A TOUCH OF EASTERN PROMISE
Back in the days when Tunisia was the latest holiday destination, a friend and I pioneered a new hotel near Sousse, where, because of the novelty, locals and tourists regarded each other with curiosity and not a little suspicion. My partner soon succumbed to a disabling bout of Tunis tummy, so I decided to take a local bus into town to explore the souks and bazaars alone.
At the appointed time, I waited on the empty dusty roadside with a touch of trepidation. The bus, when it arrived, was a large, ancient single decker, with the glass removed from most of the windows, and very few seats. Inside, it resembled a tin of black sardines, being tightly packed with women uniformly clad from head to toe in black, and a hundred pair of dark eyes stared at me over their yashmaks in a most intimidating manner. Dispersed amongst the women were not only babies and children, but assorted small animals as well, chickens, kids, lambs, all I presumed on their way to market.
Having paid my fare, or possibly 10 times my fare, I was pressed against the side of the bus by the throng, and found myself unable to move, or even raise an arm to wipe my perspiring brow. Forget the romance of the East, these ladies were all large, solid, muscular, and unyielding, and reminiscent of brick outhouses.
After a short period of this close, multiple personal contact, I became aware that I was being deliberately groped, and none too gently. Unable, and possibly unwilling to turn away, I decided to try to impress, and stand up for my country, and do my race proud. When I looked into the eyes of the nearest women, they looked demurely away, and I wondered which of them I was impressing. The groping continued until we arrived at the terminus. I decided to stay put until the locals had disembarked, and my knowledge of human nature told me that whoever had been touching me so fiercely would be unable to resist looking back as they departed.
I was correct in my assumption, for as it moved away, a young goat turned and gave me a very knowing look. I had been gobbled by a goat.
