A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS PRESENT
There is a recurring pattern to my life, which is sometimes almost too much to bear, and this is one of those times. Once again, I feel that I have been kicked in the teeth by someone I have devoted much time and emotion in, stabbed in the back by someone I trusted, and this on the day of goodwill to all men.
Some describe me as a loner, but that is not so. By nature and inclination, I am an extremely friendly man, and those who accept my friendship are offered total commitment and complete loyalty, while little or nothing is asked in return. But there comes a time when that friendship is abused and taken advantage of, or becomes surplus to requirements, leaving me devastated, but ever richer in experience.
I have known Glenn (47) for over 16 years, first as a work colleague and a neighbour, and latterly as a friend. For the last 5 or 6 years, Glenn has been on a downhill slope, abandoning his wife and 4 children, living in a grotty bedsit. His marriage to another woman with 2 children lasted less than a year, but cost him his job, and he ended up on sickness benefit, living at home with his aged father. Glenn leaves a trail of destruction behind him Very many people have tried to help him; His father, Danny the Union man, bosses at his place of work, doctors, psychiatrists, solicitors, counsellors, policemen, court officials, employment officers etc, etc. but all to no avail, and he is now addicted to the happy pills.
During this time, I have never turned my back on him, and my home has been open to him 24/7. I have spent many long hours talking him out of his depressions, dissuaded him from suicide, given up my bed for him when necessary, shared my food with him, cooked him countless meals, bought him many take-aways, made him thousands of cups of tea. My home, even my computer, was his to use; even his children had free use of my computer. I was ALWAYS here for him, and never lost patience, giving him unlimited time, emotion, concern, and in a sense, love.
For the last year or so, while living with is father and stepmother, he has felt uncomfortable there, and spent many evenings at my place, and I would always run him home late at night, no matter how ill I felt. Yes, I often offered him advice, tried to motivate him and cheer him up, but only when asked for, or when he was making things even worse for himself, (for all his problems are self-inflicted). The last time I saw him, he was again very depressed, because so many people were giving him conflicting advice, and he didn’t know what to do. My advice was that he should sit down and think just what HE wanted to do, and then do it. Most of the advice I have given Glenn was sound, sensible advice born of experience, but rarely taken notice of. People rarely take advice, and end up doing things the hard way, but that is in the nature of people, and to be expected.
When, a couple of months ago, I told Glenn that I would be staying home this Christmas, he immediately said he would be up, and I bought food accordingly. A few days before Christmas, I tried to confirm that he would becoming, and he was a bit evasive, saying that he would stay with his dad for lunch, but would be up later.
Knowing Glenn, I cooked him a meal anyway, and had bought him the Christmas present he wanted, but he never turned up. I sent him an e-mail asking what was wrong, and got a very snappy, unfriendly answer, in which he said he called, but I was out. That was not true, and my car was outside the flat all day, which he would have seen had he come.
It would seem that as his dad has now bought him a car, he no longer has need of me or my cups of tea. Merry Christmas.
