http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time en xxsluggerxx xxsluggerxx Sun, 10 Jun 2007 18:20:00 +0200 daily 1 hah. i told my boyfriend to fuck off. so he did... damn. all i keep making are mistakes recently. Please kill me, before i get like her. Sun, 10 Jun 2007 18:20:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/Fuck./5538/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/Fuck./5538/ so now, after a while, urgh everythings , well sooo much has changed , ok so i havent written in this thing scince january,   i dunno, weve spent loads of time together recently, and just taken it out on eachother. but hopefully were fine now but arghh i dunno lol. i htink we have gone through quite alot, a jelous(well, what i consider as some type of jelousy) ex girlfriend who wont leave him alone, sending him texts, phoning him in the early hours of the morning, blargh i dunno. But her latest stunt  seemed pretty interesting, aparently shes pregnant, with his child, aparently 7-8months pregnant. i dunno. all i can hope and prey is that shes not. aparently  shes a compuslve deluded, psycotic weirdo.  but hey. who would lie about something like that? ive lost one of my best friends as well from my relationship with j , i dunno she had this briliant idea of getting revenge (revenge from absoloutly nothing may i add) and phoning the police saying  he basically raped me..... Fri, 25 May 2007 22:09:22 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/things-keep-changing/5536/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/things-keep-changing/5536/ hehe well tonight i took out j for a meal. its his birthday soon and becuase i dont have much money and i had been saving up i took him out for a meal. it was really nice just the to of us, ok it was in a fairly crowded resturant but it was cool all the same =] perfect end yto a perfect weekend together. friday we went for a walk down the shoreline and then grabbed a takeaway afterwards and then sat down and watched a few episodes of friends. so taht was great then saturday we went to the saints vs queens park ranger's game. it was sooo coool. travelling up their in a coach, the match itself. that was really coool. 2-0 to saints! coach ride back was cool too. again that night we grabbed a pizza and layed down on the bed   sunday, we got up and went to winchester. that was fun, we got a pastry from the pattisery and walked along the river. it was really nice too.  the whole weekend has been so great. ! Sun, 21 Jan 2007 22:01:41 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/what-a-perfect-weekend/5535/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/what-a-perfect-weekend/5535/ Wow my life has changed sooo dramatically over the past 3 months, im in love. proper and for real this time.  ive met someone, and we instantly clicked. Im not quite sure how it all happend , it just did. And for the first time in my life, someone liked me. ME- for myself, i wasnt trying to be  fake or act like anyone else, he saw me as   i was.  Ironically when i first met him and we started talking i promised that i wouldnt start to like him in that way, for awkward reasons, We are in a band togehter now. So that was why. he had been in the band about 3 weeks maybe a month.   And we were in a studio recoring our ep. we had been laughing and joking as he had with everyone, but somehow  me and him just seemed to click more. it was when he was in the drum booth and we were making funny faces toeachother was when me and him kinda realised that maybe there was something there. Probably thought at the same time reaally. i just remember looking at him and thinking, "i think i... Fri, 12 Jan 2007 00:56:52 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/happy-at-last/5534/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/happy-at-last/5534/ Mon, 23 Oct 2006 02:17:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/what-a-mess/5533/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/what-a-mess/5533/ Trying to ignore him really isnt working... everytime im on msn, i look and wait for him to come online, but i keep forgetting he wont... becusse i delted him, my own silly fault really but even so,   urghh.   i really do miss him still i felt crap today, and nearly texted him like i would have. and then i felt like i had really lost something in my life.   Wed, 18 Oct 2006 23:49:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/why/5532/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/why/5532/ Im at the point where all i want to do at the moment is just deny myself completely of love or anything of that nature. I just find it so hard to like... lead a normal life or .. find what normallity is. But in all honesty...i think normality, is something when you only forget what your doing and do it everyday. Or not think about wether its normal or not.. Youve never contradicted yourself before thats its not normal... so now when you know you want to get back to normallity, theres no such thing because it never really existed in the first place anyway. sometimes i wish i could go back to the moment we nearly kissed..and actually kiss, so then i would have something to miss.. not obsess over what wasnt or what nearly was. Still.... seeing him with other people now, it just kinda hits home that once i was someone in his life.. now im just a shadow of the past. And i know for one, that he never likes looking back at the past. And as id rather not fight to keep myself in the present, ill remain... Sat, 30 Sep 2006 00:51:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/its-happening-again/5531/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/its-happening-again/5531/ Im crying my eyes out at the moment...  i really thought that it was going to be different with him.. he was the only person i thought about hugging and kissing that it would feel right with after the other person who i fucked it all up with  but it all turns out that hes got loads of girls that like him ....and he likes one of them back too. so if anything i walked into this one with my eyes closed totally and stepped into the deep end. i really liked him. and i really wanted to talk to the other guy (the one who i really liked first)... well we have a bit of a history and he was a really good friend but well .. it all fucked up and .. got complicated.. so i lost that friendship....  So the thing is .. the only person who id talk to about all of this was him... and to be hoenst... he doesnt care about anythign i say anymore... well .. i doubt he does anyways..but just for one moment ... i want to go back and hug him like before.. becuase hes the only... Sat, 23 Sep 2006 01:07:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/its-funny-when-you-think-its-gonna-work-out/5530/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/its-funny-when-you-think-its-gonna-work-out/5530/ www.freewebs.com/wslc   Please leave a comment promoting world peace day. Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:49:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/World-peace-day/5529/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/World-peace-day/5529/ So yet another day goes by when im still occupied by the thoughts of both of them. For the life of me please..... just let me be loveless for one moment. Not meaning to sound deperate.. (hah. persish the thought,) but well hes the first guy thats even acknowledged me in a way tht ..well he sounds intrested.. its just that.. hes always working and we wouldnt have time to see eachother. But im thinking about him constantly at the moment . But hah, alas .. he was probably not really intrested and has backed off... leaving me still thinking about him whislt he moves on. The thing is... i dont really rush into liking people very much ...and well .. it just came out the blue and i really liked him ... i had a little bit of a crush on him when he was still at school ... but i didnt put that down as anythign to be honest.. maybe becuase i was still caught up on him... Ughhhh, whats worse is that i want him to talk to me... but he never does unles ; A) he wants something B) to make a... Mon, 18 Sep 2006 23:19:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/Here-without-you./5528/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/Here-without-you./5528/ feelin a lil sad and left out . Well not left out... just lost i spose. normally when im like this id talk to him. But hes not there anymore. Forever, hes gone. Just like that i spose. i dont think 10 minutes doesnt go by without him crossing my mind.. sad i know, but its the truth. im missing him like fuuuuck.   i just want a hug from him again. thats all im asking =/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 22:54:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/all-that-i-am-is-all-that-i-ever-was./5527/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/all-that-i-am-is-all-that-i-ever-was./5527/ Ok so everythign is feeling good at the moment. My friends are great and it just feels so nice to be around them. We had a sleepover on friday...in a tent in her backgarden - it was great actually. Pillow fights... eating chocolate and ordering pizza.. it was kinda the perfect night. The when all the giggling and gossiping stopped and we all fell asleep, he began to creep into my head again, i couldnt help thinking about him... what he was doing? was he ok? was he thinking about me? i always think about that.  Just when everything goes quiet.... i think about him. Whilst ive learnt to live without him, i still need him as much as i ever did. And whilst things may never be the same i still think about the times we cuddle on the swing seat, laying on the bed cuddling. Holding hands.  He was my first love - well,  still is. And for just a moment, i thought i was his love too. Just as we finished laughing in the backgarden. as he held me hand and it felt so specail to me. and... Sun, 10 Sep 2006 19:36:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/if-i-had-my-way-id-never-get-over-you./5526/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/if-i-had-my-way-id-never-get-over-you./5526/ Im actually feeling happy at the moment.. and its a nice feeling. Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:35:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/What-a-feeling/5525/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/What-a-feeling/5525/ Today was a fantastic day... I was actually happy?? I met up with my best mates that i hadnt seen in over 2 months. It doesnt seem much... but it is to me. It made me realise how much i do need them, and how much time ive been wasting thinking about him. It is his fault, if i didnt know him, i dont think i would need medication or councilling. All i really needed were my friends. They were they're for me the whole time.  I guess like any good friend, they let me live my life, make my own mistakes and then picked up the pieces when i was done. I dont quite know what i would have done without them today. They're great. Fri, 01 Sep 2006 00:07:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/feeling-happy/5524/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/feeling-happy/5524/ well.. today was a bit crap. heh. i never know where i am with somebody at the moment. i must love him becuase, well everything he does to me.. i just accept it and care for him even more. Mehh.. i dont know.   i was thinking..... how easy it would.... i was on the pier today...(well not pier but a jetty thingy) and i was walking on the outside just along the sleepers.  Probably above 20-30ft of water... and a thought came to me how easily it would be to let go.  And not that... its would anyone jump after? i dont know. Maybe not.   Wed, 30 Aug 2006 20:36:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/Its-just-a-thought/5523/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/Its-just-a-thought/5523/ This is just a post about my life. most of this blog will be written and told by postcards. its easier than writing it all out. "They say  you dont really know how you feel until you talk about it. But for me, i dont know how i feel until i see it on a postcard"   Tue, 29 Aug 2006 18:01:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/always-turns-out-differently-how-you-planned/5522/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/chasing_time/always-turns-out-differently-how-you-planned/5522/