future-thoughts

How far can you look forward
Without pain

How far can you look back
Without pain

How deep within can you look
Without pain

How much can you see around you
Without pain

Look to God’s window
For no pain

It gives meaning
Where there seems to be none

It gives hope
Where hopes are dashed

It makes us want to live
Although we should really want to die

Through God’s window
It takes the pain away

You could be happy and i won't know
But you weren't happy the day i watched you go.

And all the things that i wish i had not said,
Are played in loops till it's madness in my head.


is it too late to remind you how we were?
But not our last days of silent screaming blur.

Most of what i remember makes me sure
I should've stopped you from walking out the door.
[You Could Be Happy lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]


You could be happy i hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything i own, smells of you
and for the tiniest moment it's all not true.

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think just do

More than anything i want to see you girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

I manage to keep myself out of trouble most of the time.  I manages to do the right thing and say the right things and be the correct kind of person for the situation.  And then sometimes I don't so it all so well.  I mess up, I break the rules, I generally make a mess of things. 

 

Nothing Major.

 

The Usual suspects.

 

But still, these things that I have done, and no doubt will continue to do, well they keep me human you know.  They keep me alive, alive to the fact that when I'm not doing that which is familiar, I may just learn something new.  Even if that something new is Don't Do That Again.

 

It keeps me sane, it makes me laugh.  And sometimes it makes me cry.  We all, I know we do, have our off-days, our down days, the blue days, the don't wanna get out of bed days.  And then sometimes we do.  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes I wanna fly.

 

Somedays not.  But I know, I can only be as large as i am small, only has happy as the tears I care to shed.  In short, I give myself a break.  I surrender to the infinite.

 

I say THANK YOU for making me human, for being a fragile and small and large and strong and for my ultimate death and acceptance that life is fleeting and random, a play a game of chance.  A way to embrace this life and never look back.

 

Thank you, thank you divine for the gifts of my life.!  And thank you for letting me break the rules and be real. 

Life is kind, what an amazing week so far, and what energy there is to share!!! Thank you thank you thank you!

Ever get the feeling you're connected to everything???

It's been a good while since I have taken the time out to acknowledge just how grateful I am for the things that I have.  I don't mean physical things, I mean the gifts of spirit and the talents that I have been blessed with.  The world is really there for me to do with as I wish.  I can create whatever I choose and for that I am so grateful.  The week ahead will be full of challenges again and I have no idea what will occur but I am super excited.  I am also excited to share our exhibition from Saturday with the world - it was an exciting and awesome event, one of those 'earth moments' I know I'll remember it always.  It wasn't a big event, but the fact that we managed to create something and let the magic happen, well that is all the reward I needed.  It was worth it and we put ourselves out there.  And that is what is important. 

 

And next week we're gonna do it all over again... life is kind, that you creator, I am blessed and in awe of the majesty of the beautiful world we live in.