Mood: okay
Listening to: nothing...
Yes, I have a new blog. Finally, I can do something FUN with the template. Not that blogigo isn't nice, but I can't figure out how to change the template the way I want it to be. Too bad. Anyways, the link:
http://lessemotion.blogspot.com/
Check it out, k? It's kinda nice. And I even have a cbox. :D
Mood: foolishly grinning like a chershire cat =D
Listening to: wonderful sound of my cpu running circles in my room
...thanks for your comment. Really helps to know that there're people out there who actually read this blog. Anyway, I'd finish typing like about a minute ago, but lost everything coz I played around with the cute little boxes that exist on this page in which I'm typing now. I think only people with blogigo accounts know what I mean.
Anyway, since I don't feel like typing it all over again, I'll keep it short. No, it's not because of the power imbalance fear or anything. It's more, I guess, my own fear of commitment. After the many times that he'd told me that he likes me, today was the first time I took the initiative to say that I like him too. Well. May not seem like much to you, but it's a great deal to me. Oh, and another milestone was crossed. Not telling you what that's about, though. XP
Hmm. I guess it all boils down to trusting him, trusting God and trusting fate. Things will occur as they will occur, and nothing I do will stop it, or change it or do anything to it. So...*leaning comfortably into the chair* Do your worst, Life. I can handle anything you throw at me.
Countdown to Promos: 7 days
I am so dead.
Mood: okay. need to study.
...and yeah. I've been having this internal conflict for quite a while now, as to whether I really like him back, as in really, really like him back. And then, on monday, he gave me it. As in a ring. Yeah, yeah, I know, many couples get rings too, to signify their love and all, but it really pressurized me as to whether I really like him back, coz he seems to really like me, despite all my flaws. And I have many many flaws, I assure you. And being a perfectionist, I hate myself. But that's beside the point.
The point is, I was arguing with myself day in and day out, and then yesterday happened. He fainted. OmG! Panic literally swamped me, and I couldn't stop trembling, couldn't stop thinking, omg. omg. Why is this happening? What happened? How is he? Where is he? I want to see him, to see if he's okay. I don't want anything to happen to him. I want him to be okay. I want him to be okay. In that instant, I prayed to God, God, if you could possibly let him be okay, let him be all right and safe and fine and still cheerful and happy and be able to enjoy life, I'll go vegetarian every Tuesday, since yesterday was Tuesday.
Luckily, he's fine. No dengue, heart results are fine. The feeling of relief was too strong, then.
I think that was what really decided me. Just like that time in the LTC camp, I couldn't be there for him when he needed me the most. Not that I could do much, but I wanted to do something, anything, that can help him. >.< I couldn't even go to the hospital, coz his parents were with him. Which is a good thing, really. Even though I still wish that I could be there.
Moving on, I guess I've finally decided to stop doubting myself (though I wonder if I can ever stop doubting him). I do like him, though I can't bring myself to say the other four-letter word (and don't think dirty, coz the word starts with l). Oh, and if anyone ever tells you that women (or girls, take your pick) think too much, they're right.
Mood: okay. sianz. miss him. bah.
Listening to: the aircon in school library at full blast.
...and I really shouldn't be here. >.< Just went to esther's blog, and found it really, really, really cute! Just like how air-stir is. 
Then I saw her link to yeanyang's blog, and then I went like, what! yy has a blog! omg! this i gotta see, and click goes the mouse.
Turns out that he has this pretty cool blog design, with the last entry dated at august 2. Still, it is pretty cool. Wanna design something as cool too. >.< Can't remember the last time I designed anything. Or even wrote anything. AAHHH! My left brain is deserting me! Come back here! ~runs off after left brain~
Anyways, I was just thinking. I haven't told him that I have a blog. But then, I remember him telling me that his eyes got spoilt because of the com. >.< Don't want to make his eyesight even worst. >.<
Bah. XinXian just left. And not for home. Bah. Will continue once I reach home.
Mood: tired....
Listening to: If We Hold On Together by Diana Ross
Was randomly surfing the net and came across the official Erementer Gerad website. If you recall (which you probably don't) I was rambling about this newest anime that looked really interesting in the earlier part of this year. Well, it's currently showing up till ep. 24. Of course, evalpowar.com hasn't subbed up to there yet. I only have up to ep. 21 downloaded.
But that's not the main point. The thing is, I just saw these super kawaaaiiiii mini figurines! Okay, okay, it's only a photo of the figurines, but still, they're super kawaii. :) Can't seem to upload the file, coz it's too big. Well, then click below for the official site:
http://www.erementar-gerad.com/
Had three tests today: lit, econs, math. Actually, the lit 'test' was more like a 'quotation quiz' which had no serious implications for our promos results. *phew* Lucky for me...
Lost 9 marks in the math test out of 25. *sigh* There goes my 'A' again...But can't really lament it too much. I really didn't know how to do the question, so...yeah. Wadever.
The drq test for econs turned out to be a question from the tys which they told us, in our tutorial, to do. Bah. I didn't know how to do it before the test, and after the test, I still don't know how to do it. What's the point, really?
Oh yeah, and I got back the WR for PW. Mrs. Gan said that we're almost done, only now we need to edit, and cut out the stuff we don't need, coz we exceeded by 2000+ words. >.<
Gotta go. Head hurts. Mum is making mooncakes. Too tired to help her.
Mood: pensive
Listening to: Come What May - Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman
That's my msn nick for now. Coz I'm really confused as to whether I like him or not. But one thing's for sure, I don't want to let him go. Really selfish, right? I know. He's a really nice guy and all, and we've been together for like a month and 6 days. (hey, I'm a girl. We take notice of such stuff, okay?) So, he says that he likes me before. Quite a few times. But I've never said that I like him back, and he doesn't push me for it. Hmm.
I don't know. I knew I shouldn't have agreed go stead so quickly. And for the record, I was thinking of just being normal friends first before we progress, so to speak. But then, my hand was already being held by his. It didn't seem right to say that I just want to be friends. *shrug*
I don't regret my decision, though I think that we might have gone too fast along this road. We care too much about each other. We are so very afraid of hurting the other party. We watch our actions, and words very carefully. That's why, I have this feeling that we don't really know that much about each other. Maybe I'm too senstive. I do know that I should stop worrying about this and worry about my exams instead, but ... I don't know.
I feel as if I was juggled in a washing machine, then wrung dry and hung up in the sun. >.<
Bah. Finally got home from school. Lessons ended early, but I wanted to do some work, so I stayed back with karwai, xinxian and esther. Actually, esther wanted to leave, and xinxian too, but later xinxian changed her mind and esther reluctantly also came along.
Did some real work, like maybe four or five math questions in like 2 hours. That's not including the amount of time we spent to settle down and stop talking crap. Or gossip, for that matter. This shows that I'm really getting math-rusty, and this calls for MORE practice. *groan* But I really want to take that s paper, which means I must work doubly hard.
I can smell dinner from my room, which means that it's almost ready. Good. Oh, and speaking of food, emily is on a diet. Again. Can't blame her, though, coz I'm kinda on a diet too. :P But she's like 46 already, and aiming for 45. I'm like, 52 aiming for 50. She is soooooo light. Sooooo not fair. XP
Gotta go.
Mood: bah...dunno
Listening to: mr. siah's bland voice.
Afternoon. Finally. Couldn't wait for the day to pass. Finally finished the pw written report, which was practically brain-draining. But, it was kind of fun when I was doing the contents page with karwai, coz we kept saying lame stuff to each other, and it got lamer and lamer until we finally finished the whole thing. Grand total count of the number of words? 5200+. Okay. At last count it was 5127, but before the biblio was added in. Now, it's usually good to have a lot of words, but in our case, it was TOO many. Bah. But at least now I don't have to look at it anymore. It'll be Mrs. Gan's headache, not mine. :P For a few days, at least.
Hmm. Didn't get to have lunch with him. Not that I was planning to have lunch in the first place, but I didn't get spend his two hour break with him, coz he had something on. A meeting with teachers, I think. I don't really know, but I do know one thing. I felt just a tinsy bit of disappointment. Okay, okay. Maybe more than just a tinsy little bit. But, I don't know. I thought I could concentrate on my work without thinking of him, because, well, I thought I had grown numb, but nooooo, I still think of him. BUT, one consolation is that I can really stop thinking about him for maybe, 10, 15 min? That's an improvement, anyhow.
Am in gp now. Supposed to be working on the oral presentation due thursday, but don't really feel like it. Plus Mr. Siah's so slack, I can't be bothered. Another reason would be that I don't really care about gp that much anyway. I don't think we'll pass just because we did an oral presentation well, right? It doesn't help our command of the language, or understanding it. Bah.
Really feel like writing something, and I got an idea from Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, who's like around my age but published lots of books already. The idea in question is to write about somebody who is a writer. But set in a fantastical world, of course, unlike hers, which is set in the real world, only with fantastical additions like vampires and stuff. Yeah.
Speaking of Amelia Atwater-Rhodes (her name is reeally hard to type), I wanted to borrow something of hers to read. Coz the excerpt was really nice. I can see why her books are of the young people fiction category, unlike Mercedes Lackey, who hovers between young people and adult fiction.
Bah. Gotta go. Later.
Mood: pensive - my ankle doesn't hurt, but it's swollen. That's bad, rite?
Listening to: it's freaking 4.30 in the morning. I can't blast music no matter how much I want to. :(
Was supposed to wake up at 2.30 to rush the pw, but it didn't work out, coz I plonked right back onto my bed after switching off the damn alarm clock. It's waaaay too loud, for god's sake. But that's its life-long purpose, to BE loud, so, yeah. stupid alarm clock.
I'm supposed to be working on the written report now, but I can't find the correct way of quoting somebody in the wr itself, and how to write the biblio. That's equals to losing part 1 of the wr lecture notes. Bah.
I noticed that my ankle has this tendency to swell waaaaay out of proportions, even when I'm not doing anything but sitting. My bro tells me that it's because it's BELOW my heart level, hence the blood gets to flow DOWN to the injured area, and since it is injured, the blood is able to flow out of the vessel and into the injured area (capillaries), and hence, it gets swollen. The only cure, it seems, is to eat that stupid medicine given by the stupid doctor (refer to previous entry), and to raise my leg above heart level. That would entail lying down. Which means sick bay. Nah. Not worth the trip. I don't exactly trust the 'first aiders' in school anyway. Bah.
Well. Off to work again. It really is kinda fun to blog. Right before I get bored with it, that is.
Mood: cheerful coz the sun's cheery :D
Listening to: suteki
...and lazy me. >.< Okay, not really. I did do some work while my mum was still around the house, but now that she's gone to work, here I am, blogging away. *sigh*
Tried to edit the main pic for me old site, but I got tired of it. >.< It didn't really work out the way I wanted it to, so I got tired of it. :P Ended up reading fanfics. Was looking for some about Hitsugaya Toshirou and Hinamori Momo (THE best couple in Bleach, imo), but there really isn't any super good ones out there. If only I wasn't so busy with school and my own writing, I would write some. That's an excuse, of course, but still a valid excuse all the same.
Ended up with this site that had like 'The best fanfic collection' kinda site, and there was a LOT of Eriol and Tomoyo from CCS. And since that was one of my fav couplings when I was watching the show, I thought I'd read some. Ended up reading lots for like 5 hours or something. >.<
Oh, and I spent the morning at the polyclinic. Remind me never to go back there again. EVER. The queue was tremendously LONG. And the doctor was tremendously STUPID. Can't even read the x-ray that I spent 3 hours waiting for (including registration time, waiting to see that stupid doctor, then actually seeing him for less than five min, and then limped downstairs to wait my turn for the x-ray itself, waiting for the x-ray to be ready, limping back upstairs to wait AGAIN to see the doc). He ended up having to ask the doctor from next door to help him. Oh, and he somehow on-ed the wrong switch (for the heating coil for water) while looking for the switch for the x-ray light thingie. STUPID doctor. Bah.
Ended up that there's nothing wrong with my ankle. Just a sprain. Bah. Wasted my morning. But it really hurt, coz I had to limp from my home to the polyclinic, then I had to limp from the polyclinic back home. Took like half an hour instead of the usual 15 min. Times that by 2, and throw a good bit of pain. OUCH.
Still, the medicine from the doc is really good. My ankle doesn't hurt quite as much anymore, and I can walk (almost normally) again. *cheers*
Well. That's that. Gotta go back to boring pw and econs and maths and eng lit. The only thing I can't study is gp. Coz there's NOTHING to study. >.< That's bad.
~end ramble
Mood: ponderingly painfully thoughtful :p
Listening to: bleach - asterisk
Well, I'll admit one thing. It's a lot less of a hassle if I blog here than to blog on my own site, even though I have the advantage of having control over the design. Me being a design freak and all. :P
Oh, are you wondering about the 'owww' above? That's for hurting my ankle while falling down the stairs in school. >.< No worries, it wasn't from the top flight of stairs. And no, I don't have bruises, nor cuts, nor abrasions, just a very sore ankle that the doc says 'might' be fractured, or cracked or something, for it to hurt this much.
Hmm. It's really kinda hard to blog freely, especially when I think of all the people I know who might be reading this. But I have to got to get this off my chest, so here goes:
I wish he were here.
No, he does not refer to the 'he' in May. The 'he' here was someone I got to know in ltc in august. He's a nice guy. A too-nice-to-be-true kinda guy. And no, I'm not going to fill in all the juicy details of the past one month and three days. (heck, I really do care about this relationship thingie) But all you guys out there who actually bother to read this can look forward to 'stuff' as we progress down the future path...
Hmm...I think I won't be blogging over the other side, after all. Really too much of a hassle. But, since I'll be home-ridden for the next couple of days, and stuck at the com doing real school stuff like projectwork, I'll probably be also implementing the newest brainwave I have regarding a website design. It'll probably just keep all my stories and poetry that I am actually confident of displaying to the world wide web. (notice my extreme disconfidence in self, so if you actually see anything, it means that the sky has fallen on my head and made me crazy).
I think the pain in my ankle also affected my head somewhat...
Mood: i dunno...
It's been, what, 4 months since I last updated? Hmm. Guess I really got tired of telling the world about my stupid life. :( Well, anyways, I'll be shifting back to my old blog instead of this, mainly because I can't figure out how to change anything here. :P Can't be bothered to struggle with it, either. I'll still post here occasionally, when I feel like it, but it'll all be mainly over the other side.
url: http://www.freewebs.com/kerri_chan/
Look out for uploads of my work from the past few months. ;)
