chasing time

So yet another day goes by when im still occupied by the thoughts of both of them. For the life of me please..... just let me be loveless for one moment. Not meaning to sound deperate.. (hah. persish the thought,) but well hes the first guy thats even acknowledged me in a way tht ..well he sounds intrested.. its just that.. hes always working and we wouldnt have time to see eachother.

But im thinking about him constantly at the moment . But hah, alas .. he was probably not really intrested and has backed off... leaving me still thinking about him whislt he moves on. The thing is... i dont really rush into liking people very much ...and well .. it just came out the blue and i really liked him ... i had a little bit of a crush on him when he was still at school ... but i didnt put that down as anythign to be honest.. maybe becuase i was still caught up on him...

Ughhhh, whats worse is that i want him to talk to me... but he never does unles ;

A) he wants something
B) to make a sarcastiic comment or;
C) a and b.


And whats worse is that i always have my knickers in a twist when i talk to him but deep down i really do care...and well .. i do care for him still. I mean that kinda thing doesnt go away just like that... forgive my naivety here... but well. You know.

hmm his song... 'here without you' uh-huh. thats about right at the moment.

Some people can forget and move on just like that.  But for me it takes time... And whilst people say im alot happier now ... and i think of one thing thats changed...and i realise- its him.... the only thing thats changed is him walking out of my life - and now im happy. But inside its killing me. I think im in danger of becomming fake and just putting on a smile to face the day.

shame.