pOeTrY

And I wash away the chance of life after I lay
AS the blood runs down my leg
I''ve taken the pills with water in one drink
I''ve decided that this life was to meek
to be enough to survive
Too intrusive to have that chance at life.
And although I had not known whether or not it could have been conceived
With no thought of it I made the vow to come clean
And that one drink of water had run through my streams
Rushed out the blood of any chance my child could have seen
And what if this was meant to be?
What if he or she would save you and me?
What if they would love more than life itself?
But I was too young to get the help
Instead I ran with fear in the opposite direction
To make sure our lives held this unrealistic form of perfection
Because at this age
At this stage
We can''t afford to have a child
We can''t afford to go that extra mile
Because this wouldn''t be a child formed in love
It would be a life from lust
When love should have been the must
Vs the feel good satisfaction of the thrust
A few moments of pleasure and here is a life
A mother and father but not husband and wife
So where''s the solution when the rubber breaks?
And him warming all inside you, is not to create
But just a mistake
What action do you take?

And I wash away the chance of life after I lay
As the blood runs down my leg
I''ve taken the pills with water in one drink
I''ve decided that this life was to meek
to be enough to survive
Too intrusive to have that chance at life.
And although I had not known whether or not it could have been conceived
With no thought of it I made the vow to come clean
072505

And do I make things more complicated than it has to be because I let the outsider’s influence me asking for perspectives and insight when they don’t have the same view of you as I do. And it creates this third eye trying to define what’s inside between the two of us. Bring in a third wheel when all we need is 2 to ride. I feel like what I want to do is so different than what I should. What’s right socially may not feel right, in my heart I start to build the path of things happening now in correlation with things from the past. And piece together the similarities in formulas which equal pain; factors that are equivalent amongst the two, hypothesizing the ratio of success. When statistics show there are no numbers that prove what feels right and what IS right…because No numbers add up to love.

We wonder where all the “good men” have gone
It’s been so long…
Are they right in front of us...being told that it’s not the right time?
Or that, we have too much on our minds
Or that we just need some space,
When in reality it’s nothing more than love misplaced.
Knowing that you are still trapped by that last flame...
(Later you will see how you were the one to blame)
Blamed for not trying to make this work
With the guy who was worth
The time,
Instead your choices are tears cried…

We wonder where all the “good men” hide

They hide behind the silence that they speak
When they see you grow weak
With every day
That you complain
Of things “he” said; he listens and notes
Never to hold
Those words to you
Because he knows better then to do
The same,
Instead he stays
Hidden until he thinks
That you have become defeat
From the abuse

(Which will never be excused...)

In his mind,
He sees it as his time
To show you how things can be
With a man willing to love unconditionally...

We wonder where all the “good men” have gone
Most moving on
To a woman who said yes I need you to show me
I need you to know me
I need to learn you
Learn to deny the excuse
Most realize
Not to waste their time
On a woman full of words that mislead
A woman who does not know what she needs
Because she can’t let go of the romance of what she wishes
Tears on her face instead of soft kisses.

She believes that this can happen one day…

Some day

Until she sees
How the “good men” would beg and plead
For her to open her heart to see
That she had the beauty of a queen

So she wonders…where have all the good men gone?

My happiness & you reside parallel
The improbability of this extent,
I have failed to comprehend.
Imagination could not begin to compose a depiction worth compare;
The vivid reality conveys more content
Than the lacking specifications of reverie.
Emotions arise from both sides of the spectrum
& although infatuation remains engaged,
There also remains
Depth in the silence of unspoken words and touch.
My happiness & you reside parallel
The fear of failing is weakening
And security takes on strength.
...growth...
Awe mesmerizing while
Holding similarities to the pigments of light reflected in the view of a kaleidoscope;
As a whole; so beautiful
And yet, exist as millions of undersized elements fused to form unity,
Fused to form beauty.

My happiness & you reside parallel.