Weblog of Melissa

Jun 28, 2005 at 01:08 o\clock

Im so happy

by: devilish_princess

2day i met Luke in poole! woz gd went around shops 4 a bit i bought a Donkey lol! Went bak 2 his watched movie.  He wanted the donkey so badly i thought i wud b nice and giv it him! Basically spent the day at his. I didnt feel 2 well havnt slept 4 the last 3 nights! I havnt eaten much l8ly either owell i blame it on the weather! Anyway went 2 meet up wid Viv coz we were going 2 c Rob in hospital. Guys just keepin hurtin themselves Zack then David then Rob! Then went 2 Sandbanks which woz more of a gathering than a party! Well had a feeling people were bitchin about me so that really pissed me off.  Then decided 2 go 2 Karstons house so Kasrton this other guy Simon Chloe Loz Tom and me all got in his car although it woz very uncomfortable as u wud of guessed lol!  Walked bak 2 Sandbanks as Chloe had 2 get picked up!  Basically sums it up! gr i cant wait 2 start work now i really cant money yay! 1 bad thing is i wnt b able 2 c any1 really coz i have work most the time i dnt no if i will get days off or not yet! Well gettin really annoyed with m8s! They keep saying stuff out loud 2 people about me they r doing 4 a laugh but is really starting 2 bug me! Like b4 i found Luke they always tried 2 take the piss if i was with a guy and wen i was happy they just turned it around and wudnt shut up. Ok was a laugh 4 a while but duz really annoy me! know 1 tells me anything anymore! Sum times i just wish sum of my m8s got the shit from people i do 2 show them wot its really like! So far this year theres only 1 thing good thats happend! That was finding Luke ok thats over now but i can honestly say wen we were going out that woz the only time i have actually been so happy! Anyway wen i start my job everything will change i wnt probs c any 1 as much as i normally do so they will just probs go 4get bout me! owell we will c then i will c who gives a shit and who duznt!  Well the only person i know is def there 4 me wen i need sum1 is Luke i can tell him everything and he will listen! I guess thats y i 4gave him even though he hurt me becoz i know that deep down he is a gr8 guy and he will b my best m8 4ever even if we argue or dnt c each other much! Its werid wen im with him it feels like we r more than friends but less than gf bf! The feelings i had 4 him r almost gone now but the friendship i have with him will always b there 4eva! 

Jun 26, 2005 at 21:41 o\clock

This weekend

by: devilish_princess

This weeked hasnt been 2 bad! 2 start of beach party friday night! was good had a gd time met a girl called Hayley who is now my sis and met loads of peeps!  Saturday went 2 poole with Kat walked around with her and her bf woz meant 2 of met this guy she is trying 2 set me up with but he cudnt cum! he really likes me but i just dnt really like him in that way just as a m8 so sum how got 2 give him the picture b4 he grows 2 like me 2 much!  well had a big hangover from the party the worst one ive had yet and still feel slighlty hung over! 2day went 2 pool e2 meet with Josh Luke and Dan! walked around 4 a bit then went 2 the gardens 2 meet up with loz Karsten and Simon.  Went over 2 meet sum new peeps spoke 2 this guy called Gaz 4 a bit! After went off with Loz Simon and Carlston with Chris and Guy! Sat in the other Gardens 4 a while listened 2 music then chris and Guy went! Walked down 2 the beach the waves were surfable so we wished we had r surf boards and body boards but me Loz Karsten and Simon r hopefully going next weekend yay! Then just walked round thats about it! Woz a gd day on the whole but very tired! Well i like this guy buti know i wnt get him just a small crush! Meh owell! Anyway 2moz going 2 meet up with sum peeps then going 2 mine and cornflakes party which shud b gd! Just 2 celelbrate no more exams realli! so shud b gd

Jun 24, 2005 at 18:03 o\clock

Meh

by: devilish_princess

Y is it that such small things r getting 2 me! y is it that its all building up!  I know where the problem all started! It wasnt Luke it woz b4 all that! It started of with my so called best m8!  I dnt consider her my best m8 any more and has sunk in at last after months of getting upset and pissed off! I guess my m8s helped me 4get about her and made me realise she wasnt a gd m8! thnx Mike Erin and also Luke! i 4t i wud give her 1 more chance 2day bcoz i wanted 2 c if she still gives a dam about me like she sed! Basically on Sunday we planeed that ever i wud sleep at hers or she wud sleep at mine 2day! So i phoned her 2 c which way it was guna work and she sed neh im sleeping at Rowenas! grrr! Well thats it now by by u have lost me as a best m8 i wills till b socialble but i have other people i can trust and who dnt go tell every1! Erin and Mike have been there 4 me all through this and i love u 2 2 bits.  I have learnt her game going 2 briefly sum it up! Use sum1 as a best m8 and i was the start of this!  She sleep at urs weneva she wants lie 2 her parents so she can go out and she has sum where 2 stay and sum1 2 cover 4 her. Then wen u realise all shes doing is using u she moves on 2 sum1 else 4 example Rowena! Now i had a massive chat wid rowena and shes gr8 but 1ce agen the same person is doing the same 2 her wot a surprise and now goin of with Nikita! However as far as im aware Rowena has gone bak 2 her and i know the feeling u care 4 her so much but 1 year l8er u realise wot she is realli doing 2 u so Rowena will realise but 4 now im here 4 her becoz shes about 2 experience the pain i went through!  I just wish i cud turn bak time and never of invited her out wid my m8s if i didnt then we wud stil b reali close but owell u cant turn bak time and i have learnt 2 care onli 4 thos who care about u!

Jun 23, 2005 at 00:05 o\clock

Woz gd then went bad

by: devilish_princess

me and Luke had a big chat on msn! it woz gd bcoz we both realised we hav each other as m8s and we cantlk 2 each other about anything! Then amy came on msn! Luke and her wernt havin a gd time so i tried 2 help them 2 b m8s and yeh basically help them out bcoz i care!  Anyway then Luke got alll btichy with her so he decided 2 say 2 me she tld him not 2 have sex with me or anything anymore. I got confused and then he goes yeh i cheated on u with her! My whole body just shook up! I didnt believe it how cud i? so i ask amy she sed he came 2 c her all the way in Birstol! I didnt get angry with amy bcoz her and luke were rguin! Anyway i just cudnt believe it! All that time i woz realli woz about him bcoz i new sumthtin woz wrong and he sed it was stress and i believed him and tried to help.  I cant believe this Luke cheating on me its realli hard 2 believe! I wud of understood if he told me at the time but no so i woz wrorried about him 4 no reason wen all he woz doing woz cheating! Luke though Luke! sum1 tell me wot i have dun 2 deserve this? I wud like 2 know!  I will change i will change i will if sum1 tells me wot 2 do! Can u believe this im even 4giving him and gunna saty m8s with him after all that! I dnt no wot 2 do. I spent the day woth Erin and Mike i talked 2 them bout stuff and they helped but that woz b4!  I never really even used 2 tlk 2 Erin much but now i feel i can trust her and Mike! grrrrrr Luke u realise if it woz any1 else u wud of probs lost them 4 gd but as its me i am forgiving u!

Jun 22, 2005 at 14:35 o\clock

Not having skool is so boring!

by: devilish_princess

Dans bday yesterday! woz ok had a long emotional convo wid Rowena. Just sat on a bench thinking about stuff thnx Erin and Mike ur stars! Well science exam woz easy 2day got 1 more 2moz! Its kl not having skool but its god dam boring especially wen u have alot on ur mind sitting down all day in ur house duznt help! So trying 2 get out as much a possible! Going 2 c Erin a bit l8er.  I just dnt think Luke wants 2 c me! ok fair enough but its like he duznt even wanan no me! I juat wanna b m8s and c each other but hes always busy. Meh thats life! Just want a special m8 that cares i guess thats 2 much 2 ask 4. I guess i miss being able 2 go out and have a gd time with Luke meeting up wid his m8s and stuff!  nun my m8s like goign 2 da beach or anything which i love doing so thats outa da question! I wanna move on so badly but how can i do that wen im sitting on here all the time! I h8 going out in my own so thats also outa the question! i think if i cud just meet a new group of people i wud b so much happier. I guess thats y i like going 2 beach partys lol! problem being no1 likes me!  Im not sure but i think Luke feels that if im around him and c him im never gunna move on! but i no tis sounds strange but i find it the otherway round! Luke is my bst m8 even if i dnt get 2 c him eva agen! Ok im guna go out on my bike now b4 i start crying again! blog l8er xxxx

Jun 21, 2005 at 13:42 o\clock

Fuk life

by: devilish_princess

Fuk life these 2 weeks have been the worst of my life!!! grr!!! DAM IT ALL IM GOING CHAV SOUNDS SO MUCH EASIER!

Jun 20, 2005 at 23:53 o\clock

had a gd day but feelings attack

by: devilish_princess

went shopping 1st of all got new shoes hehe! well then went home did nout. Then went 2 bmouth had a gr8 time ice sk8ing unti David hurt himself fell over had 2 go 2 hospital. Sat down 4 a bit 2 think about stuff but i cudnt realli tlk 2 any1 alyse woz acting funni wid me and just needed 2 think. Got home spoke 2 luke normally cheers me up. But sum reason he woz being really sarcastic think it mite b coz he had Josh round. Well as much as i am trying so hard 2 move on i cant.  Weneva i think i can i cant. Luke sed 2 me then im over it all now. As soon as he sed that i burst in 2 tears. How can he b ova it all all th gd times we had. i feel like im bak 2 sqaure 1 wen he dumped me.  I just wish he didnt say that or waited 4 a while b4 saying it bcoz now im just gunan have 2 go through wot i did wen he dumped me and go bak 2 the start.  I was realli happy us 2 being m8s the day wen i went 2 c him wid sofe and sophie it cheered me up so much and i felt he woz a gr8 m8. Its just when he says hes ova it and things like that thats wen i get upset and the more he says that and simular stuff the longer it will take me 2 move on. Deep down i dnt wanna move on atm i want him bak c thats wot happens wen he says stuff like that 2 me all i think is how much i want him bak.  Theres no1 else out there 4 me no1. I was starting 2 try move on and accepted that but now i feel like im bak 2 square 1.  Going 2 poole 2moz just 2 c Erin 2 tlk. Then goin 2 dans bday beach party i hope im up 2 it wanna have a gd time but whether i will b able 2 is a different matter 

 

Jun 19, 2005 at 20:22 o\clock

Life is going ok now well kinda

by: devilish_princess

On friday went to a beach party! woz realli angry this kid hes 17 gave me a rolly and told me it woz just tabaco. But it hit my head really bad had really bad head rush straight away so oviously woznt just tabaco it must of been pot or sumthin. well felt dizzy 4 bout 30mins and upset 4 sum reason the thing is i had been drinking aswell so that didnt help. So next week im gunna kill this guy grrr him. Well then saterday had a wedding at the royal bath hotel. Woz ok in the day sore my m8s Charlotte and Jessica hadnt seem then sinse about January time and met a really nice girl called Kelly. 1st of all i realli didnt wanna go but wen i got there woz really really posh and woz actually quite kl.  So woz wid Charlotte Jessica and Kelly most of the day as we had a 2hr gap between the marrage and the evening party.  But guess wot i sore 2 teachers from my skool the 2 teachers i cant stand 1 RE the other German. they wernt there 4 the wedding god knows y they were there. Evening woz gd but woz ill so didnt realli feel up 2 dancing plus i dnt exactly like dancing anyway. Um yeh so 2day woz going 2 meet up with Chloe but really 2 tired coz i wud of had 2 of left at 11 2 get there and i didnt get home till 2am last night. Sharron phoned me at 1 asking me 2 go 2 hers in her pool. Felt a bit guilty coz i didnt go and c Chloe so sharron sed she cud cum 2 but she cudnt. So went 2 Sharrons went in her Pool had a BBQ so now have a kinda red face but its going brown! Got a tan at last!!!  I still keep thinking bout Luke how much i wish we were still 2gether just wish we had waited another couple of weeks 2 c how it went. I still Love him but he knows that and he respects me 4 it coz he knows how it feels 2 love sum1 so although he wants me 2 find sum1 else and move on he duznt mind and isnt affecting r friendship.  Sum times i just sit and think how much of a gd person he is. I dnt think ive met another guy like him he accepts me 4 who i am i know we will never go bak out but the friendship we have is special and i know hes there 4 me 2 talk 2 and cheer me up. Luke thanks 4 being so supportive and a gr8 m8 i know ive sed it millions of times b4 but it duz mean sumthin 2 me!

Jun 17, 2005 at 18:15 o\clock

Luke thnx u realli cheered me up

by: devilish_princess

2day has been the best day and i woz happy hehe! Woz a bit nervous 2 c Luke but went 2 poole 2 eet him Sophie and Sophie. Woz a gd day went random places got 2 know both da Sophies well woz quite fun and a laugh! goin 2 a beach party l8 yay

Jun 15, 2005 at 17:05 o\clock

Weird feeling!

by: devilish_princess

ok well had Maths 1st. spoke 2 Chloe and loz b4 started crying just b4 exam not gd. well went in2 exam came out feeling better believe it or not Bradly yes Bradly cheered me up lol! out of all people! Well he told me that wen he woz 3 he won the cutest baby award and woz in the echo and had long hair lol god r remember that! Bradly cute i dnt think so lol!  Well last nite oviously i woz very upset as i have neva experienced woz it feels like 2 break up with sum1 u love b4 as luke is the 1st 1 ive had i actually loved.  So last night went 2 bed quite l8 and thought about everything.  Well had a few tears and woth that feel asleep lol.  Ok well after a crappy day of exams now i have a weird feeling. Im talking 2 Luke on msn but everything is going ok after all. I have been very wrorried that we wnt stay m8s bcoz of the situation but we r staying gd m8s. It will take time but i will remember the gd memorys ive had.  Well im seeing him on Friday then next friday goin out with him and his m8s 2 kill myself lol well if the weathers hot lol otherwise i wud rather watch. That shud b a laugh.  Well i feel happier hav tears now and again but i feel better knowing we wnt go off and 4get each other and we r gd m8s. U wnt believe it but if it wasnt 4 the gr8 luke i wud neva of been able 2 answer sum questions in r geog exam lol woz about fish farming so thnx luke all ur broing talk paid of lol giggles

Jun 14, 2005 at 18:36 o\clock

Feel like my life has ended

by: devilish_princess

Sum it all up in 1 me and Luke r no longer going out! ok sorri i realli cant blog atm its hard 2 explain how i feel rite now

Jun 13, 2005 at 21:58 o\clock

No exams 2day

by: devilish_princess

well had no exams today! So i went 2 Alyses had pizza lol. Well Dan Rob ad Blaze came to. Looked at funny movie clips on the internet which woz quite funny. Then walked to swimming at about 4.30. I lost 1 my fave earings :( but apart from that was fun! Then nice kind rowena got me a chicken fillet burgar lol. She is so silly lol she decided 2 swap a £5 note into 5ps from sharron mad person!! not a very long blog i know but not really much to say. I feel better than yesterday so its all good! Miss you Luke hehe

Jun 12, 2005 at 23:08 o\clock

wish people wud tell me wen there is a change of plan!

by: devilish_princess

ok went 2 bmouth 2 find no1 woz there! phoned Alyse who then told me they were in poole! i went home 2 phone them 2 c where they were coz i had no credit! well 2ce agen they had moved on! well im fed up of people changing plans! all it takes is 1 text but no! well i phoned chloe coz she woz meant 2 b going 2 bmouth  l8 2 c if she new but funny enough i then found out they were at sharrons house alex text chloe so she new but i didnt get a text! it seemed like they thought it woz funny well its not funny how wud they like it and havin 2 spend £1.60 on a bus journey which takes 45 mins 2 get there 4 no reason! All i eva have wanted in life is 2 fit in feel wanted but i have neva had that neva! i thought wen r sunday group came 2gether my dream had cum tru not 1ce b4 has any1 eva invited me places or anything! yet thats all gon crap i love em all 2 bits Alyse Alex Zack Erin Chris Loz Chloe Dan Mike Rob Blaze Sharron Rowena. Sum i know better than overs coz sum i havnt known that long but i still care and luv em 2 bist! but i dnt think they realli care about me! if people gave me a chance they wud realise how much i care for them they wonder y i cry and get angry and moody thats bcoz i cant stand always being the 1 2 b left out and thats wot i feel most of the time l8ly! wen eva i organise summit i invite every1! well i no sum u lot read this so hopefully now u will inderstand y i get angry at u and upset! Wekk so i went on msn arranged 2 c mike coz no1 else woz online or they were at sharrons so met up wid him 4 a few hours! then went 2 lukes he cheered me up and we sorted everythin out which im happy about! so atm me and luke r fine and looks like its goin 2 b gd agen !! well that cheered me up i needed him and he woz there 4 me so thanks luke!

Jun 11, 2005 at 23:45 o\clock

WOT DO I DO SUM1 PLZ HELP

by: devilish_princess

i dnt no wot 2 do! 1st of all i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE luke 2 bits maybe a bit 2 much! but l8ly hes been treating me like shit but b4 he woz lovely he treated me well and i had neva been happier! but now it seems like ive neva cried so much ova a guy in my life! I feel like hes just using me becoz he cant have Amy as she lives 2 far! I have been trying 2 deal with the change bcoz i love him and i dnt no if i cud carry on not being wid him. But then agen i am so stressed about it god i dnt no i realli dnt no! I dnt think he cares anymore he says he duz but y is it he neva kisses me anymore he neva can b  botherd 2 meet me is excuse is hes 2 tired but the next minute i find out hes out with his m8s ok fair enough but he cud tell me that but 4 god sake he duz not tlk me anymore ever realli.  He told me he woznt going 2 wimborne and all me m8s r there now but i woznt invited. Luke sed o he aint going coz i asked him 2 go wid me but then i pjoned him and he goes hi im at wimborne and se do r b 2 tired 2 c u 2moz! The onli reason im coping now is actually bcoz of his m8s who r bein realli supportive even though i dnt realli no em there being more supportive than my m8s. The onli 2 peeps i no that care and listen 2 me r Alyse and MIke. Also chloe but i dnt wanna realli make her upset atm coz shes realli realli happy she has a new bf Simon hes quite kl gd luk 2 em! Well lukes my longest bf 1 month 3 weeks! dnt sound long but it seems so much longer becoz i woz seeing him so often but now he just duzn not realli wanna c me well i dnt hink he duz.  I have the feeling hes gunna dump me but he duznt and says he cares and duznt wanna loose me. well 2 b honest i dnt no how much more i can take i feel likes hes treating me like shit. ok this has got 2 b the hardest situation so far in my life I love him im tryin 2 follow my heart but its so much stress involved. well im hoping 2moz mike will b in bmouth although i dnt think he will b. Well r tlk 2 Alyse or summit bcoz i need 2 sort this out.

Jun 11, 2005 at 11:45 o\clock

Party

by: devilish_princess

Mood: Cheerful

Ok started off crap! I onli gfot typsy but they all ever went 2 blazes house or bmouth! well i didnt do either i woz wear new flip flops lol! well i met Rob and we decided we were gunna go walk up 2 meet Blaze Zack David Dan Alex! well waited 4 bout 30mins thenw alked 2 da beach! well i got quite gd m8s wid Blaze not realli talked 2 her much so woz kl! Then wen we got there bout 8.30 people started 2 cum and got better.Chloe and her bf left coz Chloe had 2 b home early. I made up wid Dan well i think we have he woz drunk i think so hopefully we have but will c wen i next talk 2 him whether it woz coz he woz drunk or whether we r ok now! Um Rowena wanted 2 talk 2 me in private so yeh spoke 2 her managed 2 cheer her up! ok heres the bit i can not remember anything after that. I remember meetin sum random people and got given a coat but thats about it lol! well got stuff off my mind which woz gd and think nme and Dan r m8s and Sharron!!  well i cant still walk in a straight line god lol well blog 2moz after bmouth and seeing Luke!

Jun 10, 2005 at 17:24 o\clock

dnt know y but feel like suicide

by: devilish_princess

Mood: Fuked up life although its not

ok well start wid wednesday! went 2 the cinema with Luke. Well went 2 c star warz agen coz he hadnt seen it.  Well i dnt know y but i just didnt feel the same about him. I dnt no whther its bcoz of wot he told me about amy and he didnt love me anymore i dnt no but it just felt 2 me like we were gd m8s. Well then he wa;ked me home and i waited with him 4 him 2 get the bus as he didnt wanan lift which woz weird! Well it just realli woznt the same i meen woz just like being best m8s but i woz realli happy so i dnt no! anyway had a gd time. Well yesterday i got a txt from Amy hadnt heard from her 4 a while as her internet is broke . well she sed Luke broke his prommiss and smoked weed. I told her he wudnt keep it hes a stoner 4 god sake u cant just quit just like that well anyway she woznt veri happy and nor woz i!  Ok 2day 4 sum reason i just didnt seem rite i feel realli fuked up but im not im realli confused. Well rode 2 skool bcoz i wanted 2 try get this feeling out of me but it didnt! well had german then ruth went 2 buy fags. I dnt normally smoke and i got through 5 fags in a bloody row!! i dnt no wots wrong with me but sumthin isnt rite! I dnt no whther its stress of exams problems with Luke Problems with Dan and Sharron or family i just really dnt no! earlier i even had thoughts about suicide but i dnt no y! Thank god im going 2 a big beach party 2nite.  Although normally i cant wait i just feel like i cant b botherd with anything any more but im going bcoz im gunna force myself 2 bcoz i need 2 get this horrid feeling out of me its actually scaring me! plus well david sed he wud look after me so i can get drunk yay! Lukes not gunna b there which is bad :(:(:(:(:(:(! so yeh dnt no y i feel like this but its scaring me!

Jun 7, 2005 at 17:54 o\clock

Bad day

by: devilish_princess

Ok yesterday i woz 2 hurt and upset 2 write . So anyway um yeh had exams all day so had a 2 and a half hr brake so me and Ruth went 2 towerpark she got a bit 2 much 2 eat.  Anyway after went 2 Poole 2 meet the others phoned them they go meet u in 10mins i sed fine 20mins l8er i fone them agen o we will b there in 1 min so i woz just like ok. 1hr 30mins l8er Mike and Zack came i woz realli pissed off wid Loz and that bcoz they cud of atleast txt me 2 say sorri wnt b there till 5 not o we will b there in 1min. Well Mike gave me a big hug and a but his ginger bread man hehe. Well then Alyse turned up she sed Dan woz bein a prick tellin them not 2 cum meet us which realli pissed me off and started the tears off well Alyse made me laugh thnx hunn! Well got 2 da dolphin sore Dan and just burst out crying agen dunno y i just felt like crap.  Well didnt go in straight away stayed out with Mike had a chat which helped thnx Mike ur the gr8est. Just 2 know he cared made me smile.  So decided i woz gunna go swimming and not let dan and stuff get 2 me. I found out Blaze duz not h8 me after all Dan woz just being a twat. Ok well got out early had 2 ride home um got home 2 b shouted at got my mobile taken off me and other crap so made me feel worse.  Got msn bak after 20mins came up wid the excuse needed it 2 revise 4 Maths lol! Well wasnt so gd had a long chat with Luke which didnt go 2 well nearli leaded 2 us spliting. Basically He loves amy so much i know he cant help how he feels then nor can i or Amy. Amy has a bf plus she lives in Bristol so it wudnt work between them so he says. Well he tld me he duznt feel the same 4 me as he did b4  and he duz not love me.  That just hurt me inside and  broke my heart bcoz i love him. Well its all fuked up so i dnt no how long we r gunna last 4. Im not dumping him bcoz i love him 2 much and he sed he aint dumpin me so thats where we left it. ok well 2day had been a bit better me and Luke r still goin out but i know it will neva b the same.  2day hadmaths exam thats about it realli i strill feel hurt and emotional insed i dnt no y bcoz we r still goin out but i just have a horrid feeling emotional feelin which keeps makin me cry.  owell blog weneva xx

Jun 5, 2005 at 22:45 o\clock

Sunday!

by: devilish_princess

Mood: dnt realli know

Gd start 2 the day went 2 bmouth Alex go Alyse a new tent as he broke her old 1 so they decided 2 put it up in bmouth gardens lol so we all sat inside apart from Chris so there woz me Alyse Alex Erin Kasper Chloe and Simon all in a 1 man tent still room 4 a couple more if we were squashed in! we got funni looks well wot u wud realli expect wen woz heavy rain and then a random tent in bmouth gardens. Was quite amuzing. Well then Alex decided 2 put the tent down on me so i got wet meh lol! Then went 2 KFC Chris got me food hehe thnx Chris. Then i got the bus 2 Lukes house. I got prezzies hehehe Lukes parents got me a prezzie from there holiday!!  Well layed on his bed watchin him play his ps2 he aint interested in kissin he sed hugs r better umm well fair enough i guess. His mum took me home so been on msn 4 a while now.  Wel ive just found out Sharron and Rowena have made friends with sum1 who goes 2 my skool in my yr called Ross.  Ok i dnt know him that well he seems quite nice but hes m8s wid the people that take the piss outa me and who have made my life hell through the time i have been at that skool so i dnt know wot 2 think.  But not gunna get involved dnt realli wanna get 2 know him either mite sound rude but i wud rather not becoz his m8s have put me through hell and im not gunna 4get all that.  Anyway i dnt think me and Sharrons friendship will eva b the same well it wnt b.  I guess i just need 2 accept that i guess thats life but its so painful bcoz deep down i care about her 2 bits and yeh we r friends well i think we r but its not the same as it used 2 b.  Well atm i feel veri emotional lots of things realli but all longstorys so not gunna write it down here and plus dnt think i cud anyway. Well geog exam 2 moz o gr8 gunna fail everything o have science 2!! meh owell thats life! blog l8er xx

Jun 5, 2005 at 00:40 o\clock

Weekend

by: devilish_princess

ok well did nuthin realli all day. But then went out Luke took me 2 the fair with Chris my x Adam and Tom.  Well i woz kinda nervous 2 c Chris but god hes changed well his hair!! is now Long!!  well he woz a prat a total twat. Tom tld me he kept lookin at me and still likes me but i think it woz probs the looks of h8.  Well Adam is a kl guy i think hes the quiet 1 out of them all. But Adam likes kl music and a gr8 guy. Well gettin realli annoyed Amy is a kl person i like her its understandable thats shes jelous. I know now luke and her r just m8s but i still think hes acting diff 2 his normal self.  Maybe its becoz he told me he still loves amy? i realli dnt no.  Well atm me and Luke r ok he woz acting like himself 2day at the fair i just hope it stays like it. well if i have wenough money 2 get the bus 2moz im gunna go down bmouth but sorri every1 if im a bit stressy but that all depends whos there and if Dan is and if he is woz he says 2 me as in the past he can say sum nasty stuff personal stuff that hurt u deep down still have not 4gotten the day he kept sayin i woz fat.  Well blog soon xxx

Jun 4, 2005 at 00:00 o\clock

Guess it woz a gd day!

by: devilish_princess

ok woke up got a phone call from Alyse which woz kl cudnt speak 4 long but yeh woz kl 2 hear from her my petal!!  anyway went 2 poole 2 meet with Luke got the bus 2 Poole. I thought he woz actin a bit odd well more quiet than usual. Well thought it woz becoz he woz kinda stoned and been at his m8s the nite b4 so he sed it woz that. So i thought ok well i wud b the same and we went 2 the oceanariem. Woz kl Luke seemed more himself think probs coz its his kinda thing FISH!! lol!! well yeh woz kl normally find that kinda thing a bit borin but woz kl! Then walked around 4 a bit and got bak on the bus to go 2 his college 2 get sumit by which time it woz porin down wid rain. Well i woz kinda feelin realli strange this strange feelin inside.  I woz realli woz about me and Luke bcoz he didnt seem interested realli in me as he normally duz woz quiet moved away wen i tried 2 kiss him or woz just realli fast and moved away. I kept tellin myself dnt woz hes just realli tired like he kept sayin. Then guess who woz 2 phone!!!!!  AMY!!! his x gf! at 1st i gave her the matter of the delt ok she still likes him u cant help how u feel.  But he keeps talking about her she keeps tellin me how much she likes him and how jelous of me she is. Luke says he still loves her but she lives 2 far away and he also loves me 2. Wellwen she rang i kinda got realli realli pissed off bcoz as soon and she spoke 2 him he went all cheerful . I dnt think nuthin is goin on between them but then again i am starting 2 get a bit wrorried and dnt no wot 2 think. He says theres not and amy wnt effect s but just he woz acting strange 2day so i am gettin woz.  I love him as i have sed so many times on this blog hes the onli person that actually cares and if i loose him bcoz of amy i will b heart broken!!