it.
>
> The tension is getting pretty obvious to co - workers especially (Br) and he
> advises me to try tallking with (M). I take his advice and go. This is a
> tense conversation. I ask her bluntly "I am detecting some tension with you
> me and Na", to which she lies and pretends nothing is wrong, I say - "is
> this about Bradley, because I have heard some gossip about why he is
> leaving". She says nothing. I ask her if people know what happened in
> Yonezawa and she says no, nobody knows, which i know is a lie - I can tell
> Natasha knows from her reaction to me saying the word christmas and dr. I
> say look, I appreciate the transfer i do, you know the history - which she
> did because i told her at fukushima and her mother had also filled her in. "
> she said i know bits and pieces of it. I say "look i want to be able to be
> open with you if there is a problem. I would like to keep my job" . She says
> things are fine i go out and meet her brother who seems angry at me also,
> but this passes.
> (Na) comes to visit as well and we make plans to meet for the student dinner
> that night. I can tell they don't want me to come.
> They also tell me they are planning on heading down to (my old city name) for a festival during golden week, which (D) had invited the whole company - all
> the branches too. The say yeah, we are meeting up in (city name), so lets go
> together. I say ok. They then start talking about (Ne) and say to me "you
> remember Ne right?" .  (his name was on the email) I simply say "yes". They
> then all start mucking around calling each other bitch.
>
> The next day at work  I am supposed to teach a class until 8.30 and we meet
> for the taxi at 8.40.
> I am sitting at the computer next to the staff. The students havent shown up
> and all of a sudden at about 8pm (St) the office manager asks me to stay
> back. I decline, saying i have a student dinner to go to with Na and M. She
> says nothing except that it is fine.
>
> I walk to the taxi with (M) and she asks me if i had a better day today. I
> say yes and again repeat that i appreciate the transfer. She says she is to
> observe me in may sometime. My old boss (Ma) and she says "yes he is a good
> AMC" (boss) and then says something which is verbatim from the email about
> him being open and direct.
> (M) asks me how work was today as we check the mail and I say (good) to
> which she gets annoyed at.
>
> (Na) seems surprised to see me at the dinner but i sit down next to (yr) the
> student. I am feeling alittle uncomfortable becuase i am detecting a lot of
> anger at me from them both, especially since they are ignoring me and only
> to talking to either (Yr) or each other. I mention that the students
> cancelled, a slight look of guilt passes over Na's face.
> I order a wine, while the others order beer. It is the first time i have
> drunk since the transfer having given up for lent and also simply because i
> just didn't feel like drinking. I had met (Yr) at the hanami party where i
> was drinking coke and she says "you haven't drunk in a while". Na says
> angrily "for lent right" and I say "yes" and give her a look to mean no i
> haven't said anything. So it is obvious she knows about the Yonezawa story
> and I have not at this stage ever said anything to her myself.
> The night continues and i do a personality test where you need to draw a
> picture. Certain things represent your family and partner and choices in
> life. (Na) and the student enjoy it (m) seems to get upset by it. I give her
> a look to say- i dont mean it like that.
>
> Note : I use this test in a couple of classes and the students seem to enjoy
> it. One of the students is sleeping with (Ia) and she cancels two weeks
> later. I use the test with one of (M's) students as well and (Na's) they
> enjoy it. I haven't twigged this is a problem yet. The students walk out
> happy, one gave me her email address. I et birthday presents from a couple
> of them and also presents from my culture centre students after golden week.
>
> The day after the dinner we help move things from (Br's) apartment into the
> new arrivals place. There is also a truck coming later to move the fridge. I
> help with the move. That afternoon she has some friends coming down to
> visit. One of the is (Jo) the young woman i spoke to first about things up
> at the business training where i had the meeting with the head boss (s). (Na and M) dont seem to want me to meet her again.

> We have coffee in (m's) apartment and they seem a little angry at me. (Na)
> tells me she is going to be away for golden week, I had previously offered
> to look after her cat for her, but she says nothing about it, so i dont
> bother to offer again. I tell them my birthday is coming up - may 7 i say,
> to which they say nothing.
> I also know that (Ia) has a friend coming down who is a psychologist.
> (By) is away in Thailand and no one can tell me when he gets back.
>
> We finish moving and shifting a few things in the apartment. The girls seem
> to want to be alone all of a sudden (Na) starts singing the words "crazy,
> crazy......"  to which (M) replies "(Na) stop it" they laugh a little. I get
> upset and go to my apartment. I tell them i have futons if the new girl
> needs them and to call me if they want them. They say nothing. As i head up
> to my apartment (m) looks at me and mimicks "cos i dont wanna be alone". I
> glare at her and get upset but head back to my apartment.
> I stay in my apartment the rest of the night. I know they don't want me
> around. Call it a hunch if you might but i think it was to stop me meeting
> (Jo) again, as she was the one who encouraged me to speak up about what was
> happening.

> (Br) has been giving me advice as well and we both decide that they are
> probably angry about going to the students restaurant - the politics - that
> student is sleeping with (Ia) and i know too much gossip that i could use.
> Considering what happened to him, it makes sense. He also says that "it's
> written all over your face that the politics are getting to you".
>
> Anyway, the next day is Saturday. I bring (Ia) his mail and tell him i
> helped move. The tension has been obvious and he says "thankyou", gives me a
> look and says "(Br) is the issue". I nod and say " I know". Later that night
> as i am leaving i wish him a good golden week and he tells me to take care.
> He can't tell me when (By) gets back from Thailand either.
>
> I go to (my old city) and my old boss is a little quiet towards me at first but
> detects there is a problem. We go for coffee and i tell him about what has
> happened - bring up the being ignored decorating and the fact that every
> thing i do seems to upset (M) and its not all intentional, I simply want to
> get on with things, but they are reacting to things i say. I tell him how
> frustrated i am. I say, I am not mouthing off, but people seem to know. I
> feel like every conversation i have is being used against me. I say i'm not
> drinking for lent". The other teachers seem be baiting me into it looking
> like I am its little things - if i forget something, then it means i am
> referring to one of the complaints here. If i cant find something in the
> bookshelf, then i am mouthing off about the fact it is right in front of my
> face and i could see it, no i never opened my mouth. I havent said anything
> to Na or Ba or By. I say  By knows because he and Mr are friends. Ia and Na
> know because (S) told them and I know the staff were told because you told
> me. But i said, "I am on the wrong side of her and I am not sure why and she
> wont tell me when i try asking her which only makes her more annoyed".
> I also happen to add here that Kr rang me and told me she had been hearing
> things about me and wanted to hear my side of things. He says "thats my
> fault she'd had a bad weekend"
>
> I said, it's like i can't win. "you guys wanted me here on Tuesdays for
> classes in March".
> He said "you will need to make your own life and friends outside of work,
> you don't need the other teachers, your personal life shouldn't be an issue,
> who cares what S thinks"
> I said "it's a no win situation, I am not a ...city teacher anymore, but
> ....city doesn't want to know me".
> I also told him about (Br) and that perhaps the teachers were upset i knew
> some gossip - it wasn't anything they didn't know. I also added "people are
> reacting to everything i say, i don't know if it is guilty consciences". to
> which he nods and i continue "I'm not actually angry but if people think i
> am then perhaps they think i have good reason to be". I also add that "if i
> haven't been motivated thats because i haven't really felt like I have been
> given much reason to be. I visit the teachers and they ignore me, if i don't
> visit then I am not making the effort..i feel like i am being forced into
> this".
> to which he agrees and says "it's politics".
>
> We go for coffee again later and i say "it feels like i am not allowed to
> establish myself or make friends with anyone connected to (M) or the company
> ". He nods and  again tells me not to worry, "you've walked into two
> unfortunate office situations". I give him a disbelieveing look. I say "I
> can't help the fact so many people know, but that also means there is a damn
> lot of evidence i was getting upset" he nods looking slightly guilty "i let
> you down, (j) was almost not renewed and if he thinks he is on an easy
> ticket he's wrong. He blew up at (Mh - japanese staff member) the other day
> for giving him another kids class and she wouldn't speak to him the whole
> day". To which i reply "then why doesn't he get introuble for this shit".  I
> also add, " i didn't feel like i was wanted around during golden week, tell
> him i helped move and didnt get a thankyou...they don't even acknowledge my
> efforts". I add " I can't help the fact people know, I am not deliberately
> mouthing off".  I continue to add " i feel like people are trying to bait me
> into it".  he acknoledges it is simply me being present that is bad publicity.

> I also say,  "if there was such a problem in the classroom down here, why
> didnt (S) or (Sc - the area manager) come and observe me?" At this stage it
> had only been (Y - the office manager and she is not a teacher and (ma)
> twice himself)." I add "no one high up busted a gut to get down here and
> watch me or tell me, I was the one asking for help with the toeic and
> business classes".
>
> I watch the festival and invite the teachers up for my birthday. I get back
> on the Wednesday and Spend the day in my apartment. I can hear the others
> meeting the new chick, who i haven't met yet. This is going to look like i
> can't be bothered making the effort I am thinking. The next day i introduce
> myself and she comes to visit that evening. We have dinner with (P) and (M) the boss comes looking for us. I am uncomfortable the rest of the night becuause i know she is going to use things to say i am mouthng off.
>
> Afterwards I am having a cigarette on the balcony and (M) sees me we have a
> quick conversation and i say "I'm not smoking in my apartment as much
> anymore, it's starting to smell" she comes over and asks me how my holiday
> was and I say "good " I also add exasperatedly (d) invited everyone. She
> asls me what i did yesterday. I lie and say i went to Nikko, i don't feel
> like telling her anything.
> She points at the balcony and says. We talk about obon being the next
> holiday and she heads back to her apartment "we should get some chairs,
> we'll work something out" I simply glare at her. I have invited her, the new
> chick and (P) to my birthday party. She lies and tells me she didnt realise
> it was my birthday. I had told her twice before golden week and (Na) twice
> as well. I leave a note for (P) to visit me as i am upset.
>
> That Tuesday at work it is obvious they are trying to avoid me having alone
> time with the new teacher and none of the other teachers are spending long
> in the teachers desk area while I am alone. (Ia) takes the new girl to lunch
> that day which i notice is when we would have been alone in the staff room
> together when looking at the schedule.
>
> I invite the other teachers to my birthday and there seems to be an
> uncomfortable atmosphere in the air (By) says he is busy with (L). (Ia) says
> he will come, I also invite the staff (St and Mi and Mk). Two of them say
> they will come.
>
> It is during this week that i receieve the health insurance letter, but i
> did not open it at this stage.
> The night of my birthday I meet (e) at the train station and tell her how
> isolated I am feeling.
> She tells me  - "make friends outside, but you don't seem to be able to do
> that".
> We head to the bar (Mk) arrives and we meet another group of people one of
> whom is also having a birthday party.  I go and meet (k) and (kr) who are
> now an item. I take them to the bar. Everybody i invited from my old city is
> there and (M) the new girl and (P) are there, he has also invited some of
> his friends one or two (Ni and Jy) who i have met one night in april when he
> invited EVERYBODY including the other teachers of my company although noone
> came. (M) had a friend (Lu) coming to visit and i ran into her as i was
> going to get something to drink for (P's) waiting for him to arrive. All the
> teachers of my company call him to say they arent coming.
>
> Anyway I detect (m) is slightly angry at me she says "how is work?" I say
> "fine", she gives me a strange look and goes "yeah?".  I have a conversation
> with (Ni) he is going back to America and I say I am enjoying myself and
> tell him my family are planning to visit in August. (M) gives an annoyed
> sigh at this. I go to have a friendly chat with (Kr) and she asks me if the
> other teachers are coming. I tell her that (Ia) said he would come, and that
> reminds me so I call him but get no answer.
>
> We sing Karaoke most of the night after some dart playing. I am sitting next
> to (M) most of the night and singing away and then move seats and I am
> sitting next to (d) who is busy making out with someone. I ask (Kr) to
> choose a song for me. Some of the others join in. We head off soon after.
> (M) glares at me as she walks out.
> (P) and his friends stay at the bar. We go to a third bar which (e) meets us
> at later after not being able to find my apartment.
> I am detecting that (m) is angry at me when i am around (k) - note he is one
> person who was a witness to most of the harrassment and could back up a fair
> bit of the situation. She pulls me up to dance and throws/pushes me at one
> of the bar men, he starts trying to dance quite closely at which she gives
> me a strange look to imply "what are you doing". I back away and go and sit
> down with (k) again.
>
> She also seems annoyed when i talk to (Kr) she asks them both to stay in her
> apartment that night and glares at me. We have left (e) behind as she wants
> to stay and talk to the bar owners. I feel terrible and we stop on the way
> back to call her. (M) keeps walking but seems angry. We get back to the
> apartment eventually and (m) is still up we also see (p) and a friend of
> his. (Kr) needs to go to the toilet so we walk past and head to my apartment
> and i catch another evil look from (m) as they head into my place. I say
> something quietly to (k) while (kr) is in the toilet because i feel like
> something is up "I feel like a scapegoat" I say, but you were there "you saw
> most of it" to which he goes "i know....dont worry everything is
> fine....there's no problem, you're birthday was a good night".
> We go for breakfast after getting dressed. (d) has met us by then and we are
> to bring (m) back some McDonalds i kind of laugh at her and giver her a look
> meaning "you're going to have to open the door".@I see (d) off at the train
> station after telling her about things. I bring up the feelings of isolation
> (j) is allowed to get on with things why can't i....it's too hard to get
> away from when the whole bloody koriyama office knows about it and it just
> seems to keep being brought up". She encourages me to quit - give two weeks
> notice and see how you feel".
>
> The environment at work is hostile, at least i feel like it is. I arrive and
> (Ia) doesn't even apologise for not coming to the birthday party.  This is a
> tuesday and the area management is also down. I know something is up as
> none of the teachers are talking to me and the boss of my culture centre
> comes and asks if everything is ok. i ask to have a coffee with (m), she is
> hesitant at first but I give her a serious look as if to say "it's what you
> want" to which she nods.
>
> We sit down and have coffee and I say to her
> "at the risk of exacerbating things even further" to which she shakes her
> head, but i think she is lying. I continue " I am not sure exactly what is
> going on but I have actually had a word to (ma) about whats going on here
> and he admitted the yuki told the staff and that the teachers were told
> about my first city....I can't help the fact that people know... i have a
> reputation to live down i have to accept that". She replies "...you have
> noooooo reputation like THAT, let me tell you".  I continue and say "I feel
> like people are reacting to everything i do, it's little things like asking
> the date..I know people here know". She lies to me and says "no, the
> teachers finding out would be unprofessional of me". She continues " i don't
> talk to Na about it" i know this is a lie from the whole "crazy" and "stop
> it Na" incident and the dinner with (Yr) that she does and i haven't been
> theone who did it.
> We talk about who knows an she says " I know, management knows, and the
> people in the meeting at (.....) know, (jo) knows because you told us
> that night remember?" I say "yes". I say I don't want everybody knowing and
> I don't want to talk about what happened anymore" and she says "tell me the
> whole story..i only now some...it was totally like harrassment right". I say
> "it's a separate issue and i want it dead as much as you do. I am not
> running around trying to get everyone to quit ot turn the whole world
> against (j)". "i know" she says and smiles.
> I also add "I'm not an evil person...you have been panicking around me since
> (ne) observed me" she denies this, but i can tell i am right. She couldn't
> make eye contact with me that day. I say the other teachers seem worried"and
> she says "that you might use things against them". and i also add "I am
> sorry if I have upset you somehow, its not been intentional, but some of it
> has been to bait or test to see if you are actually worried about the email,
> I have no intention of suing or anything of the sort...". she says "i know"
> and smiles. Her mother had been worried about this
> when i was in sendai for the kids training so i knew it was partly true,
> they were trying to keep me happy, but i probably wasn't getting renewed.
> But i still wanted to know what was going on.
> She cuts me off and changes the topic.
>
> Instinct tells me that from what happened to (Br) that my birthday party no
> show by the teachers wasn't a coincidence.  I say to her "not everything i
> am doing is deliberate...but i think too many people know and the gossip is
> going around in circles". She tells me to relax and the conversation changes
> to more menial things. She tries to reassure me that nobody knows, which i
> know is a lie by the way they react simply to words like christmas or movie.
> I head back for class. (Ia) looks at me and gives me a disappointed 'hi'. I
> say nothing.
>
> The next day I call headquarters because i know (m) is lying to me, but i cant call her mother because its the bosses daughter i am having a problem with
> and i am tired of trying to get a straight answer out of her when i do ask
> her. I speak to (Ne - who's name is on the email) and tell him "look i don't
> know what you are hearing, but if you think i am running around threatening
> to quit again, it's not actually true I have never said anything of the
> sort. I feel like everything I am doing is being construed against me" to
> which he says there's no problem in the classroom"  He also adds "perhaps
> the other teachers are set in there ways" I simply go "sure", and he adds
> "you're happy right?" I reply with a terse "yes".
>
> I get back that evening and things have changed. The atmosphere is a bit
> better the staff seem pleased for me. The teachers seem ok, but things are a
> little awkward.
>
> We have a teachers meeting the following day and the tension between (m) and
> myself is quite obvious and its is obvious people in the room know about our
> discussions. Especially when the words pro development day and the name (ne)
> comes up as he is moving back home in August. I had lost a student (Iz)
> which i contribute to the fact that i was privvy to the knowledge she was
> sleeping with (Ia) - this is because (Br) told me while we were at the
> restaurant.
> Later they are joking "when is "Br" going to leave the office" - perhaps
> hinting at the fact that because i knew the same information i was disliked
> just as much.
> I leave for my culture centre shortly afterwards.
>
> That weekend I have a new lesson to teach I arrive for the first time in a
> while at 10.20 am
> and (Ia) arrives after me. He seems surprised to see me there and i notice
> him look at my keys strangely.
> Later that day I have a lesson to teach which the student is supposed to
> pick me up for. (Ia) had said he would walk me down. I ask (mh) where to go
> to meet the car and she tells me she doesn't know. this to me now seems a
> lie - she works there every saturday, she must know. I ask (Ia) as he walks
> out of a classroom and he gives me a long speel  mentioning an alley way he
> says it could be a mazda or it could be a station wagon. I go outside
> looking for the car and can't find it. I go back up twice and tell (Mh) that
> i can't find the car. (Ia) points his head out and says "he's right there
> and shows me the mazda" I apologise a few times feeling very frustrated at
> the tension that has been going on with all the teachers and he says "it's
> your problem with (mh), take it up with her.
> (mh) is on the phone to (st and management) I go back down the car has gone,
> so i come back up and (Ia) says "right in front of your face and you
> couldn't even see it, he's driven off". I am getting extremely upset by this
> I apologise and he says "don't get me involved in whats going on".
> I go downstairs looking again. I see the car driving off again and run after
> it and finally catch up to the car. My student from my last class had been
> there watching all of this commotion.
> Neither (Ia or Mh) actually told me to simply wait downstairs which is where
> the car always waits. They were being deliberately unhelpful. "i don't know"
> and "oh its.............".
>
> I come back from the lesson and (O - the manager of my culture centre) is
> there. I burst into tears and he and (mh) take me into another room. I have
> a lesson starting at 3. The student and her mother saw me crying just before
> i went to a separate room. I am crying a lot and (Ia) comes and talks to me.
> I have a go at him and say " i can't win, damned if i do and damned if i
> don't ", he says "can you teach a lesson? that's all that matters". and I
> say "the only way for you to prove I am not mouthing off would be to ask the
> students and people themselves...I'm sorry i went out with Br (because to me
> that seemed to be what this was about, i was getting the same treatment and
> isolation as him)".  In response (Ia) replies "i don't know what you are
> talking about".  I knew he was lying here because he had admitted it to me
> the saturday after the hanami party as i have noted.
> I continue that "if this is about (kr) she rang me, not the other way
> around". I had kind of twigged something was up here because the office
> manager gave me a funny look when i walked home alone with the new chick but
> again he denied knowledge. He went to teach his class I cried for a few more
> minutes went to teach and still burst into tears in front of the student but
> progressed through the lesson.
>
> That weekend (e) came down and I told her about the fight I had with (Ia)
> and crying in front of the students and she basically told me "you're
> leaving - write out the resignation tomorrow". I agreed. There was no point
> if i was crying in front of students. So i did this the following day.
>
> That Tuesday i went to work and asked the staff for a fax number to the head
> office. I had printed out two originals. I kept one and left the
> faxed copy on (Ms) desk. Miho came running in minutes later with my health
> insurance note saying it would take about two weeks. I gave the staff a look
> as if to say - don't tell me you weren't prepared for this already" and the
> staff manager nodded".
>
> Things basically got worse after that. I got no response or acknowledgement
> about the resignation whatsoever but i could tell they were pissed about it.
> They didn't like being made to look like fools and basically told me so.
> However i did not understand the problem when everyone had already been told
> i was leaving by (M). I was angry however because the words "I quit" had
> never actually come out of my mouth and they had nothing in writing until
> this day.
>  Sortly after this i was accused of throwing out a teachers gas bill, which if i did do i have no recollection of - the mail box had no lock it could have been anybody.

> It was unfortunate that the new teachers welcome party was coming up as
> well. The teachers managed to get there own back orchestrated a little by
> (S) in order to cover up for the new teacher who had twigged something
> pretty awful was going on from the minute she arrived.
> I arrive back from my day at the culture centre and (Ia) and (By) and (M)
> walk in angry at me. I am unsure why as i have not been in the office all
> day. (Ia) says hello to (Ba) but not to me. I am reading a book
> (Ia) almost drops his books and i ask if he is ok to which he gives me an
> angry (you bitch) look.
>
> The next day i have a sneaking suspicion crosses my mind that they have made
> 2nd harrassment claim to cover things up. (By) walks in and aks me about his
> tatoo "was he gentle" to which i smile and make a connection
> to what happened in (my first city), i had complained "it's in the office as well".
> (Ia) arrives and is angry at me (By) looks at us both and gives me an angry
> look and I look at him 'whats going on?'.
> They start talking and i think well if i have done nothing wrong at i catch
> (Ia) out when i talk to him about australia and give him a questioning look.
> He isn't angry at me because he responds and then gets look of being found
> out and then he and (By) look at each other. I turn away later that night i
> get back in the office and they are talking to me normally but oviously
> feeling guilty about something and (By) even gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> I can also tell by the fact the new chick seems angry at me and they will
> not talk to me in front of her or if (M) is around.  You would have to be in
> the office to understand how i mean this.
>
> By is going to the city where headqurters is the night of the farewell party which i also connect
> to reversing the gossip chain of who i told in headquarters branch about what happened -
> (By) is friends with (mr) so it is likely he has told him.
> I walk into the office that evening and (Ia) is gloating when he looks at me
> and so is (M). (By) gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> Again I am only suspicious because of indirect comments and peoples
> reactions and knowing the politics i know i have stirred up trouble by not
> dealing with (m) directly anymore.
> But (P) in my apartment building tells me i am right.
>
> At the welcome party i am sat next to three students who are supposed to
> have complained - yet they bought me birthday presents and signed up again
> and hug me at the end of the night. One of them is sleeping with (Ia). I am
> also sitting next to (Ia) and he and (Na) wink at each other as they sit
> down and then look at me. So i know something is going on. (Ia) moves seats
> just before the end of the night.
>
> We leave and go to (p's) birthday party afterwards. I leave the party about
> 1 i think. I hear the next morning (By) showed up shortly after i left.
> I ring the boss after the morning after the welcome party and she will not
> let me come to headquarters to meet her face to face.
> Things have simply gotten very nasty since the resignation and my instincts
> tell me they are making up a 2nd claim.
> (m) starts joking in front of the new chick about how (By) is funny when he
> drinks - he does "hey baby" to everyone. I mention "i have never seen him
> drunk, he's never done that to me" she gives me a smirk and the new chick
> looks at me strangely. Later at lunch (m) says i am the running joke, so i am pretty sure it is what they have done and by now feeling pretty disgusted that they would make a joke of the first office.
>
> Teachers find out i am seeing a counsellor which creates more panick - my
> medical certificate says the words emotionally overwraught. From here things
> get worse.
> They definitely think i am up to something and from the way they are taking
> copies of everything and the incidences with the health insurance i now
> think something strange has happened. They are defintley worried
>
> I go to my old city  and tell them i think something is up. It has obviously
> reached back to my old city
> because (kr) my replacement has heard. She is friends with the boss (Ss) son
> and in contact with (m).
>
> Who is checking up on me to see if i am in my new city or not quite regularly.
> Even my old boss sounds relieved when i tell him i am in mynew city.
> Well if going to myold city was a problem then why did no one say anything.
> Hoever it is the implication i am receiving.
>
> My boss is down and seems to be hesitant to want to talk with me. But she
> sits down gives me a gloating look and says teasingly and i MEAN this "it's
> a completely different staff....". So i know the rehash/ running joke is
> true.
> I say the wrong thing about laying all the cards on the table - my intention
> was to get her to be honest because i know people havent been and i dont
> really understand what happened. She sees my anti depresents on the table
> and leaves after we exchange some harsh words. She tell me she moved me to
> give me a chance, which i dont believe and aks why i talked about it in my new office -
> i didn't and the only person who knows this for sure is me, the students and
> the other teachers themselves but they havent directly admitted it, but
> since my old boss has already told me, I am reminded of his words "you've
> walked into two unfortunate situations....." . I tell the boss that i think
> it is sick if she is making what happened in the first office a joke. "i
> tell her, if you honestly think being given a choice between punching and
> having your crutch grabbed is funny..." and she goes yeah it's hysterical.
> Shortly after this she leaves.
> At the very least it is bullying because i am being told by (M) to use
> different stairwells to avoid running into the new chick.
> (S) rings me while i am having breakfast about the new tenant. The landlords
> name comes up and as i mentioned before, she comes in speaking only japanese
> until the next day when she speaks english well enough to handle the water
> bill payment and wish me a nice flight at the least. (C) from shirakawa also
> comes up to check on things while the tenant is there, she was supposed to
> pick me up the day i arrived and didn't.
> Something doesnt add up - the wild goose chase for the car 'but it was right
> in front of you' - neither of them were going to help me, (Ia) not coming to
> my birthday party and the fact he was laughing at me when i started arriving
> at 10.30 again. I honestly feel like they are finding excuses to get me into
> trouble and since they have influence with the boss, they can say whatever
> they want. No one ever sat down and to tell me. If i was being fired for bad
> teaching they never sat down and told me this. Things were just nasty.
> The day I resigned (M) and (Na) took the new chick downstairs and told her
> everything about me and what happened in Yonezawa. I can only tell this from
> the fact that when the topic of movies (something happened with the boys at
> the movies remember) came up later that day in the office she gave me a
> sympathetic look and she actually texted (P) to check up on me.
> It's like the management is simply panicked about what i could say and
> trying to beat me to it instead of leaving it around. Little things like
> saying 'i forget' seemed to make people react with a gulity conscience.
>
> I have finally collected my last pay and am away from it, but it has been a
> difficult seven months.  But I am suspicious about a lot of things. I am
> also angry that i wasnt at least given a chance to be moved away from the
> fact everyone knew about the harrassment at the very least. Every time i
> tried dealing with the bosses daughter she wasnt honest with me - i put this
> down to her name being on the email.
>
> I am sorry it is such a long account, but to me little things dont add up -
> being told i could only apply for  3 months of guitar lessons, not putting
> the water bill in my name. The fact the staff were busy doing something
> dodgy with the health insurance while i was off for being emotionally
> overwraught. It at the very least was simply a situation where i would not
> have been able to do anything right. My conversations with my old boss who
> even acknowledged when i rang to say goodbye "it would have been simpler if
> you'd gone back to australia......i gave you some bad advice last time you
> were down (which was golden week)".
>
> To me it feels a little planned - she wasn't harrassed, she was moved to two
> offices and she still didnt work out. Well its a little difficult when the
> other teachers have barely had a conversation with me and things have been
> this hostile. Not all of this seems a coincidence - getting in trouble for
> arriving 'late' when it is the same thing that happened to the office staff. I was told it was ok.

Jun 4, 2005 at 09:52 o\clock

teaching experience continued.


> A few weeks pass and it gets to christmas time.
>
> Meanwhile in the office...
> (J) says to me - no younger men, no anal sex, no co workers...who have yo
> got left? All these stipulations.
> (t) says "you don't like sex"
> and i sy "maybe it just hasnt been that good yet"
> to which he says "would youlike to try the other side"
> I reply and what "become a nun?"
> (a) is still i the office for her first month at this stage.
> The next time things happenis the christmas party. (j) asks me to kiss a
> female student. I glare at hi and move away. The boys had asked me if i'dkissed girls just a few days bfore this and said they'd pay money to see it.  It was a joke at the time but......
> Then during a photo (t) tries grabbing my breast. I try pushing his hand away three times.
> I tell (a and d) at the party what has happened) I even speak to (k) and tell him - they know  am shitty at them and they are still doing it. I avoid both (t and J) the rest of the night and leave early.
>
> Another friend (jc) rings me as i get home and i tell him what has just
> happened and some of the other evens - he says "they're telling you you're
> alright, but they're messing with you and enjoying it".  Both (t) and (j)had women they were seeing. (j) was sleeping with three of his students.
> We find (d) in the office as she was asleep on (j's) desk. We try getting her home and find (ma) the boss downstars. We try and get (d) home and afterwards i walk back home with (ma) he tels me (t) kissed two students and (Y) the office manager is furious at him. He also tells me (j) was groping (y) but she seemed to like the attention. I tel him i am getting annoyed at (j) asking me for sex and tell him some of te comments "are you
> a good girl or a bad girl...etc" and I also point out that it is usually
> before he sees his married woman who happened to be a teachr for thecompany in another city. (j) was actually in trouble for this affair as
> well. 
> I tell (t and j) after hearing another one of their discussios about (j)
> and his three women and tell them not to try that shit with me. The nod in agreeance. This is just after the christmas party. I have lost a lot of weight because i am still quite sick at this stage.
>
> It is nearing christmas time(the company party was a week earlier) and the
> conversation has turned to christmas presents -(j) is boasting about
> unwrappng all of his and teasing (k) for saving his until christmas day.
> (J) gos -"i dont suppose i should be asking you" and grins. I say nothing.
> (k) aso managed to get herpes from a one night stand he had on a trip to
> korea durng the christmas break which the boys were teasing him about (a) and I were both in the office. This is after the christmas break, and in theoffice.
>
> The week before christmas we had decided to go to the movies to see alien vs
> predator. I get a phone cal telling me to meet them at the school and (t)
> basically tells me (j) said h's gunna fuck your cookie, how do you feel about that?" I hang up on them. (j) rings me back and tellls me to meet them at the school, there was no sexal comment fom him and he was persistent, lets go lets go.
>
> I am in a txi and (t) asks me if i was crying about him grabbing my boob at
> the christas party. I say no i was mad at you, there's a difference. then
> (j) goes and puts his arm around me, which i am trying to remove and starts
> asking me (cani touch your tits....) I say no a few times he changes his language to boob.  I tell (t) again i was mad at him we go inside for the movie and i talk to (k) about who is going to winthe fight. (J) starts asking me to grab his nuts for most of the movie. O the way to the movie he ran at me and grabbed me around the hips as well whih at the time seemed to surprise (t and k). It was winter so we were also having snowball fights.
>
> After the movie we walk back towards town and j) goes home. This is minutes after he has asked me to hit his backside. K, T and i join our boss at a bar.  (t) and i have a conversation about things and i say it's not really evergoing to stop is it? not completely? and he says nup. I tell him i have a riend i am going to see over new years who stayed at my house a few wees ago and nothing happened. he says why not and i say because i didnt want it to. The
> boyfriend was a lie, but i thought it mightcalm things a little. true or
> not seems irrelevant to me.
> (t) also asks e how much i remember about the time i played pool with them
> and i said not much. I remember punching joel, so i know he asked me for
> sex, nd i remeber losing my phone and having a go at you both but apart
> from that..." at which point (t) said yah "you were pretty drunk that
> night.....(j) was asking you -'do you wanna go home and fuck...(the amount
> of times he did this i am not sure and t wouldnt tell me) .  I said that is
> awful, i dont remember that, i just remember punching him, that's the only
> reason i do know he asked me. (t) says"sweet". I did not remember being
> asked  quite so repeatedly and this upset me. But i had woken up the morning
> after ad knew i had punched him, that was the only way i knew he had asked
> me.
>
>  have dinner with (ja) who i had been up at the school with after the
> chrismas party and give him another update. He seems annoyed and says "do
> they enoy messing with you or what?"
>
> a few days later the boys are talking aout women being a matter of geologyand time and pressure.
> (name of japanese staff) is again in the toilet/ kitchen area and (j) is
> asking her whathe has to do to prove he is a gentleman. The boss and I and
> the staff are decding who is going to share hotel rooms for an upcoming
> business training. I have to go because i have had problems in my company classes.
> They then start mouthing off about picking up women who don want you being even more exciting and time and pressure. (my boss, a and I all hear this conversation and it is not the first of a similar type). I walk around the corner and they go quiet and take off for a cigarette downstairs.
>
> I go to (d's) house to do an interview i was planning to prepare on japanese
> martial arts and tel her some of whats been going on.  "anytime you wanna
> grab my nuts, thats ok by me. She doesnt say much, but says " i will watch
> you both together next time and tell ou if he's being serious, but it
> sounds like he is, thats how he talks"
>
Around this time we had also gone out for our bosses birthday - we meet up
> ith an ex co worker of there's who knows them pretty well (m) and they
> stll keep in touch with. I ask him for advice and it is at this point my
> boss ma) offers to go over my head about things. I say id prefer not to. it
> should be alright. I also tell (m) not to say anything.
> During the conversation (k) tells me there is a 10,000 yen bet going and
> basically admits my suspicions. I ask (m) if it is likely to stp and he
> says, knowing (t) it's not going to. (d) even admits that (j) is on my case
> hard core. (mr) at the time tells me to"give em a taste, its going to be one
> of them or both before the years out" and (d) adds "yeah, i made out with (t) and
> it's fine".
> I had at this stage also told (k) i had a boyfriend who was then runing
> around asking everybody about it.
> Earlier during the day before we mt up with (mr) i had said to (k) -
> referring to the movie night, at which he was present "they're not topping,
> they're just getting sneakier". He nodded and shrugged "boys will beboys".
> My boss (Ma) and (d) hear this conversation. It is at this point i tell them
> I have a boyfriend (I am referring to a friend i caught up with in Kanazawa
> but lie and say we meet up in a near by city). I had told (d) i was going to do
> this, so she knew i was making it up. I tell (k) knowing that it will ge
> back to the boys.
>
> Shortly after the birthday things got out of hand.
> (t) asked me again in the ofice how much of the night i remembered. And i
> told him again "not as much as what you told me. Anything after (j) rang my
> dad is a blank". He again says "sweet" I say no, its embarrassing.
> (k) hears this conversation.
>
> The boys asked me out aain I said no and went out with the girls instead.
> They both asked me twice during the day and then i called them to join usas
> a group when i was at dinner with the girls. They didn't come i got a phoe
> call from (t) which i ignored initially and then (J) calls me. I answerthe
> phone, they ask me up to the school. I say no i have no money or alcohol
> three times, but he says come on come on.
>
> (t) was in trouble for kissing two students at the christmas party and he
> showed me a letter he had received fom the boss about it basically telling
> him he wasnt getting renewed.
> He lt me read it. Then the conversation turns to sex again. I am eventually
> asked by (t) if i want to fuck (j) i say no. (t) then says "do you want to
> fuck me?I say yes sarcastically, and (t then asks again (do you want to
> fuck (j)". I say "no".
> Then (j) asks "are you sure? " I say "yes "are you sure?" ys? "are you
> sure? at which point i just nod and he gets an excited grin and  look
> confused and say "how many more times do i have to say no?". The bos did
> not answer me.
>
> Soon  after (j) gets a call from a girl he is sleping with and basically
> offers me the choice - her or me. "a guy who's seeng three women doesn't
> care about you right, but you'd have a choice" i tell him "no, exactly, go
> fuckyou're booty call".
>
> This starts to ring alarm bells as it is what i said to (t) after the movie.
> "it's a no win situation, say yes ad I'm, the town bike if i say no, then i
> don't like sex" he nods.
> and he sas (j) doesn't actually like (y) that much anymore (meaning the
> office managr) I don't believe him and tell him so.
> the next thing i said was in SARCASM yeah if you know they're fucking four
> women at the same time and you still want to go there, then at least you'd
> have the choice right". He said nothing.
>
> We all get up to leave the boys have issed on the bosses jacket at some
> stage which i didnt actually realise at th time because it was taken behind
> a screen. They are also talking about punchng the boss (ma) before (t)
> leaves and raping (y) and wanting to fuck (a) one of the other female
> teachers in the city - there were three of us, but i wa the only one in the
> office apart form (a) from time to time. As we are walking out the door (t) asks me again if i was upset at the christmas party - this is the second time that night that they do. I tell them i was pissed off and leave the school.
>
> The next dy at work (j) gets into work and (j) can tell i am angry. He says
> "you know we were both hitting on you last night right". I nod uh huh. He
> goes -can i get some eye contact darling, so I look at him and he points at
> himselfand goes "suck it". I look away embarrassed and a little disgusted
> and almos in tears which he notices and asks if i am ok. I say no not
> really. (t nd k) were in the room when he said this. I look around for my
> boss (ma) but he is not there at the time.
>
> The next day I am out for dinner with (k) and my boss (ma) and our friend
> (e) and tell them what hapened
> "(J) got a booty call" i say " and he offered me the choice - him or the
I> nurse. nice huh". (ma and k look at each other but say nothing about it).> I also ask (k) if the boys (t and j) think i am deaf dumb blind or stupid or all of them, because they know i don't like it. He shrugs "I dunno".

Later that night i am back at (e's ) house and tell her i have made up a
boyfriend, because i had just gotten back from a weekend alone in (city name).
>That day (j) had also asked me to come and lie on a blanket with him in the>
classroom, so I am getting pretty annoyed and frustrated and am asking (e)
> what to do. She says "have you experienced harrassment before?" and I say
> "nothing like this" and she replies "you do hve an innocent look about
> you".
>
> During these months I have been to sendai twice to observe other teachers -
> once at orientation and another at my own volition. Also a few times by
> myself to do some sight seeing.
> > About a week later  - this is after my bosses birthday in Yamagata. (j)
> ivites me out to play pool. The boss hears this and says nothing.
>
> We alsohave training in (city name) the coming weekend. I say yes because i
> just dont think he is going to let up.
> (j) had had a phone call from one of his girlfiends a couple of days before
> and I remember (t) watching me for my reaction.
>
> We go out and end up hooking up. He was sitting there watching his drink and
> i could almost see him thinking 'tis is gunna work'. I vomited at which
> point he asked me home to fuck in notso crude a terms. I told him he was
> manipulative and he agreed. We end up a his place he give me some clean pj
> bottoms and i had a singlet top on. We are making out and i can see him
> grinning. I had left my keys in the office and dropped my wallet at some
> stage. He kissed me and motioned me over to the bed at which point i lay
> down and basically started going to sleep,  but he kissed me again. I told
> him he was an arsehole because i could see him grinning when i looked at
> him. I turned away again and he moved and started kissing me again and
> feeling me up at which point i said "i'm not going to fuck you" and then he
> tries again and i tell him "do you think i don't know i'm a bet. STOP". At
> which point he did.
>
> I stayed the night and left to get my keys etc in the morning. We both woke
> up and he said "see, we didn't do anything stupid, you didn't wake up with
> your clothes ripped off or anything"
> I say nothing to this.
>
> I got to work and both (t) and (j) were already there. My boss said to me.
> Did you lose something?  - he was referring to my wallet which the police
> had called about. I looked at the boys they were both laughing and gave me
> knowing looks. (j) goes "....had too much to drink last night" and they both
> laugh. I walked over to (j) looked at the pair of them and said "yeah, you
> may as well collect your money", and then said to (t) "go on, pay him". They
> sat there stunned. I am asking (ma) where the police station is (t) calls
> out (j) will take you" and they both laugh. I ask (y) to take me as i have a
> company class to go to and need my wallet. I have no other time to go. She
> is busy but (k) draws me a map and i start walking. I get lost and have to
> call a couple of times. I arrive and (y) eventually meets me at the police
> station, she is angry at me.
>
> (t) saw me in the car park the next day and walked up to me and put his arms
> around my shoulders "glad that's over?" he asked to which i said "yes". He
> didn't say much but i got a feeling it was NOT 'over'.
>
> That weekend while up at the fukushima training i had a conversation with
> the bosses daughter and a friend of hers about things, because i was quite
> exhausted by things. I was still having trouble in the classroom and it
> didnt seem to be getting any better.
> They encouraged me to speak to the boss (S). Which i did.
> After the training she had a meeting with me and my branch boss, she
> announced this in front of everyone at the training "....,(ma) meeting now".
> I sit down and the first thing i was told was i am not getting renewed. I
> hit the roof started crying and reminded her how sick i had been -
> bronchitis, pneumonia, and the ear infection and told her what had been
> happening with the boys and some examples of things that came out of there
> mouths,
> I told her i did not come here to be harrassed and put up with this, i came
> here to do a job. She said "you're too sensitive, you need to role with it a
> little. It's japan, get used to it". But I was nevertheless given two more
> months to fix things.
> I was then taken into another room with management after a while and they
> showed me just how bad things were in the classroom. I asked for a transfer
> which at this point i was refused because of the poor teaching. My boss
> wanted some time to think about how to handle matters because i told her i
> was concerned about their reaction if she did. They have a reputation for
> violence and do tend to lash out a little which i found a little
> intimidating. But she basically told me "you're too sensitive".
> She wasn't going to speak to (t) because he had resigned just that week
> after getting the letter about the christmas party. She was considering
> speaking to (j) and had asked (ma) not to say anything at this stage.
>
> I hadn't told her very much at this stage just the main events - pool,
> christmas, the movies and some of the sex talk and about hooking up with
> (j). but when we got back to work after the training the boys were unusually
> quiet towards me (t) in particular.
>
> The following tuesday after the meeting in (city name) i arrive at work and
> find the japanese manager has left an email from the boss on the desk saying
>
> "
> The training in (city name) was an overall success. the meeting with ......was
> tough. however it is my feeling that we should give her this one (last)
> chance to turn things around in the class room. But it looks like .....is
> "the strange one". I spoke to j,d,a,m,n,ma and they all said the same thing
> "she's weird" so unfortuantely i don't hold much hope. I was pleased with ma
> he dealt with her openly and honestly. I think being AMC has done amazing
> things for improving his self confidence.
>
> "
> note that peoples names and the words strange and weird were underlined on
> this, which only upset me more..
>
> I was pretty angry that this was left on the table for all the teachers to
> be able to read and told my branch boss this. The japanese manager got into
> a lot of trouble for it. I had kids training that weekend as i was in
> trouble with a couple of kids classes and (M) the boss (S's) daughter had
> called me to come for the training.
>
>
> I spoke to (S) the head boss again about things told her some more of what
> (t and j had done) and that the email didn't help, which she acknowledged,
> but didn't aplogise for. She said, look "there are three issues here. the
> teaching, the harrassment and the email".
> I was pretty upset. She could see this and told me she had called around and
> i had the support of the other women in the office to back me up. She said
> that the email had been in reference to the eye contact problems i was
> having in the classroom. The earliest she said she could transfer me was
> April, but she gave me a choice and said "as a friend i would leave - you
> don't need this, but its your choice". We went through my options and she
> encouraged me to hang in there and said she had spoken to the girls and
> other teachers. At this stage i did not know she was going to ring (j) that
> night.
>
> That Tuesday he was furious at me and neither he or (t) were talking to me.
> (t) had already been unusually quiet towards me since fukushima so they must
> have known something was up.
>
> My boss (ma) had responded when i read the email on the monday "it was
> pretty harsh" and apologised- i told him straight away because i was very
> angry- he claimed that words were underlined for staff to use a dictionary -
> this was a ridiculous comment because it was peoples names and the words
> weird and strange that were underlined. The staff did not need a dictionary
> for these things.
>
> I was upset and had been talking to my mother who had also ended up ringing
> the head  boss (S) about matters, they had a discussion about things - the
> email, the boys and the problems in the classroom. Mum was worried  because
> i was quite distraught about the email. But (S) explained she had spoken to
> me about it and apologised for it over the phone.
> By this stage (j) had been spoken to and the boss had rung around to check
> with the other teachers what was happening. (ma) had also done some
> investigating with the other teachers and locals. I had a word to the boss
> (S) after she had spoken to my mother and she said that (j) had been
> "genuinely surprised that you were upset, because you were up at the school
> with them",
> to which i replied "they knew -"(k) has spoken to them on my behalf as
> well". She was pinning (t) as the ringleader and saying (j) is ok, he just
> follows (t) too much. Part of this was true as the lines (j) used were from
> the conversation i had with (t) after the movies. She wanted me to try and
> tough things out, but said it wasnt a gaol, if i wanted to leave i could do
> so. She told me i was being too sensitive and imagining things. But she also
> said we could work something out "i don't want a law suit any more that you
> do". I had mentioned i had contacted the labour office to her.
>
> The atmosphere in the office was pretty bad after this. there was silence
> for a while and then i had a word to (k) because i wanted things back to
> normal and said i didn't like the silent treatment. One of the office staff
> actually thanked me as she walked past me.
> They (t and j) were both furious at me, but the sex talk still continued -
> however not towards me and i was avoiding the office. I had to give a class
> i had lost to (t) and as i was giving him the files i said - i "i have tried
> ...........and they wanted a male teacher" to which he replies "yeah, I'll
> stick my dick in them". I said nothing.
>
> Things got worse because i actually tried talking to (t) about what had
> happened and said some very harsh things. I was observed at a company class
> which was the night i tried talking to (t). I was upset and probably would
> have spoken to anybody who was there. The management had no confidence in my
> teaching and things just werent going well. I was a mess.
> This only exacerbated their anger towards me. Because they wouldnt listen
> properly or even prepared to hear me out. I was not only upset about them,
> but being sick and all the other factors involved as well. I dont know if
> they interpeted this properly.
>
> The morning after I walked in and the boys started singing  "i hate you, you
> hate me......" theme song for  (school name). I walked away to get a coffee
> overhearing
> "so is dingo sex one word or two words?" - "no, it's one word".
>
> I had been talking to my boss (ma) about things and he was saying - its hard
> to come down heavy on them because you've been going  out with them. I had
> been out with them twice on my own the other times were as a group or (k)
> had been there.
> Don't forget (k) has been threatened with violence and put up with a lot
> from them as well. "You need to be able to separate your personal life from
> work".
>
> I had called the (city name) labour office twice around this time and posted on
> the "teacing in japan discussion forum" around this time as well at my
> parents advice and also because i was upset. They were just as angry for me.
>
> I had been visiting (e) a lot and talking things over as i was finding it
> difficult to make a decision - quit or not etc and was still raw from what
> had happened. I had physical reactions - not wanting to drink and basically
> feeling like something had been forced down my throat and wanting to be
> sick.
>
> At the same time i am ringing (S) about the problems in the classroom - and
> this is making the situation worse because (t) and (j) think it is about
> them. I am also having trouble feeling like i can't approach the office
> manager her response is always "I'm busy".  I know she is angry about the
> classroom problems, but i didnt know the full extent and didnt realise why
> she was angry with me half the time.
>
> They seem to be enjoying making fun of me
> " i kissed a boy but i'm, a defenseless woman and didnt want to". looking at
> me and then smirking and laughing at each other. Mainly silent treatment
> though.  However i still had to catch a taxi with (j) to the trains station
> on Tuesdays for a class and part of them was trying to find out what was
> going on and I am not good at keeping my mouth shut, which made things
> worse.
>
> After reading the email I was quite distraught and had been out with a
> student who (t) and (j) both happened to teach. Earlier that month she had
> asked me for their numbers, which i didn't give out. I told her how upset i
> was at work and started crying. She ended up panicking and ringing the
> office manager after I had gone home. Her and my boss had everyone looking
> for me. This was a genuine over reaction. I was simply very upset, but the
> student was concerned.  Two weeks later she complains about (t) harrassing
> her as well. She was the same student (j) had asked me to kiss at the
> christmas party. I don't know the full details of her complaints but (t) was
> no longer her teacher after it.
>
> I decided to resign because i couldnt handle staying and the anger and
> tension in the office was quite hostile. I rang my boss (S) to resign and
> said look I am digging myself into a bigger hole staying here. I can't get
> on top of things because i am getting to upset.
> I resigned and a few days later she rang me back offering me a transfer
> beginning in March instead.
> I accepted and was transferred. I am upset to be leaving but know i have to.
> I have dinner with the other teachers and some of (e's) friends.
> The boys are loving every minute of me leaving. I am hearing them talking
> about screwing one of the female replacements - (t and k are also leaving in
> a few months and my replacement is another woman). "one of them's going to
> have to be dumb enough to" and (j) replies "well its happened before". I am
> upset by this but only have a day or so left so forget about it.
>
> A teacher from Shirakawa is supposed to meet me, but the boss (S) meets me
> instead and is still convinced i was imagining things. This is because i
> tell her about a conversation i had with (j) about high school girls and
> kids games and sharing - it's how they think......if you heard the talk you
> would know what i mean. People in the office understand what i mean about
> this. She just thinks i am being silly.
>
> She takes me shopping to buy some things for the new apartment. I am
> introduced to one of the other teachers (N) and (S's) daughter (M) is also
> down for the weekend. They have helped set up my apartment. During the day
> (S) has a meeting with (I) my boss to be at the new office. I am also left
> in my apartment to set up a little while (S, Na and M) have a discussion
> about things.
> I am taken shopping by (N) to get some tables and chairs for the apartment.
> I have bought some things off (Je) one of the other teachers.
> Things seem fine for the first month i am in the new office. I gather that
> the staff and teachers know the full story. (By) one of the teachers is
> friends with (m) who i spoke to about the situation  at my old boss (ma's)
> birthday party. I also had to ring him about my apartment package as it was
> his apartment i had moved into in the first office. He says to  me that
> "(By) told me you were moving..." I say yes, ask him about the package. (Y)
> my office manager was angry at me because i want everything now now now.
> Again i couldnt help it. I was moving the next morning. I needed to be paid.
> Anyway. Basically the gossip chain made things difficult for me and while
> none of the other teachers have actually admitted it to me. I know they have
> been told the full story and so have the staff.
> I needed a map to get to the train station on my second day and (I) had a
> word to me and said don't worry, people were concerned because you were
> concerned - they were worried "is she flipping out again, is she quitting".
> So I know he was told by (S) when i was moved and they had a meeting.
>
> I think i should write some of the complaints in the classroom and also what
> the teachers were saying about me at the fukushima meeting when (S) was
> trying to get to the bottom of the teaching problem.
> (j) told her i was a little odd and that (t) had been quite beligerant and
> rude towards me.
> (d) said weird
> (ma) said weird
> "she looks down", "she always eats salad". "she laughs and smiles to
> herself"
> I was also blanking out in the classroom - not noticing when students had
> finished an activity and drifting off. Forgetting names also.
>
> What i am going to write next is difficult to put across, but to me it feels
> like they planned to recreate the first office to get rid of me simply
> because of the email. Something odd defintley happened. No one ever said
> anything directly to me - if it was complaints or if it was going to visit
> my old city. I only have instinct and indirect comments and a conversation with
> my old boss and the bosses daughter to go on plus the fact some very shady
> covering up was going on when i did resign. I started to feel like a
> scapegoat. But at the very least there was some nastiness going on which i
> didnt understand - getting sent on wild goose chases for cars, being accused
> of throwing out gas bills for example.
>
> 1. Health Insurance - i paid for one year in  my old city and again paid for one
> year when i moved. The receipt for the new city/ the date of payment is
> 17.4.19.  I received a letter from my old city hall in the last week of
> april basically refunding me 2,400 yen. This is dated 17.4.15. I hadn't
> opened
> this letter until after i resigned in wiriting on the 16 May. I get a note
> from one of the staff about my health insurance sayng it will take two weeks
> and they will give me cash because the post office can't accept the payment.
> I did not ask city hall to do this in either city and i did not verbally ask
> them to stop my health insurance and neither had i verbally expressed that i
> was quitting at any time until i gave the resignation in writing on may 16.
> After i resigned i had the last week of may off work for being emotionally
> overwraught. I was called to come in and bring the health insurance book. I
> thought nothing of it at the time. They kept the book. I got home saw the
> letter and looked at the date and thought something seemed odd - i went back
> to the office - this is about 10 minutes later and the staff are busy
> photcopying all the pages. I ask for the health insurance booklet back and
> they seem a little hesitant, but i get it back.
>
> 2. Water bill. We have a family who own the apartment building (the Nd's). I
> was never introduced to these people and usually you need to meet them to at
> least have your water bill put in your name. I was not given a receipt for
> this.
> I did not meet the landlord until she came to collect my last bill et the
> end of May. No one introduced me to them at any stage either despite me
> asking. The new girl that arrived at the beginning of the month and met
> them, she was waiting for them to bring forms to sign for the water service.
> I never did anything of the sort. Electricity and Gas were in my name but i
> have no idea about the water.
> When i move she brings a new tenant to th apartment - i have just spoken to
> the boss (s) who knows i havent met her at this stage. The lanlord comes in
> speaking nothing but japanese. I say nice to meet you in japanese which she
> simply nods at and smiles.
> The day she comes for my water she speaks perfect english enough to wish me
> a nice flight and collect the money for the bill. I say again, "nice to meet
> you finally", to which she says nothing.
>
> 3. I come into work after seeing a counsellor in tokyo this is the day after
> i have given them a medical certificate for being emotionally overwraught. 
> (m) and the staff see me at the photocopier and have nervous looks as i
> photocopy the apartment package list. Again (m) is a little jumpy when i
> hand her thelist and she sees i have a copy for myself.
>
> I will explain why these three points concern me in more detail
> later...first........
>
> During march we had to go to the boss (S's) daughter (M's) birthday party. I
> arrived and was met by her son during the party i was being watched like a
> hawk for my social skills - putting a drink down etc, and to see if i was
> paying attention to the conversation. (J) and (D) from my old city were also
> at the party. The last seat available was right in front of (J) and he
> laughed at me as i sat down. We didn't really talk except to pass food
> around. The night ended around 11 and i went back with the boss and (N) to
> her house. (j) had taken off. Neither of us went to the 2nd party.
> I went pretty much straight to bed and (S) and (Na) stayed up talking. I
> came down to get a drink of water and heard (J's) name being mentioned in
> their conversation. I went back to bed.
> The next morning (Na) and i went back to my new city by her car. I didn't
> say very much.
>
> Somewhere during my arrival - i think my first week. We had a small house
> warming at (By's) place when i arrived. All of the teachers were there. I
> wasnt drinking and was pretty quiet. I met (P) my neighbour this night as
> well. They were planning to go out afterwards, but i didnt want to go. (P)
> came to my apartment to see if i was ok, because i had kind of taken off. I
> told him briefly about things in my old city and he said "people have talked
> about you here". He left not long after to join the others.
>
> That weekend I was down for (a's) birthday party and happened to meet my
> replacement in the office (kr). I still had transfer forms to send her. I
> had been going to my old city on Tuesdays to teach as they had no one to
> cover my classes for the day. I asked for her number in case she needed to
> call me about the classes. I went back to (E's) house to stay.
> It was clear they didn't want me going to my old city because at
> first they had said i could stay over in my apartment while no one was there
> instead of taking the last shinkansen at 9.11pm - i finished teaching at 9pm
> and had to rush out the door. I had been visiting on the Mondays as this was
> my day off to see (k) and (e) who had been very supportive of me through the
> whole mess. I happened to tell the boss (S) when she rang me about (m's)
> birthday, that i would be staying over at (e's) on the monday in my old city to
> be ready to teach on the tuesday. and all of a sudden I am no longer able to
> go to my old city on Tuesdays until 4pm and must catch the last train home.  I
> was not aware of this and arrived one Tuesday as per normal and (y) the
> office manager says what are you doing hear? I said - "it is Tuesdays, I
> teach here". She made me ring my new office to see if this was ok. The staff
> and my new boss (I) had cleared it the friday before and said it was fine.
> I made a compromise and was allowed to catch a 3pm shinkansen to give me
> time to plan my lessons.
> The next weekend it is now april. I have a new boss, which just happens to
> be (M) the daughter of the head boss (S).
> I am down for (e's) birthday party and have a heart to heart with my old
> boss (Ma). I had just also been observed by the (city name) head management (Ne - who's name was also on the email) and told him i was a little concerned. He
> said that (S) had been happy with me and that i had found my niche in my new
> office he said "she is happy with the job you're doing".
>
> I said i was worried because (M - the bosses daughter) seemed panicky.  He
> said to me "(Y) the office manager was scared she'd get the blame if you
> fucked up, because the staff and teachers were told what happened
> here......I'm sorry, they were arseholes I had no idea just how much until
> this happened, i feel like i let you down terribly....They aren't here at
> this birthday party, that says something". I tell him " I still feel like
> somethings up...". He said "No, if you come here no one cares, it's fine. no
> one has a problem with it, we're all happy to see you". I acknowledge this
> but say "yes, but i think they are worried about the kids classes again". If
> they are or were, nothing specific was ever told to me except the parents
> want homework.
>
> I stay at (e's house) and she tells me not to worry so much.
>
> When (M) first arrived I had a welcome drink with (M and Na) on the first
> night that (M) arrived. things seemed ok, but i told her i was having a
> discipline problem with one particular student, she said nothing. We looked
> at her year book and things seemed fine. It is shortly after this that i am
> observed by (Ne).
> That same weekend (S) is down to help her daughter (M) decorate. I pop in to
> say hello, although no one had actually asked me to come. I was simply being
> polite and wanted to say hi to (S).
> I leave shortly after (Na) as i have work the next day. This is the day I am
> to be observed by (Ne). No one can tell me what time he is coming to
> observe. I ask the staff, I ask (Ia) and I ask (M) I even call (Ne) twice. I
> have a bus to catch. (Ia - the previous boss before M arrived) tells me to
> go.@I happen to meet (Ne) in the street and we catch the bus together to my
> class.
>
> I am told there is a complaint about the parents wanting homework - this to
> me sounds strange because i have been giving them workbook photocopies and
> if they dont finish them in class, then they have it for homework. (S) gets
> upset i have been photocopying because the students are supposed to buy
> workbooks - they don't.
>
> As mentioned earlier after this observation.
> (S) the boss is down visiting her daughter for the weekend.  i ring on my
> way back from the swimming pool on saturday and they dont answer. I get back
> and they are all sitting there laughing and talking. I text (M) the next morning and
> head off to my old city for (e's) birthday party. I see (Ma) about whats going
> on, tell him things seem tense and that i have been observed by (N). He
> basically tells me  (Y) the office manager was scared she'd get the blame if
> you fucked up", I ask him "why" and he says "because the staff and teachers
> were told". he later adds....."I'm sorry i really let you down.... I in turn
> ask  "why did he (j) get renewed, so many women have complained about them
> its not funny, someone is going to have to listen eventually".
> and he said "S likes J, she wanted to keep him, they (t and j) aren't here
> tonight, that says something....they're not nice people.....you can come
> here and no one would have a problem, you scared us sometimes, but
> anytime...there's no problem". He gives me a hug.
>
> Back in my new office
> No one really talks to me about the observation - Br tells me they were
> going through my files while i was gone though. I try asking (M) again a
> couple of times - once in the office and again when i visit her in her
> apartment.  I know something must be up because i have actually lost a
> wednesday night kids class, but at the same time i have signed up three new
> kids and an adult on saturdays. I seem to be making her angry simply by
> making eye contact and she doesnt want to give me much information. I get
> short answers when i ask her personal questions. and she never asks me any.
> I am not sure why she is distancing herself, but it is clear she doesn't
> want me around.
> She even seems to resent me making the effort to be friends with (Na) and
> perceives it as a political move to get a good word put in for me with (S)
> rather than sincere. They are quite good friends and I am not being accepted
> as a third basically. They take no interest in anything i say.
>
> Towards the end of april one of the teachers (Br) is leaving. He has invited
> all the teachers out to a students restaurant - mainly (Ba, By and Ia) for a
> boys night, but they decline and he asks me. I go.
> After the restaurant - singing karaoke and playing the flute we talk about
> why he is leaving - he had been interested in one of the teachers and told
> her he was attracted to her - she went to (Na) who in turn told (S) as they
> are good friends. Next, he meets a young japanese woman (who he is now going
> to marry). Her mother at the time complained to the school about the
> relationship and they weren't impressed. Her mother wrote a letter saying
> things were ok and the matter was resolved. (Ia - still boss at the time)
> told him to keep it as proof things were ok. (Br) missed a pro development
> day and afterwards (Ia) pulled him aside and told him (S) was pissed he
> didn't go and he was basically not getting renewed. Soon afterwards (S) was
> visiting (Na) for the weekend as she frequently does and (Na) called him to
> come and visit. He didnt go and he overheard (S) say "oh, i don't think Br
> is fitting in here...". After this the other teachers basically isolated him
> and stopped including him in things - this is according to him. I tell him
> about what happened to me and we have a bit of a whinge. Please note at this
> point this is a HIGHLY political company there is a foreign side and a
> japanese side shall we say and the two managers DO NOT get along.
>
> The next day at work i am given a gloating look by (M) as I am sitting at my
> desk, she is smiling or gloating looking down at me and i am not sure what
> is going on.
> I have a cigarette with (Na) on my way to work and offer to help set up for
> the hanami party.
> The next morning  (Na) and (M) hardly look at me and don't even acknowledge
> my help at the end of the day or during. Neither do the other teachers. They
> don't talk to me during the day and all back away when i try talking to
> them.  In fact i go and meet people at the bridge like a bit of a taxi
> service, i dont even get a thankyou for that.  One of the staff (Mk) had
> arrived early and the three of us were talking or at least i was talking to
> (Mk) and the other two weren't even acknowledging i was there, they simply
> talked to (Mk) or each other. I ask (Na) where they had their christmas
> party and she gets an angry look on her face but replies with a restaurants
> name.
>
> During the day i meet one of (Na's) students (Yr) she is a GP and has
> travelled quite a bit so we get talking. Na invites me out with the three of
> them. (M) glares at her.
> I overhear (M) telling the student and (By) that I am leaving. I assumed at
> the time that they meant me moving places to talk to other students.
>
> That night is (Je's) farewell party. (By) and (Ba) are there, but i dont
> talk to them much. My mum calls and i tell her i am feeling a little
> isolated and getting frustrated that (M) wont tell me what the problem is
> and that my efforts don't seem to be being acknowledged. I leave the party
> earlyish.
>
> I am intending to go to an onsen and text (Na) about where to go. I have
> also had a message from (Kr) my replacement asking me to call her to talk. I
> call her and she asks me about the situation with (t and j) I tell her a
> little bit of it hesitantly as she says that she understands where i am
> coming from the dynamic is a mess and she feels stuck in the middle and that
> she had a bad weekend.
> I end up going to visit (k) and (e) that night in my old city instead and see
> (Kr) there. We talk more during a walk to family mart. This seems to get me into to trouble as it obviously gets back.
>
> My new boss (M's) brother is coming to visit, he has been in Canada sorting out visa
> work. I know things arent ok at work because (Na) and (M) have stopped
> asking me to join them for cigarettes.
>
>
> That night i am having a cigarette as (na) and (ba) get out of a taxi and
> they laugh/look at each other knowingly and walk straight past me. Up in the
> office they ignore me and are talking about the dinner with (Na's) student
> and ignore me while i look at them as they are making plans about it.
>
> The tension is getting pretty obvious to co - workers especially (Br) and he
> advises me to try tallking with (M). I take his advice and go. This is a
> tense conversation. I ask her bluntly "I am detecting some tension with you
> me and Na", to which she lies and pretends nothing is wrong, I say - "is
> this about Bradley, because I have heard some gossip about why he is
> leaving". She says nothing. I ask her if people know what happened in
> Yonezawa and she says no, nobody knows, which i know is a lie - I can tell
> Natasha knows from her reaction to me saying the word christmas and dr. I
> say look, I appreciate the transfer i do, you know the history - which she
> did because i told her at fukushima and her mother had also filled her in. "
> she said i know bits and pieces of it. I say "look i want to be able to be
> open with you if there is a problem. I would like to keep my job" . She says
> things are fine i go out and meet her brother who seems angry at me also,
> but this passes.
> (Na) comes to visit as well and we make plans to meet for the student dinner
> that night. I can tell they don't want me to come.
> They also tell me they are planning on heading down to (my old city name) for a festival during golden week, which (D) had invited the whole company - all
> the branches too. The say yeah, we are meeting up in (city name), so lets go
> together. I say ok. They then start talking about (Ne) and say to me "you
> remember Ne right?" .  (his name was on the email) I simply say "yes". They
> then all start mucking around calling each other bitch.
>
> The next day at work  I am supposed to teach a class until 8.30 and we meet
> for the taxi at 8.40.
> I am sitting at the computer next to the staff. The students havent shown up
> and all of a sudden at about 8pm (St) the office manager asks me to stay
> back. I decline, saying i have a student dinner to go to with Na and M. She
> says nothing except that it is fine.
>
> I walk to the taxi with (M) and she asks me if i had a better day today. I
> say yes and again repeat that i appreciate the transfer. She says she is to
> observe me in may sometime. My old boss (Ma) and she says "yes he is a good
> AMC" (boss) and then says something which is verbatim from the email about
> him being open and direct.
> (M) asks me how work was today as we check the mail and I say (good) to
> which she gets annoyed at.
>
> (Na) seems surprised to see me at the dinner but i sit down next to (yr) the
> student. I am feeling alittle uncomfortable becuase i am detecting a lot of
> anger at me from them both, especially since they are ignoring me and only
> to talking to either (Yr) or each other. I mention that the students
> cancelled, a slight look of guilt passes over Na's face.
> I order a wine, while the others order beer. It is the first time i have
> drunk since the transfer having given up for lent and also simply because i
> just didn't feel like drinking. I had met (Yr) at the hanami party where i
> was drinking coke and she says "you haven't drunk in a while". Na says
> angrily "for lent right" and I say "yes" and give her a look to mean no i
> haven't said anything. So it is obvious she knows about the Yonezawa story
> and I have not at this stage ever said anything to her myself.
> The night continues and i do a personality test where you need to draw a
> picture. Certain things represent your family and partner and choices in
> life. (Na) and the student enjoy it (m) seems to get upset by it. I give her
> a look to say- i dont mean it like that.
>
> Note : I use this test in a couple of classes and the students seem to enjoy
> it. One of the students is sleeping with (Ia) and she cancels two weeks
> later. I use the test with one of (M's) students as well and (Na's) they
> enjoy it. I haven't twigged this is a problem yet. The students walk out
> happy, one gave me her email address. I et birthday presents from a couple
> of them and also presents from my culture centre students after golden week.
>
> The day after the dinner we help move things from (Br's) apartment into the
> new arrivals place. There is also a truck coming later to move the fridge. I
> help with the move. That afternoon she has some friends coming down to
> visit. One of the is (Jo) the young woman i spoke to first about things up
> at the business training where i had the meeting with the head boss (s). (Na and M) dont seem to want me to meet her again.

> We have coffee in (m's) apartment and they seem a little angry at me. (Na)
> tells me she is going to be away for golden week, I had previously offered
> to look after her cat for her, but she says nothing about it, so i dont
> bother to offer again. I tell them my birthday is coming up - may 7 i say,
> to which they say nothing.
> I also know that (Ia) has a friend coming down who is a psychologist.
> (By) is away in Thailand and no one can tell me when he gets back.
>
> We finish moving and shifting a few things in the apartment. The girls seem
> to want to be alone all of a sudden (Na) starts singing the words "crazy,
> crazy......"  to which (M) replies "(Na) stop it" they laugh a little. I get
> upset and go to my apartment. I tell them i have futons if the new girl
> needs them and to call me if they want them. They say nothing. As i head up
> to my apartment (m) looks at me and mimicks "cos i dont wanna be alone". I
> glare at her and get upset but head back to my apartment.
> I stay in my apartment the rest of the night. I know they don't want me
> around. Call it a hunch if you might but i think it was to stop me meeting
> (Jo) again, as she was the one who encouraged me to speak up about what was
> happening.

> (Br) has been giving me advice as well and we both decide that they are
> probably angry about going to the students restaurant - the politics - that
> student is sleeping with (Ia) and i know too much gossip that i could use.
> Considering what happened to him, it makes sense. He also says that "it's
> written all over your face that the politics are getting to you".
>
> Anyway, the next day is Saturday. I bring (Ia) his mail and tell him i
> helped move. The tension has been obvious and he says "thankyou", gives me a
> look and says "(Br) is the issue". I nod and say " I know". Later that night
> as i am leaving i wish him a good golden week and he tells me to take care.
> He can't tell me when (By) gets back from Thailand either.
>
> I go to (my old city) and my old boss is a little quiet towards me at first but
> detects there is a problem. We go for coffee and i tell him about what has
> happened - bring up the being ignored decorating and the fact that every
> thing i do seems to upset (M) and its not all intentional, I simply want to
> get on with things, but they are reacting to things i say. I tell him how
> frustrated i am. I say, I am not mouthing off, but people seem to know. I
> feel like every conversation i have is being used against me. I say i'm not
> drinking for lent". The other teachers seem be baiting me into it looking
> like I am its little things - if i forget something, then it means i am
> referring to one of the complaints here. If i cant find something in the
> bookshelf, then i am mouthing off about the fact it is right in front of my
> face and i could see it, no i never opened my mouth. I havent said anything
> to Na or Ba or By. I say  By knows because he and Mr are friends. Ia and Na
> know because (S) told them and I know the staff were told because you told
> me. But i said, "I am on the wrong side of her and I am not sure why and she
> wont tell me when i try asking her which only makes her more annoyed".
> I also happen to add here that Kr rang me and told me she had been hearing
> things about me and wanted to hear my side of things. He says "thats my
> fault she'd had a bad weekend"
>
> I said, it's like i can't win. "you guys wanted me here on Tuesdays for
> classes in March".
> He said "you will need to make your own life and friends outside of work,
> you don't need the other teachers, your personal life shouldn't be an issue,
> who cares what S thinks"
> I said "it's a no win situation, I am not a ...city teacher anymore, but
> ....city doesn't want to know me".
> I also told him about (Br) and that perhaps the teachers were upset i knew
> some gossip - it wasn't anything they didn't know. I also added "people are
> reacting to everything i say, i don't know if it is guilty consciences". to
> which he nods and i continue "I'm not actually angry but if people think i
> am then perhaps they think i have good reason to be". I also add that "if i
> haven't been motivated thats because i haven't really felt like I have been
> given much reason to be. I visit the teachers and they ignore me, if i don't
> visit then I am not making the effort..i feel like i am being forced into
> this".
> to which he agrees and says "it's politics".
>
> We go for coffee again later and i say "it feels like i am not allowed to
> establish myself or make friends with anyone connected to (M) or the company
> ". He nods and  again tells me not to worry, "you've walked into two
> unfortunate office situations". I give him a disbelieveing look. I say "I
> can't help the fact so many people know, but that also means there is a damn
> lot of evidence i was getting upset" he nods looking slightly guilty "i let
> you down, (j) was almost not renewed and if he thinks he is on an easy
> ticket he's wrong. He blew up at (Mh - japanese staff member) the other day
> for giving him another kids class and she wouldn't speak to him the whole
> day". To which i reply "then why doesn't he get introuble for this shit".  I
> also add, " i didn't feel like i was wanted around during golden week, tell
> him i helped move and didnt get a thankyou...they don't even acknowledge my
> efforts". I add " I can't help the fact people know, I am not deliberately
> mouthing off".  I continue to add " i feel like people are trying to bait me
> into it".  he acknoledges it is simply me being present that is bad publicity.

> I also say,  "if there was such a problem in the classroom down here, why
> didnt (S) or (Sc - the area manager) come and observe me?" At this stage it
> had only been (Y - the office manager and she is not a teacher and (ma)
> twice himself)." I add "no one high up busted a gut to get down here and
> watch me or tell me, I was the one asking for help with the toeic and
> business classes".
>
> I watch the festival and invite the teachers up for my birthday. I get back
> on the Wednesday and Spend the day in my apartment. I can hear the others
> meeting the new chick, who i haven't met yet. This is going to look like i
> can't be bothered making the effort I am thinking. The next day i introduce
> myself and she comes to visit that evening. We have dinner with (P) and (M)
> the boss comes looking for us.
>
> Afterwards I am having a cigarette on the balcony and (M) sees me we have a
> quick conversation and i say "I'm not smoking in my apartment as much
> anymore, it's starting to smell" she comes over and asks me how my holiday
> was and I say "good " I also add exasperatedly (d) invited everyone. She
> asls me what i did yesterday. I lie and say i went to Nikko, i don't feel
> like telling her anything.
> She points at the balcony and says. We talk about obon being the next
> holiday and she heads back to her apartment "we should get some chairs,
> we'll work something out" I simply glare at her. I have invited her, the new
> chick and (P) to my birthday party. She lies and tells me she didnt realise
> it was my birthday. I had told her twice before golden week and (Na) twice
> as well. I leave a note for (P) to visit me as i am upset.
>
> That Tuesday at work it is obvious they are trying to avoid me having alone
> time with the new teacher and none of the other teachers are spending long
> in the teachers desk area while I am alone. (Ia) takes the new girl to lunch
> that day which i notice is when we would have been alone in the staff room
> together when looking at the schedule.
>
> I invite the other teachers to my birthday and there seems to be an
> uncomfortable atmosphere in the air (By) says he is busy with (L). (Ia) says
> he will come, I also invite the staff (St and Mi and Mk). Two of them say
> they will come.
>
> It is during this week that i receieve the health insurance letter, but i
> did not open it at this stage.
> The night of my birthday I meet (e) at the train station and tell her how
> isolated I am feeling.
> She tells me  - "make friends outside, but you don't seem to be able to do
> that".
> We head to the bar (Mk) arrives and we meet another group of people one of
> whom is also having a birthday party.  I go and meet (k) and (kr) who are
> now an item. I take them to the bar. Everybody i invited from my old city is
> there and (M) the new girl and (P) are there, he has also invited some of
> his friends one or two (Ni and Jy) who i have met one night in april when he
> invited EVERYBODY including the other teachers of my company although noone
> came. (M) had a friend (Lu) coming to visit and i ran into her as i was
> going to get something to drink for (P's) waiting for him to arrive. All the
> teachers of my company call him to say they arent coming.
>
> Anyway I detect (m) is slightly angry at me she says "how is work?" I say
> "fine", she gives me a strange look and goes "yeah?".  I have a conversation
> with (Ni) he is going back to America and I say I am enjoying myself and
> tell him my family are planning to visit in August. (M) gives an annoyed
> sigh at this. I go to have a friendly chat with (Kr) and she asks me if the
> other teachers are coming. I tell her that (Ia) said he would come, and that
> reminds me so I call him but get no answer.
>
> We sing Karaoke most of the night after some dart playing. I am sitting next
> to (M) most of the night and singing away and then move seats and I am
> sitting next to (d) who is busy making out with someone. I ask (Kr) to
> choose a song for me. Some of the others join in. We head off soon after.
> (M) glares at me as she walks out.
> (P) and his friends stay at the bar. We go to a third bar which (e) meets us
> at later after not being able to find my apartment.
> I am detecting that (m) is angry at me when i am around (k) - note he is one
> person who was a witness to most of the harrassment and could back up a fair
> bit of the situation. She pulls me up to dance and throws/pushes me at one
> of the bar men, he starts trying to dance quite closely at which she gives
> me a strange look to imply "what are you doing". I back away and go and sit
> down with (k) again.
>
> She also seems annoyed when i talk to (Kr) she asks them both to stay in her
> apartment that night and glares at me. We have left (e) behind as she wants
> to stay and talk to the bar owners. I feel terrible and we stop on the way
> back to call her. (M) keeps walking but seems angry. We get back to the
> apartment eventually and (m) is still up we also see (p) and a friend of
> his. (Kr) needs to go to the toilet so we walk past and head to my apartment
> and i catch another evil look from (m) as they head@into my place. I say
> something quietly to (k) while (kr) is in the toilet because i feel like
> something is up "I feel like a scapegoat" I say, but you were there "you saw
> most of it" to which he goes "i know....dont worry everything is
> fine....there's no problem, you're birthday was a good night".
> We go for breakfast after getting dressed. (d) has met us by then and we are
> to bring (m) back some McDonalds i kind of laugh at her and giver her a look
> meaning "you're going to have to open the door".@I see (d) off at the train
> station after telling her about things. I bring up the feelings of isolation
> (j) is allowed to get on with things why can't i....it's too hard to get
> away from when the whole bloody koriyama office knows about it and it just
> seems to keep being brought up". She encourages me to quit - give two weeks
> notice and see how you feel".
>
> The environment at work is hostile, at least i feel like it is. I arrive and
> (Ia) doesn't even apologise for not coming to the birthday party.  This is a
> tuesday and the area management is also down. I know something is up as
> none of the teachers are talking to me and the boss of my culture centre
> comes and asks if everything is ok. i ask to have a coffee with (m), she is
> hesitant at first but I give her a serious look as if to say "it's what you
> want" to which she nods.
>
> We sit down and have coffee and I say to her
> "at the risk of exacerbating things even further" to which she shakes her
> head, but i think she is lying. I continue " I am not sure exactly what is
> going on but I have actually had a word to (ma) about whats going on here
> and he admitted the yuki told the staff and that the teachers were told
> about yonezawa....I can't help the fact that people know... i have a
> reputation to live down i have to accept that". She replies "...you have
> noooooo reputation like THAT, let me tell you".  I continue and say "I feel
> like people are reacting to everything i do, it's little things like asking
> the date..I know people here know". She lies to me and says "no, the
> teachers finding out would be unprofessional of me". She continues " i don't
> talk to Na about it" i know this is a lie from the whole "crazy" and "stop
> it Na" incident and the dinner with (Yr) that she does and i haven't been
> theone who did it.
> We talk about who knows an she says " I know, management knows, and the
> people in the meeting at (.....) know, (jo) knows because you told us
> that night remember?" I say "yes". I say I don't want everybody knowing and
> I don't want to talk about what happened anymore" and she says "tell me the
> whole story..i only now some...it was totally like harrassment right". I say
> "it's a separate issue and i want it dead as much as you do. I am not
> running around trying to get everyone to quit ot turn the whole world
> against (j)". "i know" she says and smiles.
> I also add "I'm not an evil person...you have been panicking around me since
> (ne) observed me" she denies this, but i can tell i am right. She couldn't
> make eye contact with me that day. I say the other teachers seem worried"and
> she says "that you might use things against them". and i also add "I am
> sorry if I have upset you somehow, its not been intentional, but some of it
> has been to bait or test to see if you are actually worried about the email,
> I have no intention of suing or anything of the sort...". she says "i know"
> and smiles. Her mother had been worried about this
> when i was in sendai for the kids training so i knew it was partly true,
> they were trying to keep me happy, but i probably wasn't getting renewed.
> But i still wanted to know what was going on.
> She cuts me off and changes the topic.
>
> Instinct tells me that from what happened to (Br) that my birthday party no
> show by the teachers wasn't a coincidence.  I say to her "not everything i
> am doing is deliberate...but i think too many people know and the gossip is
> going around in circles". She tells me to relax and the conversation changes
> to more menial things. She tries to reassure me that nobody knows, which i
> know is a lie by the way they react simply to words like christmas or movie.
> I head back for class. (Ia) looks at me and gives me a disappointed 'hi'. I
> say nothing.
>
> The next day I call headquarters because i know (m) is lying to me, but i cant call her mother because its the bosses daughter i am having a problem with
> and i am tired of trying to get a straight answer out of her when i do ask
> her. I speak to (Ne - who's name is on the email) and tell him "look i don't
> know what you are hearing, but if you think i am running around threatening
> to quit again, it's not actually true I have never said anything of the
> sort. I feel like everything I am doing is being construed against me" to
> which he says there's no problem in the classroom"  He also adds "perhaps
> the other teachers are set in there ways" I simply go "sure", and he adds
> "you're happy right?" I reply with a terse "yes".
>
> I get back that evening and things have changed. The atmosphere is a bit
> better the staff seem pleased for me. The teachers seem ok, but things are a
> little awkward.
>
> We have a teachers meeting the following day and the tension between (m) and
> myself is quite obvious and its is obvious people in the room know about our
> discussions. Especially when the words pro development day and the name (ne)
> comes up as he is moving back home in August. I had lost a student (Iz)
> which i contribute to the fact that i was privvy to the knowledge she was
> sleeping with (Ia) - this is because (Br) told me while we were at the
> restaurant.
> Later they are joking "when is "Br" going to leave the office" - perhaps
> hinting at the fact that because i knew the same information i was disliked
> just as much.
> I leave for my culture centre shortly afterwards.
>
> That weekend I have a new lesson to teach I arrive for the first time in a
> while at 10.20 am
> and (Ia) arrives after me. He seems surprised to see me there and i notice
> him look at my keys strangely.
> Later that day I have a lesson to teach which the student is supposed to
> pick me up for. (Ia) had said he would walk me down. I ask (mh) where to go
> to meet the car and she tells me she doesn't know. this to me now seems a
> lie - she works there every saturday, she must know. I ask (Ia) as he walks
> out of a classroom and he gives me a long speel  mentioning an alley way he
> says it could be a mazda or it could be a station wagon. I go outside
> looking for the car and can't find it. I go back up twice and tell (Mh) that
> i can't find the car. (Ia) points his head out and says "he's right there
> and shows me the mazda" I apologise a few times feeling very frustrated at
> the tension that has been going on with all the teachers and he says "it's
> your problem with (mh), take it up with her.
> (mh) is on the phone to (st and management) I go back down the car has gone,
> so i come back up and (Ia) says "right in front of your face and you
> couldn't even see it, he's driven off". I am getting extremely upset by this
> I apologise and he says "don't get me involved in whats going on".
> I go downstairs looking again. I see the car driving off again and run after
> it and finally catch up to the car. My student from my last class had been
> there watching all of this commotion.
> Neither (Ia or Mh) actually told me to simply wait downstairs which is where
> the car always waits. They were being deliberately unhelpful. "i don't know"
> and "oh its.............".
>
> I come back from the lesson and (O - the manager of my culture centre) is
> there. I burst into tears and he and (mh) take me into another room. I have
> a lesson starting at 3. The student and her mother saw me crying just before
> i went to a separate room. I am crying a lot and (Ia) comes and talks to me.
> I have a go at him and say " i can't win, damned if i do and damned if i
> don't ", he says "can you teach a lesson? that's all that matters". and I
> say "the only way for you to prove I am not mouthing off would be to ask the
> students and people themselves...I'm sorry i went out with Br (because to me
> that seemed to be what this was about, i was getting the same treatment and
> isolation as him)".  In response (Ia) replies "i don't know what you are
> talking about".  I knew he was lying here because he had admitted it to me
> the saturday after the hanami party as i have noted.
> I continue that "if this is about (kr) she rang me, not the other way
> around". I had kind of twigged something was up here because the office
> manager gave me a funny look when i walked home alone with the new chick but
> again he denied knowledge. He went to teach his class I cried for a few more
> minutes went to teach and still burst into tears in front of the student but
> progressed through the lesson.
>
> That weekend (e) came down and I told her about the fight I had with (Ia)
> and crying in front of the students and she basically told me "you're
> leaving - write out the resignation tomorrow". I agreed. There was no point
> if i was crying in front of students. So i did this the following day.
>
> That Tuesday i went to work and asked the staff for a fax number to the head
> office. I had printed out two originals. I kept one and left the
> faxed copy on (Ms) desk. Miho came running in minutes later with my health
> insurance note saying it would take about two weeks. I gave the staff a look
> as if to say - don't tell me you weren't prepared for this already" and the
> staff manager nodded".
>
> Things basically got worse after that. I got no response or acknowledgement
> about the resignation whatsoever but i could tell they were pissed about it.
> They didn't like being made to look like fools and basically told me so.
> However i did not understand the problem when everyone had already been told
> i was leaving by (M). I was angry however because the words "I quit" had
> never actually come out of my mouth and they had nothing in writing until
> this day.
>  Sortly after this i was accused of throwing out a teachers gas bill, which if i did do i have no recollection of - the mail box had no lock it could have been anybody.

> It was unfortunate that the new teachers welcome party was coming up as
> well. The teachers managed to get there own back orchestrated a little by
> (S) in order to cover up for the new teacher who had twigged something
> pretty awful was going on from the minute she arrived.
> I arrive back from my day at the culture centre and (Ia) and (By) and (M)
> walk in angry at me. I am unsure why as i have not been in the office all
> day. (Ia) says hello to (Ba) but not to me. I am reading a book
> (Ia) almost drops his books and i ask if he is ok to which he gives me an
> angry (you bitch) look.
>
> The next day i have a sneaking suspicion crosses my mind that they have made
> 2nd harrassment claim to cover things up. (By) walks in and aks me about his
> tatoo "was he gentle" to which i smile and make a connection
> to what happened in Yonezawa, i had complained "it's in the office as well".
> (Ia) arrives and is angry at me (By) looks at us both and gives me an angry
> look and I look at him 'whats going on?'.
> They start talking and i think well if i have done nothing wrong at i catch
> (Ia) out when i talk to him about australia and give him a questioning look.
> He isn't angry at me because he responds and then gets look of being found
> out and then he and (By) look at each other. I turn away later that night i
> get back in the office and they are talking to me normally but oviously
> feeling guilty about something and (By) even gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> I can also tell by the fact the new chick seems angry at me and they will
> not talk to me in front of her or if (M) is around.  You would have to be in
> the office to understand how i mean this.
>
> By is going to the city where headqurters is the night of the farewell party which i also connect
> to reversing the gossip chain of who i told in headquarters branch about what happened -
> (By) is friends with (mr) so it is likely he has told him.
> I walk into the office that evening and (Ia) is gloating when he looks at me
> and so is (M). (By) gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> Again I am only suspicious because of indirect comments and peoples
> reactions and knowing the politics i know i have stirred up trouble by not
> dealing with (m) directly anymore.
> But (P) in my apartment building tells me i am right.
>
> At the welcome party i am sat next to three students who are supposed to
> have complained - yet they bought me birthday presents and signed up again
> and hug me at the end of the night. One of them is sleeping with (Ia). I am
> also sitting next to (Ia) and he and (Na) wink at each other as they sit
> down and then look at me. So i know something is going on. (Ia) moves seats
> just before the end of the night.
>
> We leave and go to (p's) birthday party afterwards. I leave the party about
> 1 i think. I hear the next morning (By) showed up shortly after i left.
> I ring the boss after the morning after the welcome party and she will not
> let me come to headquarters to meet her face to face.
> Things have simply gotten very nasty since the resignation and my instincts
> tell me they are making up a 2nd claim.
> (m) starts joking in front of the new chick about how (By) is funny when he
> drinks - he does "hey baby" to everyone. I mention "i have never seen him
> drunk, he's never done that to me" she gives me a smirk and the new chick
> looks at me strangely. Later at lunch (m) says i am the running joke, so i am pretty sure it is what they have done and by now feeling pretty disgusted that they would make a joke of the first office.
>
> Teachers find out i am seeing a counsellor which creates more panick - my
> medical certificate says the words emotionally overwraught. From here things
> get worse.
> They definitely think i am up to something and from the way they are taking
> copies of everything and the incidences with the health insurance i now
> think something strange has happened. They are defintley worried
>
> I go to my old city  and tell them i think something is up. It has obviously
> reached back to my old city
> because (kr) my replacement has heard. She is friends with the boss (Ss) son
> and in contact with (m).
>
> Who is checking up on me to see if i am in my new city or not quite regularly.
> Even my old boss sounds relieved when i tell him i am in mynew city.
> Well if going to myold city was a problem then why did no one say anything.
> Hoever it is the implication i am receiving.
>
> My boss is down and seems to be hesitant to want to talk with me. But she
> sits down gives me a gloating look and says teasingly and i MEAN this "it's
> a completely different staff....". So i know the rehash/ running joke is
> true.
> I say the wrong thing about laying all the cards on the table - my intention
> was to get her to be honest because i know people havent been and i dont
> really understand what happened. She sees my anti depresents on the table
> and leaves after we exchange some harsh words. She tell me she moved me to
> give me a chance, which i dont believe and aks why i talked about it in my new office -
> i didn't and the only person who knows this for sure is me, the students and
> the other teachers themselves but they havent directly admitted it, but
> since my old boss has already told me, I am reminded of his words "you've
> walked into two unfortunate situations....." . I tell the boss that i think
> it is sick if she is making what happened in the first office a joke. "i
> tell her, if you honestly think being given a choice between punching and
> having your crutch grabbed is funny..." and she goes yeah it's hysterical.
> Shortly after this she leaves.
> At the very least it is bullying because i am being told by (M) to use
> different stairwells to avoid running into the new chick.
> (S) rings me while i am having breakfast about the new tenant. The landlords
> name comes up and as i mentioned before, she comes in speaking only japanese
> until the next day when she speaks english well enough to handle the water
> bill payment and wish me a nice flight at the least. (C) from shirakawa also
> comes up to check on things while the tenant is there, she was supposed to
> pick me up the day i arrived and didn't.
> Something doesnt add up - the wild goose chase for the car 'but it was right
> in front of you' - neither of them were going to help me, (Ia) not coming to
> my birthday party and the fact he was laughing at me when i started arriving
> at 10.30 again. I honestly feel like they are finding excuses to get me into
> trouble and since they have influence with the boss, they can say whatever
> they want. No one ever sat down and to tell me. If i was being fired for bad
> teaching they never sat down and told me this. Things were just nasty.
> The day I resigned (M) and (Na) took the new chick downstairs and told her
> everything about me and what happened in Yonezawa. I can only tell this from
> the fact that when the topic of movies (something happened with the boys at
> the movies remember) came up later that day in the office she gave me a
> sympathetic look and she actually texted (P) to check up on me.
> It's like the management is simply panicked about what i could say and
> trying to beat me to it instead of leaving it around. Little things like
> saying 'i forget' seemed to make people react with a gulity conscience.
>
> I have finally collected my last pay and am away from it, but it has been a
> difficult seven months.  But I am suspicious about a lot of things. I am
> also angry that i wasnt at least given a chance to be moved away from the
> fact everyone knew about the harrassment at the very least. Every time i
> tried dealing with the bosses daughter she wasnt honest with me - i put this
> down to her name being on the email.
>
> I am sorry it is such a long account, but to me little things dont add up -
> being told i could only apply for  3 months of guitar lessons, not putting
> the water bill in my name. The fact the staff were busy doing something
> dodgy with the health insurance while i was off for being emotionally
> overwraught. It at the very least was simply a situation where i would not
> have been able to do anything right. My conversations with my old boss who
> even acknowledged when i rang to say goodbye "it would have been simpler if
> you'd gone back to australia......i gave you some bad advice last time you
> were down (which was golden week)".
>
> To me it feels a little planned - she wasn't harrassed, she was moved to two
> offices and she still didnt work out. Well its a little difficult when the
> other teachers have barely had a conversation with me and things have been
> this hostile. Not all of this seems a coincidence - getting in trouble for
> arriving 'late' when it is the same thing that happened to the office staff. I was told it was ok.

Jun 4, 2005 at 09:14 o\clock

Teaching in Japan

I am writing about an experience i had teaching in japan.

I am writing because i felt at the time like no one was listening to me when i was upset and there is plenty of indication of just how upset i was getting and nothing was being done. I was telling mybranch boss, the other teachers and when i did speak up at a training session i was told i was imagining things. It felt like EVERYONE was encouraging me to do something i DID NOT want to do.

On top of this i was sick from basically the minute i got off the airplane.

After being transferred, i resigned again because i was being treated like a scapegoat and isolated. As a result of that 2nd resignation what happened in the first office was made the running joke of the company.

What happened was not funny to me and there is plenty of evidence i was getting upset. But the only responses i ever got were "boys will be boys". The other thing to note is that it  was a small town with 7 foreign teachers and when i first arrived and things, there was only one female and four males.

Basically I arrived in Japan in October to teach english in japan.
> I was the only girl in the office iwas sent to. Three of the men being in
> there twenties so the sex talk was pretty out there. I can give you plenty
> of examples. "tell me you don't talk about getting a good stiff cock when
>your out with the girls"  me "ummm, I'm not that blunt...."
> "I'm dicking hiswife......"
> "cabin fever getting to you"
> "suck it"
> and asking me to com and lie on blankets in a classroom
> "( female japanese staff memeber's name)you look good on your knees"
> "(fmjs name again whilst in the kitchen/toilet area - beckoning to her  "do
> you wanna come"
> "red pussy, yellow pussy, blackpussy........."
> "so i had a date last night, she was saying no so i picked her up and threw
> her on the bed no no yes yes yes...."
> "what are you doing tonight"  - "getting fucked"
> "........ he just wasnt right for you baby, now suck it"
> "(j) had sex with two women this weekend" - "yp, thoroughly enjoyed every
> minute of it". - "what do you think of this  ...... ?" - I ignore and reply
> angrily "what?" and continue reading thenewspaper.
> "woops there are women present" (t) looks at me and i nod telling him to
> shut up.
> These are just some examples of the office talk.
>
> During my first week, the owner of the company cmoes down to visit and we
> hav dinner at an izakaia. I have heard that (j) is interested in  (Y) the
> office manager, (J) is being quite blatant at the dinner pointing at his
> crutch and saying he has red pubic hair. He says to (Y)  "its going to
> happen". She lughs this off - she is married but i did not know this at the
> time. At this tage i didnt think much of it because (j) had not really been
> saying anythin like this directly to me, he had been perfectly pleasant and
> I had not yet seen him drunk. We are in the park later that night and (Y)
> myself and (j) are the last ones there. I tell (Y) she is sweet and (J) goes
> "yeah isn't she". I just look at him almost laughing. At the time i think
> its just a bit of fun, because he was making it quite obvious.
>
> I happen to run into (k) and (j) driningin the park one night on my way
> home from dinner. (J) asks me "so did ou get laid last time you were here"
> - "was it any good?". I am a litte shocked but answer the questions with
> monosyllables. The conversation changes again and they tell me about a night
> the boys (t and j) were arrested for trashing an izakaia.

> I go out with (t) (k) and (d - the other female teacher at the time).
> Dring the night (t) is mucking around with (d) and groping her, but she
> isnt complaining, so i leave them to it. (k) gets upset because he is
> interested in(d). Soon (d) and I go to another bar and (t) meets us and
> starts hitting on another japanese woman. I leave.
> > The company boss (s) comes down and all the teachers have a meeting. Se
> gives the boys a lecture about not sleeping around because it causes
> problems if students parents complain etc etc.
> (J) has just had a company clss complain about him because the students
> thought he was coming onto them She also tells them not to start brawls
> with each other - they had done this a few nights before ad start grinning
> - she doesnt know this. I grin as well, because at the time i think its
> funny, they havent actually started anything with me directly
>
> I go out to a company lunch function and the four of us are playing a bord
> game.  one of the boys (J) has a girl coming to see him and they are taling
> about what music to play to get her in the sack.
> i win the game and as we are leaving they start asking me to grab there
> crutch  "coe on, you've got four cocks here what are you gunna do?"
> One of them (t) rus at me and grabs me by the arse at which point i jump
> and tell him to f*****off. then one of the other boys (j) starts "am i
> going to get to kiss you?" "no" "ever?" "no"
> I start walking ahead of them and tell them they are intimidating and scary
> which they laug and say "we got pussy.........and start calling me dingo".
> We sit down in a park/ square area and this stops for a second.
> then (j) starts again  - he moves towards me - basically gives me the option
> of either having my crutch grabbed or punching him "punch me"  "why" he
> looks at me and grins, both hands are moving towards me so i punch him. At
> which point he announces  to the other two boys "she just punched me" and
> they all exchanged little looks. articularly (t) and (j). Then all of a
> sudden the conversation changes to politics ad they start asking (k) the
> other boy at the table to start punching them.(t) then starts telling (k)
> to go and finger (d...the only other female techer in the town at the
> time).  The boys (t and j exchange looks)
> we allhead off soon afterwards after a debate about politics.
>
> I go home feeling  little angry, but pass it off as drunken idiots because
> nothing (no touchin i mean) had happened and i figured they were mucking
> around as we had cnsumed a lot of alcohol.
>
> The next day at work the boys seem fine and cheer but the sex talk
> continues and they are talking about a new woman who is arriving the next
> week
> "the new chick doesnt drink - out ofluck there"
> at which point (j) says to me
> ".....i'm gunna have to keep askig, because you're next"
> I ignore this and get on with  planning my lesson.
> I confide in one of the female teachers about what happened and she say
> yeah "they try it with everyone" so i pass it off for the time being.  She
also tells me that she had recently hooked up with (t) that weekend, which i
>had gathered from the boys conversation already.
>
> About two weeks pass and things seemed to have settled down. The new femal
> teacher had arrived and the sex talk was out there but they werent realy
> talking to me much and things seemed calmer with another woman in the office (who (t) had started to pursue)
> for a month before she moved to her company classes. Then  (j) ask me "do
> you wanna go get drunk".  We decide to go play pool. (t) comes as well.
> During the night they are obviouly perving, but i ignore it. I had been in
> the city 6 weeks and at the time i was sick and had been to the doctors and
> had just come off a course of antibiotics after being sick for three weeks,
> but had take something for my cough earlier - i had forgotten this and the
> combination ith alcohol was not good.
> I remeber having a go at them for the way they ha treated (d) and what they
> said to (k) the last  time we were out drinking ad also for what they did
> to me. I tell them i am happy to be friends but thats it.
> My phone ended up being passed around and (j) left a message on my dads
> answer machine about no taking me to the airport.
> We move to another bar they go to the toilet in the street around the
> corner.
> I sit down and what i remember at this stage is punching (j) twice) and
> sending a drink flying. (J) leaves and (t) goes after him. Then (t) comes
> back at which point
> (t) and I move to another seat as we see some japanese people we know. I ask
> him why (j) is angry at e. he says "i dunno". I look in my bag because i
> want to call him and askhim why he is angry. I have left it at the bar we
> were at previously, so i hae (t) call my phone and it gets brought to me. I
> ask for (j's) number and try calling a few times but it is switched off.
> (J) had borrowed money from me that night and as we were leaving i asked (t)
> to remind me because i knew i would forget. (its your problem with j, not
> mine, he neer pays people back). I say "but he's payed me back before and
> it's never bee a problem"
> (t) grins - that means he respects you as a person.  i laugh "yea right".
> we both leave.
>
> The next day i had a doctors appointment at which point i had been given
> more medication becuase the first lot hadn't worked, i still had a cough and
> they thought it was pneumonia, so i had a blood test as well.
> I get to work after going home and having a sleep, the money is on my desk
> and (j) walks over exitedly (did you get the money i left you on your desk?
> The new female arrival(a) sees this as well. I have been updating her and i
> tell her about having ago at them the other night and the night we were
> playing risk - the boardgame after the company lunch.
> I am also pullled aside that day by my boss in the office and told there
> have been some complaints in the classroom - he asks if everything is ok and
> i say yes, but i have been sick, which everyone knows about, including him.
>
> Shortly after the incident playing pool occured I had dinner with my boss
> (ma) and another friend, an older lady, from outside the compny (e) and
> told them what had happened - sending drinks flying etc. Not muh was said
> at the time. We had just gotten back from orientation in (city name) and i was in
> some trouble in the classroom. Apparently some of the other teachers and
> foreigners had been called while my phone was being pased around as well.
> Which i did not remember either. We passed it off as drunken stupid
> behaviour. I also told (a) the new arrival over a couple of lunches.
>
> I am observed that week out at a company class. I ell him that day about
> what had been happening with (t and j) and sai "I am starting to feel like
> the office joke". he says nothing, just that the lesson was basically fine.
>
> (a, k, d, and myself) have orientation (this s before i was observed by my
> branch boss) I had been in the office two moths. I have a meeting with the
> company head boss after she observes a lesson at orientation. he says" it
> was awesome and you are sick". I had since gotten an ear infecion whilst
> getting over my bronchitis, as the sinus infection was quite bad.I had
> basically been sickly since i got off the plane. I go to the doctors three
> times about my ear. The last time is to have a hearing test because the
>drops left too much fluid in the ear.
>
> We are back from orientation and i have finished dinner with my boss and
> friend (e) at a local izakaia.
> I am on the last night of my ear infection medication - this is not
> antibiotics and (k) rings me to go drinking. We had just gotten back from
> orientation. I meet him at the bar and (j) is there.I sit down have a rum
> and coke, which (j) orders for me as i am allergic to ber. I pay for the
> drinks because the boys have not got enough money. We o back up to the
> school office with some more alcohol from a convenience stoe. We sit down
> (j) gets on the computer and brings up a porn sight.  The convrsation turns
> to sex and (j) starts asking me if i have herpes or any std's nd if i am a
> virgin. (k) leaves the room to buy more alcohol and (j) says to me "so
> .....I'm having a little trouble figuring you out. Are you a good girl or a
> bad girl. Do you want to go home and fuck?" I reply - "I've punched you
> three times now, what the hell do you think?" and (j) says "thats why we're having
> this conversation...pauses, so you're a good girl, that's cool". At this point (k) walks back into the room and asks what
> we are talking about (j) says "we're talking about fucking actually".
> I say to k"yeah, i've punched him three times. They both exchange ooks.
> (j) goes "come on...I've offered you drunken sex"
> " I am not one nigh standing someone i work with", i reply. and (j) says
> "why not, you'd have a great time".> I laugh this one off....glare...and soon after
we all go home.
>
> The next day i ask j) for the money he borrowed pretty much straight away.
> I look at him angrily. He and (t) exchange looks.
>
> At this point i am not talking to (t) and (j) very much and i a enjoying
> having (a) in the office because they seem a lot calmer. I say to(a) I am
> not going out with them again. I have told her about risk and the pool night
> and some of the sex talk.
> (t) rings me one night and i ignore the phone. The next morning he says (oh
> yeah k (stress on K's name) and i were out drinking,, where were you?  "oh"
> I replied,  i was too tired to come ut. I also tell him i wont again if they keep asking me.
>
> The next night is a bowling party that all the teachers go to as a group. I sit next to t and a)
> later that night (j) arrives.  He asks me if i am ready for a good night and
> i glare at him and nod sarcastically, at which point he and (t) exchange
> looks again almost laughing. ( j) says "then the correct anser is no". I say
> fine "no". (a) and I go home when the studets leave. They have started
> picking on (k)..... (t) notices - and says "(J) the women are leaving" I
> say to her "we are leaving at just the right time".
>
> For the next two weeks i basically ignore them and (a) who is still in the
> office picks up on this. So do the boys themselves. (J) knows i am angry at
> him. That weekend we are all at toeic training - (J) is there at the bosses house
> while we have toeic training - i was having trouble in some toeic classes-
> he is with (one of his new women in the bosses house.
> The boys know i am upset since the silence has prsisted and (J) notices me
> having a cigarette. He talks to me, asks if i am k or just stressed. I say
> I'm fine. he says, so what do you think of the boss (Ss son) . I say "he's
> cute" and get embarrassed.
> He then says ...so risk (the boardgame) was fun yeah. I say "yeah it was
> fun for me, maybe not so much for you guys". To which he says "....that' s because you won. you need
> to stop choosing sides". We walk up together to the office. The conversation
> was a half assed apology but things are on speaking terms again.


>A  few weeks pass and it gets to christmas time.
>
> Meanwhile in the office...
> (J) says to me - no younger men, no anal sex, no co workers...who have you
> got left? All these stipulations.
> (t) says "you don't like sex"
> and i sy "maybe it just hasnt been that good yet"
> to which he says "would youlike to try the other side"
> I reply and what "become a nun?"
> (a) is still i the office for her first month at this stage.
> The next time things happenis the christmas party. (j) asks me to kiss a
> female student. I glare at him and move away. The boys had asked me if i'd
> kissed girls just a few days bfore this and said they'd pay money to see
> it.  It was a joke at the time but......
> Then during a photo (t) tries grabbing my breast. I try pushing his hand
> away three times.
> I tell (a and dat the party what has happened) I even speak to (k) and tell
> him - they know  am shitty at them and they are still doing it. I avoid
> both (t and J) the rest of the night and leave early.
>
> Another friend (jc) rings me as i get home and i tell him what has just
> happened and some of the other evens - he says "they're telling you you're
> alright, but they're messing with you and enjoying it".  Both (t) and (j)
> hd women they were seeing. (j) was sleeping with three of his students.
> We fin (d) in the office as she was asleep on (j's) desk. We try getting
> her home and find (ma) the boss downstars. We try and get (d) home and
> afterwards i walk back home with (ma) he tels me (t) kissed two students
> and (Y) the office manager is furious at him. He also tells me (j) was
> groping (y) but she seemed to like the attention. I tell him i am getting
> annoyed at (j) asking me for sex and tell him some of te comments "are you
> a good girl or a bad girl...etc" and I also point out that it is usually
> before he sees his married woman who happened to be a teachr for the
> company in another city. (j) was actually in trouble for this affair as
> well.
>
> I tell (t and j) after hearing another one of their discussios about (j)
> and his three women and tell them not to try that shit with me. The nod in agreeance. This is just after the christmas party. I have lost a lot of weight because i am still quite sick at this stage.
>
> It is nearing christmas time(the company party was a week earlier) and the
> conversation has turned to christmas presents -(j) is boasting about
> unwrappng all of his and teasing (k) for saving his until christmas day.
> (J) gos -"i dont suppose i should be asking you" and grins. I say nothing.
>
> (k) aso managed to get herpes from a one night stand he had on a trip to
> korea during the christmas break which the boys were teasing him about (a)
> and I were both in the office. This is after the christmas break, and in the
> office.
>
> The week before christmas we had decided to go to the movies to see alien vs
> predator. I get a phone cal telling me to meet them at the school and (t)
> basically tells me (j) said h's gunna fuck your cookie, how do you feel
> about that?" I hang up on them. (j) rings me back and is careful with his words, he tellls me to meet them
> at the school, there was no sexal comment fom him here but he was persistent,
> lets go lets go.
>
> I am in a taxi and (t) asks me if i was crying about him grabbing my boob at
> the christas party because (k) had told them i was upset - basically the whole town knew i had left upset. I say  "i was mad at you, there's a difference". then
> (j) goes and uts his arm around me, which i am trying to remove and starts
> asking me (cani touch your tits....) I say no a few times he changes his
> language to boob.  I tell (t) again i was mad at him we go inside for the
> movie and i talk to (k) about who is going to winthe fight. (J) starts
> asking me to grab his nuts for most of the movie. O the way to the movie he
> ran at me and grabbed me around the hips as well whih at the time seemed to
> surprise (t and k). It was winter so we were alsohaving snowball fights.
>
> After the movie we walk back towards town and j) goes home. (t) and i have
> a conversation about things and i say it's not really evergoing to stop is
> it? not completely? and he says nup. I tell him i have a riend i am going
> to see over new years who stayed at my house a few wees ago and nothing
> happened. he says why not and i say because i didnt want it to. The
> boyfriend was a lie, but i thought it mightcalm things a little. true or
> not seems irrelevant to me.
> (t) also asks e how much i remember about the time i played pool with them
> and i said not much. I remember punching joel, so i know he asked me for
> sex, nd i remeber losing my phone and having a go at you both but apart
> from that..." at which point (t) said yah "you were pretty drunk that
> night.....(j) was asking you -'do you wanna gohome and fuck...(the amount
> of times he did this i am not sure and t wouldnt tell me) .  I said that is
> awful, i dont remeber that, i justremeber punching him, that's the only
> reason i do know he asked me. (t) says"sweet". I did not remember being
> asked  quite so repeatedly and this upset me. But i had woken up the morning
> after and knew i had punched him, that was the only way i knew he had asked
> me.
>
>  have dinner with (ja) who i had been up at the school with after the
> chrismas party and give him another update. He seems annoyed and says "do
> they enoy messing with you or what?"
>
> a few days later the boys are talking aout women being a matter of geology
> and time and pressure.
> (name of japanese staff) is again in the toilet/ kitchen area and (j) is
> asking her whathe has to do to prove he is a gentleman. The boss and I and
> the staff are decding who is going to share hotel rooms for an upcoming
> business training. I have to go because i have had problems in my cmpany
> classes.
> They then start mouthing off about picking up women who don want you being
> even more exciting and time and pressure. (my boss, a and I all hear this
> conversation and it is not the first of a simiar type). I walk around the
> corner and trhey go quiet and take off for a cigarette downstairs.
>
> I go to (d's) house o do an interview i was planning to prepare on japanese
> martial arts and tel her some of whats been going on.  "anytime you wanna
> grab my nuts, thats ok by me. She doesnt say much, but says " i will watch
> you both together next time and tell ou if he's being serious, but it
> sounds like he is, thats how he talks"
>
Around this time we had also gone out for our bosses birthday - we meet up
> ith an ex co worker of there's who knows them pretty well (m) and they
> stll keep in touch with. I ask him for advice and it is at this point my
> boss ma) offers to go over my head about things. I say id prefer not to. it
> should be alright. I also tell (m) not to sa anything.
> During the conversation (k) tells me there is a 10,000 yen bet going and
> basically admits my suspicions. I ask (m) if it is likely to stp and he
> says, knowing (t) it's not going to. (d) even admits that (j) is on my case
> hard core. (mr) at the time tells me to"give em a taste, its going to beone
> of them before the years out" and (d) adds "yeah, i made out with (t) and
> it's ine".
> I had at this stage also told (k) i had a boyfriend who was then runing
> around asking everybody about it.
> Earlier during the day before we mt up with (mr) i had said to (k) -
> referring to the movie night, at which he was present "they're not topping,
> they're just getting sneakier". He nodded and shrugged "boys will beboys".
> My boss (Ma) and (d) hear this conversation. It is at this point i tell them
> I hve a boyfriend (I am referring to a friend i caught up with in Kanazawa
> but lie and say we meet up in a near by city). I had told (d) i was going to do
> this, so she knew i was making it up. I tell (k) knowing that it will ge
> back to the boys.
>
> Shortly after the birthday things got out of hand.
> (t) asked me again in the ofice how much of the night i remembered. And i
> told him again "not as much as what you told me. Anything after (j) rang my
> dad is a blank". He again says "sweet" I say no, its embarrassing.
> (k) hears this conversation.
>
> The boys asked me out aain I said no and went out with the girls instead.
> They both asked me twice during the day and then i called them to join us as
> a group when i was at dinner with the girls. They didn't come i got a phoe
> call from (t) which i ignored initially and then (J) calls me. I answerthe
> phone, they ask me up to the school. I say no i have no money or alcohol
> three times, but he says come on come on.
>
> (t) was in trouble for kissing two students at the christmas party and he
> showed me a letter he had received fom the boss about it basically telling
> him he wasnt getting renewed.
> He lt me read it. Then the conversation turns to sex again. I am eventually
> askedby (t) if i want to fuck (j) i say no. (t) then says "do you want to
> fuck me?I say yes sarcastically, and (t then asks again (do you want to
> fuck (j)". I say "no".
> Then (j) asks "are you sure? " I say "yes "are you sure?" yes? "are you
> sure? at which point i just nod and he gets an excited grin and  look
> confused and say "how many more times do i have to say no?". The boss did not answer me.
>
> Soon  after (j) gets a call from a girl he is sleping with and basically
> offers me the choice - her or me. "a guy who's seeng three women doesn't
> care about you right, but you'd have a choice" i tell him "no, exactly, go
> fuckyou're booty call".
>
> This starts to ring alarm bells as it is what i said to (t) after the movie.
> "it's a no win situation, say yes ad I'm, the town bike if i say no, then i
> don't like sex" he nods.
> and he sas (j) doesn't actually like (y) that much anymore (meaning the
> office managr) I don't believe him and tell him so.
> the next thing i said was in SARCASM yeah if you know they're fucking four
> women at the same time and you still ant to go there, then at least you'd
> have the choice right". He said nothing.
> (t) had also tried to bait (j) into bitching about (y) in front of me as well.
> We all get up to leave the boys have pissed on the bosses jacket at some
> stage which i didnt actually realise at th time because it was taken behind
> a screen. They are also talking about punchng the boss (ma) before (t)
> leaves and raping (y) and wanting to fuck (a) one of the other female
> teachers in the city - there were three of us, but i was the only one in the
> office apart form (a) from time to time. As we are walking out the door (t) asks me again if i was upset at the christmas party - this is the second time that night that they do. I tell them i was pissed off and leave the school.
>
> The next dy at work (j) gets into work and (j) can tell i am angry. He says
> "you know we were both hitting on you last night right". I nod uh huh. He
> goes -can i get some eye contact darling, so I look at him and he points at
> himselfand goes "suck it". I look away embarrassed and a little disgusted
> and almos in tears which he notices and asks if i am ok. I say no not
> really. (t nd k) were in the room when he said this. I look around for my
> boss (ma) but he is not there at the time.
>
> The next day I am out for dinner with (k) and my boss (ma) and out friend
> (e) and tell them what hapened
> "(J) got a booty call" i say " and he offered me the choice - him or the
I> nurse. nice huh". (ma and k look at each other but say nothing about it).> I also ask (k) if the boys (t and j) think i am deaf dumb blind or stupid or all of them, because they know i don't like it. He shrugs "I dunno".

Later that night i am back at (e's ) house and tell her i have made up a
boyfriend, because i had just gotten back from a weekend alone in (city name).
>That day (j) had also asked me to come and lie on a blanket with him in the>
classroom, so I am getting pretty annoyed and frustrated and am asking (e)
> hat to do. She says "have you experienced harrassment before?" and I say
> "nothing like this" and she replies "you do hve an innocent look about
> you".
>
> During these months I have been to senai twice to observe other teachers -
> once at orientation and another at y own volition. Also a few times by
> myself to do some sight seeing.
> > About a week later  - this is after my bosses birthday in (city name).

(j)> invites me out to play pool. The boss hears this and says nothing.
>
> We alsohave training in (city name) the coming weekend. I say yes because i
> just dont think he is going to let up.
> (j) had had a phone call from one of his girlfiends a couple of days before
> and I remember (t) watching me for my reaction.
>
> We go out and end up hooking up. He was sitting there watching his drink and
> i could almost see him thinking 'tis is gunna work'. I vomited at which
> point he asked me home to fuck in notso crude a terms. I told him he was
> manipulative and he agreed. We end up a his place he give me some clean pj
> bottoms and i had a singlet top on. We ae making out and i can see him
> grinning. I had left my keys in the office and dropped my wallet at some
> stage. He kissed me and motioned me over to the bed at which point i lay
> down and basically started going to sleep,  but he kissed me again. I told
> him he was an arsehole because i could see him grinning when i looked at
> him. I turned away again and he moved and started kissing me again and
> feeling me up at which point i said "i'm not going to fuck you" and then he
> tries again and i tell him "do you think i don't know i'm a bet. STOP". At
> which point he did.
>
> I stayed the night and left to get my keys etc in the morning. We both woke
> up and he said "see, we didn't do anything stupid, you didn't wake up with
> your clothes ripped off or anything"
> I say nothing to this.
>
> I got to work and both (t) and (j) were already there. My boss said to me.
> Did you lose something?  - he was referring to my wallet which the police
> had called about. I looked at the boys they were both laughing and gave me
> knowing looks. (j) goes "....had too much to drink last night" and they both
> laugh. I walked over to (j) looked at the pair of them and said "yeah, you
> may as well collect your money", and then said to (t) "go on, pay him". They
> sat there stunned. I am asking (ma) where the police station is (t) calls
> out (j) will take you" and they both laugh. I ask (y) to take me as i have a
> company class to go to and need my wallet. I have no other time to go. She
> is busy but (k) draws me a map and i start walking. I get lost and have to
> call a couple of times. I arrive and (y) eventually meets me at the police
> station, she is angry at me.
>
> (t) saw me in the car park the next day and walked up to me and put his arms
> around my shoulders "glad that's over?" he asked to which i said "yes". He
> didn't say much but i got a feeling it was 'over'.
>
> That weekend while up at the fukushima training i had a conversation with
> the bosses daughter and a friend of hers about things, because i was quite
> exhausted by things. I was still having trouble in the classroom and it
> didnt seem to be getting any better.
> They encouraged me to speak to the boss (S). Which i did.
> After the training she had a meeting with me and my branch boss, she
> announced this in front of everyone at the training "....,(ma) meeting now".
> I sit down and the first thing i was told was i am not getting renewed. I
> hit the roof started crying and reminded her how sick i had been -
> bronchitis, pneumonia, and the ear infection and told her what had been
> happening with the boys and some examples of things that came out of there
> mouths,
> I told her i did not come here to be harrassed and put up with this, i came
> here to do a job. She said "you're too sensitive, you need to role with it a
> little. It's japan, get used to it". But I was nevertheless given two more
> months to fix things.
> I was then taken into another room with management after a while and they
> showed me just how bad things were in the classroom. I asked for a transfer
> which at this point i was refused because of the poor teaching. My boss
> wanted some time to think about how to handle matters because i told her i
> was concerned about their reaction if she did. They have a reputation for
> violence and do tend to lash out a little which i found a little
> intimidating. But she basically told me "you're too sensitive".
> She wasn't going to speak to (t) because he had resigned just that week
> after getting the letter about the christmas party. She was considering
> speaking to (j) and had asked (ma) not to say anything at this stage.
>
> I hadn't told her very much at this stage just the main events - pool,
> christmas, the movies and some of the sex talk and about hooking up with
> (j). but when we got back to work after the training the boys were unusually
> quiet towards me (t) in particular.
>
> The following tuesday after the meeting in (city name) i arrive at work and
> find the japanese manager has left an email from the boss on the desk saying
>
> "
> The training in (city name) was an overall success. the meeting with ......was
> tough. however it is my feeling that we should give her this one (last)
> chance to turn things around in the class room. But it looks like .....is
> "the strange one". I spoke to j,d,a,m,n,ma and they all said the same thing
> "she's weird" so unfortuantely i don't hold much hope. I was pleased with ma
> he dealt with her openly and honestly. I think being AMC has done amazing
> things for improving his self confidence.
>
> "
> note that peoples names and the words strange and weird were underlined on
> this, which only upset me more..
>
> I was pretty angry that this was left on the table for all the teachers to
> be able to read and told my branch boss this. The japanese manager got into
> a lot of trouble for it. I had kids training that weekend as i was in
> trouble with a couple of kids classes and (M) the boss (S's) daughter had
> called me to come for the training.
> She walks in a little nervous and i bring up the email to which she says
> "what email?" at which point i tell her - "the one saying I'm weird" and she
> says "oh, THAT one".
>
> I spoke to (S) the head boss again about things told her some more of what
> (t and j had done) and that the email didn't help, which she acknowledged,
> but didn't aplogise for. She said, look "there are three issues here. the
> teaching, the harrassment and the email".
> I was pretty upset. She could see this and told me she had called around and
> i had the support of the other women in the office to back me up. She said
> that the email had been in reference to the eye contact problems i was
> having in the classroom. The earliest she said she could transfer me was
> April, but she gave me a choice and said "as a friend i would leave - you
> don't need this, but its your choice". We went through my options and she
> encouraged me to hang in there and said she had spoken to the girls and
> other teachers. At this stage i did not know she was going to ring (j) that
> night.
>
> That Tuesday he was furious at me and neither he or (t) were talking to me.
> (t) had already been unusually quiet towards me since fukushima so they must
> have known something was up.
>
> My boss (ma) had responded when i read the email on the monday "it was
> pretty harsh" and apologised- i told him straight away because i was very
> angry- he claimed that words were underlined for staff to use a dictionary -
> this was a ridiculous comment because it was peoples names and the words
> weird and strange that were underlined. The staff did not need a dictionary
> for these things.
>
> I was upset and had been talking to my mother who had also ended up ringing
> the head  boss (S) about matters, they had a discussion about things - the
> email, the boys and the problems in the classroom. Mum was worried  because
> i was quite distraught about the email. But (S) explained she had spoken to
> me about it and apologised for it over the phone.
> By this stage (j) had been spoken to and the boss had rung around to check
> with the other teachers what was happening. (ma) had also done some
> investigating with the other teachers and locals. I had a word to the boss
> (S) after she had spoken to my mother and she said that (j) had been
> "genuinely surprised that you were upset, because you were up at the school
> with them",
> to which i replied "they knew -"(k) has spoken to them on my behalf as
> well". She was pinning (t) as the ringleader and saying (j) is ok, he just
> follows (t) too much. Part of this was true as the lines (j) used were from
> the conversation i had with (t) after the movies. She wanted me to try and
> tough things out, but said it wasnt a gaol, if i wanted to leave i could do
> so. She told me i was being too sensitive and imagining things. But she also
> said we could work something out "i don't want a law suit any more that you
> do". I had mentioned i had contacted the labour office to her.
>
> The atmosphere in the office was pretty bad after this. there was silence
> for a while and then i had a word to (k) because i wanted things back to
> normal and said i didn't like the silent treatment. One of the office staff
> actually thanked me as she walked past me.
> They (t and j) were both furious at me, but the sex talk still continued -
> however not towards me and i was avoiding the office. I had to give a class
> i had lost to (t) and as i was giving him the files i said - i "i have tried
> ...........and they wanted a male teacher" to which he replies "yeah, I'll
> stick my dick in them". I said nothing.
>
> Things got worse because i actually tried talking to (t) about what had
> happened and said some very harsh things. I was observed at a company class
> which was the night i tried talking to (t). I was upset and probably would
> have spoken to anybody who was there. The management had no confidence in my
> teaching and things just werent going well. I was a mess.
> This only exacerbated their anger towards me. Because they wouldnt listen
> properly or even prepared to hear me out. I was not only upset about them,
> but being sick and all the other factors involved as well. I dont know if
> they interpeted this properly.
>
> The morning after I walked in and the boys started singing  "i hate you, you
> hate me......" theme song for  (school name). I walked away to get a coffee
> overhearing
> "so is dingo sex one word or two words?" - "no, it's one word".
>
> I had been talking to my boss (ma) about things and he was saying - its hard
> to come down heavy on them because you've been going  out with them. I had
> been out with them twice on my own the other times were as a group or (k)
> had been there.
> Don't forget (k) has been threatened with violence and put up with a lot
> from them as well. "You need to be able to separate your personal life from
> work".
>
> I had called the (city name) labour office twice around this time and posted on
> the "teacing in japan discussion forum" around this time - january -as well.
>
> I had been visiting (e) a lot and talking things over as i was finding it
> difficult to make a decision - quit or not etc and was still raw from what
> had happened. I had physical reactions - not wanting to drink and basically
> feeling like something had been forced down my throat and wanting to be
> sick.
>
> At the same time i am ringing (S) about the problems in the classroom - and
> this is making the situation worse because (t) and (j) think it is about
> them. I am also having trouble feeling like i can't approach the office
> manager her response is always "I'm busy".  I know she is angry about the
> classroom problems, but i didnt know the full extent and didnt realise why
> she was angry with me half the time.
>
> They seem to be enjoying making fun of me
> " i kissed a boy but i'm, a defenseless woman and didnt want to". looking at
> me and then smirking and laughing at each other. Mainly silent treatment
> though.  However i still had to catch a taxi with (j) to the trains station
> on Tuesdays for a class and part of them was trying to find out what was
> going on and I am not good at keeping my mouth shut, which made things
> worse.
>
> After reading the email I was quite distraught and had been out with a
> student who (t) and (j) both happened to teach. Earlier that month she had
> asked me for their numbers, which i didn't give out. I told her how upset i
> was at work and started crying. She ended up panicking and ringing the
> office manager after I had gone home. Her and my boss had everyone looking
> for me. This was a genuine over reaction. I was simply very upset, but the
> student was concerned.  Two weeks later she complains about (t) harrassing
> her as well. She was the same student (j) had asked me to kiss at the
> christmas party. I don't know the full details of her complaints but (t) was
> no longer her teacher after it.
>
> I decided to resign because i couldnt handle staying and the anger and
> tension in the office was quite hostile. I rang my boss (S) to resign and
> said look I am digging myself into a bigger hole staying here. I can't get
> on top of things because i am getting to upset.
> I resigned and a few days later she rang me back offering me a transfer
> beginning in March instead. She told me not to tell (y - the office manager or my boss, things were to be hush hush)
> I accepted and was transferred. I am upset to be leaving the city but know i have to.
> I have dinner with the other teachers and some of (e's) friends.
> The boys are loving every minute of me leaving. I am hearing them talking
> about screwing one of the female replacements - (t and k are also leaving in
> a few months and my replacement is another woman). "one of them's going to
> have to be dumb enough to" and (j) replies "well its happened before". I am
> upset by this but only have a day or so left so forget about it.
>
> A teacher from Shirakawa is supposed to meet me, but the boss (S) meets me
> instead and is still convinced i was imagining things. This is because i
> tell her about a conversation i had with (j) about high school girls and
> kids games and sharing - it's how they think......if you heard the talk you
> would know what i mean. People in the office understand what i mean about
> this. She just thinks i am being silly.
>
> She takes me shopping to buy some things for the new apartment. I am
> introduced to one of the other teachers (N) and (S's) daughter (M) is also
> down for the weekend. They have helped set up my apartment. During the day
> (S) has a meeting with (I) my boss to be at the new office. I am also left
> in my apartment to set up a little while (S, Na and M) have a discussion
> about things.
> I am taken shopping by (N) to get some tables and chairs for the apartment.
> I have bought some things off (Je) one of the other teachers.
> Things seem fine for the first month i am in the new office. I gather that
> the staff and teachers know the full story. (By) one of the teachers is
> friends with (m) who i spoke to about the situation  at my old boss (ma's)
> birthday party. I also had to ring him about my apartment package as it was
> his apartment i had moved into in the first office. He says to  me that
> "(By) told me you were moving..." I say yes, ask him about the package. (Y)
> my office manager was angry at me because i want everything now now now.
> Again i couldnt help it. I was moving the next morning. I needed to be paid.
> Anyway. Basically the gossip chain made things difficult for me and while
> none of the other teachers have actually admitted it to me. I know they have
> been told the full story and so have the staff.
> I needed a map to get to the train station on my second day and (I) had a
> word to me and said don't worry, people were concerned because you were
> concerned - they were worried "is she flipping out again, is she quitting".
> So I know he was told by (S) when i was moved and they had a meeting.
>
> I think i should write some of the complaints in the classroom and also what
> the teachers were saying about me at the fukushima meeting when (S) was
> trying to get to the bottom of the teaching problem.
> (j) told her i was a little odd and that (t) had been quite beligerant and
> rude towards me.
> (d) said weird
> (ma) said weird
> "she looks down", "she always eats salad". "she laughs and smiles to
> herself"
> I was also blanking out in the classroom - not noticing when students had
> finished an activity and drifting off. Forgetting names also.
>
> What i am going to write next is difficult to put across, but to me it feels
> like they planned to recreate the first office to get rid of me simply
> because of the email. Something odd defintley happened.It"s like they didn"t want to acknowledge there was an improvement or that the first office had been a problem.

I felt isolated simply because i was not getting renewed and feel i at least deserved the chance to get away from the harrassment gossip, but the boss and her daughter went and told the whole new office. The staff had even been told by my old city just before i was transferred.
> my old boss and the bosses daughter to go on plus there was also some very shady
> covering up was going on when i did resign.

I started to feel like a
> scapegoat. But at the very least there was some nastiness going on which i
> didnt understand - getting sent on wild goose chases for cars, being accused
> of throwing out gas bills for example.
>

Some other points i am suspicious
> 1. Health Insurance - i paid for one year in  my old city and again paid for one
> year when i moved. The receipt for the new city/ the date of payment is
> 17.4.19.  I received a letter from my old city hall in the last week of
> april basically refunding me 2,400 yen. This is dated 17.4.15. I hadn't
> opened
> this letter until after i resigned in wiriting on the 16 May. I get a note
> from one of the staff about my health insurance sayng it will take two weeks
> and they will give me cash because the post office can't accept the payment.
> I did not ask city hall to do this in either city and i did not verbally ask
> them to stop my health insurance and neither had i verbally expressed that i
> was quitting at any time until i gave the resignation in writing on may 16.
> After i resigned i had the last week of may off work for being emotionally
> overwraught. I was called to come in and bring the health insurance book. I
> thought nothing of it at the time. They kept the book. I got home saw the
> letter and looked at the date and thought something seemed odd - i went back
> to the office - this is about 10 minutes later and the staff are busy
> photcopying all the pages. I ask for the health insurance booklet back and
> they seem a little hesitant, but i get it back.
>
> 2. Water bill. We have a family who own the apartment building (the Nd's). I
> was never introduced to these people and usually you need to meet them to at
> least have your water bill put in your name. I was not given a receipt for
> this.
> I did not meet the landlord until she came to collect my last bill et the
> end of May. No one introduced me to them at any stage either despite me
> asking. The new girl that arrived at the beginning of the month and met
> them, she was waiting for them to bring forms to sign for the water service.
> I never did anything of the sort. Electricity and Gas were in my name but i
> have no idea about the water.
> When i move she brings a new tenant to th apartment - i have just spoken to
> the boss (s) who knows i havent met her at this stage. The lanlord comes in
> speaking nothing but japanese. I say nice to meet you in japanese which she
> simply nods at and smiles.
> The day she comes for my water she speaks perfect english enough to wish me
> a nice flight and collect the money for the bill. I say again, "nice to meet
> you finally", to which she says nothing.
>
> 3. I come into work after seeing a counsellor in tokyo this is the day after
> i have given them a medical certificate for being emotionally overwraught. 
> (m) and the staff see me at the photocopier and have nervous looks as i
> photocopy the apartment package list. Again (m) is a little jumpy when i
> hand her thelist and she sees i have a copy for myself.
>
> I will explain why these three points concern me in more detail
> later...first........
>
> During march we had to go to the boss (S's) daughter (M's) birthday party. I
> arrived and was met by her son during the party i was being watched like a
> hawk for my social skills - putting a drink down etc, and to see if i was
> paying attention to the conversation. (J) and (D) from my old city were also
> at the party. The last seat available was right in front of (J) and he
> laughed at me as i sat down. We didn't really talk except to pass food
> around. The night ended around 11 and i went back with the boss and (N) to
> her house. (j) had taken off. Neither of us went to the 2nd party.
> I went pretty much straight to bed and (S) and (Na) stayed up talking. I
> came down to get a drink of water and heard (J's) name being mentioned in
> their conversation. I went back to bed.
> The next morning (Na) and i went back to my new city by her car. I didn't say very much.
>
> Somewhere during my arrival - i think my first week. We had a small house
> warming at (By's) place when i arrived. All of the teachers were there. I
> wasnt drinking and was pretty quiet. I met (P) my neighbour this night as
> well. They were planning to go out afterwards, but i didnt want to go. (P)
> came to my apartment to see if i was ok, because i had kind of taken off. I
> told him briefly about things in my old city and he said "people have talked
> about you here". He left not long after to join the others.
>
> That weekend I was down for (a's) birthday party and happened to meet my
> replacement in the office (kr). I still had transfer forms to send her. I
> had been going to my old city on Tuesdays to teach as they had no one to
> cover my classes for the day. I asked for her number in case she needed to
> call me about the classes. I went back to (E's) house to stay.
> It was clear they didn't want me going to my old city because at
> first they had said i could stay over in my apartment while no one was there
> instead of taking the last shinkansen at 9.11pm - i finished teaching at 9pm
> and had to rush out the door. I had been visiting on the Mondays as this was
> my day off to see (k) and (e) who had been very supportive of me through the
> whole mess. I happened to tell the boss (S) when she rang me about (m's)
> birthday, that i would be staying over at (e's) on the monday in my old city to
> be ready to teach on the tuesday. and all of a sudden I am no longer able to
> go to my old city on Tuesdays until 4pm and must catch the last train home.  I
> was not aware of this and arrived one Tuesday as per normal and (y) the
> office manager says what are you doing hear? I said - "it is Tuesdays, I
> teach here". She made me ring my new office to see if this was ok. The staff
> and my new boss (I) had cleared it the friday before and said it was fine.
> I made a compromise and was allowed to catch a 3pm shinkansen to give me
> time to plan my lessons.
> The next weekend it is now april. I have a new boss, which just happens to
> be (M) the daughter of the head boss (S).
> I am down for (e's) birthday party and have a heart to heart with my old
> boss (Ma). I had just also been observed by the (city name) head management (Ne - who's name was also on the email) and told him i was a little concerned. He
> said that (S) had been happy with me and that i had found my niche in my new
> office he said "she is happy with the job you're doing".
>
> I said i was worried because (M - the bosses daughter) seemed panicky.  He
> said to me "(Y) the office manager was scared she'd get the blame if you
> fucked up, because the staff and teachers were told what happened
> here......I'm sorry, they were arseholes I had no idea just how much until
> this happened, i feel like i let you down terribly....They aren't here at
> this birthday party, that says something". I tell him " I still feel like
> somethings up...". He said "No, if you come here no one cares, it's fine. no
> one has a problem with it, we're all happy to see you". I acknowledge this
> but say "yes, but i think they are worried about the kids classes again". If
> they are or were, nothing specific was ever told to me except the parents
> want homework.
>
> I stay at (e's house) and she tells me not to worry so much.
>
> When (M) first arrived I had a welcome drink with (M and Na) on the first
> night that (M) arrived. things seemed ok, but i told her i was having a
> discipline problem with one particular student, she said nothing. We looked
> at her year book and things seemed fine. It is shortly after this that i am
> observed by (Ne).
> That same weekend (S) is down to help her daughter (M) decorate. I pop in to
> say hello, although no one had actually asked me to come. I was simply being
> polite and wanted to say hi to (S).
> I leave shortly after (Na) as i have work the next day. This is the day I am
> to be observed by (Ne). No one can tell me what time he is coming to
> observe. I ask the staff, I ask (Ia) and I ask (M) I even call (Ne) twice. I
> have a bus to catch. (Ia - the previous boss before M arrived) tells me to
> go. I happen to meet (Ne) in the street and we catch the bus together to my
> class.
>
> I am told there is a complaint about the parents wanting homework - this to
> me sounds strange because i have been giving them workbook photocopies and
> if they dont finish them in class, then they have it for homework. (S) gets
> upset i have been photocopying because the students are supposed to buy
> workbooks - they don't.
>
> As mentioned earlier after this observation.
> (S) the boss is down visiting her daughter for the weekend.  i ring on my
> way back from the swimming pool on saturday and they dont answer. I get back
> and they are all sitting there laughing and talking. I text (M) the next morning and
> head off to my old city for (e's) birthday party. I see (Ma) about whats going
> on, tell him things seem tense and that i have been observed by (N). He
> basically tells me  (Y) the office manager was scared she'd get the blame if
> you fucked up", I ask him "why" and he says "because the staff and teachers
> were told". he later adds....."I'm sorry i really let you down.... I in turn
> ask  "why did he (j) get renewed, so many women have complained about them
> its not funny, someone is going to have to listen eventually".
> and he said "S likes J, she wanted to keep him, they (t and j) aren't here
> tonight, that says something....they're not nice people.....you can come
> here and no one would have a problem, you scared us sometimes, but
> anytime...there's no problem". He gives me a hug.
>
> Back in my new office
> No one really talks to me about the observation - Br tells me they were
> going through my files while i was gone though. I try asking (M) again a
> couple of times - once in the office and again when i visit her in her
> apartment.  I know something must be up because i have actually lost a
> wednesday night kids class, but at the same time i have signed up three new
> kids and an adult on saturdays. I seem to be making her angry simply by
> making eye contact and she doesnt want to give me much information. I get
> short answers when i ask her personal questions. and she never asks me any.
> I am not sure why she is distancing herself, but it is clear she doesn't
> want me around.
> She even seems to resent me making the effort to be friends with (Na) and
> perceives it as a political move to get a good word put in for me with (S)
> rather than sincere. They are quite good friends and I am not being accepted
> as a third basically. They take no interest in anything i say.
>
> Towards the end of april one of the teachers (Br) is leaving. He has invited
> all the teachers out to a students restaurant - mainly (Ba, By and Ia) for a
> boys night, but they decline and he asks me. I go.
> After the restaurant - singing karaoke and playing the flute we talk about
> why he is leaving - he had been interested in one of the teachers and told
> her he was attracted to her - she went to (Na) who in turn told (S) as they
> are good friends. Next, he meets a young japanese woman (who he is now going
> to marry). Her mother at the time complained to the school about the
> relationship and they weren't impressed. Her mother wrote a letter saying
> things were ok and the matter was resolved. (Ia - still boss at the time)
> told him to keep it as proof things were ok. (Br) missed a pro development
> day and afterwards (Ia) pulled him aside and told him (S) was pissed he
> didn't go and he was basically not getting renewed. Soon afterwards (S) was
> visiting (Na) for the weekend as she frequently does and (Na) called him to
> come and visit. He didnt go and he overheard (S) say "oh, i don't think Br
> is fitting in here...". After this the other teachers basically isolated him
> and stopped including him in things - this is according to him. I tell him
> about what happened to me and we have a bit of a whinge. Please note at this
> point this is a HIGHLY political company there is a foreign side and a
> japanese side shall we say and the two managers DO NOT get along.
>
> The next day at work i am given a gloating look by (M) as I am sitting at my
> desk, she is smiling or gloating looking down at me and i am not sure what
> is going on.
> I have a cigarette with (Na) on my way to work and offer to help set up for
> the hanami party.
> The next morning  (Na) and (M) hardly look at me and don't even acknowledge
> my help at the end of the day or during. Neither do the other teachers. They
> don't talk to me during the day and all back away when i try talking to
> them.  In fact i go and meet people at the bridge like a bit of a taxi
> service, i dont even get a thankyou for that.  One of the staff (Mk) had
> arrived early and the three of us were talking or at least i was talking to
> (Mk) and the other two weren't even acknowledging i was there, they simply
> talked to (Mk) or each other. I ask (Na) where they had their christmas
> party and she gets an angry look on her face but replies with a restaurants
> name.
>
> During the day i meet one of (Na's) students (Yr) she is a GP and has
> travelled quite a bit so we get talking. Na invites me out with the three of
> them. (M) glares at her.
> I overhear (M) telling the student and (By) that I am leaving. I assumed at
> the time that they meant me moving places to talk to other students.
>
> That night is (Je's) farewell party. (By) and (Ba) are there, but i dont
> talk to them much. My mum calls and i tell her i am feeling a little
> isolated and getting frustrated that (M) wont tell me what the problem is
> and that my efforts don't seem to be being acknowledged. I leave the party
> earlyish.
>
> I am intending to go to an onsen and text (Na) about where to go. I have
> also had a message from (Kr) my replacement asking me to call her to talk. I
> call her and she asks me about the situation with (t and j) I tell her a
> little bit of it hesitantly as she says that she understands where i am
> coming from the dynamic is a mess and she feels stuck in the middle and that
> she had a bad weekend.
> I end up going to visit (k) and (e) that night in my old city instead and see
> (Kr) there. We talk more during a walk to family mart. This seems to get me into to trouble as it obviously gets back.
>
> My new boss (M's) brother is coming to visit, he has been in Canada sorting out visa
> work. I know things arent ok at work because (Na) and (M) have stopped
> asking me to join them for cigarettes.
>
>
> That night i am having a cigarette as (na) and (ba) get out of a taxi and
> they laugh/look at each other knowingly and walk straight past me. Up in the
> office they ignore me and are talking about the dinner with (Na's) student
> and ignore me while i look at them as they are making plans about it.
>
> The tension is getting pretty obvious to co - workers especially (Br) and he
> advises me to try tallking with (M). I take his advice and go. This is a
> tense conversation. I ask her bluntly "I am detecting some tension with you
> me and Na", to which she lies and pretends nothing is wrong, I say - "is
> this about Bradley, because I have heard some gossip about why he is
> leaving". She says nothing. I ask her if people know what happened in
> Yonezawa and she says no, nobody knows, which i know is a lie - I can tell
> Natasha knows from her reaction to me saying the word christmas and dr. I
> say look, I appreciate the transfer i do, you know the history - which she
> did because i told her at fukushima and her mother had also filled her in. "
> she said i know bits and pieces of it. I say "look i want to be able to be
> open with you if there is a problem. I would like to keep my job" . She says
> things are fine i go out and meet her brother who seems angry at me also,
> but this passes.
> (Na) comes to visit as well and we make plans to meet for the student dinner
> that night. I can tell they don't want me to come.
> They also tell me they are planning on heading down to (my old city name) for a festival during golden week, which (D) had invited the whole company - all
> the branches too. The say yeah, we are meeting up in (city name), so lets go
> together. I say ok. They then start talking about (Ne) and say to me "you
> remember Ne right?" .  (his name was on the email) I simply say "yes". They
> then all start mucking around calling each other bitch.
>
> The next day at work  I am supposed to teach a class until 8.30 and we meet
> for the taxi at 8.40.
> I am sitting at the computer next to the staff. The students havent shown up
> and all of a sudden at about 8pm (St) the office manager asks me to stay
> back. I decline, saying i have a student dinner to go to with Na and M. She
> says nothing except that it is fine.
>
> I walk to the taxi with (M) and she asks me if i had a better day today. I
> say yes and again repeat that i appreciate the transfer. She says she is to
> observe me in may sometime. My old boss (Ma) and she says "yes he is a good
> AMC" (boss) and then says something which is verbatim from the email about
> him being open and direct.
> (M) asks me how work was today as we check the mail and I say (good) to
> which she gets annoyed at.
>
> (Na) seems surprised to see me at the dinner but i sit down next to (yr) the
> student. I am feeling alittle uncomfortable becuase i am detecting a lot of
> anger at me from them both, especially since they are ignoring me and only
> to talking to either (Yr) or each other. I mention that the students
> cancelled, a slight look of guilt passes over Na's face.
> I order a wine, while the others order beer. It is the first time i have
> drunk since the transfer having given up for lent and also simply because i
> just didn't feel like drinking. I had met (Yr) at the hanami party where i
> was drinking coke and she says "you haven't drunk in a while". Na says
> angrily "for lent right" and I say "yes" and give her a look to mean no i
> haven't said anything. So it is obvious she knows about the Yonezawa story
> and I have not at this stage ever said anything to her myself.
> The night continues and i do a personality test where you need to draw a
> picture. Certain things represent your family and partner and choices in
> life. (Na) and the student enjoy it (m) seems to get upset by it. I give her
> a look to say- i dont mean it like that.
>
> Note : I use this test in a couple of classes and the students seem to enjoy
> it. One of the students is sleeping with (Ia) and she cancels two weeks
> later. I use the test with one of (M's) students as well and (Na's) they
> enjoy it. I haven't twigged this is a problem yet. The students walk out
> happy, one gave me her email address. I et birthday presents from a couple
> of them and also presents from my culture centre students after golden week.
>
> The day after the dinner we help move things from (Br's) apartment into the
> new arrivals place. There is also a truck coming later to move the fridge. I
> help with the move. That afternoon she has some friends coming down to
> visit. One of the is (Jo) the young woman i spoke to first about things up
> at the business training where i had the meeting with the head boss (s). (Na and M) dont seem to want me to meet her again.

> We have coffee in (m's) apartment and they seem a little angry at me. (Na)
> tells me she is going to be away for golden week, I had previously offered
> to look after her cat for her, but she says nothing about it, so i dont
> bother to offer again. I tell them my birthday is coming up - may 7 i say,
> to which they say nothing.
> I also know that (Ia) has a friend coming down who is a psychologist.
> (By) is away in Thailand and no one can tell me when he gets back.
>
> We finish moving and shifting a few things in the apartment. The girls seem
> to want to be alone all of a sudden (Na) starts singing the words "crazy,
> crazy......"  to which (M) replies "(Na) stop it" they laugh a little. I get
> upset and go to my apartment. I tell them i have futons if the new girl
> needs them and to call me if they want them. They say nothing. As i head up
> to my apartment (m) looks at me and mimicks "cos i dont wanna be alone". I
> glare at her and get upset but head back to my apartment.
> I stay in my apartment the rest of the night. I know they don't want me
> around. Call it a hunch if you might but i think it was to stop me meeting
> (Jo) again, as she was the one who encouraged me to speak up about what was
> happening.

> (Br) has been giving me advice as well and we both decide that they are
> probably angry about going to the students restaurant - the politics - that
> student is sleeping with (Ia) and i know too much gossip that i could use.
> Considering what happened to him, it makes sense. He also says that "it's
> written all over your face that the politics are getting to you".
>
> Anyway, the next day is Saturday. I bring (Ia) his mail and tell him i
> helped move. The tension has been obvious and he says "thankyou", gives me a
> look and says "(Br) is the issue". I nod and say " I know". Later that night
> as i am leaving i wish him a good golden week and he tells me to take care.
> He can't tell me when (By) gets back from Thailand either.
>
> I go to (my old city) and my old boss is a little quiet towards me at first but
> detects there is a problem. We go for coffee and i tell him about what has
> happened - bring up the being ignored decorating and the fact that every
> thing i do seems to upset (M) and its not all intentional, I simply want to
> get on with things, but they are reacting to things i say. I tell him how
> frustrated i am. I say, I am not mouthing off, but people seem to know. I
> feel like every conversation i have is being used against me. I say i'm not
> drinking for lent". The other teachers seem be baiting me into it looking
> like I am its little things - if i forget something, then it means i am
> referring to one of the complaints here. If i cant find something in the
> bookshelf, then i am mouthing off about the fact it is right in front of my
> face and i could see it, no i never opened my mouth. I havent said anything
> to Na or Ba or By. I say  By knows because he and Mr are friends. Ia and Na
> know because (S) told them and I know the staff were told because you told
> me. But i said, "I am on the wrong side of her and I am not sure why and she
> wont tell me when i try asking her which only makes her more annoyed".
> I also happen to add here that Kr rang me and told me she had been hearing
> things about me and wanted to hear my side of things. He says "thats my
> fault she'd had a bad weekend"
>
> I said, it's like i can't win. "you guys wanted me here on Tuesdays for
> classes in March".
> He said "you will need to make your own life and friends outside of work,
> you don't need the other teachers, your personal life shouldn't be an issue,
> who cares what S thinks"
> I said "it's a no win situation, I am not a ...city teacher anymore, but
> ....city doesn't want to know me".
> I also told him about (Br) and that perhaps the teachers were upset i knew
> some gossip - it wasn't anything they didn't know. I also added "people are
> reacting to everything i say, i don't know if it is guilty consciences". to
> which he nods and i continue "I'm not actually angry but if people think i
> am then perhaps they think i have good reason to be". I also add that "if i
> haven't been motivated thats because i haven't really felt like I have been
> given much reason to be. I visit the teachers and they ignore me, if i don't
> visit then I am not making the effort..i feel like i am being forced into
> this".
> to which he agrees and says "it's politics".
>
> We go for coffee again later and i say "it feels like i am not allowed to
> establish myself or make friends with anyone connected to (M) or the company
> ". He nods and  again tells me not to worry, "you've walked into two
> unfortunate office situations". I give him a disbelieveing look. I say "I
> can't help the fact so many people know, but that also means there is a damn
> lot of evidence i was getting upset" he nods looking slightly guilty "i let
> you down, (j) was almost not renewed and if he thinks he is on an easy
> ticket he's wrong. He blew up at (Mh - japanese staff member) the other day
> for giving him another kids class and she wouldn't speak to him the whole
> day". To which i reply "then why doesn't he get introuble for this shit".  I
> also add, " i didn't feel like i was wanted around during golden week, tell
> him i helped move and didnt get a thankyou...they don't even acknowledge my
> efforts". I add " I can't help the fact people know, I am not deliberately
> mouthing off".  I continue to add " i feel like people are trying to bait me
> into it".  he acknoledges it is simply me being present that is bad publicity.

> I also say,  "if there was such a problem in the classroom down here, why
> didnt (S) or (Sc - the area manager) come and observe me?" At this stage it
> had only been (Y - the office manager and she is not a teacher and (ma)
> twice himself)." I add "no one high up busted a gut to get down here and
> watch me or tell me, I was the one asking for help with the toeic and
> business classes".
>
> I watch the festival and invite the teachers up for my birthday. I get back
> on the Wednesday and Spend the day in my apartment. I can hear the others
> meeting the new chick, who i haven't met yet. This is going to look like i
> can't be bothered making the effort I am thinking. The next day i introduce
> myself and she comes to visit that evening. We have dinner with (P) and (M)
> the boss comes looking for us.
>
> Afterwards I am having a cigarette on the balcony and (M) sees me we have a
> quick conversation and i say "I'm not smoking in my apartment as much
> anymore, it's starting to smell" she comes over and asks me how my holiday
> was and I say "good " I also add exasperatedly (d) invited everyone. She
> asls me what i did yesterday. I lie and say i went to Nikko, i don't feel
> like telling her anything.
> She points at the balcony and says. We talk about obon being the next
> holiday and she heads back to her apartment "we should get some chairs,
> we'll work something out" I simply glare at her. I have invited her, the new
> chick and (P) to my birthday party. She lies and tells me she didnt realise
> it was my birthday. I had told her twice before golden week and (Na) twice
> as well. I leave a note for (P) to visit me as i am upset.
>
> That Tuesday at work it is obvious they are trying to avoid me having alone
> time with the new teacher and none of the other teachers are spending long
> in the teachers desk area while I am alone. (Ia) takes the new girl to lunch
> that day which i notice is when we would have been alone in the staff room
> together when looking at the schedule.
>
> I invite the other teachers to my birthday and there seems to be an
> uncomfortable atmosphere in the air (By) says he is busy with (L). (Ia) says
> he will come, I also invite the staff (St and Mi and Mk). Two of them say
> they will come.
>
> It is during this week that i receieve the health insurance letter, but i
> did not open it at this stage.
> The night of my birthday I meet (e) at the train station and tell her how
> isolated I am feeling.
> She tells me  - "make friends outside, but you don't seem to be able to do
> that".
> We head to the bar (Mk) arrives and we meet another group of people one of
> whom is also having a birthday party.  I go and meet (k) and (kr) who are
> now an item. I take them to the bar. Everybody i invited from my old city is
> there and (M) the new girl and (P) are there, he has also invited some of
> his friends one or two (Ni and Jy) who i have met one night in april when he
> invited EVERYBODY including the other teachers of my company although noone
> came. (M) had a friend (Lu) coming to visit and i ran into her as i was
> going to get something to drink for (P's) waiting for him to arrive. All the
> teachers of my company call him to say they arent coming.
>
> Anyway I detect (m) is slightly angry at me she says "how is work?" I say
> "fine", she gives me a strange look and goes "yeah?".  I have a conversation
> with (Ni) he is going back to America and I say I am enjoying myself and
> tell him my family are planning to visit in August. (M) gives an annoyed
> sigh at this. I go to have a friendly chat with (Kr) and she asks me if the
> other teachers are coming. I tell her that (Ia) said he would come, and that
> reminds me so I call him but get no answer.
>
> We sing Karaoke most of the night after some dart playing. I am sitting next
> to (M) most of the night and singing away and then move seats and I am
> sitting next to (d) who is busy making out with someone. I ask (Kr) to
> choose a song for me. Some of the others join in. We head off soon after.
> (M) glares at me as she walks out.
> (P) and his friends stay at the bar. We go to a third bar which (e) meets us
> at later after not being able to find my apartment.
> I am detecting that (m) is angry at me when i am around (k) - note he is one
> person who was a witness to most of the harrassment and could back up a fair
> bit of the situation. She pulls me up to dance and throws/pushes me at one
> of the bar men, he starts trying to dance quite closely at which she gives
> me a strange look to imply "what are you doing". I back away and go and sit
> down with (k) again.
>
> She also seems annoyed when i talk to (Kr) she asks them both to stay in her
> apartment that night and glares at me. We have left (e) behind as she wants
> to stay and talk to the bar owners. I feel terrible and we stop on the way
> back to call her. (M) keeps walking but seems angry. We get back to the
> apartment eventually and (m) is still up we also see (p) and a friend of
> his. (Kr) needs to go to the toilet so we walk past and head to my apartment
> and i catch another evil look from (m) as they head@into my place. I say
> something quietly to (k) while (kr) is in the toilet because i feel like
> something is up "I feel like a scapegoat" I say, but you were there "you saw
> most of it" to which he goes "i know....dont worry everything is
> fine....there's no problem, you're birthday was a good night".
> We go for breakfast after getting dressed. (d) has met us by then and we are
> to bring (m) back some McDonalds i kind of laugh at her and giver her a look
> meaning "you're going to have to open the door".@I see (d) off at the train
> station after telling her about things. I bring up the feelings of isolation
> (j) is allowed to get on with things why can't i....it's too hard to get
> away from when the whole bloody koriyama office knows about it and it just
> seems to keep being brought up". She encourages me to quit - give two weeks
> notice and see how you feel".
>
> The environment at work is hostile, at least i feel like it is. I arrive and
> (Ia) doesn't even apologise for not coming to the birthday party.  This is a
> tuesday and the area management is also down. I know something is up as
> none of the teachers are talking to me and the boss of my culture centre
> comes and asks if everything is ok. i ask to have a coffee with (m), she is
> hesitant at first but I give her a serious look as if to say "it's what you
> want" to which she nods.
>
> We sit down and have coffee and I say to her
> "at the risk of exacerbating things even further" to which she shakes her
> head, but i think she is lying. I continue " I am not sure exactly what is
> going on but I have actually had a word to (ma) about whats going on here
> and he admitted the yuki told the staff and that the teachers were told
> about yonezawa....I can't help the fact that people know... i have a
> reputation to live down i have to accept that". She replies "...you have
> noooooo reputation like THAT, let me tell you".  I continue and say "I feel
> like people are reacting to everything i do, it's little things like asking
> the date..I know people here know". She lies to me and says "no, the
> teachers finding out would be unprofessional of me". She continues " i don't
> talk to Na about it" i know this is a lie from the whole "crazy" and "stop
> it Na" incident and the dinner with (Yr) that she does and i haven't been
> theone who did it.
> We talk about who knows an she says " I know, management knows, and the
> people in the meeting at (.....) know, (jo) knows because you told us
> that night remember?" I say "yes". I say I don't want everybody knowing and
> I don't want to talk about what happened anymore" and she says "tell me the
> whole story..i only now some...it was totally like harrassment right". I say
> "it's a separate issue and i want it dead as much as you do. I am not
> running around trying to get everyone to quit ot turn the whole world
> against (j)". "i know" she says and smiles.
> I also add "I'm not an evil person...you have been panicking around me since
> (ne) observed me" she denies this, but i can tell i am right. She couldn't
> make eye contact with me that day. I say the other teachers seem worried"and
> she says "that you might use things against them". and i also add "I am
> sorry if I have upset you somehow, its not been intentional, but some of it
> has been to bait or test to see if you are actually worried about the email,
> I have no intention of suing or anything of the sort...". she says "i know"
> and smiles. Her mother had been worried about this
> when i was in sendai for the kids training so i knew it was partly true,
> they were trying to keep me happy, but i probably wasn't getting renewed.
> But i still wanted to know what was going on.
> She cuts me off and changes the topic.
>
> Instinct tells me that from what happened to (Br) that my birthday party no
> show by the teachers wasn't a coincidence.  I say to her "not everything i
> am doing is deliberate...but i think too many people know and the gossip is
> going around in circles". She tells me to relax and the conversation changes
> to more menial things. She tries to reassure me that nobody knows, which i
> know is a lie by the way they react simply to words like christmas or movie.
> I head back for class. (Ia) looks at me and gives me a disappointed 'hi'. I
> say nothing.
>
> The next day I call headquarters because i know (m) is lying to me, but i cant call her mother because its the bosses daughter i am having a problem with
> and i am tired of trying to get a straight answer out of her when i do ask
> her. I speak to (Ne - who's name is on the email) and tell him "look i don't
> know what you are hearing, but if you think i am running around threatening
> to quit again, it's not actually true I have never said anything of the
> sort. I feel like everything I am doing is being construed against me" to
> which he says there's no problem in the classroom"  He also adds "perhaps
> the other teachers are set in there ways" I simply go "sure", and he adds
> "you're happy right?" I reply with a terse "yes".
>
> I get back that evening and things have changed. The atmosphere is a bit
> better the staff seem pleased for me. The teachers seem ok, but things are a
> little awkward.
>
> We have a teachers meeting the following day and the tension between (m) and
> myself is quite obvious and its is obvious people in the room know about our
> discussions. Especially when the words pro development day and the name (ne)
> comes up as he is moving back home in August. I had lost a student (Iz)
> which i contribute to the fact that i was privvy to the knowledge she was
> sleeping with (Ia) - this is because (Br) told me while we were at the
> restaurant.
> Later they are joking "when is "Br" going to leave the office" - perhaps
> hinting at the fact that because i knew the same information i was disliked
> just as much.
> I leave for my culture centre shortly afterwards.
>
> That weekend I have a new lesson to teach I arrive for the first time in a
> while at 10.20 am
> and (Ia) arrives after me. He seems surprised to see me there and i notice
> him look at my keys strangely.
> Later that day I have a lesson to teach which the student is supposed to
> pick me up for. (Ia) had said he would walk me down. I ask (mh) where to go
> to meet the car and she tells me she doesn't know. this to me now seems a
> lie - she works there every saturday, she must know. I ask (Ia) as he walks
> out of a classroom and he gives me a long speel  mentioning an alley way he
> says it could be a mazda or it could be a station wagon. I go outside
> looking for the car and can't find it. I go back up twice and tell (Mh) that
> i can't find the car. (Ia) points his head out and says "he's right there
> and shows me the mazda" I apologise a few times feeling very frustrated at
> the tension that has been going on with all the teachers and he says "it's
> your problem with (mh), take it up with her.
> (mh) is on the phone to (st and management) I go back down the car has gone,
> so i come back up and (Ia) says "right in front of your face and you
> couldn't even see it, he's driven off". I am getting extremely upset by this
> I apologise and he says "don't get me involved in whats going on".
> I go downstairs looking again. I see the car driving off again and run after
> it and finally catch up to the car. My student from my last class had been
> there watching all of this commotion.
> Neither (Ia or Mh) actually told me to simply wait downstairs which is where
> the car always waits. They were being deliberately unhelpful. "i don't know"
> and "oh its.............".
>
> I come back from the lesson and (O - the manager of my culture centre) is
> there. I burst into tears and he and (mh) take me into another room. I have
> a lesson starting at 3. The student and her mother saw me crying just before
> i went to a separate room. I am crying a lot and (Ia) comes and talks to me.
> I have a go at him and say " i can't win, damned if i do and damned if i
> don't ", he says "can you teach a lesson? that's all that matters". and I
> say "the only way for you to prove I am not mouthing off would be to ask the
> students and people themselves...I'm sorry i went out with Br (because to me
> that seemed to be what this was about, i was getting the same treatment and
> isolation as him)".  In response (Ia) replies "i don't know what you are
> talking about".  I knew he was lying here because he had admitted it to me
> the saturday after the hanami party as i have noted.
> I continue that "if this is about (kr) she rang me, not the other way
> around". I had kind of twigged something was up here because the office
> manager gave me a funny look when i walked home alone with the new chick but
> again he denied knowledge. He went to teach his class I cried for a few more
> minutes went to teach and still burst into tears in front of the student but
> progressed through the lesson.
>
> That weekend (e) came down and I told her about the fight I had with (Ia)
> and crying in front of the students and she basically told me "you're
> leaving - write out the resignation tomorrow". I agreed. There was no point
> if i was crying in front of students. So i did this the following day.
>
> That Tuesday i went to work and asked the staff for a fax number to the head
> office. I had printed out two originals. I kept one and left the
> faxed copy on (Ms) desk. Miho came running in minutes later with my health
> insurance note saying it would take about two weeks. I gave the staff a look
> as if to say - don't tell me you weren't prepared for this already" and the
> staff manager nodded".
>
> Things basically got worse after that. I got no response or acknowledgement
> about the resignation whatsoever but i could tell they were pissed about it.
> They didn't like being made to look like fools and basically told me so.
> However i did not understand the problem when everyone had already been told
> i was leaving by (M). I was angry however because the words "I quit" had
> never actually come out of my mouth and they had nothing in writing until
> this day.
>  Sortly after this i was accused of throwing out a teachers gas bill, which if i did do i have no recollection of - the mail box had no lock it could have been anybody.

> It was unfortunate that the new teachers welcome party was coming up as
> well. The teachers managed to get there own back orchestrated a little by
> (S) in order to cover up for the new teacher who had twigged something
> pretty awful was going on from the minute she arrived.
> I arrive back from my day at the culture centre and (Ia) and (By) and (M)
> walk in angry at me. I am unsure why as i have not been in the office all
> day. (Ia) says hello to (Ba) but not to me. I am reading a book
> (Ia) almost drops his books and i ask if he is ok to which he gives me an
> angry (you bitch) look.
>
> The next day i have a sneaking suspicion crosses my mind that they have made
> 2nd harrassment claim to cover things up. (By) walks in and aks me about his
> tatoo "was he gentle" to which i smile and make a connection
> to what happened in Yonezawa, i had complained "it's in the office as well".
> (Ia) arrives and is angry at me (By) looks at us both and gives me an angry
> look and I look at him 'whats going on?'.
> They start talking and i think well if i have done nothing wrong at i catch
> (Ia) out when i talk to him about australia and give him a questioning look.
> He isn't angry at me because he responds and then gets look of being found
> out and then he and (By) look at each other. I turn away later that night i
> get back in the office and they are talking to me normally but oviously
> feeling guilty about something and (By) even gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> I can also tell by the fact the new chick seems angry at me and they will
> not talk to me in front of her or if (M) is around.  You would have to be in
> the office to understand how i mean this.
>
> By is going to the city where headqurters is the night of the farewell party which i also connect
> to reversing the gossip chain of who i told in headquarters branch about what happened -
> (By) is friends with (mr) so it is likely he has told him.
> I walk into the office that evening and (Ia) is gloating when he looks at me
> and so is (M). (By) gives me an (I'm sorry) look.
> Again I am only suspicious because of indirect comments and peoples
> reactions and knowing the politics i know i have stirred up trouble by not
> dealing with (m) directly anymore.
> But (P) in my apartment building tells me i am right.
>
> At the welcome party i am sat next to three students who are supposed to
> have complained - yet they bought me birthday presents and signed up again
> and hug me at the end of the night. One of them is sleeping with (Ia). I am
> also sitting next to (Ia) and he and (Na) wink at each other as they sit
> down and then look at me. So i know something is going on. (Ia) moves seats
> just before the end of the night.
>
> We leave and go to (p's) birthday party afterwards. I leave the party about
> 1 i think. I hear the next morning (By) showed up shortly after i left.
> I ring the boss after the morning after the welcome party and she will not
> let me come to headquarters to meet her face to face.
> Things have simply gotten very nasty since the resignation and my instincts
> tell me they are making up a 2nd claim.
> (m) starts joking in front of the new chick about how (By) is funny when he
> drinks - he does "hey baby" to everyone. I mention "i have never seen him
> drunk, he's never done that to me" she gives me a smirk and the new chick
> looks at me strangely. Later at lunch (m) says i am the running joke, so i am pretty sure it is what they have done and by now feeling pretty disgusted that they would make a joke of the first office.
>
> Teachers find out i am seeing a counsellor which creates more panick - my
> medical certificate says the words emotionally overwraught. From here things
> get worse.
> They definitely think i am up to something and from the way they are taking
> copies of everything and the incidences with the health insurance i now
> think something strange has happened. They are defintley worried
>
> I go to my old city  and tell them i think something is up. It has obviously
> reached back to my old city
> because (kr) my replacement has heard. She is friends with the boss (Ss) son
> and in contact with (m).
>
> Who is checking up on me to see if i am in my new city or not quite regularly.
> Even my old boss sounds relieved when i tell him i am in mynew city.
> Well if going to myold city was a problem then why did no one say anything.
> Hoever it is the implication i am receiving.
>
> My boss is down and seems to be hesitant to want to talk with me. But she
> sits down gives me a gloating look and says teasingly and i MEAN this "it's
> a completely different staff....". So i know the rehash/ running joke is
> true.
> I say the wrong thing about laying all the cards on the table - my intention
> was to get her to be honest because i know people havent been and i dont
> really understand what happened. She sees my anti depresents on the table
> and leaves after we exchange some harsh words. She tell me she moved me to
> give me a chance, which i dont believe and aks why i talked about it in my new office -
> i didn't and the only person who knows this for sure is me, the students and
> the other teachers themselves but they havent directly admitted it, but
> since my old boss has already told me, I am reminded of his words "you've
> walked into two unfortunate situations....." . I tell the boss that i think
> it is sick if she is making what happened in the first office a joke. "i
> tell her, if you honestly think being given a choice between punching and
> having your crutch grabbed is funny..." and she goes "yeah it's hysterical".  She never bothered to ask me specifics when i did come out with parts of what happened.


> Shortly after this she leaves.
> At the very least it is bullying because i am being told by (M) to use
> different stairwells to avoid running into the new chick.
> (S) rings me while i am having breakfast about the new tenant. The landlords
> name comes up and as i mentioned before, she comes in speaking only japanese
> until the next day when she speaks english well enough to handle the water
> bill payment and wish me a nice flight at the least. (C) from shirakawa also
> comes up to check on things while the tenant is there, she was supposed to
> pick me up the day i arrived and didn't.
> Something doesnt add up - the wild goose chase for the car 'but it was right
> in front of you' - neither of them were going to help me, (Ia) not coming to
> my birthday party and the fact he was laughing at me when i started arriving
> at 10.30 again. I honestly feel like they are finding excuses to get me into
> trouble and since they have influence with the boss, they can say whatever
> they want. No one ever sat down and to tell me. If i was being fired for bad
> teaching they never sat down and told me this. Things were just nasty.
> The day I resigned (M) and (Na) took the new chick downstairs and told her
> everything about me and what happened in Yonezawa. I can only tell this from
> the fact that when the topic of movies (something happened with the boys at
> the movies remember) came up later that day in the office she gave me a
> sympathetic look and she actually texted (P) to check up on me.
> It's like the management is simply panicked about what i could say and
> trying to beat me to it instead of leaving it around. Little things like
> saying 'i forget' seemed to make people react with a gulity conscience.
>
> I have finally collected my last pay and am away from it, but it has been a
> difficult seven months.  But I am suspicious about a lot of things. I am
> also angry that i wasnt at least given a chance to be moved away from the
> fact everyone knew about the harrassment at the very least. Every time i
> tried dealing with the bosses daughter she wasn't honest with me - i put this
> down to her name being on the email.
>
> I am sorry it is such a long account, but to me little things dont add up -
> being told i could only apply for  3 months of guitar lessons, not putting
> the water bill in my name. The fact the staff were busy doing something
> dodgy with the health insurance while i was off for being emotionally
> overwraught. It at the very least was simply a situation where i would not
> have been able to do anything right. My conversations with my old boss who
> even acknowledged when i rang to say goodbye "it would have been simpler if
> you'd gone back to (home country)......i gave you some bad advice last time you
> were down (which was golden week)".
>
> To me it feels a little planned - she wasn't harrassed, she was moved to two
> offices and she still didnt work out. Well its a little difficult when the
> other teachers have barely had a conversation with me and things have been
> this hostile. Not all of this seems a coincidence - getting in trouble for
> arriving 'late' when it is the same thing that happened to the office staff. I was told it was ok.

It was never my intention to get new staff and teachers involved but the first thing everyone did was take them aside and tell them the whole story. How am i supposed to get passed things if this is going on.

I am home now and away from it which is the main thing, but i am still pretty angry. It is sick that they would go and make the first situation the running joke. Seven months of this was enough.