crazed and writing

Sep 30, 2005 at 07:57 o\clock

me new blog...

Mood: okay
Listening to: nothing...

Yes, I have a new blog. Finally, I can do something FUN with the template. Not that blogigo isn't nice, but I can't figure out how to change the template the way I want it to be. Too bad. Anyways, the link:


Check it out, k? It's kinda nice. And I even have a cbox. :D

Sep 22, 2005 at 15:24 o\clock

Dear pendulum...

Mood: foolishly grinning like a chershire cat =D
Listening to: wonderful sound of my cpu running circles in my room

...thanks for your comment. Really helps to know that there're people out there who actually read this blog. Anyway, I'd finish typing like about a minute ago, but lost everything coz I played around with the cute little boxes that exist on this page in which I'm typing now. I think only people with blogigo accounts know what I mean.

Anyway, since I don't feel like typing it all over again, I'll keep it short. No, it's not because of the power imbalance fear or anything. It's more, I guess, my own fear of commitment. After the many times that he'd told me that he likes me, today was the first time I took the initiative to say that I like him too. Well. May not seem like much to you, but it's a great deal to me. Oh, and another milestone was crossed. Not telling you what that's about, though. XP

Hmm. I guess it all boils down to trusting him, trusting God and trusting fate. Things will occur as they will occur, and nothing I do will stop it, or change it or do anything to it. So...*leaning comfortably into the chair* Do your worst, Life. I can handle anything you throw at me.

Countdown to Promos: 7 days

I am so dead.

Sep 21, 2005 at 18:06 o\clock


Mood: okay. need to study.

...and yeah. I've been having this internal conflict for quite a while now, as to whether I really like him back, as in really, really like him back. And then, on monday, he gave me it. As in a ring. Yeah, yeah, I know, many couples get rings too, to signify their love and all, but it really pressurized me as to whether I really like him back, coz he seems to really like me, despite all my flaws. And I have many many flaws, I assure you. And being a perfectionist, I hate myself. But that's beside the point.

The point is, I was arguing with myself day in and day out, and then yesterday happened. He fainted. OmG! Panic literally swamped me, and I couldn't stop trembling, couldn't stop thinking, omg. omg. Why is this happening? What happened? How is he? Where is he? I want to see him, to see if he's okay. I don't want anything to happen to him. I want him to be okay. I want him to be okay. In that instant, I prayed to God, God, if you could possibly let him be okay, let him be all right and safe and fine and still cheerful and happy and be able to enjoy life, I'll go vegetarian every Tuesday, since yesterday was Tuesday.

Luckily, he's fine. No dengue, heart results are fine. The feeling of relief was too strong, then.

I think that was what really decided me. Just like that time in the LTC camp, I couldn't be there for him when he needed me the most. Not that I could do much, but I wanted to do something, anything, that can help him. >.< I couldn't even go to the hospital, coz his parents were with him. Which is a good thing, really. Even though I still wish that I could be there.

Moving on, I guess I've finally decided to stop doubting myself (though I wonder if I can ever stop doubting him). I do like him, though I can't bring myself to say the other four-letter word (and don't think dirty, coz the word starts with l). Oh, and if anyone ever tells you that women (or girls, take your pick) think too much, they're right.

Sep 21, 2005 at 15:22 o\clock

8 more days to Promos...

Mood: okay. sianz. miss him. bah.
Listening to: the aircon in school library at full blast.

...and I really shouldn't be here. >.< Just went to esther's blog, and found it really, really, really cute! Just like how air-stir is.   Then I saw her link to yeanyang's blog, and then I went like, what! yy has a blog! omg! this i gotta see, and click goes the mouse.

Turns out that he has this pretty cool blog design, with the last entry dated at august 2. Still, it is pretty cool. Wanna design something as cool too. >.< Can't remember the last time I designed anything. Or even wrote anything. AAHHH! My left brain is deserting me! Come back here! ~runs off after left brain~

Anyways, I was just thinking. I haven't told him that I have a blog. But then, I remember him telling me that his eyes got spoilt because of the com. >.< Don't want to make his eyesight even worst. >.<

Bah. XinXian just left. And not for home. Bah. Will continue once I reach home.

Sep 14, 2005 at 13:14 o\clock

Erementar Gerad...

Mood: tired....
Listening to: If We Hold On Together by Diana Ross

Was randomly surfing the net and came across the official Erementer Gerad website. If you recall (which you probably don't) I was rambling about this newest anime that looked really interesting in the earlier part of this year. Well, it's currently showing up till ep. 24. Of course, hasn't subbed up to there yet. I only have up to ep. 21 downloaded.

But that's not the main point. The thing is, I just saw these super kawaaaiiiii mini figurines! Okay, okay, it's only a photo of the figurines, but still, they're super kawaii. :) Can't seem to upload the file, coz it's too big. Well, then click below for the official site:

Had three tests today: lit, econs, math. Actually, the lit 'test' was more like a 'quotation quiz' which had no serious implications for our promos results. *phew* Lucky for me...

Lost 9 marks in the math test out of 25. *sigh* There goes my 'A' again...But can't really lament it too much. I really didn't know how to do the question, so...yeah. Wadever.

The drq test for econs turned out to be a question from the tys which they told us, in our tutorial, to do. Bah. I didn't know how to do it before the test, and after the test, I still don't know how to do it. What's the point, really?

Oh yeah, and I got back the WR for PW. Mrs. Gan said that we're almost done, only now we need to edit, and cut out the stuff we don't need, coz we exceeded by 2000+ words. >.<

Gotta go. Head hurts. Mum is making mooncakes. Too tired to help her.