Update about my life...
Mood: cheerful
Listening to: tong hua - it's a good enough distraction for the left side of my brain
...just so that people out there bored enough to be reading this know that I'm alive. :P
Let's see... I was rejected for the creative writing seminar, but Lionel was accepted. Let's just sum up my feelings about that as disappointment, disbelief, fury, anger, despair, suicidal and finally uncaring. Disappointment because I didn't get in, disbelief coz Lionel got in though he didn't put much effort into the portfolio, fury and anger because he was complaining about the high cost of 150. It was almost as if he was mocking me. Arrgh! Despair and suicidal coz I really placed a lot of emphasis on this, and was even looking forward to it, and finally uncaring, because I knew I had more important and immediate things to take care of, primarily my schoolwork, the common tests, and the critting workshop. *sigh*
I'm just glad I'm finally over all of those. Though it would have been better if someone had been there to comfort me in my time of despair. But I wasn't willing to express it in front of karwai and the rest, because I knew if I did, I would be repeating myself over and over again about how not fair and why it happened. So I bottled it all it and tried to ignore it. Not that it really worked, because Lionel just seemed to be hanging around at every turn and mocking me. *sigh*
My brother suggested going to Ms. Victor and asked her what went wrong, and asked if she could help me improve, but I'm not so sure. The piting looks she threw me everytime our eyes meet make me squirm. Well, it's just that I'm okay with pity when I'm wallowing in despair, but after I've dealt with that part, everyone can just stop with the piting looks. I'm not a flower raised in a hothouse that would wilt the minute I stand in the hot sun. Please. Stop the piting looks. I can pity myself quite enough, thank you very much.
Moving on, I'm kinda late for the critting deadline. Well, not late yet, but way too close for my comfort. So I have lots of things to do today, and can't really afford to relax. Not that I really mind. The DISC personality test really helped me a lot, by boosting my confidence that what I perceive myself to be is not really very weird. So I'm not all that different from people around me after all. It's really quite comforting when you've been like me, doubting my sanity and normalcy.
Back to my favourite thing: Orderliness. Which means to finish all my assigned work. Paradise! (yah, right) <-- supposed to be ironic, in case you can't see it. :P
