Through Mine Eyes...Hush.

Sep 6, 2005 at 03:27 o\clock

Shoot For The Moon

by: demon_in_my_view

Mood: ...Whee.
Listening to: CCR - Have You Ever Seen The Rain

Wow. Reality Check. I was just downloading some music, and I stumbled across the song Daddy's Girl - Red Sovine. Me and my dad used to sing that when we went to a relatives house. I miss being 3 feet tall.

Wouldn't it be great, if no one ever got offended; And wouldn't it be great, to say what's really on your mind? I've always said, all the rules were made for bending. And If I let my hair down, would that be such a crime?

One more sleep. School's tomorrow. Well, not technically. We just go to get our schedules and stuff. I'm still looking forward to it. I'm sure that'll change quick enough.

Man, I don't know, I had an excellent summer, but I don't know what to compare it to. I mean, my summers, up until about 2 years ago, consisted of living at Grangeways. I don't think there's too much that can compare to that. I got a lot done this summer.. Saw Andrew the first and last day, and plenty in betweeen. Got some time in with Sab. Got my community service done, and loved it. Got horseback riding, and go-karting, and to wonderland a few times. Got up to Grangeways, which I'm hella thankful for.

So, I think I've had a pretty overall decent summer. Oh, and I learned today that an incubus is not only a sexual spirit, but a place for chicken eggs. Hoorah. Got Darlene's party coming up on Saturday. For those who don't know - Darlene is my disabled aunt. She's turning 40 on the 8th. Should be pretty cool cause a lot of the family is gonna be there. Haven't seen Shannon in a LONG time. Good stuff.

Man, I've been in a permanent good mood for the last couple days, a little off and on, but still relatively constant. I got to sit down and watch Andrew play the guitar for a couple hours and it had a really positive, calming effect. Thanks, babe. And again, to all that don't know - Love is fucking spectacular.

HA! I think I'm actually gonna get this entry in on the FIRST try, MUAHAHAHA the curse is brokened

I could really use, to lose my catholic conscience. I'm getting sick, of feeling guilty all the time. I won't abuse it, yeah, I've got the best intentions. A little bit of anarchy; but not the hurting kind.

-Cass

Sep 1, 2005 at 02:49 o\clock

Make Yourself At Home

by: demon_in_my_view

Mood: All These Thoughts Are Never Resting; You're Not Something I Deserve.
Listening to: Soul Asylum - Runaway Train

I freaking did it AGAIN. I closed the damn window while I was god damn updating. Don't ask why, but I seem to be cursed, no matter what, I can't get an entry in here on my first try, it dislikes me, I swear.

She wakes up in the morning in the same room that she's been in her whole life. And everything still looks the same; but the feeling of the room has changed in spite. She said, 'You don't know what it's like to be stuck in my mind.'

Okay, so Josh got me thinking about MORE sad stuff. Today, he found an almost dead birdy. Sad enough? NO! Appearantly, it's sibling was dead..*Sigh*..BABY birdies. That's horrible. Luckily, Josh is a nice dude and helped the other birdie and took it home and stuff and called the Humaine Society. Thank you Josh, for being nice to the birdie. I have plenty friends who would have shoved a cherry bomb up it's ass.. No kidding.

But, I did have a decent day. I love you Sab, you totally bring out the child in me. I mean, how many friends do you have that will not only WATCH you repeatedly thrust your crotch in the air, but do it as well? Gosh. My throat hurts 'cause me and Sab were singing at the top of our lungs to songs we couldn't hit the notes of, it was excellent. Listened to some old music, that we had forgottened the lyrics to, but they came back to us as the songs progressed..*Sings* You left me for a dollar 'cause you said I couldn't sing.. oh, and then there's always.. *Sings* Life after Lisa's not so bad at..*Fades away, realizing that's not the lyrics there.*

Oh, went into the school today to try and get a peek at my schedule. No Sir. Got to make sure my classes were all right, though. But see, the entire reason I went was to make sure I didn't have shitty teachers, and to prepare myself, if I did. There goes that. You watch, I'll show up, and my homeroom teacher will be Pickard or Silverberg. Would anyone be surprised? Me either.

I'm not sure why, but I'm really looking forward to school this year. Even moreso now that I've been there again. Does anyone else find a different scent in the air, the first day of school? I guess I can't get wait to be loaded with homework, and go to bed early, and wake up early, and drag my ass into school everyday. Oh my, wonderful. Sab's not gonna be there everyday. How am I gonna know what class I have in the afternoon? Oh no, Oh no. Stupid rotating schedules. We're gonna be seniors! Whoo. Eww, I now, officially, feel old. Oh well, I still can't wait. Only six more sleeps.

Well, that's about all for now. The time on this shit is so fucked up and I can't figure out how to fix it. It's really 8:46 on August 31'st.

She calls at seven thirty, wants to talk about her boyfriend one last time. Mom and Dad are fighting in the background; shattered glass cuts through red wine. I said 'I don't know that I'm right, but I know that you're wrong.'

- Cass

Aug 31, 2005 at 04:48 o\clock

What's the Dillio?

by: demon_in_my_view

Mood: ...Still An Emotional Rollercoaster, But I'm On My Way Up The Big Hill.
Listening to: Unwritten Law - Cailin

*Growls 245436327 times.* It did it to me again! But this time it's my fault, I was typing away and clicked on a link, by mistake, then when I hit back, it was gone. So, yeah. Here I go AGAIN.

Can I get your hand to write on; just a piece of lead to bite on? What am I to fly my kite on? Do you wanna flash a light on?

God damn. What a crazy awesome day. I can't seem to figure out why today was so spectacular. I mean, it was pretty much a typical day with Andrew, went to the mall for a bit, came back here, and just sat around. But, I dunno, I guess it has to do with what I was talking about yesterday, how ever day, love seems to be different. Or maybe it's the fact that we weren't busy with tv or playstation, I don't know, but it was great. Much thanks to my baby.

Wow, we're supposed to get rain tomorrow, and I can't fucking wait. I was reading through Andrew's philosophy page yesterday, about how thunderstorms weren't the same since he found out how it all works. I think that's what makes a thunderstorm a thunderstorm for me.. Just, the little things.. like air, how they come together to make things that are just, so much bigger. I don't know, different opinions, I guess. Looks like I'm going to be up all night waiting for my thunderstorm, and damn, if it doesn't come..I'm gonna be hella pissed.

*Sigh* Lactose Intolerance + Forgetfulness = Sick Cass. It's pathetic. I'm forever losing and forgetting things places, and I'm supposed to be taking 1-6 pills with everything I eat?! Yeah, fucking right. Worst part is, I've got to take these for the rest of my god damn life, or face the wrath of my backfiring stomach. Even worse part is: now that I've started on these pills, when I don't take them, my stomach gets more upset than it did before I even started taking them.

YES! It's fucking raining. No, no it's not, it's now stopped. Bullshit. Oh well, I'm going to be up all night either watching it or waiting for it, so I'll be up anyway.

Today, I re-picked up my fascination with guitars, thanks to Andrew dragging me into Walter's. However, it's not a fascination for myself with guitars, but other people. I swear to lord I could sit and watch someone play a guitar for-fucking-ever. But, I have to be alone with them or it bothers me, and I just can't concentrate. And it'd probably have to be soft playing, but I find it extremely relaxing.

Ha! I've determined what's with my good mood! HA! It's the music I was going through today, from like, when I was younger and stuff, and it's just brought back some pretty awesome memories, like how the entire three day drive to Newfoundland, I only had one cd, with 13 songs. That's baaad for a person who only listens to 12 secconds of a song. It's not the only thing that made my mood, but it's a contributor, you know.

Oh! If anyone can tell me who sings the song Sinking Simon, I'd greatly appreciate it, thanks.

In the water where the scent of my emotion, all the world can pass me by. Fly away on my zephyr, we're gonna live forever. Forever.

- Cass

Aug 30, 2005 at 05:58 o\clock

Innocence and Spankings.

by: demon_in_my_view

Mood: ...Emotional Rollercoaster.
Listening to: FM Static - Crazy Mary

Well, that sort of pissed me off. I had a big long thing typed up and SOMEHOW it got deleted. I spent the last 20 minutes trying to get it back. No fucking way. So, I'm kinda frustrated. Oh, by the way, if you can't read the smaller font, press CRTL + +.

When I am Queen, I will insist,  with perfect  scars upon my wrists, that everything you once held dear is taken away from you.

So, onto what's currently on my mind; dying children.
Am I the only one who worries about things they can't fix? *Sigh* I totally take everything I have for granted, and I never realize it 'til I think about it. I mean, I'm fucking sitting here, typing on my computer, with a Pepsi in my hand, while some child in ethiopia is sleeping in the damn mud, STARVING. It's really depressing. A lot of people claim it's the parent's fault that the children are dying, because they disregard birth control. True, but what about the girls that are raped, or don't have a choice? I assure you this happens more than you may think. And even if it IS the parent's fault, does that mean we can totally disregard the children that are struggling through life...because, hell! It's their parent's fault, right? And that makes it ALL okay.

My mind is always jumping. I just skipped over the starving kids to the fact that no one's ever truly happy. There's always something ripping at their subconscious, whether they know it or not. We claim to forget, and we do, but our subconscious doesn't. Everything is still stuck at the back of our minds. It's horrible to walk down the street and see a girl smiling, knowing that in the back of her head, there could be a throbbing memory of child abuse. Wow, that's actually really depressing. *Sigh*

Well, onto a better note, I guess. I've recently discovered love. You know, I thought I knew it before, and I think I do now. But every damn day, I'm proved wrong. It just keeps changing. It's so different every time I see him, and even when I don't. Either I'm weird, or this is normal. Either way, it's extremely confusing. I got called naive today, when I started talking about my love life to a friend of mine, it seems I'm innocent when it comes to love, because I'm letting myself fall head over heels, despite my past. *Shrugs* Lemme know what you think. It's struck my curiosity now; you know..how people see me.

"I hate feeling like I have to define myself within the parameters of a small finite box."  What a fucking  awesome line, I don't know why, but I love  it.  That's from Kayla's profile, by the way.

Oh well, I guess that's it for my mindless ramblings now, I'm off to think of more useless things that I can't solve.  

When I am Queen, I'll have my way; I'll make it drowning dolly day,
and all the tears that we have cried.. will suck back in our eyes.

-Cass