Why am I doing this?
Why am I doing this? Because if I don't I'll explode. This is not a happy carefree blog. This is a blog to express depression, unhappiness and dispair. Sorry So three years ago I had to authorize the doctors to remove my father from life support, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do... until I had to do the same thing for my mother two weeks ago. You know how on television people are taken off life support and they die a peaceful, quick painless death? Yeah, that is not true... people who are taken off a respirator make a sound like they are drowning, they usually don't have the strenght to cough so fluid that is in thier lungs comes up and out of thier mouths. It is not quick, my mother suffered for 72 hours. Even though it was her wish to be taken off the respirator, I feel like the decision was not an informed one. Mom died broke, so I had to go into debt for her funeral. Did you know that they won't bury your loved one until you pay for the service in full? Yeah, that's special. I am in debt up to my eyeballs and the one person I depended on most for emotional support is gone. My rent is past due, I have bills out the wahzoo and I am unhappy. Mom said don't cry, so I tried not to, but yesterday was a wek since her funeral and I cried like I have never cried before. For those who sau "get over it" that is eaiser said then done. I wish it was that easy. I miss my mom, even though I am an adult I feel like I have been orphanged. Life right now just sucks....
