my very first blog entry ever
Mood: um, wnating to impress reader i guess?
Listening to: my computer making stupid noises when I press the wrong button
dont really know what to put now. Just got jealous cos my sister had a blog page and it came up on a google search. okay well, maybe i should write a bit about myself. You know what, I didnt actually realise the irony of the title of this blog til just now. If you are actually an avid blog fan then take heed of the title. I mean it literally, this really is a blog dedicated to me being confused... almost an unofficial support group for those people out there who dont really understand what the consequence is of their existance. Dont get me wrong, im no great philosopher but its like, some one is gonna be reading this now, well you are, and thinkin, this blogger talks sh*t (can you swear on this thing? Please will you write a foul mouthed comment to me and I'll know). Any way, thing is, Im only a blogger cos about five minutes ago I got jealous. Five minutes ago, I would of just been someone who hadn't done much today and wanted something to do. I don't really know where Im getting with this but I'll carry on cos ur still reading, and its like that with everything. I qualified this year as something really responsible. To qualify as something really responsible, I spent 14,000 on drink and well lets just say other things that kept my mind interested. In the three years I spent at uni, my life wouldve make my mother blush. No, that is an understatement. I truly believe that If 'a week in the life of me' had been brought to my mothers attention, she would be sat here right now, frozen to the spot, saturated in her own urine, just repeating "but sugar, you were such a good girl" comfort eating on peanut butter. But the people that were in my life at that time cemented my identity, the places I went, the things I did. AND I LOVED IT!! two months on, Im back home and today i signed on. This isnt me being depressed, I spend so much time analysing how im feeling rather than feeling it that I rarely reach a state of mind beyond neurosis! But anyway, my point has arrived, eventually.. I was a student and I acted like a student. Now Im a blogger, easily writing a paragraph of egotistical waffle, no longer just bored and irritating to my sister, and soon, hopefully, Im gonna be a professional. But thats the scary bit, cos Ill still be a blogger, and a student, and a jealous sister, and a bad speller and when it comes down to it, all I am is just the same kid I was in the playground, just with more titles and subsequent expectations placed upon me. I don't know, the unemployed mind wanders and the gyms closed and I think my internal dialogue is suffering for that. Im going now, to be taught how to use little smiley faces to brighten up my entries, not sure for whose benefit as im too egotistical to even consider that anyone would read this, but hey, these skills are imperative for the modern day blogger arent they?
