Thank you
1st off I want to say thank you to the 2 people that offered me encouragement. It well appreciated. I am so happy to know that I am not alone. I realize that it will take time to get over the death of my parents, it's just not easy (daddy said never say anything is too hard). So thank you both. Today was better I did not cry when I closed mom's overdrawn bank account, or when I got the three day notice on my door for past due rent. I know stop whinning. I actually was able to start calling people to say thank you for the letters and cards... I've gone back to work, which keeps my mind busy and my children (3 teenagers) have gone back to normal so I have lots of time to mother... I think about my mother and what a wonderful woman she was. How she was always willing to share what she had and would do anything for her children. Mother raised us alone and we didn't have much, but she did teach us to share what little we did have and to try and look after each other. At mom's funeral I said her I did not know why God took her but I am sure they needed her in heaven more then I needed her on earth. That is not true, nobody needs her more then I do. I have to admit I am mad, mad that she had to die, made that she had to suffer, mad that I prayed everyday and nothing happened, mad that I continue to pray and nothing is happening. Mom would be mad that I wrote that, she say God don't owe you nothing and prayer is all you got. That some times God answers your prayers and the answer is "no". It seems like lately God only says no to me, mircles are not my thing. I don't get those. I have actaully asked God for a sign, a sign that my mother did not die in vain, that there was a reason for what she went through. I' m still waiting... Anyway my take on life has not changed. I still think it sucks. I think that is why I selected a lemon for my blog. Life has given me lemons and I am trying to make lemonade.
