http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone I don't know how to explain or justify this. I love the process of writing this, but hate the fact that it has no major theme or message. THe blogs on my favourites have strong themes. But I shall persist. I hope I am brave enough to let out all. I guess I will see. en bluestone bluestone Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:11:00 +0200 daily 1 Actually, I decided that I am going to write a short story, and I am going to base it on a personal experience. Wondered if my blog still existed. It did. YAY.  I wonder how many people are still here from a few years ago. I still wondered what happened to 'Mistwarrior' and her blogs.  If you are someone I cyberknow..... I hope that all is well with you!   XX R Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:11:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/I-think-I-am-back/4829/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/I-think-I-am-back/4829/ 1. Thanks Diddums for your comments. Loved em! 2. My son came home with head lice. I bombed his head with the appropriate chemicals. I used the 'metal comb' to get em out. It was easy peasy. Embarassingly, he transferred his problem onto me. I have long thick, curly hair. I have bombed my head at least 8 times. I have used the old 'conditioner' and metal comb trick. Nothing is working. This is a curse. Nothing that the medical profession can offer actually helps. Does anyone have any suggestions that they have tested that were successful. Oh by the way... a lot of stuff on the net is actually innacurate... for example... changing sheets every day... as they cannot survive away from human heat for very long.... so don't recommend that. I just thought someone out there might have an answer that I can try...... I am completely desperate... humiliated....itchy..... and damned angry. So... if you don't have an... Wed, 07 Feb 2007 12:58:38 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Help-from-experienced-mothers-would-be-appreciated/4828/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Help-from-experienced-mothers-would-be-appreciated/4828/ Has anyone exprienced this site all of a sudden switching to German. It is freaky. It just seems to flip. Things have never been the same since this whole format changed. Makes it hard doesn't it? Well, it does for me. Peace, love and brown rice! Wed, 17 Jan 2007 13:47:08 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Oh-My-Goodness/4827/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Oh-My-Goodness/4827/ I am overwhelmingly happy to report that my husbands test results came in today. His liver is 'CLEAR'. He still has to continue his chemo for some time yet... but it seems all worth it now. The relief has not quite hit us yet. All I can do is simply breathe. Wed, 17 Jan 2007 13:23:52 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Doctors-Report/4826/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Doctors-Report/4826/ Yesterday I managed to forged through those feelings of procrastination and get a bit done. Today I am at exactly the same place. Sitting here, not wanting to do the jobs that I have to. I have completed some of the tasks, which does make me feel better... but I realised that even while I was working, I was feeling guilty for not getting my other (more creative and stimulating) parts of my job done. I live a reasonably sane existance. But it is at times like this that I wonder about my own bloody head noises. Maybe I am quite mad, but just think I hide it well. I am not quite sure... no no.. I can't be crackers. I don't think I am. People in my family are mad. Not me. I am now wondering if I should go down to the shops. I need some things. But I have to wash that bloody hair of mine first. I don't feel like having a shower now. Why is my head full of such inane, bland, trivial thoughts. It is like I am living a very small existance in my holidays. But I love... Tue, 16 Jan 2007 03:13:35 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Some-Success-Yesterday/4825/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Some-Success-Yesterday/4825/ It happens to me often when I am on vacation. It drives me insane. Sometimes it is easy to control. Sometimes impossible. At the moment I am sitting at my computer procrastinating. I should be doing some work. I have an endless list of duties to perform before I get back to 'the daily grind' of my job. But all I want to do is lie on the lounge and blend in with the furniture. Oh but the guilt......arrrgggg. It is impossible to escape from myself and my stupid thought processes. I could rest. But then I think that I should not be wasting time - and just get on with the jobs I have to get organised. But then I think about how tired I feel. But then I think of all the stuff that will stress me if I wait till I get back to work to do it. Oh what to do? I might compromise and write a bit of a list and see how I go. Wish me luck. Oh gawd..... I have just noticed all the housework that needs doing. sigh ... Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:11:38 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Today-s-Crossroads/4824/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Today-s-Crossroads/4824/ I took my son to a birthday party the other day. He was happy to splash and play with all his 7 year old mates at the local pool. They were all having a fantastic time diving and swimming, dodging and weaving around each other in this pool. I noticed, after some time, that some older boys were being a bit 'roudy' amongst the younger ones. I watched carefully as a mother does. It was then that I saw them single out one of the boys. He is a lovely kid, with red hair and fair skin. These older boys decided to use their 'power' to splash him, dive too close to him and basically intimidate him in a variety of rough and tumble ways. These 'big' boys were having fun. But I knew this younger boy. He is a twin. He has a gorgeous big grin most of the time. He also has cystic fibrosis. He has enough to deal with just in his day to day life. I pondered upon whether these boys just somehow sensed that he had a 'weakness' and therefore... Sun, 14 Jan 2007 11:49:21 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Identifying-Nasty-Pieces-of-Humanity/4823/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Identifying-Nasty-Pieces-of-Humanity/4823/ Well, I had to wait a few days before I came back to that last entry. It was at the end of an enormous amount of alcohol. I knew even re-reading it would fill me with a resurgence of emotion. But I am more calm now. My husband gets his test results back in two weeks to see if the chemotherapy has worked. If not, they will take him off it and his only option is a liver transplant. We both are not even considering that as an option at the moment. If it is going ok, he will remain on the chemo for another 20 weeks. It is going to be difficult paying the mortgage as we are getting near 'broke'. Once again, we will have to find other ways to moderate our lifestyle and spending. I feel pretty positive that we will get through, it will be tough, but I know we can make it.   Thu, 11 Jan 2007 10:48:43 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/calm-to-some-degree/4822/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/calm-to-some-degree/4822/ I have thought long and hard about who I could ring. I realised that there was no one I felt comfortable burdening with my levels of extreme emotion. I feel absolutely fucked. Emotionally tired. Wondering how I am going to 'perform' to look normal. This goes back in time. This issue. I knew it was going to come back. I just happened to underestimate the impact that this was going to make on me. Over 1o years ago, when I first met my future husband, he was a single father. As I got more involved with him, I realised that I had to be a mother figure to his daughter (who was 8 yrs old). I was only about 24. Anyway, I married him and raised his daughter as my own. I drove her to her dance lessons, parties and other bloody shit. I spent a good deal of my young life helping her. (Her mother left her behind and began a new family with another partner) Yeah, you guessed it..... women who leave their children, in general, either have drug problems or mental... Fri, 05 Jan 2007 14:23:53 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/fucked/4821/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/fucked/4821/ Hey there!  I have not been able to access blogigo for ages. It seemed to have blocked me from putting entries in. At present, I am quite excited about the prospect of a job that might be advertised tomorrow! If it is advertised, it means that no one applied for it on 'transfer'. So it will be available for people who want a promotion. I am soooo hoping I will see this advertised tomorrow morning online. I hope all is well with you regulars that I have come to know! Cheers! Tue, 28 Nov 2006 08:28:25 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/What-is-going-on-Blogigo/4820/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/What-is-going-on-Blogigo/4820/ Thanks for your comments. They were much appreciated after such an absence from here! I went for a big walk today with an old friend. I did not enjoy it... but I know it will pay off tomorrow when I spring out of bed with joyous enthusiasm.. (haha) Another week ahead... sigh.... but at least the jobs are advertised on Wednesday and I hope something comes up that I will like! I must pass out now.... bed is so welcoming.   Sun, 12 Nov 2006 12:18:00 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/tired/4819/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/tired/4819/ Busy. Stressed. A touch unhappy. That is how it has been lately. Work has moved beyond the ridiculous. Again I find myself dissatisified with the leadership of my workplace. I am stuck in the middle. Trying to protect my staff from the unreasonable demands of the 'management' seems to be a main focus. Things that have happened recently have really upset me, although I have to hide it at work. I keep telling myself that I have to be resiliant. I have to prove that I can easily survive the 'punishments' I get from the person above me. Thats what I get for speaking my mind. She wonders why she cannot keep people in the 'middle management' positions. My fantasy is to tell her exactly why. Ironically, she thinks that she runs a collaborative work place. I know that working in this place is a test. My test. I have to keep telling myself that I can get through it with dignity. I find it a great struggle to remain 'professional'... Fri, 10 Nov 2006 22:24:00 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Back-for-a-few-minutes/4818/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Back-for-a-few-minutes/4818/ I hate not writing here... but I have not had the chance. I have missed it terribly... but will get back to here soon. I hope all is well with all my 'favourites'!!! THings have just been to busy and overwhelming. Peace, love & brown rice! Fri, 20 Oct 2006 12:12:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Life-slump/4817/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Life-slump/4817/ No no no.... I am too selfish to be discussing North Korea, Iraq or the Middle East for that matter. You see, my mum has left for China for a few weeks. I am in charge of my deaf and blind grandmother. She is a dear sweet woman but holy fuck.... she also tries my patience. (I know I will be condemned for saying that) Anyway.. I was going up to stay with her and I said I would be there at 4pm. I rang her at 2pm just to check in on her (yeah, she is deaf and practically blind and she is about 94) She informs me that she tried to open a window but it fell down and hit her fingers. I asked her if she was ok and she said it hurt for a while and that she was feeling better. My 'highly attuned' alarm bells rang when she said that her fingers were still bleeding. "oh shit," I thought to myself. "It has been six hours since she did this. If they are still bleeding there must be something very wrong." So I race up to see her. ... Sat, 07 Oct 2006 13:09:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Peace-Not-Likely/4816/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Peace-Not-Likely/4816/ Hey there.... does anyone still have contact with Mistwarrior? Has she begun yet another blog somewhere else? I am keen to hear how she is going.   Cheers.   Tue, 03 Oct 2006 06:39:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/For-old-scheme-Blogigoers/4815/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/For-old-scheme-Blogigoers/4815/ I am eternally grateful that I am on holidays. Well,,,, tonight is the first night of my holidays. I feel that I have to clarify my last entry. I did not have a blackout due to some strenuous drinking session.... it was an electrical blackout. Bad weather does that in the area I live in. Not that I live in the stone age or anything... just a quirky, pretty place. But, I am over that now. When we built this house, I insisted on gas so that, in blackouts, we could still have hot water and cook. So at least we could be clean and well fed. I have a new staff member. She is my age, but new in my profession. She shows much talent and I know that others will be head hunting her. So I mentioned to my boss that I had the feeling she might leave. (Why work where I do.... when you can have an easier time in other areas?) Anyway, she wanted to speak to me privately this morning. She told me that she had been offered another job. But she had said 'no' because she felt... Fri, 29 Sep 2006 16:10:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Untitled/4814/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Untitled/4814/ I have just endured a blackout that has lasted for most of the day and half the night. Cooking in the dark made for an interesting meal. I love power. (In more ways than one) Oh yeah... wedding was fine - I got all teary - my son the pageboy did a gorgeous job. It was all fine, except for my hangover today. Eww. Sun, 24 Sep 2006 12:27:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Blackout/4813/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/Blackout/4813/ I just had to write this. It has been difficult changing my lifestyle. I have been eating healthily for two weeks. Today is my weigh day. I have lost 1.7 kilos. I did not think anything was happening... so this was a pleasant surprise. It gives me the spark to keep going. Well, I am off to iron all the outfits for the wedding... so I must be off. I have bought a bottle of champagne to take for myself.... because the bride insists on drinking sweet sparkling wine that is $3.99 a bottle. The last glass she gave me made me pretty ill. Not to mention the bloody vulgar taste. Ok- cheers to all... I am off Fri, 22 Sep 2006 22:57:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/quickly-visiting-another-dimention-of-my-life/4812/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/quickly-visiting-another-dimention-of-my-life/4812/ Hmmmm, what is it about me? I just dislike going to weddings. My husbands best friend is getting married tomorrow. And I cannot say that I am looking forward to it. I mean, he is marrying someone who is right for him. I guess she is just not quite right for me. My son is the page boy. He is mighty excited. I had a demanding and crappy day at work and find myself very tired. I am off to bed.... so I can get up and get organised for the wedding of the year. Is it ironic that my 'myers briggs' profile I am an extravert but I detest these kinds of social gatherings. (oh... I don't whinge all the time... but lately.. I guess I am) But that is probably because I can get it all out here.... and I have to hide my true feelings in real life... So I guess I should explain that this blog is not the real me because it is not the whole me.... it is just the 'me' that needs to download at times. Fri, 22 Sep 2006 13:15:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/I-accept-my-horribleness/4811/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/I-accept-my-horribleness/4811/ Oh my goodness!!! It has been terrible. Frustrating. Almost debilitating! My laptop crashed big time and I was technologically naked for quite a few days. I was surprised to find myself a little lost. I did not realise how important this little piece of technology is to me. When the tech guy saw me he said 'how important was that laptop to you" I replied that it was a big part of my life. *Inside I felt my heart beating faster and a rising level of anxiety filling my chest.* He laughed and gave it back and said it was now fine. I was so concerned that I would not have this laptop to continue my various work related business... and of course all the internet interests of mine. But all is well that ends well. Things are not too bad in my life. I am very tired and when that happens, I don't tend to suffer fools to well. So I have not been 'making friends' at work. *sigh* Not that I care too much. I... Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:00:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/my-significant-other/4810/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/bluestone/my-significant-other/4810/